


Remorseless

by KayteeBarnes



Series: Reckless [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Jessica Jones (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aggressive Bucky Barnes, Angst and Feels, Brainwashing, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Evil Bucky Barnes, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hydra (Marvel), Inhumans (Marvel), Mind Control, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Tony Stark, Romance, SHIELD, Violence, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-06 22:06:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 94,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5432468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayteeBarnes/pseuds/KayteeBarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part three of 'Reckless' read those first to make better sense of this one :)<br/>Bucky and Zara are forced to put their search for Grant Ward on hold after months of chasing cold leads. Frustrated, Zara leaves field work to sharpen her skills, all the while running her own secret missions to hunt Ward alone, and gather intel on the inhumans working for Hydra- namely the telepathics. Things get scary when Hydra takes control of Bucky, and Zara has to fight to save them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Woohoo I'm BACK! Third and final installment of my little series. Really excited about this one and I hope you all like it, will add tags and a better description later. Nice long chapter to kick us off :)  
> -Kaytee xoxo

  
  
The wisp of smoke coming from the barrel of the gun caught her eye as her focus went from the perfect chest shot, to taking the perfect head shot. *BANG* Right between the eyes.  
Her hands didn't tremble holding a gun anymore. Many hours alone at the shooting range had seen her confidence come back, just like Bucky had said it would. She removed her earmuffs and pressed the button to her left, the paper target whizzing towards her, pegged to the cable. She took it off, replacing it with a fresh one before she left, as per the range rules. Zara glanced at her phone, her chest tightening when she saw the time, realizing she was going to be late, yet again. She holstered her gun under her suit jacket as she made her way out to the hallway, her heels click-clacking on the polished concrete floor.  
  
"Coulson, I'm so sorry. I was downstairs and I lost track of time-" She said, worry in her voice.  
"--It's fine, it's fine... Just don't make a habit of it, okay?" He smiled, "You'll be ready to go back out in the field soon at this rate"  
  
Zara cocked a brow, not really sure to answer, instead letting out an awkward chuckle, looking away as she played with her fingernails.  
"You know what, don't worry about it. When you're ready, the job's yours. You're wasted in here running office errands."  
Zara's mind ran at a million miles an hour and she was sure her face would give her away. If only they knew she'd been running her own little missions... She swallowed hard, shaking her thoughts off, now wasn't the time to spill the beans.  
"Thanks Coulson," She said "Can I get you a latte?"  
"Sure, thanks" He answered, still finding it weird that one of his best agents was now doing the coffee run, rather than the usual death defying field work.  
"I don't have much for you to do today, I just need you could run these files to the upstairs office and shut the computers down for me... Why not take the afternoon off?"  
"Really? Oh wow, thanks that'd be great!"  
  
  
  
Zara shoved her Smartphone into her pocket as she strode as quickly as she could across the foyer, looking over her shoulder like she always did. She gripped the car keys as she stepped out the glass doors, dragging in a breath of fresh air as she did. She stifled a grin, once again she hadn't been seen, nor had she been questioned.  
  
_Excellent..._  
  
She gasped with fright when something, or someone, came rushing up beside her, only for her to roll her eyes and fling her hand out to slap him.  
  
_God damn it..._  
  
"Where are you off to in such a hurry, princess?" Came the thick Eastern European accent that she'd grown to both love and hate at the same time.  
"None of your damn business" She said, pulling her wrist from his grip. "And it's not fair to use your speed with me. If you sneak up on me, Pietro, I am entitled to slap you." She said, mock-stern.  
"I think I'd like very much for you to slap me"  
"I think I'd rather punch you" She sassed, cocking her head as she stepped around him and continued to where the cars were parked, and pressing the button on the keychain.  
"Better you than the boyfriend..." Pietro said, stepping back in front of her, blocking her path again.  
"Well I'm sure he'd like to do much worse than just punch you, Speedy. Now get out of my way or I'm going to be late" She said, annoyance in her voice now.  
"You didn't answer me, princess, where are you running off to?"  
"Call me princess one more time, and I swear to god-"  
"You'd what? ... You'd never catch me." He teased, Zara rolling her eyes as she glanced at her watch impatiently.  
"Ugh, you're a pest. Go find someone else to annoy."  
  
Pietro cocked his head at her, mock-hurt with his hand over his heart.  
  
"Look, I'm just running an errand, I'll be back in a few hours." She said, putting an arm out to push him aside.  
"You've been running a lot of those lately. I wonder if Barnes knows?" He asked, making her stop short and turn to face him, drawing in a sharp breath.  
"I'll take that as a no, then... Secretly running off in leather pants and heels-"  
"I hope you're not insinuating that I'm cheating or something!" She snapped, genuinely angry now as she stepped towards him.  
"I'm not insinuating anything... I just want to know where you're going. I overheard Coulson tell someone you were training this afternoon, so imagine my surprise when I find you hurrying out the lobby..." He said with an accusing tone.  
"You're fucking spying on me!?" She snapped, shoving him in the chest hard enough to make him stumble back. "I thought you were a creep, Pietro but this takes it to a whole new level."  
"A creep? A CREEP!?" He argued, getting angry himself. "I just want to make sure you're safe, Zara. That's all! We look out for each other here in case you haven't noticed-"  
"There's a big difference between looking out for each other and following each other in secret, Maximoff." She seethed through gritted teeth.  
"We all have secrets, Jones. Apparently some more than others." He said, gesturing at her. She stood her ground, crossing her arms and setting her jaw.  
"Okay, fine, you've made your point. What are you going to do about it? Taddle on me?" She said condescendingly, cocking her head. Pietro let out a frustrated breath, running a hand through his silvery hair.  
"You tell me where you're going, or I tell Barnes. If something happens to you, and I knew all along, then that's on me." He said with a shrug.  
  
Zara looked away, letting out a breath. There was no way she could argue with that. If something happened to her, the first thing Barnes would do was to blame someone, and the responsible person would ultimately pay the price. Despite her love/hate relationship with Pietro - more leaning in the less favourable direction at the best of times - she didn't want him in trouble. Especially the angry super soldier kind of trouble... But then again there was that magical little thing called plausible deniability...  
  
"Okay fine..." She said, cocking her head. "I have a waxing appointment. There, are you happy now?"  
"Is that it?" He said, his cheeks dusting pink.  
"Bucky's due back this week, and I wanted to pick him up a surprise, and stop by the salon. As I said, what I do in my personal time is none of your business, but by all means call him and feel free to ruin everything" She said, letting anger creep into her tone.  
"I'm sorry..."  
"It's fine, just don't be so quick to make assumptions about people. It's rude." She said, cocking a brow. "I'll be back later."  
  
  
  
  
The city was busy, with lots of traffic. Usually this would have bothered her but not today. Maybe that's why Bucky had offered her use of his car as opposed to one of the Shield SUV's. She managed a smile, thinking of his sweet gesture. Nobody was allowed to even TOUCH his car and he'd just thrown her the keys like it was no big deal. She ran her thumb over the stainless steel plate of the gear shift, closing her eyes for a moment and taking in the smell of the leather seats, it sure was a beautiful car to drive.  
She shifted back to third, slowing to read a sign as she looked for somewhere to park. Out of all the trips she'd made out here, the one thing that was a constant pain in the ass was parking, she couldn't fathom how anyone could live in the heart of the city comfortably. There was certainly something claustrophobic about it, and she had been thrilled when they'd moved to the new Avengers base in Upstate NY. Well, thrilled once they'd settled after all the drama of course.  
  
Zara stepped out of the car, having found a spot near the entrance of the parking lot. Her shoes crunched in the fresh snow, and she suddenly missed her Doc Martens. It's all for a reason' she told herself, swinging a delicate looking handbag over her shoulder, holding her head high and making her way to the building she was after.  
She gave her hair a fluff as she slowed, remembering the way from the last half a dozen times she'd been here. She looked up at the big stainless steel letters on the otherwise plain wall as she stepped through the glass doors, popping the top button of her jacket as she did. She stepped over to the guy behind the desk, relieved it was the usual one, the one she had wrapped around her little finger. She shot him a flirtatious smile as she made her way over to the desk, leaning over it to sign in on the clipboard.  
  
"Hi there Felix..." She purred, giving him a wink. His cheeks dusted pink as they always did, making her chuckle a little. Romanov's lessons had obviously paid off, she made a mental note to pick her up an expensive bottle of vodka to say thank you.  
"H-Hi there Miss Morgan..." The 40-something stuttered as he pushed his glasses up, cocking his head in obvious mock-confidence. She gave him another smile, suddenly feeling bad for him as she fished her lanyard and fake ID from her handbag, putting it on around her neck.  
"Thanks so much for the call, I really appreciate it" She said as she fixed her hair, untucking it from the lanyard cord. "Is he ready for me or shall I wait here?"  
"No, I booked you straight in. I-I don't like to keep a lady waiting..." He said, blushing furiously now as he reached over to the wall beside him, pressing the downstairs buzzer. "Special Agent Morgan is here from the FBI, ID verified" He said into the speaker, releasing the button with a smile.  
"Thanks Felix, I won't forget this" She smiled back.  
  
  
  
Zara crossed her arms and gave a shiver as she stepped in to the cold, sterile room. Her eyes scanned the stainless steel fridge doors, the thought of what was behind them making her feel a little uneasy. She had the urge to hold her breath, finding the smell of bleach in the room a little overpowering. Still, she guessed it was better than the obvious alternative. She forced herself to relax and refocused as she followed the man in the white coat as he walked her over to the gurney, stopping in front of it.  
  
The toe tag on the body caught her eye, her stomach tightening again making her feel like she was either going to throw up or faint. Name: Unknown. Male. Caucasian. 30-35 years of age. Cause of death - trauma. Notes - high tech prosthetic arm. To be identified.  
  
Zara swallowed, letting out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding as she looked over to the man in the lab coat. His hand hovered over the white sheet, pausing before he lifted it to ask if she was ready to proceed. She nodded, just wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible.  
  
"God damn it..." She muttered under her breath as he pulled the sheet back. She clenched her jaw and shook her head, the urge to punch something rising up within her. Her eyes scanned over the body in front of her, stopping at his arm. She'd seen more prosthetic arms over the last couple of months than she cared to think about, not to mention bodies, too.  
  
_THAT's not a high tech prosthetic arm, that's a- huh?_  
  
"Special Agent?" Came the voice of the man across from her, snapping her back into reality.  
"Sorry, no. No it's not him, thank you for your time" She said quickly, forcing a polite smile as she gave him a nod and turned to leave.  
  
Zara stepped out into the chilly January air, zipping her jacket up as she pulled the last cigarette from the box in her pocket. She cupped her hand around the end to shield it from the wind, taking several attempts to light the damn thing, only irritating her that much more. She dragged in the first breath with an air of desperation, her eyes closing as she slowly let the smoke out.  
Another trip to yet another morgue. For the amount of security in the building, she was both shocked and relieved how easy it was to gain entry to the examination room itself - just by flirting with the guy at the front counter. This was something Natasha had divulged one night after a few too many vodka shots. 'Never underestimate the power of stilettos and boobs' she had said. Zara had run out to buy a push up bra the very next day, being not as genetically blessed as the curvaceous red head, and wouldn't you know it, the woman was right.  
  
Bucky wouldn't like that she'd gone to the examiner's office, and she didn't have plans to tell him, but if he asked she'd decided it was better to be honest. Hell, all going well, it would all come out at some point anyway. Shield would find Grant Ward sooner or later, probably leaning towards the later at this rate. Her and Bucky had chased him for months, every lead turning out to be cold, and they were always one, if not ten steps behind him.  
If Bucky Barnes, former assassin and ghost story himself couldn't find someone, then they clearly didn't want to be found.  
It had gotten to the point where Coulson had just had to throw his hands up and tell them that enough was enough and put a stop to the whole thing, which had infuriated them both. The consensus being that if they took a step back, looked at the bigger picture and worked on taking Hydra down on a grander scale, Ward would come out of the woodwork sooner or later.  
Of course this had caused upset at Shield, and Bucky had been especially moody, the younger recruits once again giving him a wide berth. Nothing Zara couldn't handle of course, but it had been stressful all the same.  
  
That was around the same time Zara had volunteered herself for the office job which had opened up, taking her off the field while she worked on her skills back at the building. The extra spare time she'd had up her sleeve had been a godsend, and she'd used it wisely to run her own secret missions. Screw it, she wasn't about to give up on Grant Ward, not after all he'd done to them. She wanted to be the one to put the bullet between his eyes personally.  
  
She finished her cigarette, butting it out with her toe on the snowy sidewalk, picking the butt up to throw in the trash can. That was another secret habit she'd taken up without even realizing. One terrible night she'd had a nightmare and gone out to the balcony on the upper level for some air. One of the rookies had seen that she'd been crying, and being the kind of guy he was, had offered her a cigarette when he couldn't offer solace. It had been hard with Bucky being away, she'd had to cope with the stress of the Ward case alone, and not only that, but she'd had to keep it quiet. When Bucky had been home he'd been moody and stressed, and although he was fine with Zara, it still made an impact on her, and sneaking off for a smoke had been the one thing to keep her tethered. It took her back to a simpler time, a time where she didn't have to care. She felt like she could almost remember what that was like, not that she'd trade her relationship or her family at Shield for anything, but it was nice to forget about her problems for 5 minutes a couple of times a day. It was something she knew she'd have to give up eventually, but for now she figured she had bigger things to worry about.  
  
  
  
  
She crossed her arms, pulling the lanyard off and shoving it back into her bag and buttoning her suit jacket back up. She needed a coffee. A big one. Zara glanced at her watch, it was getting late in the afternoon and the shops were going to be closing up soon. She still had time to pick up a few things so she didn't go back to the base empty handed, no doubt a certain silver-haired 'concerned friend' would be waiting for her return.  
  
"Shopping, then coffee..." She said to herself with a nod as she opened a pack of chewing gum.  
  
  
  
  
Zara pulled into the empty parking spot out the front of the quiet bar. They certainly weren't a coffee shop, but she'd gotten to know the owner and he was always happy to put the kettle on for her.  
She spritzed on some perfume, stepping out into the cold air, locking the car behind her as she stepped into the bar, a familiar face giving her a smile which she returned.  
"Hey, Zee" He said, his face lighting up as if a friendly face was the best thing he'd seen all day.  
"Hey Luke," She said tiredly as she sat at one of the bar stools, a scowly looking black haired girl catching her eye at the table in the corner. She almost smiled at Zara, well perhaps going from the scowl to neutral for a moment, but the gesture wasn't lost on Zara who politely returned the favour.  
"Rough day?" She asked, turning back to the well built, African American bartender, noticing his expression was one of exhaustion. He nodded in answer, giving a shrug at the same time.  
"You have no idea..." He said, a bitter chuckle escaping him as he wiped a mug clean with a tea towel. Zara nodded, her lips pursed. "What brings you down this way?" He asked, scooping the coffee into the mug as the kettle let out a ding.  
"Another body..." She said, letting out an annoyed breath. "Wasn't who I was hoping it'd be though"  
"Always the way..." He said, putting the mug in front of her. "Nerd boy asked you to marry him yet?" He joked, lightening the mood, making her laugh. She shook her head.  
"No, not yet. Maybe next time" She joked back, taking a sip of her coffee, letting out a satisfied sigh. "I might just marry YOU if you keep making me coffee like this!"  
  
The woman in the corner shifted uncomfortably, now not bothering to hide her annoyance. Zara mouthed a 'sorry' to the bartender, only for him to smile and wave his hand.  
"Ignore her..." He said, loudly enough for Scowly to hear, who turned to shoot both him and Zara a nasty look. Zara raised a brow, unintimidated and not up for taking shit off anyone today.  
"You won't be ignoring me when I put your face through that lovely bar of yours, will you, Cage?" She sassed from her corner of the bar. Zara looked back and forth between the two, obvious tension rippling between them as he slammed the tea towel back down on the bar top.  
"You know you can't hurt me, Jessica-"  
"Oh I think I could..."  
"Do I need to get the angle grinder out to prove my point again? Or maybe step out into traffic and wreck a few cars for you?"  
"Fucking hell! Is there anything ELSE you want to blurt out!?" She snapped, striding over to the bar, gesturing over to Zara angrily.  
"She already knows, it's fine." He said, not backing down, Zara suddenly feeling incredibly awkward. It was becoming obvious that there was bad blood between him and this crazy woman.  
  
"What, did she bat her eyes at you, huh?"  
"Excuse me?" Zara snapped, putting her mug down harder than she meant to, rising to her feet to challenge the other woman.  
"Back off, Jones!" Came the voice of the bartender as he stepped over to them.  
"Don't tell me-" Both women started at the same time, stopping short to look at each other with a look of breathless shock.  
  
Zara closed her mouth, picking up her bag as she slapped a couple of dollars on the bartop. She didn't have time for this, not today.  
  
"Not you, Zee, I meant HER" He said, gesturing over at the other black haired woman. "And you know the coffee is on me, get that money outta here."  
Zara let out a breath, looking the other woman up and down for a moment as she took the notes back, folding them in half and tucking them back into her purse.  
"Jessica, this is Zara Jones. She's a FRIEND, and yes, she knows about us both. We met a couple of months ago and she helped me take down some troublemakers. She's trying to track down a couple of criminals with abilities."  
  
Jessica looked back and forth between the two of them, letting out a breath through gritted teeth.  
"What do you know about people with abilities?" Jessica asked Zara, cocking her head as if assessing her.  
"I know plenty about them, I'm close to a few... What I WANT to know is why so many of them are working for Hydra." Zara said, standing her ground confidently.  
"Because they're being controlled, obviously" Jessica said, her tone both sarcastic and condescending.  
"No shit" Zara said, matching her tone. "I know they have mind controllers out there keeping the others in check, I want to know who they are, and why they're helping Hydra."  
"Yeah, well we're working on that..." Jessica said, cocking her head slightly as she shot Luke a look. "So where do you come into all this? You a spy or something?"  
"No, I'm actually from Shield-"  
"Oh that's just great-"  
"I'm not an agent. I'm still listed as deceased on their files." She said, Jessica suddenly closing her mouth, choosing to listen rather than argue. "I was killed in action last year when Shield went to war with them. I was taken by Hydra, revived somehow, and my memory wiped. I was experimented on, and sent out on assassinations until Shield found me, and I was rescued..."  
  
Jessica nodded, her face going from the aggressive scowl to one of sympathy.  
  
"Like that guy that went nuts in D.C a couple of years ago, when the helicarriers went down..."  
"Kinda, I was only gone for 6 months though. Bucky went through it for 70 years, and he was brainwashed, wiped and frozen in cryo over and over again... Hard to believe he came out of that as well as he did..." She said, her voice trailing off as she spoke.  
"You speak like you know him..."  
"I do, he's my boyfriend." Zara said, Jessica's expression still soft.  
"Okay, now things are starting to make sense. It's personal..."  
  
Zara nodded, the ghost of a smile crossing her face, Jessica even returning it. Luke was visibly more relaxed now that the two women looked less like they were about to kill each other. He decided to leave them to it, turning to continue setting the bar up to open for the night. Zara glanced at her watch, it was getting late and she had a long drive ahead of her as it was. She fished her car keys from her purse, playing with them in her hands for a few moments.  
  
"They had mind controllers out on the field when D.C was attacked a few months ago..."  
"I thought that was terrorists?"  
"Nope... We were down there fighting, and the things that they were making these inhumans do... Civilians wouldn't have stood a chance." Zara began, still looking down at her keys, "I think the thing that scares me the most, is if the mind controllers got in range of the people I care about... A few of them would be pretty fucking scary on the wrong side of the fence... And I just can't let that happen." She said, looking up and Luke and Jessica, who both nodded in agreement.  
  
"I've had experience with a mind controller, myself..." Jessica admitted, her voice quiet, "So I know where you're coming from"  
  
Zara nodded, sympathy in her expression, "We need to take them out, or free them from whatever control Hydra has them under. I have ears and eyes everywhere, but no solid leads yet"  
"Funny you say that, because I'm actually a private investigator and chasing a few leads myself..." Jessica said, pulling her phone out of her back pocket and unlocking it. "If you like, I can call you if I come across anything that may help"  
"Oh wow, that'd be great..." Zara said, pulling her phone out, "Thanks so much"  
  
"Thanks for the coffee, Luke." Zara said as she rubbed her hands together, ready to brave the cold outside for the long drive home.  
"You got it, kid" He said with a friendly wink as he wiped the last glasses with a hand towel.  
"Nice meeting you, Jessica." She added, giving a wave which was returned with a smile as well.  
  
"Stay in touch, little Jones!" Luke called out after her as she left the bar, "And drive safe"  
"Will do, later guys!" Zara called back.  
  
The cold air hit her like a slap in the face, making her grateful that she'd gotten a park right out front of the bar. She started the heater up as soon as the engine was running, letting it warm up while she set her handbag down on the seat beside her and clipped her phone into the cradle.  
It conveniently started ringing when she'd pulled out onto the freeway, a smile crossing her lips when she saw who's photo come up on the screen.  
"Why hello there..." She said with a giggle as she answered it.  
"How's my girl?" Came Bucky's confident voice over the loudspeaker.  
"She's tired, but good." Zara said, "How's my guy?"  
"He's good too," Bucky said with a throaty chuckle. "Where are you, sounds like you're driving?"  
"I'm on my way home from the city. I had the afternoon off so I came down to do a little shopping, got us a few things"  
"Sounds like you had fun, did you take the GTO?"  
"I did, thank you so much for trusting me with it. It's so nice to drive... How's the mission going?"  
"Anything for my girl..." He said, his chuckle coming back, "Well that's actually why I was calling..."  
"Don't tell me you're going to be away even longer?" Zara complained, sadness creeping into her voice, "I miss you so much..."  
"I miss you too, baby. More than you realize" he said, making her heart melt a little. "But we won't have to miss each other for much longer, because I'm on my way home as we speak."  
"Seriously!?" She said, unable to contain her excitement, "When will you be back, how far away are you?"  
"Later tonight, I'm about 5 hours away right now, give or take..."  
"Oh my god, that's the best news I've heard in weeks. I'll wait up for you!"  
  
"I'm counting on it."  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, another chapter for you guys. It's a bit of background for you all so hope you enjoy it. I have big plans for this fic so bear with me, will be another slow builder, but you all liked the last two - so if it ain't broke, yada, yada, yada. Enjoy! :)  
> -Kaytee xoxo

  
  
It's one of those strange things, the more often you look at the clock, the slower it seems to go. Zara had raced home as quickly as she could, and according to the time-frame Bucky had guessed, she'd have at least two hours to kill. She cleaned their room from top to bottom, changed the sheets and still had plenty of time to have a shower and pamper herself a little.  
She glanced at the digital clock on the wall again, opting to get the spare quilt from the top of the wardrobe and curl up on the couch for a while in front of the TV. It was the middle of winter after all, and she was cold. She was always cold according to Bucky, but it wasn't her fault if he ran like a furnace and always wanted the air conditioning on. The compromise was air conditioning so long as he cuddled her which he was always happy to oblige. She tucked her legs up, covering herself with the blanket and piling the cushions up at one end so she could rest her head, suddenly feeling very tired.  
  
Zara sat up when there was a noise at the door, and she suddenly realized she'd drifted off. There was a faint beep and the door opened, revealing a very tired, but still smiling super soldier. Zara grinned as she leaped up from the couch, jogging over to him and jumping into his outstretched arms. Bucky held her tight, twirling her around before taking her face in his hands, kissing her tenderly. Zara smiled against his lips, kissing him back, her arms around his neck still.  
"Hi..." He said when they parted, his voice husky and tired.  
"Hey you..." She answered, going in for another kiss, Bucky closing the door with his free hand. "You look so tired..." She said, her thumb stroking his brow, concern on his face.  
"It's been a long day. Sorry I'm so late, they wanted to debrief us tonight, and it took forever."  
"What time is it?"  
"Almost two..." He said, closing in on her again for another kiss, his flesh arm still tight around her waist. "I missed you, Zee..." He mumbled as his lips went to her neck, his stubble lightly grazing her skin, making her shiver against him.  
"I missed you too..." She breathed.  
  
  
  
  
Zara was the first to wake, which was strange with 'Mr up at the crack of dawn' laying beside her. A smile crossed her face watching him sleep, enjoying the most peaceful look she'd ever seen on him. She cursed herself for needing to pee, Bucky stirring beside her when she sat up and slipped out of bed. There was no sneaking away from Bucky Barnes.  
"Hey..." He said, in his husky morning voice as she tiptoed back to bed, Bucky holding the cover up so she could slip back under where it was warm.  
"Good morning, soldier" She giggled as he pulled her into his arms, a gasp nearly escaping her as he pressed an eager kiss to her lips, rolling onto his back, positioning her astride him.  
"It is a good morning waking up to a view like this" He quipped, a smug smile crossing his face as she cocked her head.  
"You do realize that one of us isn't a super soldier don't you? You're going to wear me out on the first day!"  
"Oh yeah right, says the one who's initiated at LEAST half of it since I walked in at 2 o'clock in the morning..." He chuckled, teasing her. Zara slapped his shoulder, his chuckle evolving into a laugh. She grinned seeing his face so bright, you knew he was genuine when his smile reached his eyes, the corners crinkling a little.  
"Careful, I might enjoy getting slapped around."  
"Oh dear God, I shouldn't have made you watch Fifty Shades!" Zara said with a big dramatic eye roll, joining in on the laughs.  
  
"I am nothing like that Christian Grey..." He said, a more thoughtful look on his face now. Zara bit her lip and cocked a brow as she gave the matter a little thought.  
"Well actually... You're a lot like Christian Grey..." She said, teasing him now.  
"Oh fuck off" He chuckled.  
"No really! You fly a quinjet - so that can be your helicopter-"  
"I can fly a helicopter too, incidentally... But go on..." He said, amused.  
"You're fit, you're cute, you want to have sex every 5 seconds-"  
"Oh, ME!? No, I think maybe YOU'RE Christian Grey!"  
"I'm a girl"  
"Christine?" He tested, Zara covering her face as she laughed.  
"You like punching things, you live in a state of the art building and have access to lots of money... You're moody!" She teased again, his mouth dropping open in mock-offense.  
"My god... It all fits... Except the weird accent thing. I think the guy who plays him is Irish..." She mused.  
"I can speak fluent Russian?"  
"No you can't-"  
"YA sobirayus' vint tebe mozgi..." He cut her off, a smug grin on his face.  
  
Zara's mouth dropped open in astonishment, of all the time she'd been with Bucky she'd never heard a word of Russian out of him. Natasha had said something one night about him being fluent, but that was probably the same night they'd had the push-up bra conversation. After a few drinks, the line between 'serious' and 'joking' was often a little blurry with Natasha, she could just say something and keep her face deadpan. Zara of course had laughed anyway, but turns out this was one of the times she'd actually been serious...  
  
"What did you just say to me?"  
"Oh, you'll find out" He chuckled, enjoying the slightly worried look on her face. "I said I was going to screw your brains out"  
  
Zara burst into laughs, finding the whole conversation hilarious, Bucky joining in. She wiped the couple of tears that had escaped, as Bucky sat himself up so they could be eye to eye, Zara still on his lap.  
  
"Only difference is, I don't hit girls" He said, one hand cupping her face as he pressed a feather-light kiss on her lips. "I don't know how guys live with themselves having their wives cower in fear when they come home..."  
"It sucks, doesn't it..." Zara said, pushing his hair back off his face. "We'll never have to worry about that. If you hit me, I'd shoot you" She said, relief passing through her when he smiled, lightening the mood.  
"If I hit you, I'd shoot MYSELF" He joked, "I just don't understand how people get off from hurting someone else, and I was for all intents and purposes a professional murderer for the best part of 70 years. I never got any kind of pleasure or happiness from it, ever. Satisfaction from a revenge kill, sure, but that's something different." He said, looking into her eyes, Zara agreeing with what he was saying.  
  
"I know I'll enjoy strangling the life out of that son of a bitch Ward when we find him..."  
"Don't you dare, I want to put a bullet between his eyes. I've even been practicing on the range."  
"No, a bullet's too good for him. He has to suffer for what he did, and I have a few ideas floating around..."  
  
Zara bit her lip, her heart picking up in pace as she imagined just what those things were.  
  
"Oh hi 'Scary Bucky'... Welcome back, it's been a while" She chuckled, teasing him. His face softened, light heartedness replacing the intensity that head crept into his expression.  
"I'm sorry, it's been an intense couple of weeks... I'm still a little wound up" He admitted, cocking his head to the side.  
"Well maybe we can remedy that... If you wanted to make good on your Russian promise?"  
  
  
  
  
Bucky and Zara made their way down the corridor, his arm over her shoulder the way it always usually was. He pushed the door open with his metal arm, walking into a simple looking room containing what looked like an examination table and a desk.  
"Thanks for coming with me," Zara said, keeping her voice quiet. Bucky nodded and smiled, gesturing at the examination table which she sat herself on.  
"Don't mention it"  
  
They were shortly joined by Coulson, and a petite blonde girl with astonishing green eyes. Blondie smiled at both of them, her face bright and genuine.  
"Bucky, Zara, this is Candice. Candice, Bucky and Zara" He said, gesturing between them all. Candice beamed a big teethy smile at them, putting her hand out to shake with both of them as they greeted each other.  
"So how's this all gonna go down?" Bucky asked, clearly a little tense as he looked back and forth between everyone, Coulson gestured at Candice who nodded, turning to Bucky and Zara before speaking.  
"Okay, so I've had a session with Thomas, and we're pretty sure what Hydra were looking for in you. We've discovered that they weren't after the serum as such, but more so the trace elements of the chemicals from your revival."  
"I was revived with a drug?"  
"From what I understand it was a combination of that, and some sort of... Shock therapy, I guess you'd call it? They had an inhuman there that could control electricity. The chemical was injected straight into your heart, and your heartbeat was synthesized until it started beating on its own. There was more to it of course, but that was the basic gist of it. I've written a report and made up a copy of for you to go over at your own leisure." She said.  
  
Zara nodded, it was a lot to take in.  
  
"So why do you need to see me now?" She asked, cutting straight to the point in true Zara style, Bucky's eyes flicking over to the small, blonde girl waiting for her answer.  
"I don't need to see you, you're not obligated to be here at all. I'm here because Coulson thought you may have memories you'd like to recover, and I am here to offer my help, should you want to take it. That goes for you, too Bucky." She said, that big smile still plastered onto her face.  
  
Bucky and Zara exchanged a look, Bucky's eyes seemingly screaming at her to get up and leave, but curiosity had gripped her, and suddenly she wanted to know more.  
"Okay." She said, giving Candice a nod. Bucky rolled his eyes in defeat and annoyance. He set his jaw, but remained at her side just as he'd promised to do, not half an hour earlier.  
"H- I mean... How's this gonna work? What do I do, and will it hurt?" Zara asked, nerves creeping in. Candice smiled sympathetically.  
"No, you won't feel a thing. If you get overwhelmed, we'll stop straight away. I don't want to push you." She said reassuringly, "You'll be able to speak to me, and if you want to stop, just say so. I'm going to put my hands on your temples and you're going to close your eyes, and we'll begin. I'll start with a recent one, and I'll stop and check in with you before we go further. Are you ready?" Candice asked, looking into Zara's eyes. Zara nodded nervously, blowing out a breath as she closed her eyes.  
"Let's do this"

***  
_Zara looked over her shoulder as she darted into the bar, keeping low and gun raised in front of her defensively. She'd watched these guys hold up a local cafe and hadn't been fast enough to catch them. They weren't going to rob this place, no way. Of course the police were nowhere to be found. They charged in, ski masks over their faces and guns drawn, demanding cash. The attractive African American bartender cocked a smile, not fazed in the slightest._  
_One of the men cocked his gun, the bartender stepping out from behind the counter as if daring him to pull the trigger. Zara's mouth dropped open as the bartender made his way over to them, stepping closer and closer. He was going to get himself killed._  
_Zara couldn't take it anymore, holstering her gun and charging out of the shadow launching herself at the intruders silently. She wrapped an arm around his neck from behind, swinging to kick the other in the head, knocking him over, the bartender pouncing on him. Zara tackled the guy she'd grabbed to the ground, hearing glass shattering beside her. Her opponent tried to fight back, Zara pulling her gun from its holster and slamming the butt into his temple, knocking him out._  
_She stood up at the same time as the bartender, his height towering over her, making her breath hitch a little._  
_"Are you okay?" She asked. He nodded, looking down at the invaders on the floor._  
_"Thanks" He said, putting a hand out. "Luke cage"_  
_"Zara Jones..." She said without thinking, shaking her head at herself. Oh well, it was too late to come up with a false name now. "Oh my god..." She said, noticing the state of his shirt and the bloody glass in the hand of the attacker. "You were glassed... Do you need me to call you an ambulance?"_  
_He lifted his shirt absent-mindedly, revealing there wasn't a mark on him. The same couldn't be said about his tattered shirt. He chuckled nervously._  
_"I guess I was lucky..."_  
_"That's more than luck..." She said, "You're enhanced..."_  
***  
  
Zara's eyes widened when Candice released her and she let a breath out. She realized Bucky was standing in front of her, her hand in his and Coulson had left the room.  
"How was that, Zara?" Candice asked, concern in her eyes. Zara nodded, giving a smile, speechless for a moment.  
"That was incredible... The night I met Luke... I'm just, that's amazing..." She stammered, Bucky straightening up.  
"Who's Luke?" He asked, cocking a brow. Zara let out a laugh, seems like 'possessive Bucky' was back again.  
"A friend of mine, I was in New York a couple of months ago and these guys tried to hold a bar up. There weren't any cops so I ran in and helped the bartender out, we stayed friends after that. Him and his girlfriend are both inhumans" She said, Bucky nodding thoughtfully.  
"You never told me that story..."  
"Well there's more to it... I'll fill you in this afternoon over a coffee" She promised, giving his hand a squeeze.  
  
_Honesty is the best policy... Shut up brain!_  
  
"Do you want me to do any more today?" Candice asked, enthusiastically, earning a grin from Zara.  
"Can I ask you to find something specific?" She asked, testing the water. Candice let out a long breath, biting her lip as she searched for the right words.  
"That depends... I can find something if it was a major memory in your life. I could see a milestone event, but it might be hard for me to pinpoint, like, where you left your car keys... If that makes sense?" She explained. "Memories are a funny thing. The big important ones are lit up, like a highlighted line in a textbook. I mean I suppose I COULD find the little things, but that takes longer and would be draining on us both... But I'm willing to try anything if it helps!" She beamed.  
"Okay, how about the day I met Bucky? I don't remember it, but it's a memory I'd like to have..."  
"I told you how we met, you came into my class and tried to beat me up" Bucky chuckled.  
"Oh shush, I want to see for myself" Zara pouted, giving in and letting a smile through.  
  
Zara closed her eyes and sat still, Candice's cold fingertips on her temple making her shiver. Candice closed her eyes, her smile disappearing as a dark shadow seemingly formed over her. Bucky watched like a hawk as Zara's eyelids started to flutter, memories coming back to her.  
  
***  
_Zara made her way down the damp, dark corridor, eyes on the ground, following her combat boots - one step after the other. She was led to a door which was pulled open before she was shoved in. Before her in the vault-like concrete room was the kid she'd been pitted against more times than she cared to think about. A boy of similar age to her, maybe 21 or so, but much taller and stronger. He had dark hair, striking features, and dark, mysterious eyes. If she'd met him under different circumstances she might even think he was cute. But not here, not in this world. The fact that he'd been responsible for giving her the now fading black eye she currently sported was also not working in his favor. She swallowed hard, not looking forward to taking another beating, but determined to get him back. He was bigger but she was faster and it was only a matter of time before that worked in her favor._  
_Hell, they already had BIG. Big was what, or who, was standing before them both. He was a good 6 foot tall, and apparently over 240 pounds. He was strong enough to rip the doors off a car without batting an eye and frighteningly fast. He was cold, ruthless and completely lethal. He was highly trained in combat with dozens of assassinations under his belt, unbeatable with any weapon you could think of, and absolutely fearless._  
_He was the one that even the higher ups feared when he wasn't under control, which is part of the reason they'd kept him brainwashed, his memories wiped and his body frozen. Couldn't have someone with those kinds of abilities using something as dangerous as free will._  
_He stared them both down, taking an instant dislike to the young man beside her, and when he stared into her eyes, assessing her, his intensity made her shiver. His metal hand reached out to lift her chin, obviously so he could get a better look at her. Zara swallowed hard, terrified, but didn't break his gaze for a second, nor did she back off or shy away. There was nothing he could do to her that THEY hadn't already done. Something flickered through his eyes, if Zara didn't know better she'd call it amusement, but it was gone as quick as it came. He stepped back, calling the boy over to spar while the guards watched on in anticipation._  
***  
  
Zara's eyes crunched shut as the memory got hazy, her body tensing as Candice concentrated harder.  
  
***  
_She fought hard and he wasn't going easy on her. The boy was moaning on the ground, bleeding from his eye socket. He'd hit the ground and scary metal arm guy was now after her. Strength wasn't going to beat him, and if she was honest, speed probably wasn't either. He wasn't afraid to hit a girl, her throbbing cheekbone was evidence of that. He kicked her hard, her body flying across the room, her back making contact with the wall. Zara didn't dare move, timing was going to be everything. He swung at her with his metal fist, hard, Zara ducking at the last second. His fist became embedded in the wall, giving her valuable milliseconds to send a fist up hard under his jaw, and her other one into his temple. Hard. He pulled his fist from the concrete, stumbling back and reining his temper in. He gave the door guard a subtle nod and she was dragged from the room._  
  
***  
  
_Gunfire. There was gunfire everywhere, they were at war and she was fighting by his side, backing him up. They crept through the jungle, Zara following his lead, stopping to crouch when he gave her the signal. He turned to her, raising a finger to his mouth to tell her to stay quiet, pulling another gun from his holster and handing it to her. His expression was intense, but not threatening like it had been... There was a strange camaraderie between them. She wouldn't go as far as calling him a friend, or even an acquaintance, really. They never spoke to each other unless giving orders or information, and even then it was short and to the point, no warmth or sentimentality. He was still intense and aggressive, if she was honest he was still terrifying in every sense of the word, but for some reason she felt like they understood each other. The man she only knew as 'The Asset' had her back... And she had his._  
  
***  
  
_They sat together side by side in a concrete room, waiting for their superiors, a gap of a couple of feet between them. She knew better than to get too close. He may have stopped giving her the 'death glare' every time she graced him with her presence, but that was no reason to get complacent. He was still a stone cold killer after all. His eyes glanced over to her subtly as a middle aged man in a suit walked in, his body language tense and angry. They'd failed their mission. Suit man jammed a magazine into his pistol as he came through the door, and without breaking stride held it up to her face, finger on the trigger. Suddenly the Asset leaped to his feet, yanking the gun from the suit guy's hand and kicked him across the room. Zara jumped to her feet, her breath picking up pace to match her thumping heart as panic set in. The Asset shot her a look that could only be described as his own version of worry as a team of soldiers stormed the room. She gasped when his metal arm shot out in front of her, pushing her behind him. What?! He was protecting her now!?_  
_He fought as hard as he could before grabbing her around the wrist roughly, and running like hell with her as the last soldier hit the ground. They made their way down the same corridor they'd come down countless times, The Asset deflecting bullets with his metal arm, protecting them with it like a shield. An explosion was set off in front of them, perhaps from a grenade or something of the like. The gas that escaped from it slowed them down, everything getting hazy. She was scooped up in strong arms as he fought with all his might to keep running, eventually succumbing to it. Then darkness._  
  
***  
  
_Tears poured down her face as she watched them strap him into the chair, adjusting electrodes. He fought against them, requiring several sedatives to make him sit still. His eyes were glued to hers, full of sadness and regret._  
_His screams were gut-wrenching, it was the most excruciating thing she'd ever witnessed. Zara turned, still screaming and fighting in vain to be freed from the shackles that restrained her. A tall, dark haired man in a strike team uniform approached her, a smug smile on his face as he drew his arm back, his fist the last thing she saw._  
  
***  
  
_The man with the metal arm was gone. He'd been wiped, re-programmed and sent back out on another mission. Chaos had broken out at the base, apparently something had gone very, very wrong out in the field. The Asset had escaped, he was a free man. Zara had accepted that she wouldn't see him ever again. Even if she did, he wouldn't know her, anyway. Not even if he looked right at her. She was glad he'd gotten out, and she hoped he'd found solace somewhere. She had no idea what kind of a man he'd be away from Hydra, but it wouldn't be the same person he was here... The words 'replacement' had been uttered by several of the soldiers and assistants. That's when she knew she had to get out, and plans were made with the other recruits._  
  
***  
  
_More chaos, fire, running and explosions. Zara set a detonator, calling out to the others to run, and took off as fast as she could go down the corridor. Her chest burned and her knees ached, but this was life and death, and there were no other options. Talks of them injecting her with the serum had spurred their plan into action early. There was no way she was going through what he went through..._  
_She skidded to a stop, realizing they'd gone down a dead end, panic setting in to the group of them. She was sure they were going to die. Someone called out, and they ran back towards the voice, finding another door which they burst through. She ran for her life, leading the pack when a shuddering explosion shook the building, followed by the roar of a collapse. Zara held her breath, running even harder when she was sent flying by the shock-wave of the bomb. Their tunnel collapsed on top of them... Then there was darkness..._  
  
***  
  
Zara opened her eyes, her breath heaving and her body shaking. Bucky looked into her eyes, as worried as she'd ever seen him as he stepped over and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She didn't know what came over her, she was suddenly hit with a wave of emotion and burst into tears as he held her.  
Bucky shot Candice an angry look, Candice's expression forlorn as she watched Zara fall to pieces in front of her.  
"What did you show her!?" He demanded angrily, helping Zara to her feet as she tried her best to compose herself. Candice pulled a couple of tissues from the box, handing them to Zara when she pulled away from Bucky, still shaken as she blotted her eyes.  
"I showed her how you met..." She said innocently.  
"There was nothing upsetting about our first meeting. We met in a fucking training room!"  
"I'm afraid you didn't" Candice said, bowing her head, understanding the gravity of what she'd uncovered.  
"She was unconscious when I pulled her from the rubble, I hardly class that as a meeting..." He snapped, his attention returning to Zara.  
  
"You tried to protect me, you tried to get us out and they took you down... They strapped you into that chair and I couldn't save you," She said, looking into his eyes as more tears came. She bit her lip and shook her head as she tried to wrap her head around what she'd seen  
  
Bucky's brows were pinched with confusion as he tried to put the pieces together.  
"We didn't meet here at Shield. I met you at the Hydra base when you were... You know, their 'Asset'... We worked together, we looked out for each other... " She said, clearing her throat and wiping her eyes.  
"No way..." He said, a mixture of shock and disbelief as he tried in vain to scour his head for any old memories.  
  
"See for yourself" She said, gesturing at Candice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zara goes out on a mission with Jess that becomes dangerous when she takes a big risk to collect intelligence for Shield against orders. A little light is shed on the Hydra situation as a dangerous foe is revealed. Bit of a set up chapter for the next one, hang in there, guys :D Happy new year to everyone, thanks again for reading xx

  
  
Zara cocked a sideways smile, one eye still looking through the scope of her rifle. She'd been given yet another lecture from Coulson, insisting how she should be out in the field, her good friend Jess Middleton getting wind of it and twisting her arm so to speak. Zara had eventually relented, agreeing to accompany Jess on a reasonably low-key mission.  
She'd been annoyed initially, worrying that it would take up too much of her time. Being out on the field when a fresh lead came up would mean she wouldn't be able to run off to investigate, whereas working in the building had meant she could make up an excuse to split at a moment's notice. She'd eventually come to the conclusion that it may not be such a bad idea, being out might even give her more access to Hydra bases, hideouts and bunkers... Worst case if it hindered her own missions she could always go back, right?  
  
Zara cleared her throat, the icy air making her chest feel tight.  
"How you traveling back there, JJ?" She asked, knowing it would come through the comm device in Jess's ear.  
"Cold and wet." She complained, making Zara giggle to herself, "And don't you dare change the subject, I wanna hear the damn story!"  
  
Zara rolled her eyes, trying not to giggle again.  
"No, he didn't remember anything from Hydra, and neither did I," She explained, picking up the conversation from earlier. "It wasn't like we were in love or anything like that... I mean we weren't even friends."  
"Surely there had to have been something there, you guys didn't hook up on a mission at some stage, huh?" She teased  
"Um... No" Zara chuckled. "Bucky probably would have slit my throat without thinking twice about it back then. When Candice looked into his head, all she saw was violence and death. There were a few flashes of him and I doing a little training, and I mean like one or two sessions, and then a dry run which they said we failed. She couldn't get much detail out, probably because neither of us knew much at the time either. Bucky said that all he got out of it were the same images he'd seen in his dreams a hundred times, and then there was me. He doesn't know what came over him, he just said he had this overwhelming urge to protect me, which is what he tried to do..." She said, her voice trailing off as she felt a lump form in her throat.  
  
"That sucks, Zee..."  
"Tell me about it... He didn't remember me at all because they wiped him, but that doesn't explain why I didn't react to him when I first came to Shield. Candice said she'd sit down with me again, but for now she thinks I most likely just shut it out, accepted that he wasn't the same person and just dealt with it. Could be part of the reason it was so hard for me to integrate into Shield in the early days? I dunno... I guess I just really wasn't in a good place back then, at least we're getting answers why now," She said with a shrug.  
  
Movement at the bottom of the hill caught her eye when a uniformed soldier stepped out of the warehouse in the snow, both girls going quiet as they watched him. Zara's eyes were locked onto the warehouse door which was still slightly ajar, another soldier leaning out to call to the first one. The small room was dimly aglow with computers, the USB hack drive in Zara's possession now seemingly burning a hole in her pocket as her mind went into overdrive.  
The soldier in the door seemed annoyed at the one that was now making his way to one of the black SUV's. He followed him with whatever was in his hand, perhaps a laptop bag or briefcase of some sort? Zara wasn't sure but whatever it was, time was escaping her if she didn't make a move soon.  
The walk to their car parked by the road at the top of the hill would take the soldiers a few minutes up and back, this freed up enough time for her to at least have a peek at that small, blue glowing room. If there were more agents, she'd shoot them. She bit her lip as she mustered the courage to go in.  
  
"JJ, you there?" She tested,  
"Yeah, what's up?"  
"Watch my back, I'm going down for a closer look."  
"No you're not, Zee..."  
"I'm not asking, don't make me pull rank..."She said, rising to her feet, hearing an exasperated sigh through her ear piece.  
"You won't always have the same mission as your colleagues, and when that happens, those missions will often be compartmentalized... This is one of those times." Zara explained with a regretful tone to her voice. She hated having to pull rank, but it was the only thing she could think of doing for Jess to keep her mouth shut to Barnes, and everyone else. Nothing was going to stop her getting a look at that room.  
  
"Got it. I don't like it, but I got it. Be safe, eyes are on you."  
"Thanks JJ. Set your timer. If I'm not out in 5, then leave. No exceptions. I'll contact you if I need to."  
  
  
  
Zara moved quickly, taking the hill at a wide, curving angle as to not leave visible footprints in the snow. She made it all the way to the door, peeking in, and gun drawn. She followed the barrel of her gun into the room, which was small, dark and certainly nothing special, save for the two computers set up on a makeshift table. There were food wrappers and jackets over the back of the chairs, these guys had been here a while by the looks of things. She swallowed hard, glancing at the other door at the back of the room, and made a mental plan as to what she'd do if anyone came through it. Judging by the wet tracks on the floor, people had been in and out of there which only gave her a small window to get what she needed and go.  
She set her gun down on the table beside the computer mouse where she could snatch it up in a hurry, and pulled the hack drive from her pocket. She looked over her shoulders briefly, took a breath and shoved it in the USB port, the screen coming to life as windows opened and were copied at lightning speed. She watched the progress bars on several of the windows loading, as her heart took off at lightning speed. The more she saw come up on the screen the more she thought she was about to have an anxiety attack. Of course it was all top secret stuff, there were folders with labels that caught her eye, 'The Asset', 'Director Ward', and another that came up on several pages was 'Larson'.  
  
_Director Ward!? ... DIRECTOR!?!? Who the fuck is Larson, and why has he been mentioned so much-_  
  
Zara gasped as she picked her gun up, turning the screen off at the same time. One set of footprints she could fight off, but not two, three... Six? More than six?  
  
_Holy hell..._  
  
She yanked the USB from the drive, ducking under the table and hiding their behind a veil of cables as the door was pushed open and a team of soldiers entered the room, walking past her. Zara held her breath, knowing that hiding was the best option, hiding and listening out. She unlocked her phone, flicking it to silent. She'd been in there for three minutes already. She knew once they walked out of there that if Jess was spotted she was as good as dead. She shielded the light of her phone as she punched a text message out.  
  
_Zara Jones 11.57pm_  
_Change of plans, leave now. I'm safe and I'll be right behind you. Z._  
  
A few seconds passed before a reply came through.  
  
_Jess Middleton 11.58pm_  
_I'll do a lap, contact me and I'll come back for you. I'm not leaving. JJ_  
  
_Zara Jones 11.58pm_  
_Leave now. Return to base. That's an ORDER. Stay safe. Z._  
  
_Jess Middleton 11.58pm_  
_Grr... If I don't hear from you within 30 mins, I'm calling reinforcements. Breach or no breach. Over and out. JJ_  
  
Zara rolled her eyes, muttering to herself. 'Just great...'. She clenched her jaw, staying hidden as she opened the app on her phone and started recording what they were saying, daring to lean closer to hear a bit better. There was excitement in the air, and they were all talking over one and other. "Larson..."  
  
There was that name again, who the hell was this Larson guy and why were they talking about him, why did they have files on him that were linked to Bucky's files? Her stomach turned over when she heard the door open, and a very shiny pair of shoes walk out, draped in the hems of a very expensive looking pair of suit pants. Many of the soldiers went quiet, and he was led out with the group.  
Zara glanced down at the USB drive in her hand. She knew she wouldn't get a chance to take any more data from the computer but whatever she'd gotten was bound to be a good start, and more than they were going to get by going down there and watching from the side of the hill.  
She'd have to come up with something to explain why her and Jess got separated, something other than 'I winged it, and sent my only backup away in case SHE was hurt, while I ran into the lair of the beast'... Zara stifled a grin, this was no time for laughing, but here she was, thoroughly amused by the situation. Once again the room was empty and there was movement outside, the door still cracked open a little. She tucked her phone and USB into her pocket, keeping the recording going as she crawled on all fours to the door, holding her breath.  
  
She pulled the gun from the back of her pants as she crouched, peeking out the crack in the door, getting a look at the business-looking guy. He was tall and quite attractive, he was clean shaven and well groomed, sandy brown hair slicked back and his mouth pressed into a hard line. Despite his strong and intimidating appearance overall, his eyes seemed to let him down. There was a tiredness to him, a sadness maybe? Okay maybe not sad, perhaps... Zara couldn't put her finger on it. One of the soldiers handed him a pair of sunglasses to cover them up, anyone would be suspicious of him now, who the hell wore sunglasses at night?  
  
The soldiers dragged someone out in front of him, by the looks of it another soldier, but this guy was shaking, pleading and if she didn't know any better, Zara would say he'd wet himself too. She frowned, watching him as the businessman took his sunglasses back off, looking into his eyes. Like magic the shaking soldier stopped shaking and turned to face him. He pulled a knife from his pocket, held it against his neck, and drew it across his throat.  
  
Zara slapped a hand over her mouth as she held a scream back. The men cheered loudly, giving her the noise cover she needed to dart out of the room and hide down the side of the building in the shadows. Her heart raced at full speed as she tried her best to slow her heaving breath and keep her emotions in check.  
  
_Holy shit... No way... NO FUCKING WAY..._  
  
She put a hand over her chest and jammed her eyes shut, only now noticing the sleet coming down from the dark sky above her. She swallowed hard, focusing on the icy cold droplets, taking deep breaths as her body settled down.  
  
"It really works..." She heard one of them remark.  
"Of course it fucking does... How do you think we almost took Shield out in D.C? We get a few more inhumans, this guy can keep them in control... So long as we keep HIM in control. Much easier, much more effective."  
"And how are we doing that?"  
"That's above your pay grade, soldier."  
"Sorry sir"  
  
Zara looked around, taking in her surroundings and noticed there were more soldiers than she'd first guessed. There was no way in hell she could take on that many, and now that they had Mr Mind-controller with them, things were starting to look bad. As much as she hated to do it, she pulled her phone from her pocket, shielding the screen as she sent a text. There was only one person who could help her as quick as she needed. Only one person who had a mind shield prototype, and only one person who's get her out without losing his shit and killing everyone...  
  
_Zara Jones 12.09am_  
_Stark, emergency. I need urgent extraction. Stealth mode on, mind control shield on. Tell no-one. Need ETA. Trace me. Z._  
  
She closed her eyes, concentrating on her breathing, if she gave herself away she was dead. Or worse. More soldiers came out of the building, bringing computers and gear with them, they were on the move, or about to be at least.  
  
_Tony Stark 12.10am_  
_Got you. Be there in 13 minutes. Sit tight._  
  
_Zara Jones 12.10am_  
_I'm surrounded, contact me when you're near and I'll find a safe way to find you. Z._  
  
  
  
Zara pulled her long hair out of its ponytail and shook it out, thankful that it concealed her face a little. She hugged herself, thinking warm thoughts as she continued to listen to the men around the front of the building. The conversation had died down, all she got from it was that the guy in the business suit was 'Larson' and they expected him to stand out there in the wet while they moved all the tech from the room to a nearby van. She wondered to herself why the hell someone so obviously powerful would allow themselves to be used in such a way. She made a mental note to get in touch with Jessica, the scowly woman she'd met at Luke's bar the other night. She'd apparently had dealings with mind control before, and was a private investigator. Zara wondered to herself if this 'Jessica' was all she was cracked up to be and if she could offer any information. Surely if she'd been on the case of the Hydra mind controllers she'd have something to offer?  
  
She kept the recording going, hopefully anything that she missed could be picked up when her phone was analyzed - which was guaranteed to happen the second she got back.  
  
A glance at her watch told her that eight minutes had passed - although her chattering teeth could have told her that. Only five more to go, tops. She looked around again, feeling gutsy as she peered around the front of the building. Larson was still there, as were four of their soldiers. She was quick to dart back to her hiding spot beside the building as more soldiers came out the front door, with computers in hand.  
Zara's breath hung in the air in front of her as she made her way around to the back of the building, curiosity getting the better of her as she started making getaway plans. When Stark contacted her, she'd have to be ready, and she planned to be. Plus moving was going to keep her warm... The back of the building was lit by a single light globe, hanging from a fitting that looked like it had been on the Earth longer than she had. There were three heavily armed soldiers under it, guarding the door. She peered down at her pistol, and then back up to their assault rifles, deciding against taking them out as she retreated back into the darkness.  
  
_Looks like I'm going straight up that hill, and into the trees. Please, please don't let them see me..._  
  
Her mind took off again at a million miles per hour as it always did when things went pear shaped. She found herself pacing back and forth, stopping in her tracks when she heard someone ask 'did you hear something down the side-way?'. Thankfully they didn't send anyone to investigate and she was safe. She decided to stay still, glancing down at her watch. Two minutes to go. Her phone lit up earlier than it was supposed to, sending a wave of relief over her.  
  
_Tony Stark 12.21am_  
_I'm here, I have a visual. Sit tight, I'm coming to get you._  
  
She looked up and sure enough there was a rustle in the trees as the Iron Man suit came into view, flying straight for her. She stood up and jogged a few steps, reaching up for him. He swooped down, scooping her up, and with a blast of the repulsors they were off again at a sickening pace. Zara screamed out loud before they'd even cleared the hill, suddenly overcome with aggression as she struggled against him.  
"Easy there, Zeejay..." Tony reassured her, but she was having none of it. She pulled her gun from the back of her pants, thumbing the safety off and slamming the butt into the face of his helmet, pulling the trigger as he batted it out of her hand. He restrained her the best he could as she fought against him, trying to wriggle her way free in mid-air.  
  
They flew through the icy air, coming to rest on the top of a building several miles away when he noticed the struggle in her had died down. He set her down on her feet, letting his mask flip up off his face, noticing how wired her eyes were. She was quick to jam them shut, balling her hands into fists and pressing them into her temples as she snarled in pain, tears leaking from her eyes. Tony caught her before she collapsed as she stumbled, still at some sort of turmoil.  
"Zara... ZARA!" He yelled at her, gripping her upper arms to her attention.  
  
Zara gasped, the world becoming a little clearer. Her eyes darted around, jamming shut again as she let out a moan, shaking her head.  
"My head..." she managed to get out... "Larson got into my head... Knock me out... PLEASE" She begged.  
"No, I'm gonna get you home. Come on..." He said, flipping his mask back on as he scooped her up, protectively cradling her head against his chest as they lifted off again.  
"Jesus Christ it hurts so fucking bad..."  
  
"Hang in there, Zeej. We're almost home... Just a few more minutes." 

 

 

Zara's eyes fluttered open when they touched down at Avengers HQ with a thud. She quickly came to the conclusion that she'd passed out during the flight, grateful that she wasn't aware of it. Just as she'd suspected, Barnes was there waiting for her, his face a mixture of worry and anger as he rushed to be by her side. Tony set her down on her feet and steadied her as she found her balance, teeth gritted through the pain of what had become the worst migraine she'd ever felt.

"I'm fine..." She said, raising a hand before Bucky could get a word out.

"Yeah you look it" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "What the hell happened?!" He demanded, checking her over quickly before pulling her in for a tight hug. She shivered against his warm body, letting out a breath of relief, glad to be safe, back in his arms.   
  
"I took a risk tonight..." She  admitted when they pulled apart. "But it paid off. Big time." She added, pulling the USB from her pocket and holding it up.   
"What's on this?" Bucky asked, taking it from her as she held it to him.  
"Answers." She said, pressing her hand to her temple again, taking a deep breath. "I want a meeting scheduled for 0700 tomorrow morning. I learned a lot of important stuff tonight, and everyone needs to hear it."   
"Zeej, you need to rest..." Tony reasoned, despite his own urge to get his hands on that hack drive. 

"I don't care" she snapped. "Schedule it. I want everyone there..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky confronts Zara on her frequent disappearances, and she comes clean about her secret missions to him and the team, much to the annoyance of her teammates. Jessica Jones helps Zara with advice, and lets some important info on Zara's past slip. Things are going to get interesting, next chapter is a biggie! Thanks for reading, Kaytee xx

  
  
Zara closed herself in the bathroom, not wanting to be fussed over, telling Bucky she'd be fine after a hot shower. She leaned on the counter, looking at her reflection, brows creased in pain. Her usually bright blue eyes appeared several shades darker than usual, accompanied by dark rings under her eyes. She was still shivering, her icy wet hair stuck against her pale skin, drawing a contrast against her blue lips. Her skin felt like it was crawling and her head was pounding still.  
When Candice had read her, Zara hadn't felt one bit of pain or dizziness, but this was different. Larson's influence was agony. She doubted very much that this was something a couple of migraine tablets were going to fix. Trying to do good by her, Bucky had run the shower, and left her to it while he ran down to Simmons' office to get her some painkillers  
  
She picked her crumpled pants up off the floor, fishing her phone from the back pocket. With trembling hands, she scrolled through the contacts until she found the one she wanted. The dial tone was harsh against her ear, hell, any sound was agony right now... She found herself impatiently pacing back and forth while waiting for the person on the other end to answer. She rolled her eyes, about to hang up when a husky, tired voice full of annoyance answered.  
"Yeah?"  
Zara frowned, worried she'd called the wrong number.  
"Is this Jessica Jones?" She asked, hesitantly.  
"Depends who's asking..."  
"It's Zara. Zara Jones, I met you at Luke's bar the other night." She said, jamming her eyes shut as she covered them with her hand, trying to block any light out. Her other hand found the light switch, plunging the steam-filled room into darkness.  
  
"Hello?" She tested, after realizing the line had gone quiet. "Are you there?"  
"Yeah I'm here..." Came Jessica's reply, her voice somewhat softer. "What's up?"  
Zara let out a strained, barely audible moan, sliding to the floor with her back against the wall. She took a second to compose herself, her teeth gritted through the pain as she began to speak.  
"What do you know about a mind controller that goes by 'Larson'? Business guy, saw him on the outskirts of New York tonight." She asked, cutting to the chase.  
"The only Larson I know of around here is the attorney Creg Larson. He's the 'son' from Larson & Sons law firm... He's not enhanced as far as we know..."  
"How sure are you? The guy I saw was at a Hydra base we broke into tonight, made a guy slit his own throat. They had him under control, I don't know how..." Zara said, taking a moment to breathe, holding the phone away from her as she did for a moment.  
"6'2, sandy brown hair, good looking, mid to late thirties?"  
"Ugh, shit... Sounds like him. Leave it with me I'll look into it." Jessica said, the sound of paper being torn from a notepad in the background as she wrote the name down.  
"One more thing..." Zara asked, after a few moments of silence. "He tried to get into my head..." She said, swallowing down the lump in her throat as the pain became less and less bearable.  
"Hurts like hell doesn't it?" Came Jessica's sympathetic voice.  
"What do I do?"  
"Distance will break the connection. Get as far away as you can, and don't come home until the pain stops," She explained. "It's like a shitty phone connection, it can only hold on for so long, then you have to dial out again."  
"But what about when I get back, won't he just come after me again?" Zara asked, wiping a few escaping tears from her cheeks.  
"No, he can't get you again until you're right in front of him..."  
"Thanks Jessica."  
"No problem..." Came Jessica's answer, a little hesitation in her voice. "I'll call you tomorrow, ok?"  
"You don't have to do that"  
"Shut up, I'm calling you so you better answer. Look after yourself little Jones..."  
  
Zara sniffed, putting her phone down beside her as she wiped both eyes, letting out a breath. She looked up to see Bucky standing in front of her, even in the dark she could make out his face full of worry. He held out a hand to help her up which she took, very gently pulling her to her feet. He pulled her top off over her head and placing a kiss to her forehead.  
"Get in the shower, I'll get you some dry clothes and then we'll go." He said, keeping his voice soft.  
"How much did you hear?" She asked, her voice a little croaky as he pulled the shower door open.  
"Enough that we'll have something to talk about on the way home. Now get in."  
  
  
  
  
Bucky lifted her into the passenger seat of the quinjet, buckling her in before going around to the other side and pulling himself into the pilot's seat. The doors closed and the engine came to life. Bucky dimmed the cockpit lights and gave her hand a squeeze to make sure she was okay, taking her nod as the cue to lift off and get them into the air. As usual his takeoff was smooth and precise, and she was grateful the flight was fast and uneventful. She glanced over to him between the fingers she had over her eyes, he was so determined, so competent. A smile crossed her lips despite the awful pain she was in, and for that moment all she could think about was how lucky she was.  
"How you doin' ever there, babe?" He asked, sensing her eyes on him. She gave a thumbs up, still not up for talking as they whizzed through the air. He reached over, giving her thigh a squeeze, Zara placing her hand over his in gratitude.  
  
Within minutes, the ringing in her ears settled down and she was finally able to open her eyes, the headache subsiding. She let out a breath of relief, turning to face him as he slowed the jet to a hover. Bucky turned in his seat, taking her face in his hands , his eyes searching hers for any trace of anything unusual. A small smile crossed his lips, Zara letting herself smile as well as he pressed his lips to hers.  
"Are you okay?" He asked, "Your eyes look clearer..."  
"Yeah I think I am, thanks so much for getting me out of range... Even after I pissed you off..."  
  
Bucky let out a breath, shaking head a little as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.  
"Zara, I'd do anything for you. Any time, any day. You know that. No matter how crazy you make me, I'll always be there for you. Every single time. No matter what. Got it?" He said, in an almost scolding tone, making her blush a little as he glared into her eyes to drive his point home. Zara nodded a little sheepishly, part of her felt like crying for some reason she couldn't put her finger on.  
"And while we're on the subject... There's nothing you couldn't tell me, no matter how mad you think I'd get. If you're in trouble, I can't protect you if you don't talk. If something happened to you, and I didn't know..." He trailed off, looking away for a moment. He swallowed hard before he could continue.  
  
"It's not easy for me to let people in. You know that. I love you, Zara. So god damned much... That's a huge deal whether you know it or not-"  
"Believe me, Bucky, I know. I love you too, you know that, right?"  
"Then why all the secrecy? Where are you running off to every other week? What are you upto?"  
"Bucky, you can trust me. It will all pay off-  
"What? What's gonna pay off?"  
  
Zara closed her eyes, letting out a breath and bracing herself a little.  
"I've been following Hydra activity and chasing Ward. I have a few solid leads, and I've come close a few ti-"  
"No" He cut her off, controlling the anger in his voice. "I don't want you anywhere NEAR Ward-"  
"This is exactly why I didn't tell you, I knew you'd flip out!"  
"This is NOT me flipping out... What kind of guy would I be if I was happy for my girl to walk out into a fucking battle zone, huh?"  
"The kind of guy who's girl is a fucking Shield Agent, that's who. I can handle myself, Barnes, and it's time you understood that."  
"I understand that damn well, Zara! Christ! Rogers and I don't even go into Hydra Bases alone, and we're SUPER SOLDIERS! You're a tiny, 110 pound girl - who can fight, sure, but up against someone like me, you wouldn't stand a fucking chance." He said, realizing his hands had balled into fists at the thought.  
"Don't you think I know that?" She snapped, daring to make eye contact with him. "You could snap me like a twig without raising a sweat. That's the whole point."  
"What's the whole point!? You're on a suicide mission, is that it!? Or you think I'm going to hurt you!?"  
"God damn it Bucky, I'm on a protection mission!"  
  
Bucky let out a single 'ha!' leaning back on his chair as though he'd had enough of the conversation.  
"Right. And who the hell are you protecting, running into the clutches of Hydra alone, huh?"  
"I'm protecting YOU! They have mind controllers working for them. One of which I had the displeasure of running into tonight. If one of them sinks their hooks into me, I can be stopped. You, Rogers, Banner, or anyone else can't." She said, watching his expression change from angry to thoughtful as he took the information in.  
  
"It's not like I'm running into bases, guns blazing. I have contacts all over, I have people watching the airports and the roads. I have people watching the internet, and I even have contacts at the morgues... I've broken into computer systems with the help of a few tech friends, and snuck into warehouses. I have friends away from Shield that are enhanced that are on the trail as well... I've GOT this." She said, determination in her voice.  
"I still don't understand why you couldn't tell me, Zee..."  
"Because you would have stopped me... And this is too damned important." She said, reaching over to take his hand, letting his fingers interlock with hers. "You're too important" She added.  
"Of course I would have stopped you. I'M supposed to protect YOU, not the other way around.  
"It's not the forties anymore, Buck... It doesn't work like that anymore."  
  
Bucky let out an exasperated breath, leaning over to kiss her, his metal hand tucking her loose hair behind her ear as he did.  
"Call me old school, but I don't care what year it is. I don't like you risking yourself for me, we both know I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you..." He said, his voice soft, "If we do this, we do it as a team. Okay?"  
"You'd do the same for me, Buck..." She said, biting her lip. "I just don't want you near them, it scares the shit out of me just thinking about it..."  
"Well it scares the shit out of me thinking of you walking into their clutches, and nobody being there to help you." He said, squeezing her hands in his, his eyes full of worry.  
"Bucky Barnes doesn't get scared."  
"Oh yes he does..." He said, his 'no nonsense' expression on. Zara nodded, letting out a long breath.  
"Okay fine. How about we make a deal?"  
"I'm listening."  
"You stay away from Hydra, and I keep you informed of anything I find out. And if I need to go somewhere, I keep you in the loop with the details..." She said, arching a brow thoughtfully.  
"I can't guarantee I can stay away from Hydra, Zee.... If they show up while I'm on a mission-"  
"-Just promise me you'll try. If you know there's a mind controller, you get the hell outta there..." She said, looking into his eyes, her expression very serious. Bucky nodded, leaning over to kiss her, stroking her cheek with his thumb.  
  
Bucky straightened up, turning back in his seat to face to front again, Zara doing the same. They buckled themselves back in as Bucky reached up, flicking a few overhead switches, getting ready to fly back.  
"So who's Jessica?" He asked as they got moving.  
  
  
  
The morning came quickly, Zara was glad to have gotten a few hours sleep. She woke up in Bucky's arms, they'd held each other a little tighter than usual during the night, both worried about the other, given the lengthy talk they'd had in the jet, and then back at the room. Bucky woke up when she stirred, still on high alert, even in his sleep. She stroked his brow with her thumb, a small smile crossing his lips. She propped herself up to kiss him, that worried look still lingering in his eyes which he was quick to shake off as soon as he realized she'd noticed.  
  
The meeting was pretty uneventful. Zara got up in front of all of them, ignoring her nerves and explained what she'd been doing over the past few months, and what she'd discovered. Most of them were happy to get new intel, no matter how it came about. Coulson had been angry at her, and Steve had shot Bucky a look, which Bucky had waved off. To her surprise, Tony had been quite angry at her, unashamed to have a go at her in front of the others for putting herself in danger. She shot Bucky a look, annoyed at him for nodding in agreement with Tony. She was quick to tell them all to get over it, and move onto the whole point of the meeting, which was Larson.  
Zara had brought in the USB drive from the night before, handing it to Tony who had its contents projected on a holographic screen in front of them all.  
  
Jessica had been right, it was Creg Larson, the attorney. Interestingly, as he'd been a big supporter of the superhero registration act that was still in discussion. He'd gone missing a couple of months later, and his father had put out a huge campaign, looking for him. Rewards were offered, his picture had been plastered all over the city, adds on television, the works. Yet here he was, a 'gifted' and off working with Hydra, who he had always openly despised... Zara made a mental note to pass this information onto Jessica as soon as she could.  
  
The meeting concluded with Tony promising to get started on more mind control shields. He'd have to design them in such a way that their team members could wear them out on the field. Tony's had been built into his helmet, so the extra weight hadn't mattered. He was going to need to streamline these, and get them made asap. Now that Hydra were stepping their game up, so must they. The news that Ward had taken the reins at Hydra came as no surprise to Coulson, who was now even more determined to take him down. It was decided then and there that as soon as the mind devices were finalized, they'd launch an attack.  
Zara swallowed hard, suddenly feeling a little sick on hearing Coulson declare war. War was never fun, especially when there was so much at stake and the risks were so much higher...  
  
  
  
Zara walked out of the meeting stressed, feeling responsible for causing such a declaration.  
  
_If only I'd kept my mouth shut and not told them about Larson... I've probably just sentenced half of my friends to death or injury... But then again Tony wouldn't be making brainwave thingies for everyone... I suppose they'll be okay, they usually are, right?_  
  
She let out a breath, deciding it was ultimately for the best. She pulled her phone out, scrolling through the contacts and hit Jessica's number, putting the phone to her ear as she stepped into an empty room, Bucky closing the door behind them as he followed her in.  
"Little Jones..." Came Jessica's tired voice.  
"Hey... So, I found out that Larson is THE Larson. The lawyer, Creg."  
"I thought as much, I was up half the night reading about him. I figured he matched your description, AND there was all that crap about him going missing, it fit. Funny that he should pop up now with Hydra and suddenly he's got abilities. I read that he suffers from an acute case of Osteoarthritis."  
"...What's Osteoarthritis got to do with having super powers."  
"Fish oil."  
"Huh?"  
"Jones, are you living under a rock?" Jessica asked, "There were fish oil caps that were found to be contaminated, causing mutations to be triggered in some people. Heaps of people died? It was all over the news?"  
"I DID tell you I spent 6 months as a mindless zombie assassin and then another three or four months not knowing who I was? Pretty sure I wasn't up to date with world events..." Zara sassed.  
"Noted. Google it." Jessica said back, her tone somewhat short. "Pretty sure that's what happened to him, how he ended up at Hydra I have no idea, but I'm working on it. Ten bucks says they found out what his power was, and offered him 'refuge', AKA, a nice big tube of Propofol and a concrete cell."  
Zara nodded, chuckling despite herself, her eyes darting over to Bucky who was listening in from his side of the room and nodding in agreement.  
"Definitely sounds plausible!" She said with a relieved smile.  
  
"So when are you down my way again?" Jessica asked after a longish pause. Zara shot a look over to Bucky who shook his head as if to tell her it wouldn't be any time in the near future. She guessed that with all these new revelations, that sticking nearby the base was probably in her best interests. She hadn't had a one on one chat with Coulson, which was inevitable given how annoyed he'd been at her.  
"Um... Probably not any time soon. I think staying close to home is the best option, given the circumstances..." She said regretfully.  
"Really? ...Shit." Came her hushed voice through the speaker as if she'd pulled the phone away from her face before she'd cursed.  
  
"Why, what's wrong?" Zara asked, frowning a little with intrigue.  
"Oh no, nothing. I'd just looked up some stuff and have some info on your past that you may want to know. I wanted to talk to you about it, and ask you a few questions... In person" Came Jessica's hesitant voice.  
"What kind of things?"  
"You know what, never mind. I'll talk to you when I see you..."  
"Jessica! What kind of things about my past!?"  
"About your parents, your Dad especially."  
"My Dad was a piece of shit, and he's dead anyway. I know because I killed him." Zara said, venom in her voice now. There was more silence on the other end of the line, Zara letting out a breath of exasperation, her father was the last person she wanted to discuss.  
  
"It was you?" Jessica asked, shock in her voice. "YOU were the one who murdered Brian Jones!?"  
"My Dad's name was Donald, not Brian. I was under Hydra's influence when it happened... But I'm not sorry, not one bit..."  
"Before 1991 he was Brian-"  
"What!?"  
  
There was another long pause on the line, Zara growing sick of the dramatics quickly.  
"Hello?" She said, annoyance in her voice as she rolled her eyes.  
"He faked his dea-" She started, stopping short to take a breath, "You know what, I gotta go. Take care, Zara"  
  
The line went dead, Jessica hanging up without letting Zara answer her. Zara growled loudly with frustration, hurling her phone angrily across the room, Bucky reaching out and catching it effortlessly with his flesh hand.  
  
"What the hell was that all about? Before 1991 he was Brian? Seriously!?" Zara ranted, her brain flustered. She didn't need this, not today. "And why the hell did she go all weird, she knew I was an assassin. It's not like I killed HER Da-" She stopped short, cutting herself off with a hand over her mouth...  
  
"Holy shit..."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been so slack updating, here's a short one to tide you all over. A bit of action here, lots of action in the coming chapters! Thanks for all the kudos, I've noticed a few new readers going back to read the other two installments and I appreciate it heaps. Thanks for all the lovely inbox messages too, you guys rock!  
> Luv Kaytee xoxoxo

  
  
Zara kept her breathing quiet and controlled as she turned, looking down the long, dark hallway, pistol in hand. She kept close to the wall, walking slowly with her gun barrel leading the way. She came to a door, much like the long line of others, only this one was ajar. She paused, tucking the loose strands behind her ear. A quick look over her shoulder told her the corridor was clear, and she proceeded, keeping cool, calm and collected as she nudged the door open and ensured the room was clear.  
  
She wished she had a bigger team with her when her eyes adjusted to the dim light, the room full of computers and filing cabinets. She pulled the hack drive from her pocket, turning the nearest computer to her on as she did a clean sweep of the room.  
"Room 19, fifth floor clear. Computer lab, hacking the system..." She said quietly into a small speaker on her wristband as the computer finally came to life.  
  
The hardware in the room was obviously out of date by several years, how business this building once ran lasted so long was absolutely astounding. The little blue light on the USB drive lit up as she jammed it in, the computer screen coming to life as it hacked into the system and saved any useful data. Zara poked around the room in the meantime, opening filing cabinets and finding most of the information in there was useless, business related crap. She let out another breath, another useless stakeout, but at least nobody got killed or shot at this time around.  
"Building clear" Came the voice in her ear, filling her with an instant surge of relief. She stepped away from the window, heading back over to the computer, keeping her gun at the ready just in case. You could never be too careful. The blue light on the USB changed to a soft orange, Zara pulling it out quickly on hearing someone approaching. She backed herself in behind one of the cabinets, gun up as per her training and watched as the person stepped into the room.  
"Hey there..." She whispered quietly, a smile forming on the face of the man in the shadows. She stepped out, lowering her gun and tucked the hack drive into her pocket as she made her way to the door.  
"Hey" Bucky said, flashing her a smile before he turned to check the corridor. Zara followed him out, looking over her shoulder to watch both their backs as they made their way quickly and quietly down the long hallway. They came to a stop in front of an elevator door, Bucky effortlessly pulling it open with his metal arm. Zara felt her heart skip a beat, her eyes locking onto the indent in the solid metal door that his hand had left. It was easy to forget he was so powerful as he rarely showed his strength at home.  
  
He grabbed her around the waist, wanting to get out of the building quickly as he jumped down the empty elevator shaft, grasping the cable with his metal hand to slow them before they touched down. Zara let go of him, holding her gun up to protect them as his hand shot out to rip the bottom floor door open. The underground parking lot was empty and totally dark, save for the faint glow of the street lamps coming in through the mesh around the top of the wall.  
She followed Bucky's lead, heading over to the west side of the building where he pulled open a locked shutter door and held it up long enough for them both to get under before dropping it behind them.  
  
The car was parked around the corner a couple of blocks away which didn't take them long to get to. Much to Zara's amusement, Bucky checked it over quickly, glancing under it as well before he unlocked it.  
"Can't be too careful..." He murmured as they slid into their seats. Zara reached over and locked her passenger door out of habit, and as she turned to buckle her seat belt, she noticed Bucky looking at her with a cocked brow.  
"What? Can't be too careful..." She said with a shrug. Bucky let out a 'pfft' and chuckled as he started the car and pulled out onto the road.  
  
Zara reached under her seat, pulling Bucky's laptop from its hiding spot and opened it up. Bucky shot her a slightly shocked look when she not only knew it was there, but correctly guessed the password.  
"I know all your secrets..." She whispered with a wink, making him roll his eyes. She jammed the USB into the slot and ran a scan to see what was on the drive.  
What are you doing?"  
"I'm just taking a little peek before Shield does" She said, her eyes scanning the screen as it lit up with information. Bucky pursed his lips in disapproval, but she ignored him and kept reading, a grin forming on her face when she found what she wanted. She opened the folder, reading its contents. Transcriptions of calls and last known mission locations. Zara looked over at him and bit her lip mischievously.  
  
"What...?" Bucky asked with caution.  
"How much ammo do you have on you?"  
"Enough to wipe out a small town, why?"  
"Take this next left" Zara said, pointing up ahead.  
"Why?"  
"Just take it!"  
  
Bucky screwed his face up, taking the turn somewhat aggressively, shooting an annoyed look over to Zara as he accelerated up the street.  
"Talk, Zee. Right now."  
"Calm down. There's a warehouse a few blocks up, the address came up a few times on their system. I wanna check it out."  
  
Bucky let out an exasperated breath and pursed his lips, not being a big fan of surprises, or unplanned missions of any sort. He nodded, despite himself and followed the directions she gave him, pulling into an industrial estate.  
"Why is it almost always night time when we do these things?" Zara complained as she checked all her weapons.  
"It's not night time, it's four thirty" Bucky argued. Zara cocked her head at him.  
"It will be dark in half an hour, you know what I meant." She said, rolling her eyes. Bucky stifled a chuckle as he reached out, taking her wrist to stop her as she went to get out of the car.  
"I know this was your idea, but we do it by my rules. I lead, you follow." He said, a serious look on his face. Zara swallowed and nodded, knowing better than to argue with him.  
"Got it" She said.  
  
They stepped out of the car, closing the doors behind them quietly. They both flicked the safeties off their handguns and made their way quickly towards the building, their feet crunching in the ice. They slowed when they approached the side door, Bucky putting an arm out to remind her to stay behind him which she did. He glanced over his shoulder giving her a nod which she returned before he snuck through the iron door.  
  
It never ceased to amaze Zara just how quiet Bucky could be when he wanted to. For such a big guy he was surprisingly quick and light on his feet, with the stealth of a cat. It made her self-conscious of her own footsteps which she made an extra effort to lighten. She followed Bucky through the dark warehouse, keeping cool and calm, following the barrel of her gun, regularly checking behind them. Bucky's arm shot out again to stop her in her tracks, pushing her against the wall quietly as he listened hard. Zara looked at him puzzled, suddenly hearing what he had a few seconds later as their eyes both shot up to the door they'd just come through. Bucky crouched, pulling her down with him as the overhead lights were turned on and a couple of carloads of people came through the front door. She looked up at him, grateful that he'd already come up with a plan of action, but slightly concerned that he was screwing a silencer onto the end of his pistol. He threw one to her and she wasted no time kitting her gun up and following him to the next nearest door, staying hidden behind the piles of conveniently placed machinery.  
  
_Awesome idea, Zara... Awesome._  
  
She shook her head, scolding herself as she followed him, approaching another door and quietly slipping through.  
  
_Shit..._  
  
They found themselves in a small room with some giant machine, but at least they were alone. Bucky's eyes darted around the room, up to the roof and then back at her. Zara swallowed hard.  
"I'm so sorry, Bucky..." She whispered with regret in her voice.  
"Don't worry about it" he said to her as if it was no big deal, pointing to a vent in the roof. She nodded, once again surprised at how relaxed he was in such a situation. He reached up, feeling the machine for heat and testing its strength before climbing it. Zara furrowed her brows, following him when he gestured to her that it was safe.  
He pushed at the grate on the roof, and pulled himself up into the opening, again checking that it was safe. He reached down to pull her up after him, and once they were both in the roof duct, Zara carefully replaced the grate and followed him again on all fours. They were careful not to make a sound as they moved through what turned out to be some sort of an air conditioning duct, thankful that it was turned off on such a cold night.  
  
Bucky put his hand out to stop them as he peered down through the next grate before they crossed it. He turned to Zara who was rubbing her hands together for warmth, breath hanging in the air.  
"You okay?" He mouthed, Zara nodding in reply, giving him a smile. Bucky frowned a little, the way he always did when he was thinking, absent-mindedly biting his lip for a few seconds as he looked down the grate and back to her.  
"Don't look down as we go over the grate, okay?" He whispered, leaning in close to her.  
"We're up high aren't we?"  
  
Bucky smiled softly, leaning over to give her a kiss. Zara let a breath out and nodded to him, shaking any trace of nerves off.  
"You're lucky you have a cute butt..." She said.  
"Yours is cuter. Stay close" He whispered, giving her a wink which gave her butterflies in her stomach.  
  
Zara kept her eyes on Bucky as he crawled ahead on her, moving carefully over the metal grate. She couldn't help herself, sneaking a glance down as she crossed it, immediately regretting it. She kept moving without missing a beat, ignoring the fact her stomach had twisted into the world's tightest knot and she was sure she'd either cry or be sick. Her heart started racing and felt her body trembling a little. She clenched her jaw shut, hard, as they pressed on.  
They were a long way up, the warehouse hadn't looked that big from the outside, unless it was her mind playing tricks on her...  
  
_Yes, definitely just a trick. It's not that high at all! ... Just your eyes, it's all good- Oh shut up, brain!_  
  
The height bothered her more than the men did in the room, there had to have been at least 20 of them, possibly more. All uniformed and working hard. Some were crowded around a map, others were in front of portable computer setups, and some were just standing around with guns looking scary. She was suddenly glad Bucky was with her.  
  
They pressed on, the end of the duct in sight. Zara let out an inward sigh of relief, she'd be glad to get out of there. Her relief was cut suddenly short when the metal underneath them made a clunk as it gave way and the panel in front of her snapped from its support strut, dropping from the roof with Bucky in it.  
  
Zara let out a gasp, reaching out in vain, hoping to catch him around the ankle or something. She watched in horror as he leaped from the falling piece of tunnel and started shooting like crazy. Zara pulled her gun from her holster, holding it up with furiously trembling hands and began firing shots, thinning out the number of opponents he had.  
She stifled a scream as bullets ricocheted off the metal walls around her as they began firing at her. She was cornered and there was nothing she could do about it. She kept shooting, watching as Bucky tried to keep the heat off her.  
"Zara, JUMP!!!" He called up to her desperately as he ran underneath her.  
  
_There's no fucking way I'm jumping-_  
  
Her thoughts were cut off by a loud bang, the front half of the duct she was in dropped violently. She gasped in terror, her hands sliding down its metal sides before she realized she was falling. Panic gripped her in mid-air as she dropped like a stone from the height of the roof, landing in strong arms with an 'oof'. She was set down on her feet in half a second, a metal arm reaching over her shoulder, firing three shots from a high powered handgun. Zara turned her body facing his, and peered under his raised arm. She held her gun up, not needing to crouch much and took two soldiers out from behind them. She glanced up, making brief eye contact with Bucky before he grabbed her hand and they ran towards the roller door at the rear of the building, ducking as more shots were fired behind them.  
"Pick me up!" Zara called, Bucky swinging her over his shoulder without breaking stride as he ran. She took the rifle that was strapped to his back, hit the safety, pumped it once and held it up, and shot. Another six soldiers went down, Zara reloaded, taking ammo from his belt as he smashed his way out the door.  
  
"STOP!" Zara called after a gasp, holding the gun back up again as she locked onto a target.  
"Not a chance!" Bucky called back. She held the gun up, firing shots desperately, frustrated that she was too far away.  
"Let me go, it's Ward!" She yelled, struggling against him as his grip tightened and he picked his pace up. "God-damn it Bucky!"  
  
He didn't stop running till they were back at the car, setting her down beside the passenger door. She threw the rifle down, shoving him in the chest hard with both hands. Bucky grit his teeth, anger flashing across his face as he turned and shoved her against the car, holding her there.  
"What's WRONG with you!?" She demanded, furious. "He was right THERE!"  
"Nothings' wrong with me, I just saved both of our lives!" He snarled back, releasing her. She picked up the rifle, looking over her shoulder for a moment, Bucky snatching it back off her.  
"Don't even think about it. Get in the car."  
  
Zara let out a frustrated breath, sliding into the passenger seat, both of them slamming their doors. Bucky started the car, driving off faster than he knew she liked. Zara buckled her seat-belt, looking over at him. He looked mad.  
"We could have taken him out..." She said, annoyed.  
"At what cost, Zara? Don't you think I want him dead just as bad as you!?" He snapped, shooting her a glare. "We were way outnumbered there. I can't fight and protect you at the same time."  
"Oh Christ, Bucky. I can defend myself, we've been over this"  
"You have NO idea what you're talking about" He came back, his voice raised and aggressive. His face suddenly softened a little, regretting his tone a little which made Zara soften as well.  
  
"So if we had a bigger team you would have stayed?" She asked, watching him take a breath to compose himself.  
"Absolutely. As I said, I want him dead, just not at the cost of either of our lives. Especially not yours" He said, Zara nodding in agreement.  
"Well while they're all there, why not call in re-enforcement's? We've been chasing him for months and now here he is..." She said. Bucky frowned, gearing down and grabbing the handbrake as he spun the wheel. Zara gasped and hung onto her seat as the car spun to face where they'd come from. He looked over at her with a smug smile.  
  
"You're right... Make the call"  
  
  
  
  
It didn't take Zara long to round the troops up. They wouldn't have the element of surprise on their side, but they'd have the Avengers. Well, most of the Avengers, she was still yet to meet Thor.  
She gave Luke and Jessica a call to let them know it was all going down, glad that Jessica was in a much friendlier mood than last week. They weren't going down there as Tony had only made up enough mind-shields for their team, but Jessica was quick to wish them luck, and eager to hear how it all went.  
  
"Hey Bucky?" Zara said, turning to him in the dark car as they sat waiting for the others to arrive.  
"What's up?"  
"Sorry about before. I shouldn't have lost my temper, I know you were only looking out for us..." She said, feeling bad. He gave her a smile and shook his head.  
"Don't worry about it. You had good reason to be mad. Maybe I worry a little too much sometimes?" He offered with a shrug. "Nothings' more important to me than you... I guess you're my weakness"  
Zara chuckled, Bucky joining in with her briefly before she leaned over to kiss him. Her lips lingered on his a little longer than usual, his hand tightening around her thigh as her heart began to race.  
"You need a bigger car..." She said, biting her lip. They both peered into the back seat, bursting into laughter together.  
"My car's fine..."  
"There's no way we'd both fit back there, look at the size of you!" She chuckled.  
"It's a GTO coupe, it's not made for THAT..." He said, mock scolding her. "That's why I have a king sized bed, although we could prop the front seat back..." He added thoughtfully. Zara giggled, glancing at the time on the dashboard.  
"I wouldn't wanna rush it... When we get back home tonight?"  
"It's a date" He grinned, making his eyes sparkle. Zara smiled, letting out a sigh.  
"How the hell did I get so lucky?" She said, leaning back over to kiss him again. "You're so gorgeous..."  
  
Bucky let out a chuckle in between kisses.  
"We've had this discussion. I'm the lucky one." He said.  
"No you're not. I'm a pain in the ass"  
"I have a short fuse" He argued back.  
"I don't follow instructions"  
"I'm... half bionic"  
"Oh shut up" She scolded him. "I happen to think your arm is hot. It's totally badass"  
  
They both laughed again, only stopping when a motorbike caught Bucky's attention as it roared up behind them. He started the car, putting it into first. It was definitely Steve's bike, without a shadow of a doubt. He planted his foot, making the V8 engine of the car roar as it took off. The bike caught up by the time they were in fourth gear, Steve giving them a nod when they made eye contact. A flash of light flew over them, bringing a smile to Zara's face when she realized it was Tony. The others were coming in a quinjet and were probably above them in stealth mode.  
The warehouse loomed up ahead of them, Zara's nerves resurfacing with a mixture of excitement as they got closer and closer.  
  
"Not parking around the corner again?" She asked, looking over at Bucky as he pulled the car up.  
"They know we're here now. May as well get a good parking spot up close" He said with a confident wink. He reached over to the glove compartment, yanking it open and pulling out another handgun.  
"Take this" He said, handing it to her.  
"I have guns..."  
"You can never have too many" He said, not letting go as she took it, pulling her towards him one more time before they went in.  
  
"Stay safe, okay? I love you" He said planting a kiss on her lips.  
"You too, Buck. Love you more."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, had a couple of days off so thought I'd better do an update. HUGE chapter, lots of action, violence, and things get a bit heavy. Strap yourselves in...

  
  


Bucky looked over at Steve and Zara as he slipped his mind-shield on. Tony had designed them in a hurry, they weren't anything flash to look at, but they'd do the job with a bit of luck. They sat much the same way a comms device or a set of headphones would, although much more streamline. All three shields were activated and ready to go.  
"Is it just us four?" Bucky asked, raising a brow quizzically as he looked at both Steve and Tony.  
"That's right, Buckaroo. Why, you scared?" Tony stirred, earning an annoyed look in return. Bucky let out an exasperated sigh, wasting no time in pulling his favorite handgun from its holster and aggressively slamming a fresh magazine into it, maintaining eye contact.  
  
Gunfire interrupted their little exchange, Bucky pulling Zara hard against him as he wheeled around and fired shots at their assailants, all three men dropping to the ground. Zara let out a breath of relief, flicking the safety off her gun and stepping out of his grip.  
"Thanks, babe" she said only loud enough for him to hear as she pulled back the bolt on her gun, readying it. He gave her a nod in response, now in 'serious soldier-Bucky mode'.  
"Let's do this" he said, the others springing into action and running ahead of them. He reached out to grab Zara around the bicep before she took off after them. "Stay safe, okay?"  
"Got it"  
"I mean it, we do the job and get out. No heroics." He said, his expression soft but a warning tone to his voice. Zara nodded, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him in for a kiss, which was rougher and more desperate than she'd meant it to be. He gave her a grin which she returned before they both took off towards the warehouse door.  
  
They were surrounded by gunfire and soldiers, apparently they weren't the only ones who'd called for re-enforcement's. The four of them split up, each taking a corner of the warehouse. Zara kept shooting until she was out of ammo, pulling her second gun from her holster without missing a beat. In the minute or two since they'd arrived, the numbers had thinned out considerably which was already a huge relief. She ducked down behind a set of scaffolding to survey the area, making a decision of where to head next. She pulled a stick of gum from her pack by her teeth as she reloaded her guns, eyes still scanning as she chewed.  
  
She was interrupted by a noise behind her, apparently someone thought they could sneak up on Zara Jones... They were about to find out how wrong they were. She grinned as she turned to face him, taking a swipe at his face with the butt of her pistol. He caught her around the wrist, stopping her, Zara grabbing him by his vest and pulling herself into him, and drawing her knee up. Hard. His eyes widened, and before he could react, Zara flipped him onto his back at lightning speed and delivered a shot with the gun in her opposite hand.  
"Suck on that..."  
  
She made a mental note to be a little more careful, running towards the new group of soldiers that were coming through the door at the opposite side of the room. The side where she'd seen Ward less than 15 minutes earlier. She held her guns up, shooting them at the same time, flipping through the air as she ran to avoid bullets coming her way. She shoved her guns in their holsters as she ran, taking a flying leap up the next set of scaffolding, grabbing the bar above her head and flipping herself up to the next level, drawing her guns again as she landed. She ducked behind a pile of junk as she surveyed the room from the height she was at, trying her best to ignore the 'I'm not a huge fan of being up here' gurgling her stomach was making.  
  
Bucky was his usual, ruthless self, taking them out as quick as they came, working as a perfect tag team with Steve.  
  
_Note to self: don't ever play Frisbee with these two..._  
  
Tony was back outside again, explosions lighting up the night sky which could now be seen through a huge hole in the roof. Zara took a moment to breathe, only just realizing she was puffing.  
"How you traveling, Zee?" Came Bucky's voice through her earpiece.  
"There are more coming, I have a pretty good view from up here. I'm going to see if I can get to the sub level on the north side. I can take 'em out from above that way." She said as she looked around for a way to get there from where she was. "Keep the heat off me, I'm jumping for it"  
  
Before Bucky could tell her not to, she ran as hard as she could, stepping up onto the railing and taking a flying leap towards the metal railing on the catwalk opposite her. It was one of those moments that went in slow motion, her fingers desperately stretched out as she flew, something below her exploding, but her ears were ringing too much to make out exactly what was going on.  
As her hands made contact with the railing she felt her fingers slip, only a mixture of sheer desperation and pure dumb luck helping her as she lost grip of the top railing and managed to somehow catch herself on the bottom one.  
Zara pulled herself up without wasting time, her stomach feeling nauseous at the thought of almost plunging to the ground. She shook it off, running across the mesh catwalk above the roller door, looking down.  
  
"Jesus Christ..." She breathed out loud as her eyes locked onto someone she was hoping not to see again, "Fire in the hole!" She called as she pulled the pin from her only grenade and tossed it through the roller door as she took off running again. She looked up to make eye contact with Tony, in time for him to swoop down and pick her up as the explosion shook the warehouse. He dropped her down beside the super soldiers, landing beside them.  
"We're outnumbered" Steve said, worry in his face. Bucky and Zara nodded, Tony the only one not agreeing.  
"More are on their way. They're like, two minutes away." Tony said.  
"Better hope it's a quick 2 minutes then..." Bucky sneered as he reloaded his gun, Zara raising hers to take another few soldiers out.  
"Let's keep moving" She said, the others nodding.  
  
This time Bucky and Zara moved off together, working effortlessly as a team to take down as many soldiers as they could as they made their way over to the designated 'safe zone' behind the scaffolding.  
"They just keep coming..." Zara puffed as they crouched together, Bucky glancing at his watch. "It's like a fucking war zone" She added, taking a much needed breath.  
"If this team doesn't arrive, I'm getting you out of here." He said, turning to her with that worried look on his face that she didn't like.  
"I'm fine, Buck" She smiled, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I was born to-"  
"I'm not asking." He snapped, in his no-nonsense voice. Zara nodded, swallowing her pride. After all, he'd seen enough war and death to know when it was time to fall back, and she, in essence, was still technically pretty new to all this.  
  
Zara put her hand out, gentle pressing at Bucky's chest, giving him the cue to step back as more soldiers filled the room. They exchanged a glance as Tony bore through the crowd in his suit, knocking soldiers flying like bowling pins. Steve's shield flew through the air, taking many of them out, before landing back in his hand and being flung again.  
"Stay here, I'm going in" Bucky said, tilting her chin to plant a quick kiss on her lips as he ran into the battle-zone again. Zara nodded, knowing this one was above her limits, instead radioing Shield to find out where their backup was.  
  
Zara barely had time to gasp with fright as the scaffolding she was crouched behind was smashed into violently. She leaped up from her spot and ran like hell as the whole thing came crashing down, Bucky running towards her at super soldier speed. He scooped her up and kept running, the huge lengths of metal piping landing with an almighty crash, just missing them. He skidded to a stop somewhere in the middle of the room beside Steve and set her down.  
"Gotcha" He said, giving her a wink that made her cheeks dust pink.  
  
Bucky wheeled around, glancing at the pile of rubble as he picked up where he left off, fighting soldiers off, Zara joining in not far behind him.  
"Where the hell is Stark!?" He called out from somewhere in the middle of the pack, him and Zara thinning it right out between the two of them. "STEVE!? WHERE IS STARK!?"  
  
Their backup finally arrived just in time, Banner already 'suited up' as it were, a grin on his big green face as he proceeded to rip the place apart. Tony was still nowhere to be seen, it becoming evident that he was the one who'd crashed through the scaffolding.  
  
_Tony doesn't just crash... Oh my god, what the HELL!?_  
  
"BUCKY LOOK OUT!" Zara screamed out. Bucky turned in time to catch Steve's shield in his metal hand in the split second before it hit him in the head, the look on Steve's face making him feel utterly sick.  
"Zara, RUN!" He called back, turning to face her, fear in his eyes. She stood, heart racing, shell-shocked and mouth open for a moment, not quite sure whether to do as she was told or help him. She knew damn well she couldn't take down a super soldier.  
"NOW!!" He roared at her, snapping her back into action as the two went head to head, Bucky trying to take him down. Zara ran over to try and find Tony, her eyes locking onto Larson as she ran.  
  
_The fucking mind shields don't work... Holy shit..._  
  
She pulled some of the piping away, the whole structure groaning and threatening to fall, gunfire coming at her which she returned. She spotted Tony trapped under the pile of debris, sparks coming from his suit as it malfunctioned.  
"Tony don't move, I'm gonna get you outta here..." She said, trying to comfort him. He gave a nod as she looked around frantically for someone who could help her.  
"Bruce!" She called out, despite her better judgement and own self preservation. Hopefully he was in control of himself... She swallowed hard when he stopped in front of her, her breathing quickening as a bead of sweat running from her forehead.  
"Tony's trapped. I can't get him out..." She said, her voice shaky as he looked down, towering over her. He turned his head, giving a grunt and started picking up the beams, throwing them away as he did. She let out of breath of relief, Tony was going to be fine.  
  
Zara turned, pulling assault rifle from the strap on her back, pumped it once and ran back into the thick of the fight. Steve and Bucky were going at it still, the sheer speed they could move both impressing the hell out of her, and making her feel completely intimidated at the same time.  
She did all she could think to do, and fired shots up at Larson, annoyed when she realized there was some kind of an invisible shield protecting him. This put the heat back on her, Ward appearing next to Larson behind the shield. Zara fought relentlessly, Ward keeping eye contact with her as he whispered something to the exhausted-looking man beside him.  
  
There was a ground-shaking roar as Banner bounded over, picking Steve up and slamming him back down, and knocking him out. Zara winced, she knew it was for the best, but he was definitely gonna feel THAT in the morning. Zara shot Ward another look, a sick smile spreading over his face as a trail of blood ran from Larson's nose. Ward was pushing him too far, what the hell was he doing!?  
Banner clutched his head, letting out a roar as he jammed his eyes shut...  
  
_Oh my god..._  
  
"NOOO!" She barely had time to scream out when Bruce straightened up and sent an unavoidable backhand in Bucky's direction, sending him flying. His heavy body flew straight into Zara with a sicking 'whack', the air leaving her lungs in an instant as if she'd been hit by a bus.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open after what she could only assume had been a second or two. Bucky was unconscious, still on top of her. She pushed as hard as she could as she struggled to breathe under his weight, panic setting in when she realized she was most definitely pinned. He was a hell of a lot heavier than she would have ever guessed, her tiny body feeling like it was being crushed under him.  
"Bucky! Bucky, wake up!" She pleaded, his face lifeless and peaceful except for a smudge of blood from a big graze on his cheek.  
  
She looked over to where Bruce had been, seeing him on his knees in his human form, clutching his head and moaning in agony. Larson looked like he'd fainted and been picked up again, and Steve and Tony were nowhere to be seen. Ward's face was actually worried now for some reason, Zara thought that if anything he should be rubbing his hands together after taking out two super soldiers, a Hulk and of course Tony Stark.  
  
Bucky groaned as his eyes fluttered open, Zara's eyes darting to his face. He immediately took his weight off her, Zara gasping in a much needed breath. A mob of Shield soldiers, complete with their loyal inhumans ran past them into the 'battle zone', Zara finally getting a sense of safety as she sat up, ears still ringing.  
Ward and Larson were gone from sight, obviously knowing they were about to be epically overpowered. She caught sight of Tony and Steve, both looking very beaten up. They were saying something and pointing to the door, she could only guess it was something along the lines of get the hell outta here' which she was all too happy to oblige them if that was the case.  
  
Bucky yanked her to her feet, a smile crossing Steve's lips as him and Stark turned away, glad that her and Bucky were up and safe. Her head spun, everything blurring as the ringing in her ears got louder. She shook it off, realizing that they were now outside, Bucky practically dragging her by her upper arm.  
"Hey... I'm right behind you" She said softly, wincing a little with every step they took. The thing about having a super soldier boyfriend was that they occasionally didn't know their own strength, and right now, she felt like he was going to rip her arm off. Obviously in a hurry to get them both out of there. She tried in vain to pull away, only for his grip to tighten.  
"Buck, you're hurting me..." She said in such a tone to try not to make him feel bad. He ignored her, pressing on until they reached the car.  
  
_Suck it up, you're safe with him and he's in 'knight in shining armor' mode... Or maybe he's angry... He DID tell me to get run and I kinda didn't... He sure looks angry... Argh crap..._  
  
Zara swallowed hard, worried about the conversation that was bound to ensue when they got in the car. Her heart rate picked up again when they stopped at the car door, watching him fish around his pockets. He frowned angrily as he raised his am, about to send a metal fist through the glass when Zara stopped him.  
"Bucky! Fucking hell, I have your keys!" She said, frustrated now with his moodiness. He put his hand out, looking into her eyes with his intense 'don't mess with me scowl'. She yanked her arm from his grip, fishing them from her back pocket and handed them to him, rubbing her arm.  
"What's gotten into you!?" She demanded as he unlocked the door, reaching out to grab her again. She pulled her arm away, dodging his advance when she suddenly felt her stomach drop. Even in one of his frequent moods, he'd never once laid a hand on her, never grabbed her, shoved her or manhandled her in any way.  
  
This wasn't Bucky.  
  
"Oh no..."  
  
He screwed his face up in anger again, lunging at her. Zara knew right then and there that Larson must have gotten into his head, and even worse, nobody knew that she was in danger or that Bucky was being controlled. She also knew that there was no way she could fight him off, or outrun him. She considered putting a shotgun shell into his thigh to disable him long enough for her to call out for help, but if she was honest with herself he'd probably still do whatever it was that he was being ordered to do anyway.  
The other half of her brain was thinking that if for some reason he fled, it was likely they'd never track him down, so maybe she should stick with him? See where this was going, see where he was taking her? She was wearing a tracker, so at least Shield would be able to find her, all she'd have to do is hit the panic button and they'd know she was in trouble. If they were going to a secret hideout, Coulson would know where to send a team, Bucky would lead them straight to ward, and they'd be ready this time.  
  
Bucky obviously didn't want to kill her, one thing she understood about him is that if he wanted someone dead, they'd be dead. It only took her half a second to make her mind up to surrender to him. Yes, it was a dangerous move, but not nearly as dangerous as trying to fight him. She was doing this for her own good, and his. Her only chance of saving him was sticking by him, and now she had a plan.  
  
She raised her hands in surrender to him as he strode over to her in an intimidating death-strut. Her heart started racing again, fear gripping her as her stomach turned over and her breath hitched. He reached out, grabbing her around the throat with his flesh hand, hard. Zara gasped, real panic setting in despite her decision to willingly let him take her. She struggled against him as he effortlessly lifted her off the ground with one arm. She kicked out as she desperately pulled against his hand, her nails digging into this skin.  
  
He turned, stepping towards the car, opening the door and dropping the front seat down. Zara kept fighting against his grip, kicking like crazy for all she was worth as she tried to scream out for help. Bucky's eyes were completely deadpan, no remorse or any emotion whatsoever. He was obviously growing tired of her struggle, taking a second to glance over his shoulder, and then back at her, annoyance now in his expression as he moved away from the door, slamming her into the side of the car head-first.  
  
Like something out of a dream or a movie she felt her body slump. Her ears rang, and all the other sounds muffled. She could see what was going on but couldn't feel a whole lot, and for that she was grateful. Part of her wished she wasn't aware, part of her wished that she could just go to sleep and wake up safe back at Shield.  
He shoved her feet-first onto the back seat of his car, putting the front seat back up and slamming the door. A single tear ran from her eye as she watched his driver's side door open, wet warmth now spreading over the spot where her head had hit the side of the car. He sat down heavily in his seat, slamming the door and starting the car. He turned briefly, looking over his shoulder to check on her. She wasn't in any shape to try any funny business, he'd made sure of that.  
  
She closed her eyes as the car sped off, sucking her into the seat. Zara closed her eyes, time would tell if she'd live to regret her decision...


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooh thanks for the Kudos, everyone! Was so excited to get a few for the last chapter, thank you!  
> This chapter we see Zara confront 'evil-Bucky' and come up with a plan to save them both, without getting killied. A bit of violence and angst in this one for anyone who's sensitive to it. Enjoy! xx

  
  
It was dark when Zara's eyes creaked open. She couldn't make a lot out, but one thing she was sure of, is that she wasn't in a lab or a cell. She propped herself a little, wincing with pain as she did, a hand pressing itself against her pounding head, finding a bandage there. She screwed her face up a little at the sour taste in her mouth, paired with her sore throat and queasy stomach which could only mean she'd been sick at some point.  
  
As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she came to realize that she was laid out on an old couch with a wool blanket thrown over her, and her wounds were cleaned and dressed. She wasn't tied up or restrained in any way, and she was in clean clothes, her hair still a little damp around the roots and smelled of soap.  
  
_What the hell?_  
  
She jammed her eyes shut as she put the puzzle together. If he'd wanted her dead, she'd be dead. Simple as that. If he'd wanted to hurt her, she'd be hurt... Which she technically was, but then again she'd fought against him, and he'd hit her once, just enough to shut her up without doing any permanent damage... But then someone had obviously cleaned her up. Had she been rescued along the way? If so, where the hell was Bucky?  
She suddenly found herself worried about him. She swung her feet off the couch, her stomach rolling again as she paused to gather herself up, the back of her hand over her mouth as she waited for the nausea to pass. The floorboards under her feet creaked as she stood up slowly, holding the arm rest to steady herself as she wobbled a little. She held her breath, waiting for someone to come running in, and much to her relief nobody did. She let her breath out again, making her way over to the kitchen slowly, peering out the window as she did. It looked like they were in the middle of nowhere.  
It was raining heavily outside, Zara crossing her arms for warmth as she gave a shiver. They weren't in the city anymore, and by the looks of it, they weren't even in the suburbs, acres of land stretching out for miles out of the kitchen window.  
  
She reached out, taking the only glass on the bench, and filling it with water from the tap, rinsing her mouth out and spitting it back into the sink. She stood for a moment as that nauseous feeling hit her again, passing quickly as she refilled her glass and had a big drink, and then another.  
While she was alone, she'd have to find a weapon. Zara wondered where her clothes and weapons had been put, if they were even here with her. There was bound to be a knife or something she could use to protect herself, her battered body not really up for fighting or acrobatics. Her tracker had been removed from around her wrist, but if it was anywhere in the house, she'd be found if Shield were looking. At the moment she didn't have time to waste worrying about Shield, if she wasn't at the base, they'd be wondering where she was, that much was certain. Right now she needed shoes, a weapon, and a plan.  
  
Zara gave herself a little pep talk in her head, gathering herself up as she turned to search the house for what she needed, catching a glimpse of him sitting by the front window, a single beam of moonlight illuminating his eyes as he watched her. She stopped dead in her tracks, her lips parting a little as she tried to figure him out. His face was deadpan, the wheels in his head obviously turning, waiting for her to react, but he stayed still as a statue as he studied her. Zara swallowed, her stomach tightening uncomfortably when she realized that Bucky was still not... Himself.  
Her mind raced as she tried to think of something intelligent to say, possibly even something meaningful and poetic to 'break the spell' so to speak. Seconds ticked by in slow motion as she frantically tried to rack her brain, nothing useful coming to mind. She closed her gaping mouth, opting to do exactly as he did, just watch and wait.  
  
If he spoke up first, she'd at least know where they were at. The fact that he hadn't jumped to his feet to attack her was somewhat comforting... Not quite comforting enough to quash the feeling he gave her with his 'I'm sitting here like a hunter that's stalking its prey' face. She let out a slow breath. If she wasn't going to say anything, and he wasn't going to say anything, and she wasn't going to react, and he wasn't-  
  
_Oh Christ, what the hell am I even doing here?_  
  
She bit her lip. He hadn't made a move yet, so she'd make one. Maybe he was catatonic? Maybe she could gather up her boots and guns and he'd just sit there as if the evil Snow Queen from that movie the other night had turned him to stone?  
  
_Here we go..._  
  
She took a deep breath, scanning the room with her eyes, catching his mouth twitch a little when her eyes locked with his again. Taking a step back, she let her eyes roam again, keeping him in her peripheral sight as she moved slowly from the kitchen. He straightened up a little when she got to the entrance of the hallway, but still didn't go after her. She watched him carefully as she made her way down the hallway, her back against the wall until she came to a door, half open. Peering through the crack, it seemed that it was a bedroom, and there was a military duffel bag on the floor.  
  
_Jackpot._  
  
She heard the lounge chair creak as he stood up, and decided to make a dash for it. She darted into the bedroom, closing the door behind her and pressing the lock. Locks had never held him before, but it offered a small sense of security as she darted for the bag, pulling out a knife which she shoved down the back of her pants and a handgun which she held up at the door with trembling hands.  
Heavy footprints came up the hallway, making her doubt her decision, thinking it was stupid, rather than gutsy. In a last minute change of mind, she dropped the handgun, kicking it under the bed. If she didn't threaten him, he wouldn't threaten her, right?  
  
_Here's hoping..._  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted when the door was ripped open, torn completely from its hinges, Bucky tossing the remains of it away. He lowered his head, glaring up at her through his eyelashes as he strode towards her, his mouth curled up in an angry snarl. She swallowed hard, quickly backing away from him till her shoulders touched the wall, hands up in a non-threatening gesture to show she was unarmed. He kept coming regardless, a dangerous expression on his face that went straight through her. She jammed her eyes shut as she pressed herself against the wall, Bucky closing the gap between them in no time at all. He grabbed her by the upper arm, pulling her away from the wall and spinning her around roughly. She gasped as her body came into contact with his, hard, the back of her head hitting his chest. At lightning speed, he'd fished the knife out of the back of her pants and pressed it against her throat, hard enough for her to know that he meant business.  
Zara held herself perfectly still, afraid to aggravate him any further. He hadn't slit her throat, he was threatening her. Trying to intimidate and overpower her - well not trying, he was doing a pretty damn good job of both if she was honest with herself. Her body trembled against his, her heart racing and her breathing quickening.  
She could feel his hair against her cheek, his hot breath against her neck. It was hard to fathom this was someone she loved, someone who had always kept her safe... Someone who had vowed to protect her no matter what, and now here he was holding a blade against her throat...  
  
He took it away, turning her to face him, his face almost touching hers as he glared at her, making her shiver again. He sneered at her, shoving her against the wall, which she hit with an 'oof' before catching her balance again.  
  
"What the hell are you doing in here!?" He snarled at her, his expression dangerous and terrifying. Zara swallowed hard.  
  
_Yay, he speaks!_  
  
"Looking for the bathroom..." She said nervously.  
He screwed his face up in anger, stepping towards her, flipping the knife casually in one hand, her eyes locking into it for a moment before darting back to his. The corner of his mouth curved up a little, amused at her fear. He shook his head at her, the knife pointing in her direction as he raised his brows, gesturing for her to try the truth this time as he cocked his head a little.  
  
"I... I was checking the place out. That's all."  
"You were checking my weapons out."  
"Wouldn't you do the same if you were in my shoes?" She asked, desperation in her voice. He let out a breath, pocketing the knife as he grabbed her by the arm, giving her a shove out the door and guiding her down the hallway.  
  
"Bathroom's in there" he said, reaching around to hit the light switch.  
Zara turned to look at him over her shoulder, the dangerous look now gone from his face as he gestured towards the open door.  
"Thanks..."  
  
_Holy shit... Holy fucking shit..._  
  
Zara closed the door behind her, leaning against the counter as she started at her reflection in the mirror. Her breath heaved, the world spinning still as she tried to make sense of it all. She swallowed hard, she had to calm down. Having an anxiety attack wasn't going to help anything, nor was crying, yelling or doing any of the other things she felt like doing.  
  
_Get your shit together, Zee. You can do this._  
  
She let out a breath, admittedly feeling much better after having a pee and giving her hands and face a wash. Curiosity got the better of her as she peeled the bandage up to check the wound on her head, and to her surprise it had been a cut deep enough that had needed stitching. Whoever had been the one to change her out of her combat gear, bathe her and wash her hair, had most likely been the same person who'd stitched her cut up again. She suddenly wondered if it was Bucky, wondered if they were alone, how long they'd been here, where the hell they were. She grit her teeth, pulling the bathroom door open and striding confidently into the main room, hitting the light as she did.  
  
"Bucky!?" She called out, her tone somewhat irritated, "Bucky, where ARE you!?"  
He appeared behind her, giving her the second fright of her life that night, stepping closer than she appreciated. She backed away from him, her butt hitting the island counter in the kitchen. He leaned against the wall, waiting for her to speak, absent-mindedly playing with the knife he still had in his hand. Zara swallowed hard again.  
  
"Where are we?" She demanded, making him chuckle darkly, in turn getting annoyed with him.  
"Where ARE w-" She repeated herself, not getting through her sentence before he cut her off aggressively.  
"You think I'd tell YOU that?" He snapped, stepping closer. He towered over her, using the obvious height difference between the two of them to his advantage. His lip curled into a cocky half-smile for a moment when her breath hitched, his expression dropping again just as quickly when she had the guts to let the questions keep coming.  
  
"Who's responsible for this?" She said, gathering courage as she pointed at her head where the wound was. "I know you hit me, who stitched it up? Who cleaned ME up!?"  
  
Bucky let out an annoyed breath. His job wasn't to answer questions or placate her, it was to keep her here until further notice, and keep her safe and alive. Well, as alive as possible. If she died in his care, they'd threatened him with the same fate. If she kept blasting him with questions, his temper wasn't going to hold up its end of the bargain...  
  
"Was it you?" She persisted, her voice cracking a little. He stopped twirling his knife, gripping the handle tightly now. She glanced down, noticing his hand tremble a little.  
"Bucky... Talk to me... We can beat this..." She soothed, her expression softening when she noticed the look in his eyes - a mixture of anger and confusion.  
  
She just wanted to pull him into a hug and hold him for a while. It didn't matter how helpless she was against him, he was bigger, stronger, faster, and she was his prisoner for all intents and purposes... But none of that mattered, he was in pain, and more than anything, he needed rescuing, not her. He'd hate himself for this when he came to, if he remembered any of it, which she hoped he wouldn't...  
Her brows pinched together in concern for him, his eyes jammed shut and a fist gripping his hair. His mouth was curled into a snarl, his expression absolutely breaking her heart.  
  
"Bucky, I'm right here..." She soothed again, taking a step towards him, holding a hand out.  
  
_Bad idea..._  
  
His eyes snapped open, full of rage. Zara gasped, pulling her hand away but not fast enough. He stepped in to shove her away, hard. She hit the ground with a thud, winded. Her eyes widened up at him as he stepped over her, yanking her to her feet and pushing her up against a wall.  
"Don't push me, you have no IDEA who you're dealing with" He snarled, his eyes full of pain and fury.  
"Bucky I'm sorry... I just want to help you. I know you, and you're not yourself..."  
"You need to shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you"  
"Do you know who I am to you?" She pleaded, not caring about the risks.  
"You're my mission"  
"What's my NAME!?" She demanded, watching his face screw up again, baring his teeth as his eyes jammed shut. He let out a growl, shaking off whatever had overcome him, turning her back to him and pressing her against himself, wrapping his arm around her neck, and the other around her body.  
"Shut up! Shut up or I'll SHUT you up!"  
"It's Zara Jones..." She choked out as he began to constrict her, his breath heaving and his body shaking as much as hers was. Tears ran down her face as her heart rate went through the roof, panic well and truly set in.  
"I'm your girlfriend... You said you'd never hurt me..." She sobbed, trying to force another reaction out of him, but he was too far gone. She'd never seen him in such a state before.  
  
_Steve, Tony... Where the HELL are you!?_  
  
"The picture in your wallet..." She choked out, as his arm tightened around her throat. She opened her mouth to finish the sentence, but words failed her as her eyes drooped, and then nothing...  
  
  
  
  
_Sleeper hold... I should have known. You shouldn't have pushed him, those are the rules here. Don't push him, and don't threaten him._  
  
_He'll win every time and you just keep walking into it._  
  
_What do you expect me to do, sit here and wait for Grant fucking Ward to rock up?_  
  
_It's either that or let Barnes kill you. If he wakes up knowing he's hurt you that's bad enough... If he kills you..._  
  
_He won't kill you._  
  
_He felt something tonight. You started breaking him, you just have to keep chipping away and he'll come round._  
  
_Are you forgetting you're not an invincible super soldier? Have you seen your cuts, scraped and bruises? The domestic violence look really doesn't become you..._  
  
_None of that fucking matters. This is temporary!_  
  
  
  
  
Zara's eyes opened slowly, daylight peeking through the blinds, making her squint as she shook off her internal argument with herself. Leaving Bucky was never going to be an option. She was pretty sure her body couldn't take any more abuse if she kept challenging him, but it was the one thing that was getting through to him...  
  
She sat up from her spot on the couch, still under the wool blanket.  
  
_He might beat the crap out of you, but at least he doesn't let you freeze..._  
  
She jammed her eyes shut again, not wanting to listen to her brain. She let out a breath, opening them and standing up to make her way to the bathroom, noticing something on the kitchen bench which made her stop in her tracks. It was the photo from his wallet, the one of him and her at one of Tony's parties. Bucky in a t-shirt and combat pants, and her in a tight red mini-dress, her long hair over her shoulders. He was hugging her from behind and they were both smiling into the camera.  
Zara's stomach tightened, he'd seen the photo, and had it out. Who knows how long he'd looked at it for, what had gone through his mind when he'd found it, or why he'd left it out.  
  
She bit her lip, longing to go back to the night from the photo, back when everything was fine. At this rate it wasn't going to happen unless she got him far away from here. If she couldn't crack him psychologically, then the only other option was to get him far away enough from Larson to break the connection. No mean feat, considering she not only had no idea where THEY were, she also had no idea where Larson and Ward were. If she made the wrong choice, going towards them was only going to strengthen the connection, and she was going to be doing this completely blind. With a fifty percent chance of making the wrong decision.  
  
"Great..." She muttered to herself.  
  
The other fun part was thinking of the statistics of how many people have gotten away from Bucky Barnes when he was in psycho-killer mode... That would be all of, well one. Steve Rogers... Who's a super soldier... She let out a long breath. The OTHER fun part was thinking how she was going to move him. She had zero chance of knocking him out in a fight, she couldn't drug him, and the thought of HER putting HIM into a sleeper hold was just plain laughable. She'd have to get him to chase her, and she'd have to get out by car, because on foot, she had zero chance against him.  
  
_The only way of getting him to chase me, is if I get out of this house in one piece... And steal his keys, and take his car... And drive slow enough for him to give chase, but fast enough that I don't get taken down. This is really, really going to piss him off, and if he catches me, I'm pretty sure I can kiss my ass goodbye for good... That and Bucky goes back to a life of Hydra torture, although they'd probably freeze him and thaw him out in 80 years when everyone who knows him is dead..._  
  
Zara gave a shiver just thinking about it. The only way she'd get his keys is if she disabled him, which meant she had to get her hands on a gun. He'd put the duffel bag away, but she was pretty sure the handgun she kicked under the bed would still be there. If she shot at him, he'd heal quick, so she'd have to have her wits about her, and keep moving, and she'd have to get started asap. For all she knew, Larson and Ward were probably on their way to pick them up already.  
  
_Another time sensitive death mission... And this time, I'm up against the Winter Soldier... Jesus Christ..._  
  
Zara shook her head as she gathered her thoughts, only now starting to feel like there was light at the end of the tunnel. A long, dark, bloody tunnel, but one they were going to get through if she could pull this off.  
  
_Shooting the man I love intentionally should be a barrel of laughs... Trust me to have to just about kill someone to save them... Not to mention myself. Typical..._  
  
She let out a long sigh as she made her way to the bathroom, catching Bucky watching her from his broken bedroom door. She lowered her head as she stepped into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind her.  
  
_Time to suit up, girl._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zara has a bit of an inner battle with herself, not wanting to take Bucky down or hurt him, coming up with a plan B which she tries to execute, even if it means getting hurt, herself. A potentially deadly and unexpected situation opens up an opportunity which she takes. Zara does what she does best - grits her teeth and jumps straight in the deep end. Not surprisingly, there's quite a bit of violence in this one. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the kudos, messages and hits! :) Luv Kaytee xoxo

  


It didn't take Zara long to figure out a plan of action once Bucky had gotten the call. From what she'd heard, there had been some sort of Hydra crisis, and Ward had had to split his team up, and run with Larson. Wherever he'd run it was within range of them still, as Bucky was still in 'evil mode' with her yet to break through him any further.  
As far as she knew they has been told to sit tight for another couple of days, and then Bucky was to load her into the car, and meet them at whatever secret location they were at.  
  
_Great, really looking forward to being knocked out again... Not..._  
  
There was no chance she was going to be able to sneak his car keys from him, but maybe when they got on the move she could disable him somehow and get the upper hand. They'd both be outside, they'd be near the car, it was the only logical, do-able plan she could muster at short notice. She'd need a weapon, her thoughts traveling to the gun she'd kicked under the bed the night before... Part of her was convinced Bucky would notice, but then again Bucky's mind was all over the place. When he wasn't looking at her like he was going to snap her in half, his eyes were worried and confused. Maybe Larson didn't have as strong a hold as she thought? Maybe they were almost out of range? Maybe he was weak after holding onto Bucky all this time? She had no way of knowing, but she sure as hell was planning to take full advantage of it.  
  
She'd gotten out of the shower, not turning the tap off straight away to give her sound cover to search the bathroom. Maybe there'd be razors, a bottle of sleeping pills, a length of shower curtain cable? You could use pretty much anything as a weapon with a bit of imagination, Bucky had taught her that much over their time together.  
  
_Damn..._  
  
Nothing of use, and she could hear the floorboards in the hallway creaking. She turned the tap off, drying herself quickly before dressing. One thing she was grateful for was Bucky and his backup plans. She didn't know until now that he kept a spare change of clothes for each of them stashed in his car along with the arsenal of weapons he had. Well, the weapons didn't surprise her, but the clothes and toiletries sure did. She took the old looking pack of Marlboro Reds from behind the shampoo bottles in the cabinet, flipping the lid open. Three left. She pulled them out, shoving them into her pants pocket, whispering a silent thank you to whoever may have left them there.  
  
The bathroom door burst open, making her gasp as she pulled the front of her flannelette shirt closed. She stood, mouth gaping with shock as he glared at her, cocking his head a little.  
"Get out..." Is all he said, his eyes glued to hers. She nodded, bending to pick up her towel, only for him to snap at her again. "Leave it"  
  
_Jesus Christ..._  
  
She put her hands up in surrender and slipped past him and made her way into the main room, Bucky not bothering to close the bathroom door behind her. She listened as he turned the shower on, kicked his heavy boots off and undressed. Zara grit her teeth, pacing back and forth in the kitchen, her mind racing again. She wasn't sure she could wait this out, she definitely couldn't deal with Bucky being like this. One minute she thought she could break him, and then in the next he was outright scary.  
She thought back to her earlier plan, waiting for the call and taking Bucky down when they were outside... In theory he wouldn't see it coming, but if he got the call in the middle of the night and knocked her out, they were screwed.  
  
_Who knew saving someone who was trying to kill you would be so hard!?_  
  
It was time for a new plan. She didn't need keys to start that car, but she needed time. Time is something she wouldn't have, ever. She pulled a cigarette from her pocket, lighting it on the stove and sitting on the kitchen counter. Zara closed her eyes, dragging in the first deep breath of her cigarette, feeling the tension fall from her body as she blew the smoke out again.  
  
_Right, so my big plan is to take him out, run, and get him to chase me. Larson looses the connection when we're out or range, Bucky goes back to normal... The day is saved._  
  
It was as good a plan as any, but like all plans, it always payed to have some sort of a backup. Her thoughts went to his shaking hands when she mentioned the photo of them. Bucky said it himself, she was his one weakness. She flicked her ash in the sink before the cigarette went to her lips again, her mind clear for the first time in days.  
Surely mind control didn't work like that, you say the magic work and the spell is broken. Are some minds easier to control than others? She assumed someone as pig-headed as Bucky would be hard to pin down, she'd proved that herself when he'd broken into a cold sweat, screaming at her to shut up, his eyes jammed shut in pain... Maybe she was getting through to him, if he hadn't put her in a sleeper hold, she may have been able to crack him. Push him that little bit further.  
  
_Okay, so plan A - try to crack him. If that doesn't work, THEN start shooting..._  
  
She shook her head, knowing both versions were going to end up in her taking some sort of an epic beating. If he knocked her out and decided to tie her up, it was all over. If he put her in the car it was all over... If he killed her... It was all over. Zara let out a long breath, there weren't too many other options, and if she could save him, then at the end of the day it was worth it. He'd do the same for her...  
  
Zara bit her lip, suddenly noticing the room was full of smoke. That was sure to get his attention...  
  
_Shit._  
  
She pulled the window open a crack, hearing the inevitable movement in the bathroom. She leaned back on the cabinet in an effort to look comfortable as he shot around the corner, still wet in nothing but a very low slung pair of sweatpants. She flicked her ash into the kitchen sink and blew a breath of smoke out the window, maintaining eye contact with him.  
  
_Here we go... Don't die..._  
  
"What the hell are you doing!?" He demanded, striding over to her angrily.  
"I wasn't trying to escape. Honest..." She said, finding herself backing away from him, tucking her legs up in a feeble effort to create distance between them. He glanced up at the window, only open a fraction and then back at her. He let a frustrated breath out, snatching the cigarette from her and butting it out in the sink.  
"You shouldn't do that..." He scolded her, eyes glaring. She shook her head at him in disbelief, biting her lip as she glared back at him.  
"And what are you gonna do about it?" She said, challenging him as he leaned towards her, hands spread out on the bench either side of her.  
"Do you really want to find out?" He threatened, keeping his voice low, not appreciating her attitude.  
  
_Okay Bucko, game on, let's see if I can break you down..._  
  
"We both know I can't fight you off, OR outrun you, Bucky. You've got nothing to prove by beating a girl up... Unless you enjoy dishing out on someone half your size..." She said intentionally, knowing it was something he was sensitive about. He grit his teeth and growled, jamming his eyes shut for a moment.  
  
_Ha! ...Oh shit._  
  
He grabbed her by the collar of the shirt, pulling her off the bench, and shoving her in the direction of the living room. She stumbled as her feet hit the floor, stopping herself from falling as she spread her feet, finding her balance as he strode towards her. She swallowed hard, knowing she had to finish what she started. She'd break him like she broke him last time, it was going to hurt them both, but at this point determination was winning over self-preservation.  
  
"Where's our photo, Bucky?" She taunted him, barely having time to gasp as he sent a backhand across her face, sending her flying across the room. She clenched her jaw, shaking it off as best she could.  
"Did that feel good? Hurting someone you love?"  
"I DON'T LOVE YOU!" He roared, picking her up off the floor and slamming her into the nearest wall, hard.  
"Yes you do! Larson and Ward have control of you, all you can see is your mission-" She said, cutting herself off with a gasp as he raised his metal arm to punch her. Her eyes shot from his fist to his eyes... His broken, confused eyes.  
"You don't have to do this, Bucky... You're stronger than this..." She pleaded, her voice softening. "You know who I am. I'm Zara Jones, and that means something to you, think about it..." His other fist which was twisted into the front of her shirt trembled as he screwed his face up, sending the metal fist into the wall beside her face, making her jump.  
  
For a moment they stood looking into each others' eyes, Zara swallowing down the urge to lean forward and kiss him, instead slowly reaching up to place her hand over the arm that was restraining her. Tension rippled from him, but he remained still, Zara somewhat shocked that he let her do it. She rubbed the skin gently, blinking away a threatening tear as she let out a breath, watching his unchanging expression. He stepped back, yanking his arm away in disgust, Zara sliding down the wall into a heap on the floor where he left her.  
  
"You're playing a dangerous game..." Is all he said, leaving her to cry it out.  
  
  
  
  
Her dreams were riddled with all the most painful memories she'd ever had, laced with happy moments she'd shared with Bucky. His smile when he woke up beside her, swimming in warm, tropical waters together, the heart racing kiss before they escaped Avengers tower... His sheer determination to keep her safe in whatever situation they'd faced together. Something that was easy to take for granted... What she wouldn't give for protective Bucky to run in the door and save her from the Winter Soldier version of himself... To whisk her away to safety, to somewhere with a big bed and a warm, summer breeze. She shivered into the tattered blanket that was half covering her, sure that she could make out her breath hanging in the air.  
  
She bit her trembling lip, letting out a breath as she closed her eyes. She was going to have to shoot him, and take him down. Her body couldn't take another beating like that, the way he'd looked at her was a stern warning - one more attempt at mind games, and he was probably going to hurt her in a way she might not come back from. She didn't want to shoot him, how the hell was she going to be able to shoot someone that didn't know they were being controlled.  
  
_Easy. You're shooting Ward and Larson. Bucky would never hurt you... This isn't him, stop looking at him all doe-eyed, grow up and toughen up. If you don't take him down, they'll take you both. Bucky goes back into a cryo freezer, and it's anyone's guess what they'll do to you..._  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by gunshots out the front of the house, coming in the front window. Zara stayed down, shielding herself as another rain of shells came in. She was vaguely aware of heavy footsteps behind her, suddenly worried for Bucky, hoping he hadn't been hit. Before she could say a word, the couch flipped over backwards, Bucky catching and shielding her as the bullets kept coming. He raised his gun, firing it twice, screams ringing out in the distance. He crouched back down, checking her over quickly.  
"Are you hurt?" He asked, looking into her eyes. She shook her head, shocked at his sudden show of compassion.  
  
_Is he back to normal?_  
  
"I'm fine, are you okay?" She asked, gripping his forearm. He nodded once, pulling away from her as he stood, sending more gunshots towards their attackers, taking out what sounded like another two before crouching down beside her again.  
More gunfire erupted, Bucky pulling her in close to his chest, covering her with his metal arm as best he could. Zara hung onto him, glancing over her shoulder to watch their backs, Bucky pressing her face back against him with his metal hand. She closed her eyes, nestling into the crook of his neck for a moment, suppressing the sudden urge to cry.  
  
She heard him mumble something in frustration, tapping her shoulder to get her attention, nodding towards the hallway. Zara nodded once to let him know she understood, waiting for the bullets to stop flying before he stood up and pulled her to her feet. They quickly made their way to the nearest bedroom where he backed her against a wall gently, but firmly as to stay hidden.  
"What's going on?" She whispered, her face inches from his. "They look like Hydra soldiers..."  
"They are..." He said back, hi voice low as he peered over his shoulder.  
"Why are they after us? Are you... Free?" She tested, his eyes narrowing at her as though she'd hit a nerve.  
"I can do whatever I want"  
"Yet you chose to keep me safe..."  
  
He let out a frustrated breath, shaking his head, ignoring the rain of bullets flying down the hallway.  
"As I said, my job is to keep you alive, and deliver you to Ward. That's it." He said somewhat harshly. Zara bit her lip and nodded, staying against the wall as he reached for his military bag, and the gun under the bed, giving her a look as he did.  
  
"Stay there." He instructed as he made his way to the door, flattening himself against the frame as more bullets came through the front of the house. He darted out the front, leaving her in there, alone to listen to the sickening sounds of metal pulverizing flesh amongst the sounds of bullets going through heads.  
  
She swallowed hard, having heard all she needed to hear. Bucky wasn't there to save her, and nobody else was coming either if they hadn't already. He was still under Larson's control, even if he was out the front of the house taking out every Hydra soldier that had showed up.  
  
_What the HELL is going on?_  
  
Her only guess was maybe that there was some sort of mutiny going on. Hydra was a big organization, maybe they were rebelling against Ward? It was anyone's guess...  
She knew she had to get moving, she couldn't hide in here much longer, and if Bucky decided to drag her into the car and kick his plan into action early, there was no stopping him. She snapped into action, gathering herself together as she started out of the room, hearing another ruckus at the back door. She stopped in her tracks, an armed soldier bursting in the door, sending bullets flying at her. She backed up, flattening herself against the wall beside the door and grabbing him as he stepped in after her. She grabbed his gun with one hand, sending the heel of her other palm up into his nose, disorienting him. She yanked at his gun, and as he stumbled towards her, she sent an elbow into his cheek, her knee into his crotch and spinning the gun, a bullet through his abdomen. He slumped on the floor, Zara raiding him for weapons, hiding as many on her as she could.  
She stepped into the main room, taking out two more soldiers in the house before Bucky came running back in. He looked up at her, her pistol still pointed at the last soldier on the floor. There was silence around them, Bucky opening his mouth to say something, Zara raising a finger to her mouth as if to hush him. His attention shot to the window at the same time as hers did, Bucky stepping out to take down the last of the soldiers, Zara following him out to the front porch, taking the opportunity to quickly and quietly reload her gun, flicking the safeties off her other two.  
  
Her heart raced, knowing what she was about to do, and suddenly she wasn't sure if she could do it. He'd protected her, he hadn't come at her even knowing she was armed. They'd worked as a team taking these soldiers out. Maybe she could talk him down? The last three tries hadn't worked, but who's saying this one won't? Then she wouldn't have to shoot him, and all their problems would be over... Right?  
  
"Why are Hydra after us?" She asked, repeating her question from earlier.  
Bucky shot her a look, not 100% sure what to say in reply. If she'd read him correctly, she'd say he wasn't sure what the hell was going on either. Good, he was easy to work with when he was confused.  
  
"Ward has Larson controlling you, so why would they send soldiers to take us out? Do you think there's been a rebellion?" She asked, testing him again. He grit his teeth, and let out a breath as if trying to calm himself.  
  
"...Unless Larson is losing his grip on you..." She mused aloud, Bucky's face darkening.  
  
His face screwed up angrily again like he was going to pounce on her... This wasn't going how she'd pictured, and she really, really, REALLY didn't want to hurt him...  
  
"Bucky... I'm sorry, I don't wanna make you mad... I want to help you" She said, her voice pleading.  
"I don't NEED your help"  
"Yes you do! I can save you!"  
"Shut up!"  
"I can save you like you saved me... I'd do anything for you Buck, just like you'd do anything for me"  
"You're nothing to me. You're my mission, that's IT. We've been OVER this!" He snarled, striding over to her now.  
  
_You made me do this, Bucky... Please forgive me..._  
  
Zara grit her teeth, raised her pistol and put two bullets into his thigh, making him stumble. He straightened straight up and started running at her, un-phased by his wounds. Zara's stomach tightened as she sent another set of bullets into his other leg, hoping to drop him to the ground. It scared her how resilient he was. She knew she'd have to aim higher, worry setting in.  
  
_What if I hit something that won't repair. One shot through the heart and nobody is coming back from that..._  
  
She fired again as she started running, sending three shots into his abdomen. That slowed him down. He dropped to the ground on one knee, looking up at her, pain in his eyes with his hand over the bleeding wound. She kept running, tears leaking from her eyes as she fought against every urge to stop, turn back and help him. He was in pain, possibly dying, and she'd done it to him.  
She didn't stop until she reached the car, smashing the driver's side rear window in with the butt of her gun, and pulling the driver's side door open. She slammed it shut, pulling the panel from under the dash to yank the wires out that she needed. Hot-wiring it was a piece of cake, sending relief through her for a moment.  
  
Her eyes darted up in time to see him running at the car, taking a flying leap towards the hood. Zara jammed it into reverse, hard, and flew backwards. She spun the wheel, clutch in as she floored the gas pedal, throwing it into first and roaring off. Bucky gained on her quicker than she thought he would, panic rising up in her as she suddenly doubted her whole stupid plan. If he caught her, she was dead. The punishment he'd dished out on her for mouthing off was nothing compared to what he was bound to do after she unloaded half a clip into him.  
  
She finally started accelerating away from him, relief sweeping over her as she kept her eye on him. She slowed down a little as she took the corner out of the driveway, Bucky disappearing into a parked car, no doubt to hot-wire it and give chase. She watched him out of the corner of her eye in the rear view mirror as she got further and further away.  
  
The blood on the back seat caught her eye for a moment, helping to get rid of some of the guilt she was feeling for shooting him. Zara bit her lips, fighting tears off. She should have put him down right then and there, called Stark and had him collected. She reached forward, entering Bucky's code into the touch screen display in the car, activating the GPS and the communication system. Her eyes flicked up to the rear-view mirror, watching a car speeding up behind her, gaining on her at a frightening rate. She changed gears, putting her foot down hard. She had to keep enough distance between them that he couldn't shoot, hit her or capture her, which was going to be a challenge, given how much firepower he was packing...  
  
She swallowed hard as the GPS finally loaded.  
  
_Do your thing Stark... Track me. I'm officially being hunted._


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a Zara vs Bucky car chase as she tries to lure him out of range of Larson's mind control before he kills her. Luck isn't on her side with a shortage of gas, ammo and backup... And an angry super soldier who wants her dead...
> 
> Loved writing this chapter, hope you guys enjoy reading it! Thanks again to everyone following my very long fic, really appreciate all the hits, comments and kudos :) Luv Kaytee xx

  
  
A glance in the rear-view mirror told Zara that it was high time she came up with a plan. They couldn't just keep heading down the freeway going faster and faster until one of the cars blew up, lost control... Or she was shot at... The thanked her lucky stars that whatever car Bucky had taken was, to put it nicely, a piece of junk. There was no outrunning a new GTO coupe in whatever rust bucket he'd picked up no matter how good a driver he was. On the flip side, she had to let him stay close enough to her to ensure he'd stay with her. Close enough that it still felt like a 'chase' because if he gave up, SHE'D have to go after HIM.  
She reached over, frantically pressing at the touch screen, trying to figure out how to load up the wireless comms system that she knew was installed.  
  
"Come on... Come on..." She said through gritted teeth, frustrated with the technology. "Thank Christ for that..."  
  
There was a loud bang, followed by glass shattering behind her, Zara keeping her head down as she let out an involuntary scream. She planted her foot again, realizing that she'd lost speed when she'd been distracted by getting the damn communicator to work. A glance in the side mirror saw Bucky's metal arm out the window, gun in hand.  
  
_Fuck!_  
  
She stayed low, building the distance between them as quickly as she could, her knuckles white as she gripped the wheel, heart racing like crazy. A risky look over her shoulder made her relax a little, his arm was back inside his car. She could just picture his face, curled into a dangerous snarl as he pursued her. She shuddered, thinking of what might happen if and when he caught her. She knew exactly what he was capable of, she'd seen him kill people before. If someone pissed him off, he'd make them suffer... It was clear that she was going to be in the latter category.  
  
Zara blew out a breath, straightening back up in her seat, her stomach turning over when her head made contact with what was left of the head-rest, her hand reaching back to feel a gaping hole right where her head should have been. Her whole body trembled, tears leaking out of her eyes as the sickening reality of the situation came to light. That was a kill-shot. Bucky was trying to kill her... She sunk her foot lower onto the pedal, not so sure if she trusted her plan anymore. How far did she need to take him? What if she really WAS going in the wrong direction? What the fuck was she supposed to do if the gas ran out? She wasn't up to a fight to the death, and she sure as shit didn't want to kill Bucky, the whole plan was originally to save him, but now it looked more like she was going to need to save herself.  
  
The screen on the dashboard finally loaded, Zara hitting the green button next to the shield logo and turning the volume up on the stereo head unit, a dial tone ringing out.  
  
"Stark tower, this is Hillary, ho-"  
"Put me through to Stark please, this is an emergency" Zara called out over the sound of the wind, desperation in her voice.  
"He's currently unavailable, can I take a message?"  
"This is Zara Jones, no matter how busy he is, you can put me through. This one's life or death..."  
"Zara Jones? ...Wait... get out of here!" There was a scuffle on the other end of the line as another familiar voice came through the speaker.  
  
"Zeej! Oh my god are you okay, where are you!?" Came the worried voice of Jess Middleton. Zara could have cried in relief.  
"Jess, holy shit... Take the phone, run as fast as you can to Tony's lab. If you run into Rogers, bring him with you" She said, glancing in her rear view mirror again, and then back down at her fuel gauge.  
"And hurry, I don't have much time..."  
"What's going on?"  
"Just get Stark or Rogers, _please!_ "  
"On it"  
  
She took the next exit, dying to change direction, anything to get her further away from him. The tires screeched as she drifted round the corner, hardly slowing down as she headed towards the lights in the distance. At the rate she was going, she was running out of gas fast... Faster than she'd planned. At least on back roads she'd have a better chance of taking him down without civilian casualties...  
  
"Zara!?" Came another familiar voice as she changed gears, speeding off into the night again.  
"Steve... I'm in deep shit... I need Stark to track me"  
"I'm on my way to the lab as we speak, what's going on!?"  
"I'm in Bucky's car, I have no idea where I am. He's after me, and if he catches me I'm dead... I'm running out of gas" She said, her voice trembling as she saw him round the corner behind her, his car sliding sideways before straightening up.  
"Are you hurt?"  
"Yes... I don't know... Just find me, please!" She begged, feeling her own self control slipping. She swerved around another corner, accelerating onto a long straight back road.  
  
_Shit, shit, shit... Plan C anyone?_  
  
Zara bit her lip, watching the needle drop lower and lower on her gauge as her mind raced. She wondered what the hell she was going to do when it ran out. She could always shoot him again, but she only had so many bullets, and she was dealing with someone who could heal at a rate which was going to prove inconvenient... Not to mention the fact that he was armed from head to toe, could move like lightening and was a much, much better shot than her, that's if he decided to get it over with the quick way.  
  
_God damn it..._  
  
There was movement on the other end of the phone, a door being bashed open and the muffled sound of arguing before a silent pause.  
"Zeejay, are you okay honey?" Came Tony's worried voice.  
"I will be if you get me outta here"  
"Working on it... I have your location" He said, Zara letting out a breath of relief. "Rogers is on his way"  
"Thank you..." She said, her voice shaky. She glanced at her gauges and mirrors again quickly. "I'm running out of gas, I have maybe five minute, tops..." She said, reaching over to sit her gun in her lap.  
"Hang in there, Zee, we'll get you home"  
"Do you have Larson's location? Please tell me I'm traveling away from them?" She said, gathering herself up as best she could.  
"Hang on a sec..."  
  
She could hear Tony in the background looking up what she'd asked, taking the moment to risk a look over her shoulder through the shattered back window, her hair whipping up in the wind. More shots were fired behind her, Zara ducking her head as she swerved at speed. The tires squealed loudly, Zara wrestling with the wheel to keep control of the car on the slick, wet road. She geared back aggressively and planted her foot again, her eyes back on the gauge, the needle below the red line.  
  
"ZARA!" Came Tony's voice, hearing the commotion on her end of the line.  
"I'm here"  
"Hang in there baby"  
  
She hit the brakes hard, short-shifting back to second as she took the next right at the T intersection, the engine revving loudly as the tires struggled to find traction. Bucky closed the distance between them quickly, braking late. His arm came out the window again as he steered into the corner one handed, unloading half a clip into the side of her car. Zara shrieked, keeping low as she accelerated hard the second she came around the corner.  
  
_I'm dead... I'm dead..._  
  
Zara trembled from top to bottom, tears leaking out of her eyes as she glanced in her wing mirror. She didn't bother looking down at her stinging shoulder. She knew she'd been hit, but could still move it, which told her it was only superficial. Another glance at the gauge had her stomach in a knot, she was going to have to do something. Rogers was nowhere to be seen and her time was just about up.  
  
Her chest was thumping at a million miles an hour, her body shaking and her breathing rapid and short. Zara couldn't remember a single time in her life that she was as scared as she was right now. She heard screeching behind her, a glance in the mirror seeing his car sway back and forth before straightening out again.  
  
_Bucky was the last one to drive this car, he knows the gas won't last me... He's waiting for me to stop..._  
  
"Tony? Where's Rogers!?" She called out over the wind in the car.  
"Just a couple of minutes away, Zee. Hang in there"  
  
Zara bit her lip. It was one of those do or die moments, she was going to have to do something big to take him down. He'd survive, and hopefully she would to, but at these speeds it was a huge gamble... If she didn't take him down and he killed her, he'd just go back to Hydra, and then it was game over for him. If they froze him in cryo there was no way he'd be found locked up in a bunker underground in the middle of nowhere... If Shield couldn't find him the last 70 years, what hope would they have finding him if it happened again?  
  
"I don't have a couple of minutes..." She said quietly, the car surging intermittently. She grit her teeth, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She heard Tony curse and slam something in the background, knowing that horrible helpless feeling he'd have. Out of everyone in the building, he was the one she had the closest bond with. He'd been there with a light hearted joke or a glass of scotch through everything, and it was only fitting that he was on the line with her at this moment.  
  
"Thanks for everything Tony. Thanks for being the best big brother I could have asked for..."  
"Zara honey, don't talk like that"  
  
Zara covered her mouth with the back of her shaking hand as more tears came. She broke down hopelessly as the car surged again, threatening to die on her, still no sign of Steve anywhere.  
  
"Love you Tony" She said, hearing him scream out to her in response over the speaker as she closed her eyes in silent prayer for a moment.  
  
Zara clenched her jaw, letting out a shaky breath before slamming her feet down hard, one on the clutch, the other on the brakes. She braced herself against the wheel, pushing herself back into the seat as hard as she could as her feet pressed the pedals to the floor. The car behind her blasted it's horn, gaining on her in less than a second, swerving out of the way.  
She stomped the accelerator, red-lining the revs as she shifted into second, spinning the wheel hard as she dumped the clutch, making the engine roar and the tires squeal. She yanked the handbrake up, spinning her car directly and unavoidably into his way, his horn still blaring.  
  
She braced for impact, hearing Tony yelling something over the speaker that she couldn't make out over all the commotion as time slowed down, letting her take in what she assumed to be her last moments on Earth. When her car finished its full rotation, she looked up in time to briefly make eye contact with Bucky, his face screwed up in pain and worry.  
  
_You'll survive this, Buck. Rogers will be here to take you home. I love you..._  
  
The impact itself took her breath away, the thunderous slam of metal taking away all her senses as her body was whipped violently against the inside of the car. The GTO lifted off the ground, flipping through the air, Zara jamming her eyes shut in hopes it would all be over soon. She covered her face with her arm, glass flying through the cabin in slow motion. When her car made contact with the road again she felt her driver's side door crunch in against her side before it lifted off again. Zara held her breath in as it made contact with the road again, her head hitting something hard. She blocked out the BANG, BANG, BANG of metal hitting asphalt as best she could, loosing count of how many times it rolled over before crunching to a violent stop against a guard rail.  
  
When Zara opened her eyes and got her bearings back, she realized the car was on its roof and she was hanging from her seat-belt. If she survived, then he would have as well, which means he'd be after her. She lifted her leg, wincing as she reached for her boot where she'd tucked a knife from one of the Hydra soldiers. She let out an almost inaudible whimper as she pushed through the pain throughout her body. She needed that knife.  
One quick slash was all it needed on each section of the belt to cut through it. She raised a hand to the roof to try and stabilize herself before she landed with an ungraceful thud. The taste of blood in her mouth was making her nauseous, added to whatever head injury she was nursing.  
  
_Gun... Find the gun..._  
  
Zara grit her teeth, running her hands through the broken glass she was laying in, to try and find her pistol in what was left of Bucky's car. The shakes were setting in, there was still no sign of a quinjet, the communication device in her car was smashed to smithereens, and she was so weak she could barely lift her arm.  
  
_Come on Zara, you've come this far. You're doing this to save HIM, not YOU._  
  
She held back the tears that were beginning to form, finding the gun finally. Still no noise outside... Maybe he was dead? Or unconscious? That horrible guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach returned, if she'd killed him, there was no way she could live with herself. She scolded herself for being so stupid, shaking those thoughts off. Super soldiers died from epic battles, explosions, that kind of thing. Not from a car rollover.  
  
_Where are you Steve???_  
  
She winced as she sat herself up, sucking in a breath as she stifled a whimper. She managed to scoot herself back against what was left of her driver's side door, which was pressed up against a guard rail. If he came at her, he'd have to take the passenger door off, and she'd unload her last few bullets into him. That would hopefully keep him down until Steve arrived. Zara let out a breath, feeling woozy. She suddenly just wanted to go to sleep, her eyes growing heavy...  
  
"Zee?" Came a voice from outside the car. Her eyes snapped open again, trying to make out the face of the person who was crouching to peer into the car.  
  
_Steve? ...Nope... Uh oh..._  
  
Zara gasped, holding the gun up with trembling hands, her breathing short and rapid. This was it. This was how Zara Jones dies, for real this time...  
  
"Baby it's me..." Came the apologetic sad voice again. Tears leaked out of her eyes again as she lowered her gun, realizing who it really was.  
"Buck..." She choked out, her hand covering her mouth as she broke down again.  
"Don't you dare drop that gun." He scolded her, his voice pained and husky. "You hold it up, just in case. Okay?" He said, "I'm going to get you out of here..."  
  
She nodded, holding the gun back up as best she could, wiping tears from her face with the back of her free hand, letting out a breath to try and calm herself. Bucky gave her a nod before rising to his feet, bracing his flesh hand against the car as he grasped the door with his metal arm. There was the familiar robotic whir, and with one hard yank, the door was off the car. He dropped it behind him, the loud clunk it made as it hitting the ground making Zara jump.  
  
Bucky crouched back down to look in through the car, looking her up and down from the stitched cut above her bruised temple, to the numerous other scrapes, bumps and scratches all over her. She held herself in such a way that he knew the damage was deeper, there were bound to be some cracked ribs and maybe a broken wrist... But the fearful, guarded look in her eyes was the worst... Something he wouldn't forget any time soon. The wintery night air whipped a breeze around them, Zara shivering where she sat in the upturned car, her cheeks pale and her lips tinged blue.  
Bucky let out a breath, wanting to get her out, to pull her close and comfort her, keep her warm and safe until help arrived. He grit his teeth knowing it was a bad idea. For now. he was out of Larson's control, but he didn't know for how long or how this whole mind control thing worked. As far as he was concerned, she was safest where she was, and she was armed. If for some reason he lost control, she could take him down. She'd proved that much already.  
  
"You're gonna be okay, Zee, just hang on a little longer" He soothed, "Keep that gun on me, don't you drop it, not for a second. you hear me?"  
Zara nodded, letting out a breath of relief as a familiar sound above them got closer...  
  
"Bucky, back away from the car and raise your hands" Came the booming voice of Steve Rogers through the quinjet speaker. Bucky did as he was told, walking backwards and giving the jet room to land.  
Zara stayed quiet, listening to their exchange. Bucky called out that she was alive, and demanded for Steve to cuff him before doing anything else.  
  
"Buck..."  
"Just do it, I'm not safe for you or her to be around right now"  
  
Steve did as he was instructed, cuffing Bucky before making his way to what was left of the upturned black car. He crouched to peer in through the hole left by the passenger door being removed, finding Zara backed into the corner, gun raised.  
  
"Hey..." He soothed, "can you move?" He put a hand out to her, Zara groaning a little as she made her way towards him slowly, her hands and knees crunching in the glass.  
"Give me your hands" He said when she got close enough. She reached out to him and he helped her out and to her feet, holding her up when she wobbled. He scooped her effortlessly, turning to take in the scene, both cars destroyed. The car Bucky had been in, an old model yellow sedan was on its side and wasn't in much better shape than Zara's. They'd both been lucky.  
  
He hung onto her limp, battered body tightly, letting out a breath of relief as he made his way to the jet. Bucky was secured and Zara was safe for now. He ran up the ramp, hitting the button on the wall to close it after him. Bucky watched him every step of the way, but stayed where he was, letting Steve carefully lay her down on the bench seat opposite him. He threw a blanket over her, brushing her hair off her face as he fastened a safety belt around her so she was secure. Bucky leaned forward, burying his face in his hands. He couldn't bring himself to look at her a moment longer.  
  
Steve made the call to Tony to tell them he was on his way back, Tony saying he'd be waiting with a team of medics on hand. The jet lifted off gently, Steve pointing it towards the base and glancing over his shoulder to check his passengers. Zara's eyes were closed, but her breathing was rhythmic, much to his relief.  
  
"You okay, Buck?" He called back once they were moving. Steve looked over his shoulder when there was no response, Bucky still sitting, elbows on his knees, and head in his hands.  
"Bucky, it's gonna be alright..."  
"No it's not. I did this to her. I threatened her, I kidnapped her, I... I fucking beat her up..." He said, his voice faltering as his breath picked up pace.  
"That wasn't you-"  
"YES IT WAS! THESE hands did THAT damage" He said gesturing between himself and Zara. "I remember EVERYTHING" Tears pricked his eyes as he struggled to get his composure together. Losing his shit on small mid-air jet wasn't going to be good for anyone, and as far as he was concerned, he'd done quite enough damage for one night.  
  
Steve let out a breath, not quite sure what to say to comfort Bucky. Right now his responsibility was to get them all home in one piece. He pushed the thrusters forward a little harder, Bucky noticing the change in pace.  
  
"Hang in there, Buck... We'll be home soon"


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zara and Bucky reunite

  
  
Zara woke from a dreamless sleep, groggy and a little disoriented. When her vision cleared enough for the room to materialize around her, she relaxed, realizing she was back at Shield. An IV drip hung on a stand to her left, a thin clear tube running into a needle in her hand, and a machine behind it lit up with important information about her vitals.   
There were several bunches of flowers and balloons on the shelf, making the room look vibrant and cheerful. Zara smiled, feeling special for a moment until the bunch of beautiful black and red roses caught her eye on the nightstand to her right. She sucked in a breath, a lump of ice forming in her chest as she suddenly felt a pang of guilt and worry for the person who sent them.  
  
It didn't take long for someone to wander in, the familiar face of an old friend, Dr Sally Reeves. Zara gave her a smile, despite how crappy she was feeling.  
  
"Hey there Zara, nice to see you awake again. How are you feeling?" She asked, her expression warm and friendly as she pulled her tablet out, ready to enter in any new patient data.  
"Is Bucky alright? Where is he?"   
"Bucky's fine, he's up the hall in his own room-"  
"Which room? I need to see him-" Zara said, wincing as she sat herself up  
"Zara, stop" Dr Reeves said, pressing her back down. "You're no use to Bucky or anyone else until you heal, okay? Let me do my job, and I'll answer any questions you have about Bucky afterwards, okay?"  
  
Zara let out a frustrated breath, agreeing to co-operate as Dr Reeves checked her over, changed a few dressings and adjusted her IV.   
"Why do I feel so dizzy?" She asked, feeling the color drain out of her face as a piece of gauze was peeled back from a nasty looking wound low on her stomach near her hip bone.  
"You lost a lot of blood, Zee. We had do go in and place a couple of clamps just here" She said, gesturing at the wound. "Internal bleeds are common in car crash victims."  
"I wasn't the victim, I caused that crash..."  
"Well, you know what I mean. If you get any nausea that will be why as well, we did a minor transfusion, and we're trying to keep your fluids up. You're already looking better than you were on Tuesday night."  
  
Zara's eyes snapped up as she mentally tried to count days in her head.  
"How long have I been out?"  
"A few days"  
"Dr Reeves?"  
"Sally." She corrected her.  
"Sally... I really want to go see Bucky. Is there any way I could go sit with him for just an hour? Please?" Zara asked, worry in her voice. "I'll come back, and I'll stay as long as you tell me to, I just need to see him... Please"  
  
Dr Reeves sighed, running a hand through her hair and bit her lip.   
"I want to say yes, Zara. I really do, but I'm afraid I can't authorize that. Bucky's having tests done to make sure he's safe to be around, and he's been sedated and secured. He'll be okay, but the safety of our team members comes first. I'm sorry..."  
"Who gave those orders? You can see just by looking at him that he's himself. We broke Larson's connection, he's fine."  
"Zara, he ordered the tests and restraints himself."  
"What!?" She snapped, propping herself up again in disbelief, wincing when her stitches pulled. "He ordered himself to be tied up and sedated!? Please Sal, let me go speak to him, he'll be beating himself up, that's all it is. I know him better than he knows himself."  
  
Sally pinched the bridge of her nose, jamming her eyes shut, obviously frustrated by the whole situation.   
"Zara, he specifically asked for you not to be allowed near him, for your own safety..." She said, watching Zara's expression grow more and more frustrated. She raised a finger, making her way to the door and closing it before she came back to the bed, leaning close and keeping her voice down.  
  
"Look, between you and me, He's been difficult to deal with. You know what he's like..." Sally explained, Zara taking the hint and keeping her mouth shut while she listened.  
"He wouldn't let me dig a single bullet out - insisting on doing it himself... Without anesthetic. He won't take painkillers, wouldn't let me give him fluids or medication... Sedatives just don't last on him, one shot gives us around 10 minutes of sedation if we're lucky, if he's riled up, they don't work at all." She explained. "I'm at an absolute loss, Stark said to throw him in a cell until he got over it, but somehow I don't feel like that's a good idea, and I know Barnes pretty well." She said, her voice barely above a whisper.  
  
"Easy, send me in to speak to him..." Zara said back, keeping her voice quiet.  
"Well that's the thing - it's NOT that easy. I suggested that, but the higher ups don't want anyone going in there until he's stable... It's a catch twenty two. He's not going to stabilize until someone talks some sense into him, and he won't listen to me. We even sent Rogers in and that was no good either. I know it's risky, and as your doctor I'd strongly advise against it-"  
"Sal... I'll do it."  
  
  
  
  
Dr Reeves came into Zara's room with a wheelchair several hours later as planned, unplugged her IV and helped move her from the bed to the chair.  
"If anyone says anything, I'm taking you to get some air while they freshen your room up."  
"At 2.45 in the morning?"  
"Your wound started weeping so your sheets had to be changed... Happens all the time, totally plausible excuse."   
  
  
  
They came to a room near the end of the hall with blacked out windows, Zara suddenly feeling nervous of what he might look like, picturing a disheveled version of him.   
"Can you help me up, please?" Zara asked, Dr Reeves obliging. "If I'm up and walking it won't look as bad..."  
  
Dr Reeves nodded in agreement as she reached forward, pressing a switch on the wall, making the glass go from black to clear.   
"One way window he can't see us." She said, reading Zara's worried face. "And the room is soundproof too..."  
  
Zara nodded, gripping the railing to support herself, looking in at him. She felt the ball of ice in her chest melt a little as she watched him sleep, breaths rhythmic and face relaxed. She ran her eyes over him, noticing that his wrists were cuffed with some high tech looking handcuff setup. Other than that he wasn't tied or restrained in any other way. Again, strange for someone who was supposed to be 'secured'.  
She bit her lip, worried that she might cry. One good sign was that at least he looked like he'd showered, he was in clean sweats and a t-shirt, and he'd shaven sometime in the last 24 hours. Whether it was while he was under sedation, or he'd done it himself was anyone's guess. She hoped he was looking after himself.   
  
"You sure about this?" Dr Reeves asked, keeping her voice soft.   
"Yeah, he'll be fine... He sent me flowers, you know..." Zara said, giving a shrug. "He's a good guy, he's just scared."  
  
Dr Reeves nodded, handing Zara the key card she needed to go in.  
"Knock twice before you go in, swipe, wait for the beep and the door will unlatch... And for Christ sakes be careful..." She said, fishing a lanyard from her pocket, handing it to Zara.  
"This is a panic button. If you get into any trouble, or want out, press it. Security will be in here in seconds"  
  
_If Barnes wanted to hurt me, he wouldn't need seconds..._  
  
Zara swallowed, shaking her ridiculous thoughts off, giving Reeves a smile and taking the lanyard.   
"Thank you" She said, "I know you're putting your job on the line for this. If anyone says anything it was all my idea, I snuck in... Just make something believable up. I can talk my way out of whatever trouble I get into."  
"You got it"  
  
Zara knocked on the door twice, watching Bucky's eyes flutter open through the window. She scanned the card and pushed the door open, closing it behind her quietly as she stepped into his view, her hand on the wall to support herself. His eyes were glued to her as if he didn't believe what he was seeing, his expression confused and defensive. Zara stood, lips parted, her breath picking up pace involuntarily. She didn't count on nerves being a part of the deal, but something about the way he looked at her made her blood run cold.  
  
_Shake it off... You're fine, he's fine... Be brave._  
  
Beyond getting into the room itself, she didn't have a clue what she was supposed to say to him, and he sure as hell wasn't saying anything to her.  
A glance at the one way window made her feel incredibly awkward, she hated being watched, always had. She reached up and pulled the string, letting the venetian blind drop down to give them privacy.  
  
"Bad idea Zara, open the blinds..." Came Dr Reeves' warning voice through the intercom.  
"It's fine-" Zara argued, getting cut off by Bucky's angry, raspy voice,  
"It's NOT fine. Get her OUT of here!"   
"Don't you dare, Reeves. I'm fine-"  
"It's NOT SAFE for her to be locked in a room with me, use your FUCKING brain!"  
"Ignore him, we're fine!" She called back, not quite sure if she believed her own words.  
  
Zara and Bucky were locked in a standoff, both of them glaring at each other, Zara shaking, Bucky's chest heaving. There were a few moments of silence, followed by Dr Reeve's voice over the intercom again.  
"Zara?"  
"It's fine... I just want to talk to him, that's all. He won't hurt me..." She said, bravely making eye contact with him, "...Will you, Buck?"  
"I can't make that promise, obviously..." He growled, his jaw clenched angrily and his body tense.  
"If you were going to hurt me you'd have done it already" Zara said, watching him flinch at her words.  
  
"I'm right here if you need me, Zee" Came the voice over the speaker again.  
"Got it"  
  
Zara took a step towards him, her eyes locked onto his as if testing him out, followed by another step. She stopped to take a breath, holding her side where her ribs hurt.  
"I got your flowers..." She said, her voice shaky and uncertain. There were a few moments of silence, Bucky swallowing and looking away for a moment before making eye contact again.  
"Zara, what are you doing here?" he asked, getting straight to the point. She chewed the inside of her cheek nervously.  
"I was worried" She said, her voice feeble and quiet.  
  
He let out a breath, looking her up and down, his expression softening a little.  
"You don't need to worry about me. I'd rather you didn't, actually"  
Zara clenched her jaw, stepping towards him again, making her way around the foot of the bed, gripping the edge of it to support herself.  
"-That's close enough..." He warned, Zara ignoring him as she kept coming.   
"It doesn't matter if I was sitting on your lap or standing by the door. You'd still kill me in a second if you really wanted to," She said defiantly, "So it makes no difference."  
"It makes PLENTY of difference-" He said, raising his voice.  
"-No it doesn't. It doesn't change a damn thing... Shutting me out won't help matters either, while we're at it"  
"Back off, Zara. I mean it."  
"I'm not afraid of you"  
"Yes you are.." He said, those eyes looking into right into her soul. Zara swallowed hard, opening her mouth to speak, only to be cut off again. "And as you should be..."  
"Is that a threat?"  
  
Bucky sucked in a breath, looking her up and down again, his tough expression faltering for a second when he saw her flinch at his words. Zara bit her lip, holding tears back. She let out a breath, composing herself and standing her ground. She shook off her moment of emotion, eyeing him still, waiting for him to say something... Anything.  
  
"No... It's not a threat..." He sighed, glancing hopefully towards the door, and then back at Zara. "I wish I could say I'd never threaten you, but that ship's well and truly sailed, hasn't it?"  
  
Zara gripped the end of the bed, her knuckles white as she steadied herself. She closed her eyes for a second as the sick, dizzy feeling overwhelmed her for a few moments, taking a breath as she waited for it to pass.  
"Mind if I sit?" She asked, looking over to him for permission. He didn't answer her, so she sat at the end of the bed, keeping distance between them.  
  
"Bucky... Those few days we spent in the house, I know it wasn't your fault..." She said, mustering the courage to speak. He gave a sarcastic chuckle, not wanting to believe a word she said.  
"Every threat, every clash... It was all Larson and Ward. It wasn't you..."  
"That's such bullshit Zara, and you know it. You knew it was me, you said things... Personal things..."  
"Of COURSE I did, I was trying to snap you out of it!"  
"Yeah, and I lashed out at you because of it!"  
"Which means it was working!" Zara snapped at him, both of them going quiet for a few moments. "I just wasn't strong enough to break through it. If I'd have been able to hold out for a little longer..." She said, trailing off with a defeated shrug.  
"Then I'd probably have killed you..." He said regretfully, his voice low and sad.  
  
Zara had to tear her eyes away from his, not being able to bear the broken look on his face. His jaw was clenched in an effort to stay strong, but like her, it appeared he was just barely hanging on. She bit her lip again, not allowing it to tremble, wrapping her hands into fists as she fought of the urge to break down and cry right then and there.   
  
"I did everything I did to try and save the both of us, and I know if the roles were reversed, you'd have done the same for me..."  
"Of course I would." He said after a pause, his expression softening a little.  
  
They both let out a breath at the same time, trying to relax in the presence of one and other. Zara looked over, noticing Bucky was watching her, and for a moment she wished she had Candice's powers, what she wouldn't give to know what he was thinking...  
  
"I'm sorry I totaled your car" She said, earning an actual smile and a chuckle off him, which made her smile as well. "At least we know the airbags worked"  
He bit his lip, his laughter turning to sorrow again as a dark cloud seemingly formed over him, his face apologetic and sad. Zara frowned a little at the sudden change in him, and suddenly wanted to reach out and hold him. She moved a little closer and to her surprise he lifted his arms in a wordless invite for her to lay with him, which she took.   
  
She laid her head down on his chest, his arms finding their way around her body gently, despite his cuffed wrists. He laid a kiss on her temple, Zara suddenly not able to take it anymore as tears welled up in her eyes.  
"I'm so, so, sorry, Zee..." He said, his voice cracking. She nodded against him, unable to speak as her emotions overcame her and she choked back a sob, wrapping a fist into his shirt as she clung to him.  
  
They stayed like that for quite some time, Zara pulling herself together as best she could. She let out a breath, hanging onto him tightly still, his warm flesh arm against her back a welcome comfort to her. A glance up at Bucky's face revealed that his eyes were a little wet, bringing back that urge to cry she'd worked so hard to suppress. She bit her lip and held it back, just trying to be grateful that they were together again for now.  
"Are you okay Buck?" She whispered, feeling his chest move as he exhaled at the weight of the question. He shook his head, still holding her against him, muttering a single word in response.  
"No..."   
"I'm here... No matter what" She said quietly, feeling his lips press against her forehead again.  
"I want to ask you the same thing, but it seems like a such a stupid question given the circumstances... How could anyone be okay after something like that?" He mused aloud, his voice low and raspy, "I've been so worried about you. I've been sick worrying... I thought you'd hate me, part of me was HOPING you would hate me, just so you'd stay away... So you'd be safe, but selfishly, on the other hand, I couldn't stand it if you did. Or if you were afraid of me... But I guess I couldn't blame you if that's how you felt."  
  
Zara nodded against him, thinking of what must be going through his head, thinking about what he'd been agonizing over during the past few days.   
"I don't hate you, Buck. Here I was thinking YOU hated ME when I walked in..."  
"No... I just... I didn't trust myself not to hurt you" He said, his voice cracking again as he stopped himself, taking a breath. "I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you, for what I put you through. I remember EVERYTHING. You looking up with me with fear in your eyes, and my hand coming... I see it every time I close my eyes, and I can't stand it. I can only imagine what you must see. I'm so, SO sorry, I wish I could take it all away."  
  
Zara wiped her face, a stray tear escaping despite her best efforts to hold them in. She closed her eyes, snuggling into his warm body, not sure if she was comforting him or herself.   
"It's not your fault..." She whispered, feeling his arm tighten around her, his metal hand gently rubbing her arm. "If we're okay, I'll be okay..."   
  
Bucky nodded, glancing down at her for a moment, his eyes catching her bruised legs emerging from under the hospital gown they had her in. He frowned, imagining what the rest of her must look like...  
"You're so brave" He whispered, his cheek against her head as he held her.  
"I don't feel very brave..."  
  
"Zee, are you okay in there? I gotta get you back to your room, honey" Came the voice over the intercom.  
"Yeah, we're okay. Five more minutes?"  
"Make it a quick 5 minutes..."  
  
Bucky let out a breath, looking down at her again. He held her gently and sat them both up, her face contorted as she clenched her jaw against the pain throughout her body. Her breath picked up a little as he steadied her, looking into her eyes with concern.   
"Where does it hurt?"  
"Everywhere... My ribs and my stomach mostly," She said, a hand going to the site of her gauze covered wound. "My body didn't hold up quite as well as yours did"  
"Well, there's good reason for that" He said, managing a smile which Zara returned. She glanced down to his handcuffs and then back up to meet his eyes again, arching a brow thoughtfully.  
  
"Well, now that we know you're okay, are you going to get rid of those?" She asked, Bucky giving a low chuckle. "As if they'd ever hold you for real anyway..."  
He chuckled again looking down at the seemingly flimsy chain, nodding to her in agreement. He leaned away from her, yanking his arms apart, the cuffs breaking with a loud snap. He let out a sigh of relief, pulling them from his wrists, dropping what was left of them in a pile on the bedside table.  
"I suppose they really WERE pointless..." He muttered under his breath, reaching for her hands to give them a very gentle squeeze.  
"Between those and the sedatives that didn't sedate you..."  
  
"Zara, come on..." Nagged the voice over the intercom again, Zara looking over to Bucky apologetically. "You've just had surgery, we need to get fluids and medicine into you like we talked about."  
"On my way, sorry" She answered.  
"What surgery?" Bucky asked, suddenly worried again.  
"I had some internal bleeding, something in there ruptured and they had to place a few clamps. I'll be fine, just need to take it easy for a little while" She said, his hand finding her cheek, making her breath hitch. He looked at her somewhat cautiously, taking his hand away.  
"Sorry... Tender..." She said, suddenly feeling bad.  
"It's where I hit you, isn't it?" He said, his voice almost a whisper.  
"Um, I'm not sure... But it's okay, really" She said unconvincingly, waving her hand casually as she turned to swing her legs off the bed.  
  
"Zee..." He stopped her, "Don't..."  
"What? It's no big deal, injuries heal. Some faster than others" She joked, swallowing hard as she moved to stand. Bucky was on his feet, helping her before she could tell him not to, much to her annoyance. He paused, one arm holding her, the other tilting her chin gently so she was looking at him.  
  
"Zee... This didn't just happen to one of us" He said, placing a finger over her lips when she went to speak, "It's only natural that you're going to be nervous around me, just like I'm going to be nervous around you."  
"You're nervous around me?"  
"Of course I am. I don't want you to feel threatened or unsafe around me. I don't want to feel like a big scary monster, I want to look after my girl... If she'll let me"  
"That's sweet, but I'll be fi-"   
"Don't argue with me, or tell me that you're fine. You came here off your own back to be here for me, and you better believe I'm gonna be there for you okay?"  
She let out a defeated breath and gave him a nod, his hands hesitantly finding her face again before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. They pulled apart , looking into each others eyes for a few moments, as if studying one and other. Bucky relented, wrapping his arms around her and held her until she relaxed, leaving a feather light kiss on her forehead.  
"I love you, Zee"  
"I love you too..." She whispered.  
  
  
He helped her to the door, holding her up as she swiped the card, the door popping open to reveal the worried face of Dr Reeves.  
"Barnes!? I thought you were cuffed?"  
"I was..."  
Dr Reeves shook her head, not even wanting to go there as she reached out for Zara's hand, helping her into the chair. "Tony knows..." She warned, Zara groaning in response.  
"Knows what?" Bucky asked, looking back and forth between the two.  
"Knows that I snuck her out... And he's gonna kick both our butts if I don't get her back asap" Dr Reeves said, in a hurry to leave. "Actually he's going to kick both our butts regardless, which is why we have to go NOW."  
"I'll speak to him" Bucky suggested.  
"NO" Both Zara and the doctor said at the same time.  
  
Bucky stepped out of the room with a shrug, pulling the door closed behind him.  
"I'm not going to sit in my room, while Stark gives you and her the third degree... Not after what she just did for me" He said, a defiant look on his face as he gestured for Dr Reeves to move over. "I'll push" He added, taking the wheelchair handles.  
"Jesus Christ... I am so fired... Seeya later Shield career..." Came Dr Reeves' worried voice. He turned to give her an exasperated look, the doctor quick to relent and gesture down the hallway. "Don't mind me, Barnes... Go right ahead"  
"Don't worry about Stark, he's just doing the protective thing... Which is fine, but if he gets in your face or Zara's, then I'm going to do MY protective thing."  
  
Zara let out a worried sigh, pushing her hair out of her face. Bucky reached down to her shoulders, giving them a gentle, reassuring squeeze.  
"I don't want a fight-" The doctor started, before being cut off.  
"I don't want to fight with or hurt anyone. I just want to be there for those who were there for me. That's all" He said, Zara's hand finding his on her shoulder. She let out a yawn and nodded, the doctor relenting again, this time happier to do so.   
  
"Let's get moving" He said softly, pushing the chair into motion.  



	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, A little while since my last update, but I had a quiet night and finally got to it, so I hope you enjoy! Thanks for all your comments and kudos as always, absolutely stoked that my other two parts to the story are getting plenty of hits still, too. Thank you all, it's such great writing inspiration. You guys rock :)  
> Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Bucky made his way down the hallway for his usual visit to Zara, a bag of M&M's in his hand which he had dutifully picked up along the way as requested. He slowed his walk, voices arguing in her room catching his attention. He clenched his jaw, suppressing the urge to run in there and save her like a princess from a tower. His thoughts were interrupted when an intern came bursting out the door, obviously frustrated and stomped off down the hallway.  
A glance in the window saw Zara seething, ripping the blood pressure band off her arm and going for the IV. Bucky quickly made his way into the room, closing the door behind him.  
"Zara stop! What's going on?" He asked, grabbing her hand before it tore the needle out.  
  
She recoiled back from his touch, glaring at him for a moment before her expression softened. She swallowed hard, letting out a breath as she calmed herself down.  
"There is nothing physically wrong with me, I don't NEED this stupid thing in, anyway. I just want to go home and rest" She said, her eyes darting to his hand which was still around her wrist. He gave her a look before he let her go, Zara wordlessly taking the hint to leave the needle alone for now.  
"What did the doctor say?" He said, speaking calmly and rationally as he sat on the bed beside her, his hand resting on the other side of her legs as he leaned in to listen to her.  
"I overheard them saying I was fine to leave days ago. The door was open a little and they thought I was asleep." She said, earning a nod from him, "They don't want me to leave yet because they want to send in a shrink to psycho-analyse me, or get me to talk about my feelings, or whatever... Truth is I'm just so tired and I want to go home where I can relax, not sit here under lights and cameras with someone walking in every 5 minutes..." She said, feeling the anger rise up in her again.  
  
Much to her surprise Bucky was very understanding, a small smile crossing his face as he reached over to squeeze her hand, looking over his shoulder at the door and then back to her.  
"I just can't get to sleep, and when I do, every little noise has me awake in a panic. It's actually exhausting being so wired all the time. I just can't relax here... I want to go home" She said, holding back a sob as her voice cracked.  
Bucky frowned, brushing a loose strand from her face, pretending not to notice her flinch at the contact. He exhaled, clenching his jaw for a moment as he thought about her predicament.  
"Let me guess, part of the reason they don't want you going home is because you live with me?" He said after a long pause. Zara nodded without looking at him, biting her lip with a hopeless, defeated look on her face.  
"Zee?" He asked, catching her attention as she made eye contact with him. Bucky's breath hitched as he noticed the bruising that had come out on her cheek and under her eye over the past few days. He swallowed, trying to push it to the back of his mind as he went on.  
"If it helps, I can get you your own room. One call to Stark-"  
"Bucky..."  
"I'm serious" He interrupted her. "Even if it's just while you're recovering. Last thing you need coming out of hospital is the person who put you in here..." He said, his voice trailing off.  
  
There was a silence between them that lasted a few moments, both unsure what to say to the other. Zara hated that Bucky felt so bad even more than she hated the involuntary flinches she couldn't seem to suppress every time he touched her.  
  
"Can I be honest?" She asked finally...  
"Please"  
"I think that spending time apart is going to do more harm than good." She said after a thoughtful pause, raising her finger to stop him before he could argue. "Running away from problems has never fixed them. You don't get over a fear of something without being exposed to it... And I think we both have a little fear of hurting each other to overcome." She said, Bucky nodding in agreement.  
  
He let out a breath, letting his cheeks puff out as he pushed the hair back off his face.  
"You're sure about this?" He asked again. Zara nodded, her hand finding his metal one, her fingers closing around it.  
"We gotta start somewhere" She said bravely, letting out a breath, "I just wanna go home, Buck"  
"Well, you've spent a whole lotta time saving me... Maybe it's time I saved you?" He said, watching a small smile form on her face, her shoulders dropping with relief.  
"I'll let you... Just this once" She chuckled.  
  
He picked up her hand, peeling the plastic off her IV in time for a doctor to burst in the room angrily, striding over to them.  
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded, stopping in his tracks when Bucky glared at him.  
"Get me a cotton ball and some tape" He said, looking up at Zara reassuringly as he pulled the needle from her hand ever so gently and set it aside. The doctor handed him what he needed, Bucky covering up the site of the needle and pulling the rest of the tubes and tape from her skin.  
"You can't do this, I'm calling Mr Stark" The doctor threatened.  
"I think you'll find if you check out her records, she's free to go. Has been for days. I'm taking her home, Stark knows where to find us if there's a problem with that, not that her health is any of his business." Bucky said firmly, the doctor backing off as Bucky stood, helping Zara up.  
"I'll call Stark myself when we get back. That's a promise" She said as she wobbled on her feet a little, grabbing onto Bucky at the same time as he grabbed her.  
  
The doctor rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up with a frustrated groan before storming back out again, Zara looking up at Bucky who was obviously very happy with himself. She tugged the thin blanket from the bed, wrapping herself in it to protect herself against the cold.  
"What?" She asked, "It's freezing in here"  
He chuckled, bending to scoop her up, her eyes widening as she stopped him.  
"I can walk" She blurted out, "really..." her heart racing suddenly. Bucky frowned, worry reaching his eyes as he looked down at her.  
  
_Aaaaaand we're back at square one again. You idiot._  
  
"It'd be easier if I carried you... I won't hurt you, I promise" He said, his voice softening as a reassuring smile crossed his lips, breaking her heart a little.  
"No, Buck... I'm sorry, I wasn't implying that you'd- That anything bad would happen. I just don't want to be a pain, and-"  
"Zee?"  
"Huh?"  
"We've gotta start somewhere, you said it yourself. Remember?"  
"I suppose... I just don't wanna be one of those damsel in distress girls..."  
"Believe me, you're no damsel in distress" He chuckled, watching people in white coats approaching them. "Come on, let's get you out of here before I have to knock heads together" He said, gesturing at the window.  
"Not comforting, Buck..."  
He gave a shrug, putting his arms out. Zara looked out the window, and back to him, letting out a 'here goes' breath before she put an arm around his neck as he scooped her up.  
"See? Not so bad... Let's go home."  
  
  
  
Bucky swiped his card at the door, masterfully opening it one handed while still holding Zara. He stepped through, kicking it shut behind them, pausing to look down at the girl in his arms while she looks nervously up at him. He set her down at her request, not letting go until she'd steadied herself.  
Zara gave him a somewhat strained smile, pulling her blanket up around her shoulders as she peered around the room as if to take it all back in again.  
"Coffee?" Bucky asked, breaking the obvious tension.  
"Huh?" Zara turned to him, having been too caught up in her own head to figure out what he'd said.  
  
Bucky let out a breath, pushing the hair back off his face as he paused for a moment.  
"Would you like some coffee?" He repeated himself.  
"Oh... Yeah that'd be great. I'll help" She said, hitching the blanket up from the floor so she could walk.  
"Zee?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Lay down, relax, and I'll bring it over" He said, somewhat authoritatively.  
  
She did as she was told, making her way over to the couch and plonking herself down, wrapping the blanket tighter around herself as she mentally took a breath. She was home, he was normal, and everyone was safe... But something was off. Why did it feel so weird? She tucked her feet up under herself as she settled, resting her head on the small pile of cushions while she listened to Bucky pottering around in the kitchen, suddenly feeling tired again. Their couch was a damn sight more comfortable than the infirmary bed, and she found herself finally starting to relax, letting her eyelids droop as she let out what could only be described as a breath of relief.  
  
Bucky watched her from the kitchen, turning the thermostat up to warm the room, her pale appearance making her look more fragile than she already did. His eyes wandered over her features as she closed her eyes, guilt welling up within him as he took in the bruising on her cheek and under her eye, the deep cut on her head that had been carefully re-glued, and her split lip. He clenched his jaw, disgusted with himself as the coffee machine went quiet, signifying the first cup was ready. He picked it up, making his way over to her, her eyes still closed as he quietly crept closer. Her blanket had dropped a little, revealing angry looking hand-shaped bruises around her neck, fading to red, irritated skin up around her jawbone.  
Reliving the moment, Bucky didn't even need to close his eyes to see his flesh hand tightening around her throat, her eyes terrified and desperate as he lifted her off the ground. He could still hear her gasping for breath as she kicked and struggled to no avail to get out of his vice like grip, her nails digging into his flesh as she desperately tried to pry his hand open.  
Bucky's chest rose and fell rapidly, looking down at her, his jaw clenched as the hand holding the coffee began to shake, Zara oblivious to him as she dozed peacefully.  
His eyes shot to the cut on her head, his memory transporting him back again. He saw himself step towards the car, his hand around her throat, and all he wanted was for her to shut up and to sit still. She was fighting for her life and all he could see was the inconvenience he was facing if she attracted attention and spoiled his plans, putting his orders in jeopardy. He did what he had to and slammed her into the side of the car, hard enough to daze her, but not hard enough to kill her. There was a satisfaction when her body slumped in his grip, her blood running down the side of her face and onto his hand.  
  
Zara sat up, startled from her spot on the couch, Bucky standing in front of her. The guilt came back when he saw the frightened look in her eyes, much like the look he saw in his dreams and memories. She sat shaking for a moment before her expression went from fear to concern as she struggled to stand.  
"Bucky, what happened?" She gasped, reaching out to his hand. He recoiled back from her, glancing down, noticing blood on his hand. He felt his heart rate pick up as he turned his palm over, the glistening blood matching that that had been on his hands the night he'd taken her... His breathing picked up, Zara becoming worried as she stood before him, not really sure what to do other than snap him out of it.  
"Bucky, let's get you cleaned up" She said, reassuringly as she reached over, gripping him gently by the forearm. He jerked back again from her again, making Zara lose her balance, Bucky having to grab her to stop her from falling.  
  
She looked up at him and gave him a reassuring smile, Bucky still holding her with a look of shock on his face.  
"I almost knocked you over..." He said, an apologetic tone to his voice as he shook his head.  
"I'm fine" Came her reply. "You caught me"  
"I could have hurt you..."  
"But you didn't"  
  
He steered her away from the broken glass on the floor, the remainder of it crunching under his boot as he took a deep breath, getting his head together.  
Zara pursed her lips, reaching out to take his cut hand against his will, turning it over to examine it. "The cut's not deep, let's get you cleaned up"  
  
She pursed her lips, keeping her expression reassuring as she led him slowly to the bathroom. She turned the tap on for him, Bucky stubbornly insisting on cleaning the cut himself. He applied some antiseptic, not bothering to stitch it due to how fast it'd heal on its own anyway.  
He dried his hands, covered the wound and leaned on the counter for a moment. He took a breath and let himself have a moment to clear his head before turning to her.  
  
"I'm sorry, Zee... I don't know what came over me" He said without looking at her. She glanced down at his hands, still gripping the edge of the counter. He hung his head as if ashamed to look at her, Zara biting her lip to hide any trace of emotion she was feeling.  
"It's fine, Buck-"  
"It's NOT fine, Zara. It's the EXACT OPPOSITE of fine" He snapped, looking over at her again as he straightened up, her breath hitching involuntarily. Her jumpy reaction didn't go unnoticed by him, Bucky letting out a melancholy chuckle, knowing he was right about her being frightened.  
Zara grit her teeth, straightening herself up and wearing the bravest face she could plaster on.  
"Bucky, we can't keep going back and forth like this... You broke a mug, I do it all the time it's not a big deal!" She said.  
"I zoned out, I could have hurt you..."  
"You're exhausted, it's any wonder you zoned out for a few seconds. You hurt a cup-"  
"-I crushed it in my bare hands"  
"You can crush CONCRETE in your bare hands - a cup was bound to break one day"  
"And what if I was holding YOU at that very moment!?"  
  
Zara swallowed hard, not sure how to answer him.  
 "You won't hurt me"  
"Well I already DID!" He snapped, pulling her in front of the mirror, yanking down the front of her gown down to reveal the bruising on her neck. She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth as a stray tear rolled down her cheek.  
"I did that to you..." He said quietly, his voice cracking. Zara opened her eyes, meeting his in the mirror, his expression having gone from angry to utterly broken. She wiped her eyes, swallowing down the urge to break down in his arms right then and there.  
  
"I don't think I need to tell you the damage I'm capable of inflicting without even thinking about it... Just LOOK at you" He said, gesturing at her tiny frame, "And then take a look at me... Without the serum a guy my size could snap you in two. With the serum... I could crush you to dust- and then there's my arm" He said, his voice dark and quiet, Zara suddenly not holding her composure so well as she let out a shaky breath.  
"So what are you saying? Are you trying to scare me off or something?" She asked, meeting his gaze in the mirror again.  
"Are you scared?"  
"Of COURSE I am... And so are you" She said, making him flinch a little at her words.  
"Bucky I know EXACTLY what you're capable of... Obviously." She said, reining her emotions back in as hard as she could. "I wouldn't be with you if I didn't want to be... So if this is you changing your mind about me being here, then just say it..."  
  
He grit his teeth, watching her wipe the last of her tears away as she steadied herself.  
  
"I don't want you to leave... Unless you want to, that is..." he admitted, his voice barely a whisper as she turned to face him, leaning on the bathroom counter.  
"But?" She asked, sensing he had more to say.  
"But you're right... I AM afraid. I'm afraid I'll hurt you, or worse, and you're already so fragile" He said, reaching forward to tuck a loose strand of her hair off her face behind her ear.  
"I haven't felt like this since the early days at Shield..." He said, "Only this time I'm afraid of hurting the one person that I should be protecting. How the hell do I protect you from myself?" His voice cracking.  
  
Zara bit her swollen lip, that emotion threatening to overcome her again. She found herself stepping in to wrap her arms around him, gritting her teeth and holding the tears back.  
"I'm not going anywhere Buck. Things have never been easy for us, but we'll get through it... Just like we always do. I trust you."  
  
She felt him nod and let a breath out, his body relaxing a little.  
  
"If you need space, just say the word. Okay?" She offered, pulling away from him. He nodded, managing a small smile as he ran a hand gently over her cheek, leaning in to kiss her on the forehead.  
"I know that it doesn't fix things... But I really am sorry for everything"  
"Stop apologizing for someone else's' wrong doing..." Zara said, running her hands up his chest. "I wasn't the only one hurt by it, so we need to look after each other" She added, her arms finding their way up behind his neck.  
"You're incredible..." He whispered, wrapping his arms around her gently before his lips found hers.  
  
  
  
Zara felt better after a hot shower, getting into her favorite sweatpants and tank top. Bucky set her up on the couch with a movie and a warm blanket, even bringing her a hot drink without any cup casualties or spills this time, which they joked about. He pottered around the apartment cleaning and trying to keep himself busy until Zara finally got frustrated with him and invited him to sit with her. He reluctantly obliged, propping her up as he sat, dropping a cushion down in his lap before laying her head on it gently. She smiled up at him when he brushed her hair back off her face, his flesh hand reaching down to pull her blanket up before it settled on her waist.  
It wasn't long before she drifted off, Bucky understanding how exhausted she must be. She twitched occasionally, her face contorting into the odd frown the way it always did when her dreams were unpleasant. He rubbed her arm and shoulder gently, watching as her face and body relaxed at his touch, smiling with genuine relief that he could still be of some relief to her, despite everything.  
  
Bucky let out a long, slow breath, finally allowing him to relax as well. He knew deep down that she was safe with him, he wouldn't let fear or anger take control of him again. He looked down at her peaceful face, still in absolute disbelief that she'd not only forgiven him, but had the courage to move back home. He brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, making her stir a little, her hand tightening around his thigh as she settled.  
  
A smile crossed his lips, thinking of all they'd been through together. If he was honest with himself, he was a little surprised that she'd been so willing to come back to him. Most girls would run for the hills after being abducted and beaten up by a super soldier, but here she was, laying in his lap.  
Bucky found himself clenching his teeth, the more he thought about Zara's loyalty to him, the more he thought about Grant Ward, Hydra and anyone else who'd threatened them. He realized that nothing more had come about in regards to the soldiers that stormed the house that night, trying to shoot at them when he was still under Larson's power. He made a mental note to mention it to Steve and Coulson, perhaps Hydra's front wasn't as united as they'd like it to be. Perhaps Ward wasn't the almighty leader he thought he was... Surely this could be used against them. A sinister smile crossed his lips at the thought of all the things he'd like to do to Grant Ward.  
  
Zara's phone lit up from its spot on the couch arm. Bucky peered down at it, a worried message from Stark along with two missed calls. He rolled his eyes, picking it up and unlocking it.  
  
_Tony Stark 4.55pm_  
_Are you okay Jones? I heard Robocop busted you out of the infirmary and you were supposed to call me. You've got 5 minutes or I'm coming down there in the suit._  
  
_Zara Jones 4.56pm_  
_She's fine, showered and asleep. No need to dust off your party frock. -Robocop._  
  
_Tony Stark 4.56pm_  
_Hopefully she's asleep of her own accord, and not because you put her to sleep. Lay a hand on her again, and you'll wish you were back at Hydra. Night._  
  
_Zara Jones 4.57pm_  
_She's safe with me now, no thanks to you and your shitty mind shields. Night. -B_  
  
Bucky locked the phone, setting it face down on the arm rest. He wasn't in the mood for going back and forth with Stark, not today. He let out a frustrated breath, looking back down at Zara, sleeping peacefully in his lap still. She was his priority, nobody else's.  
A knock at the door disrupted his thoughts, Zara jumping in her sleep. She stirred, groaning a little as she moved to sit up. Bucky rubbed her shoulder, clenching his jaw with annoyance at whoever had woken her. Another knock had him livid as he lifted her and gently laid her back down again.  
"You're alright baby... Stay asleep" He whispered, laying a kiss on her temple. She screwed her face up again before relaxing, Bucky relieved when she fell asleep again within seconds.  
  
He strode across the room, opening the door angrily.  
"Stark. What the hell do YOU want!?" He demanded, keeping his voice down as he eyed the man down who stood before him.  
"Oh I want a whole lot of things, Barnes, but I'm not suited up for THAT." He spat, angrily.  
"She's trying to sleep, what's your problem? If you're here to start a fight, I'm not up for it. I've got more important things to worry about, and so do you"  
"I'm not here to fight with you, Barnes. As much as I'd like to rearrange that face of yours..." He said, taking a breath. "Just so you know, that I hate what happened just as much as you do."  
"What's your point?" Bucky snarled at him, growing tired of arguing.  
"I'm worried... A bunch of us are worried, she means a lot to us..."  
"She means a lot to me, too"  
"Fine, here it is then... We're not convinced that you're one hundred percent stable-"  
"-What are you suggesting" Bucky asked, narrowing his eyes.  
  
Tony let out a breath, frustrated as he pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"Candice is coming back" He started, pausing for a moment as he looked up at Bucky. "I want to trial a new device, and I think you'd be a good candidate-"  
"Candidate for what, for someone else to get into my head!?" He snapped, stepping towards Tony.  
"Well, yeah. I figure she can make sure you're, well, healthy upstairs... And then we can make sure this doesn't happen again" Tony said, standing his ground.  
  
Bucky blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't think it was a bad idea, he just didn't feel like placating him after the all the blame and threats.  
"I'll think about it" He said with a shrug, a bored expression on his face. Tony gave him a nod, reading into it as much as he needed, deciding it was as much as an agreement as he was going to get.  
"Let me know..." Came Tony's reply as he gave Bucky a nod and took a step back. "Look after her, okay?"  
  
Bucky glared at him, not sure if he appreciated Stark's concern or not.  
"Of course" He said after a moment, deciding it was the quickest way to get rid of him. Tony's expression softened a little, not quite into a smile, more of an 'acknowledgement' if anything. Bucky stepped back into the apartment, closing the door quietly, locking it behind him.  
  
"What was that all about?" Zara mumbled, looking up from her blanket cocoon.  
"Dick measuring contest more than anything" Bucky said, an annoyed tone to his voice as he made his way back over to her. "You okay there, I can carry you to bed if you want to sleep" He offered.  
"Do you mind if I stay here?" She asked, yawning.  
"Of course you can stay there" He smiled, looking up at the TV, her movie still going in the background  
"Buck?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Will you come sit with me again?"  
"Sure I will" He said, warmth in his voice again.  
  
It didn't take long for her to snuggle back into him again, her body relaxing into his touch, much to his relief. He laid back into the cushion, watching the movie, his eyes darting down to check in on her ever so often. His mind went to Tony's proposal, helping him develop and test a new mind control shield. As much as he hated to admit it, it really was a good idea as much as he hated having someone snooping around in his head.  
  
_It's worth it if it keeps her safe..._  
  
He pushed the hair back off his face with his free hand, his mind made up. He'd call Tony in the morning.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone - HUGE chapter for you all! My way of saying sorry I've been away for so long :P Hope you enjoy, thank you for all the hits and kudos, and a big welcome to all the new readers who have gone back and read the other two installments. You guys rock!  
> This chapter sees Bucky and Zara together for their first night post-Hydra drama. Things are tense, but Zee tries her best to tough it out despite her own apprehensions, and try to make it work. Someone unexpected makes contact with her...  
> Enjoy! :) Luv Kaytee xx

  
  
Zara woke up with a gasp from her dream, an arm tightening around her before she had the chance to get her bearings back. She pushed against her attacker, palms against his broad, firm chest as she struggled against him. She HAD to escape, every attack had gotten worse and worse, and now she was in his clutches again and couldn't fight her way free. Another strong arm grabbed her, a cold metal arm and it was at that point she knew she was dead. She struggled harder against him, her heart racing and her head spinning in a daze as she fought with her whole body to get away.  
"No, no, no!" She cried, her fists coming down against him. She felt her breath leaving her as he called her name over and over, not sure what game he was playing now.  
The room lit up a second after she realized she was pinned, stunning her for a moment as her eyes adjusted to the sudden change.  
  
"Zara... It's me..." Came the voice hovering over her, Zara squinting up at him as he released her.  
  
Her vision cleared and Bucky materialized in front of her with a very worried look on his face, Zara still gasping for breath. She sat herself up and pushed the damp hair back off her face with shaking hands, her eyes darting around the room before landing back on his.  
"I'm sorry" She breathed, mortified, scooting herself off the bed. She found her sweatpants on the floor beside her and yanked them on, making a haphazard dash for the wardrobe and pulling a jacket out.  
"Zee, it was just a nightmare, what are you doing!?" Bucky asked, feeling both confused and helpless as he made his way over to her. He reached out, stopping her as she thrust an arm into the sleeve of her jacket, recoiling a little at his touch.  
"I just need air" She said, breath still heaving. She zipped the jacket up, yanking a pair of wool-lined boots on.  
"I'll come with you"  
"No, I just need a few minutes of air, I'll be back. It's not you, I just need... Just... I'll be back, I promise" She said, pulling a scarf from the hook and wrapping it around her neck as she made a beeline to the door.  
  
  
  
Zara made her way down the hallway quickly, making sure she wasn't followed, and took the next stairwell to the highest balcony she had access to, half jogging, half pulling herself up the stairs by the hand rail. She pushed the external door open, the cold air hitting her lungs like a kick to the chest... But one she felt she needed to knock the sense back into her. She made her way to the glass railing, leaning against it as she dragged a much needed deep breath in, closing her eyes.  
It was raining heavily outside again, the sound of it somewhat soothing to her as she took several more deep breaths, stifling a sob. Zara opened her eyes, grateful she'd run out to one of the covered over balconies. It was cold, but at least she was dry. She pulled up one of the outdoor chairs beside the glass and sat herself down on it as her hands went to her pockets, grateful to find what was left of her last pack of cigarettes.  
She smiled to herself as she pulled one out, put it in her mouth and cupped the end so she could light it. With the first exhale, she felt stress leave her body along with the smoke. Her shoulders dropped as she relaxed, shoving the lighter back in her pocket as she wiped the sweat off her face. She leaned against the back of the chair, suddenly feeling bad for running out on Bucky in the middle of the night. She knew him well enough to know that he'd be worried sick, and he'd either be pacing back and forth in the apartment, or he'd have followed her. She was hoping it wasn't the latter, in any case she'd have to get over her little 'moment' as quickly as possible'  
  
She let out another long breath, noticing she was still shaking, her thoughts going to her dreams. Frustratingly, they'd been the same all week, the worst one being tonight. Was it his presence that set her off? Maybe it was the talk they'd had after he'd broken the stupid coffee mug?  
She tried to shake it off, taking another breath of her cigarette, suddenly feeling hit by an unavoidable wave of emotion. Her lip trembled and despite herself she didn't try to stop it now that she was alone. It was almost a relief when the first few tears fell, if she wasn't so damned shaky and confused she might have even enjoyed the release it should have brought her.  
  
The door behind her was pushed open, catching her by surprise, Zara wiping her cheeks dry with the back of her hand as she shook the emotion off like flicking a switch. She glanced down at the cigarette, deciding it was too late to hide it. Whoever was coming through that door would no doubt be able to smell it.  
"Hey" came a familiar voice she hadn't heard in a while.  
"Sam?"  
"The one and only" He said with a beaming smile, stepping towards her, pulling up the other outdoor chair. "What are you doing out here, Jones?" He asked, catching sight of her face, frowning suddenly.  
  
Zara plastered on her best embarrassed smile, waving cigarette sheepishly between two fingers.  
"Busted..." She said with a shrug, butting the last of it out, blowing the smoke away from him as she shoved the butt into her pocket. "Bad habit" She added.  
"No, I could see you were having a smoke... I meant what are you doing out here at almost three a.m in the freezing cold?" He asked, looking into her eyes.  
"Just couldn't sleep" She said with a smile and a shrug as she leaned forward to stand, Sam standing at the same time. "I need to lay off the coffee" She chuckled awkwardly.  
"Zeej..." He said, his voice taking on a rare, serious tone, making her swallow hard, "I wasn't born yesterday... You wanna talk about it?"  
"Talk about what? I just couldn't sleep, it happens sometimes" She said, looking everywhere but his face, "Could ask you the same question - why are you out so late?"  
"Just got back from a mission," He clarified, letting out a long breath, cocking his head to get her eye contact back. "Come talk to me anytime, okay? I'm good at this stuff, ask anyone" He added, beaming her a smile which she couldn't help return.  
Zara gave him a nod, her eyes darting to the door behind him and then back to his face as she opened her mouth to speak.  
"I appreciate it, thanks, but I'm fine..." She said, rising to her feet, "Better get back, good to see you again, Sam" She smiled, ducking past him towards the door.  
"You too, Jones" he said quietly, watching her as she left.  
  
  
  
Zara got back the apartment, letting out a breath as she turned the door handle, pushing the door open. She stepped in to find the room empty and dark, save for the lamp in the living room. She hung her jacket over one of the dining room chairs, giving her hair a quick sniff to make sure it wasn't smokey. She locked the door, kicking her boots off near the entrance and she tiptoed towards the bedroom. She slowed down as she passed the bed, his familiar shape under the quilt. Guilt set back in...  
She continued on to the en-suite, brushing her teeth and washing her hands and face. A glance in the mirror revealed two very red eyes, and flushed cheeks from the cold. She glanced down at her hands as she dried them with the towel on the rack, followed by her face.  
  
_Oh well, at least it's dark. He won't see my eyes..._  
  
She hung it back up, along with her damp sweatpants and socks, stopping for a moment to consider a hot shower.  
  
_No, it's late..._  
  
Zara nodded to herself, hugging her cold body as she turned the light out and tiptoed past the bed where she paused.  
  
_Maybe I should just sleep on the couch? I don't want to wake him up a second time..._  
  
"Zee..." Came his husky voice, the quilt moving as he rolled over.  
"I'm just going to crash on the couch, it's not fair with me tossing and turning all night..." She whispered, Bucky answering her with an annoyed sigh.  
"Come here" He said, reaching a hand out to her. She clenched her jaw, walking over to him despite herself. She gave him her hand, Bucky lifting the quilt for her. "You're freezing. Get under here..."  
  
Zara let out a breath, getting into bed, Bucky scooting over to make room for her, the sheets still warm from him. She laid herself down against him, her head on his chest, snuggling in close. He wrapped an arm around her hesitantly, Zara relaxing under it.  
"Sorry for my little freak out before..." She whispered, tilting her head so she could lay a kiss under his jaw. He turned his head enough to kiss her back, Zara closing her eyes when their lips made contact.  
"We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?" He said gently, stroking her arm.  
"There's nothing to talk about, it was just a stupid dream. I'm fine now" She said, "as long as you're here..." She said, letting out a puff of breath, Bucky pulling her in tighter, laying a kiss atop her head.  
"You've got me, I'm not going anywhere... But we're still going to talk about it tomorrow, okay?"  
  
_Yeah, we'll see..._  
  
She closed her eyes again without answering, sleeping through the rest of the night without incident.  
  
When Zara woke she was on her side, Bucky curled up behind her, arms protectively wrapped around her like usual. She stirred, giving him a light tap on the forearm, Bucky letting her go without waking up. She tiptoed to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and washing her face while she was in there, not feeling like going back to bed.  
She snuck out, past the bed without waking him to get dressed, put the coffee machine on and made a phone call down to see if Dr Reeves was awake to change her dressings.  
Zara smiled to herself feeling organized as she made her way over to the window, peering out at the word as she woke up with it, steam rising from the warm mug in her hands. She stretched her sore neck both ways, keeping an eye on the time and was surprised Bucky hadn't gotten up until she saw him appear in the bedroom doorway.  
  
"Hey" She said to him, offering a smile.  
"Hey"  
 "Machine's on" She added, nodding over to the coffee maker. Bucky smiled a tired, morning smile as he walked over to her, hugging her from behind and laying a kiss on her cheek.  
"You look tired" She said, "sorry I kept you up half the night"  
"Don't worry about it, I'm having trouble sleeping too" He admitted, "Why are you up so early?"  
"Reeves wanted to change my dressings and just check everything out. I woke up and remembered, so I gave her a call. I'll head down there after I finish this" She said, nodding down to her mug.  
"Want me to come with you?" He asked a little hesitantly, not wanting to be intrusive.  
"You can if you want... But it's just a bandage change and quick check-up, it'll only take a few minutes" She smiled, feeling him nod behind her.  
"I might hit the gym then and catch up with you when you get back?" He suggested, Zara turning around to give him a kiss before finishing her drink.  
"Sounds perfect, that'll give me time to give JJ a call, too, she'll probably drop by... With cake, knowing her!"  
"JJ?"  
"Jess!" She chuckled, "Middleton? Red hair?"  
"Oh, the one who doesn't shut up?"  
"Yes. That would be the one"  
  
Bucky let out a laugh, thinking of the bubbly redhead, his face lighting up as he remembered something important.  
"Before I forget, I something for you." He said, dashing over to the kitchen counter, Zara's interest piqued. He unplugged a shiny black handset, a few taps on the screen bringing it to life as he handed it to her.  
"Your phone was recovered the other day... And it wasn't really salvageable... But the sim card survived. All your numbers are in there, Tony transferred all your stuff across. There was a heap of new messages in there, which have mostly been opened as they had to run a diagnostic on it... But yeah... You have a phone again"  
"Thanks... Guess I just have to work out how to use the damn thing now" She chuckled, turning it over as if examining it, "Looks like It's not too much different to the one I've been using this week... I suppose that one can go back to Tony, then?"  
"I can take it back if you like, I needed to catch up with him this morning anyway" he said with a casual shrug, not caring to elaborate any more.  
"Was anything else recovered?" She asked, curiosity getting the better of her. Bucky let out a long breath, pushing the hair back off his face the way he always did when he was stressed.  
  
"Weapons, clothes... The car..." He said, his voice quiet. Zara swallowed hard, regretting asking him the question at all. "A photograph..."  
  
Zara sucked in a breath, the memory of the crumpled photo threatening to be her undoing right there. She cleared her throat, shaking it off as she glanced at the shiny screen of the new phone in her hand.  
"Oh god, I'm late... I'd better go" She said awkwardly, "Thanks for the phone"  
"No sweat" He said, the two of them hesitantly stepping in for a quick kiss before Zara bolted out the door.  
  
  
  
Zara walked into the infirmary and sat herself down on the bench, looking up to see Reeves talking to someone important looking. She raised five fingers, an apologetic look on her face to tell Zara she'd be five minutes away, tops. Zara gave her a smile and a wave to tell her it was okay, and leaned back against the wall, her eyes peering down at the phone in her hand. She unlocked it, finding the operating system quite similar to her old one, much to her relief.  
She found the inbox and scrolled through, her chest tightening at the sheer amount of missed calls. Stark, Rogers and Coulson racking up the most. No doubt Stark had tried to track her, Coulson too... She swallowed hard, scrolling through, finding worried messages from Jess and Sam among all the others. That 'ball of ice' feeling swelled up in her throat as she kept scrolling on through, suddenly feeling awful for all those who had tried to reach her.  
A text was there from Jessica Jones, hitting Zara with another pang of guilt when she realized it was accompanied by a missed call. The message was a 'Jessica version' of an apology for their last phone call, and an invitation to meet up for a talk. The date stamp on the message told her it was sent almost a week ago.  
  
Just great...  
  
"Zara" Came a voice in front of her. She gasped in surprise, her eyes darting up from the screen to meet those of Dr Reeves. "You okay?"  
"Yeah" She said breathlessly, nodding as she shoved the phone in her jacket pocket, standing up a little too quickly.  
  
Dr Reeves pursed her lips and frowned, letting out a breath. "Come on, let's get you checked over."  
  
  
  
"The incision wound is looking great, and all the superficial cuts and bruises are making headway" Dr Reeves said with a smile. "These deeper ones might take a little while, but good news is that nothing's infected. I'll give you some gauze and tape, you can take the dressing off to have a shower, just be gentle and don't scrub at it. Pat dry, and cover up it again so you don't scratch it or knock it..." She added thoughtfully trailing off as if she was trying to think of anything to add.  
"Thanks, Sal. Appreciate it" Zara said, returning the smile.  
"I think that's all, BP's good, temp and reflexes are good... Are you still feeling light headed or nauseous at all?"  
"Only if I stand up too quick, I haven't felt sick really since I've been home."  
"Sleeping okay?"  
"All I've done is slept..."  
"Good, good..." Dr Reeves added, typing into her tablet for a moment. "The dizziness will pass, that's just a side effect of concussion. If you're not feeling nauseous anymore, then that's a good sign you're at the tail end of it all" She said, sitting back down on her stool in front of Zara, looking her in the face.  
"How's everything else going? Things okay at home so far?"  
  
Zara shifted uncomfortably on the edge of the examination table, clearing her throat before answering.  
"Yeah, well I've only been back for one night, but it's good to be home" she said, nodding to herself, and giving a smile.  
"Can I get the truth this time?" Reeves said, giving Zara a knowing look, "I don't need to remind you I've got quite a few psych qualifications do I?"  
"No, I'm well aware of that..." Zara answered flatly. "I'm fine, it IS a little weird, but Bucky's been great. I just have to settle back in. It's really not a big deal, I've been hurt during missions before"  
"Not by people you were close to-"  
"-Friendly fire happens, and we're trained to deal with it" She said firmly, holding the eye contact.  
"Zara, I'd like to organize another appointment with you for in maybe three or four days time. I'll call through and let you know when I'm free. I'd like to have a nice, long chat with you"  
"About?"  
"About this" Reeves said, gesturing at Zara as a whole.  
"I'm not up for a sit down chat, Sal. I'll answer all your questions right here but I'm not doing the couch thing..."  
"I'm afraid that's not your choice to make"  
"Yeah backing me into a corner is going to do a whole lot of good isn't it?" Zara snapped, her face aggressive now.  
  
Dr Reeves let out a long breath, pushing the hair back off her face as she thought about her next move.  
  
"Zara, I don't want to fight you on this... I'm your friend, and I'm here to help you, okay? I've never done wrong by you before, and I'm not about to start now" She said, Zara's face softening a little as some of the tension drained out of her.  
"You're acting out defensively because you're feeling vulnerable. I get that, and there's nothing wrong with it, especially after what you've been through"  
"This is ridiculous. I'm acting out in frustration because I'm FEELING frustrated. I don't feel vulnerable, I feel ANNOYED"  
"Well for you to react so strongly to a particular line of questioning means that you feel effected by the subject matter..."  
  
Zara rolled her eyes, jumping down from the table as she reached for her jacket.  
"Zee, STOP. I'm sorry" Reeves said, jumping to her feet and stepping in the way of the door.  
"I think we're done here" Zara said, looking up at the doctor, jaw clenched.  
"Just STOP! How about I cut you a deal?"  
  
Zara blew out a breath, arching a brow as she listened.  
"We skip the sit down for now, while you settle in, but down the track if I feel like you need it, you come and participate without all the drama? Okay?"  
"Fine."  
"Are we okay, you don't hate me?"  
"No, so long as you knock the 'vulnerable' crap off"  
"No promises there" Reeves chuckled, Zara's expression softening in return, "Just don't be so afraid of your feelings, it's okay to feel vulnerable to me, or to Bucky..."  
"Everyone's vulnerable to him."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Seeing what he can do, and how fast he can do it... Just standing in the same room as him you don't realize just how vulnerable you really are" She said, nodding towards the scar under Reeves' eye. "You of all people should know that"  
  
  
  
Zara made her way back to the room, keeping her head down and her hands in her pockets. She didn't stop till she'd swiped her card in the reader, and stepped in the door. She closed it behind her, leaning against it for a moment as she let a breath out, her eyes scanning the room.  
"Bucky?" She called out, relieved when there was no answer. She locked the door behind her, kicking her boots off and making her way to the couch. There were no new calls or messages on her phone, so she decided to use the time she had alone to return those that she couldn't over the last week.  
She called Jessica Jones, not surprisingly there was no answer, so she left a message explaining that she'd been 'indisposed' and apologized that she hadn't called back sooner... She tried calling JJ, again not getting through. She left a message before getting back up off the couch, shoving her phone in her back pocket as she peered around the room, hugging herself against the shivers.  
  
The door clicked loudly as the handle moved, making her jump as it opened. Bucky stepped in, looking tired but not sweaty... Zara smiled at him when they made eye contact.  
"No gym time?" She asked,  
"No, I had a meeting with Stark about some new tech" He said, closing the door behind him. "How'd your appointment go?"  
"Great, healing well and all my results came back healthy" She said, watching his face light up at her good news.  
  
Zara bit her lip, feeling her heart race as he approached her, the conversation with Reeves playing over in her head again...  
  
_I'll show you who's not vulnerable... Here goes nothing..._  
  
She strode over to him and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, planting a big kiss on his lips, pressing her body into his. She felt his arms wrap around her hesitantly, so she went in again, kissing him more slowly this time, letting it build, giving him confidence to relax into it and tighten his grip on her.  
"What's this all about?" He asked, pulling back enough to look into her eyes.  
"I missed you..."  
"We only saw each other an hour ago"  
"That's not what I'm talking about, Buck. I miss you. I miss us... I miss this" She said, one of her hands lazily playing with his hair.  
"I do too, more than you know" He admitted, worry on his face. "Are you sure you're okay with all this?"  
"I'm sure I'm over people asking me if I'm okay" She quipped, leaning in to kiss him, Bucky pulling back.  
"I'm only asking because I care, not because I think you're weak" He said, Zara nodding before letting him kiss her again, her heart racing at full speed.  
"Your heart's racing"  
"You're a good kisser, what do you expect?" She answered, Bucky chuckling to himself as he backed off again.  
"Did I do something wrong?" She asked nervously.  
"No, not at all..." He said, "come here" he added, taking her hands as he led her over to the couch where they sat down.  
"I get the feeling you're trying to prove a point to either me or yourself..."  
"I kinda am, I guess" She admitted, feeling embarrassed suddenly. "I just wanted to show you that I'm okay, and I'm not... Afraid of you, or anything. Which is what I think you've been worried about?"  
  
Bucky nodded thoughtfully, letting out a breath and giving her a warm smile.  
   
"That's okay then" He said, "Just so long as you're not doing it to throw yourself in the deep end... I know what you're like" He added, nudging her knee with his, playfully.  
"I'm fine. I think that if everybody worried a little less about how 'poor little Zara Jones' is feeling, and more about this Hydra situation, we'd all be much better off." She said, changing the subject back to business. "I'm more concerned with the fact that we were attacked by Hydra soldiers, and wanting to know why, and also what's going on with Ward..."  
"I know you are, we all are... But right now, my priority is you" He said sternly, Zara letting out a frustrated breath.  
"Well your priorities are backwards then" She sassed, Bucky giving her a look to let her know her comment wasn't appreciated. She blew out a breath, frustrated with herself, and the conversation as she stood up to leave, Bucky grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her back down, gently. She landed in his lap, a somewhat shocked look on her face.  
  
"My priorities are just fine..." He said authoritively, "And I won't stop worrying about you until the day I die. Got it?"  
  
Zara drew in a breath, nodding obediently, not quite sure what to say.  
  
"Coulson has a team looking into the Hydra situation, and Stark is developing AND testing mind shields that work. I'm helping him. All that's left to do, is to make sure that you and I are okay. Okay?"  
"Okay" she said quietly, nodding. "I can call a few contacts about Ward and Larson, get some eyes out, especially if they've gone to ground-"  
"You've done enough. You just risked your life to save the both of us. Again."   
"And you'd have done the same thing if the roles were reversed, it's not a big deal, Buck"  
"Zara, it's a HUGE deal... I don't know whether to be annoyed that you put your life on the line for me - again... Or be literally worshiping the ground you walk on for it."  
"Option number two sounds nice..." She mused aloud.  
"I already worship the ground you walk on, you know that... My point is, you're not invincible, and it worries me the lengths you'll go to..."  
"What was I supposed to do? Let you take me to Hydra to be killed or captured? See you wiped and dumped in a freezer or sent back out to do 'missions' for them?"  
  
Bucky sighed, brushing her hair away from her face as he cupped her cheek, leaning in to kiss her.  
  
"I don't like what you did, but I'm pretty damn grateful you did it... I'll never be able to make it up to you"  
"Just cut me a little slack, and we'll call it even. Okay?" She said, her voice quiet.  
"No promises, but I'll try. You won't look after yourself so someone's gotta do it" He chuckled, earning a genuine smile from her.  
  
Zara's phone vibrating caught their attention, Bucky reaching to the floor where it had fallen to pick it up. He handed it to her, Zara frowning when a number she didn't recognize popped up on the screen. She ignored the call, giving Bucky a shrug before leaning over to kiss him.  
"I need a hot shower" She said, letting out a breath. "Reeves gave me some fresh gauze and tape, so I'm going to go enjoy a proper one and have some girl time" She added, Bucky helping her to her feet.  
"Sounds good. Maybe I'll go see if I can round Steve up. Him and Sam got back last night from a mission. Wouldn't mind catching up"  
  
Zara gave him a smile and a nod, Bucky leaving a kiss on her forehead before she got up and headed for the bathroom door.  
"See you in a couple of hours" He said, picking his jacket up off the back of the chair.  
"Have fun!" She grinned, giving a wave as he left the room.  
  
Zara stepped out of the steaming shower with a relaxed smile on her face, the smell of fruity body wash filling the bathroom. She wrapped herself in a towel, giving her wet hair a rub, and wrapping it up in another as she hummed to herself.  
She was suddenly distracted by her phone, the text alert going off. Curious, she picked it up, wiping the steam from the glass cover as she opened it.  
  
_Unknown, 9.43am_  
_Why don't you answer your phone, Zara? I miss you..._  
  
_Zara, 9.43am_  
_I don't have your number, sorry... Who is this?_  
  
_Unknown, 9.44am_  
_I'm insulted! ;) I'm an old friend. We have history together. Can you guess who yet?_  
  
_Zara, 9.44am_  
_Who is this? Seriously?_  
  
_Unknown, 9.44am_  
_Someone who still has the taste of your lips on his... You stood me up_  
  
  
_Zara, 9.45am_  
_If this is a joke, you're not funny. I'm about a second away from tracing your phone and coming to find you_  
  
_Unknown, 9.45am_  
_I'm hoping you do, and bring your metal-armed friend along with you. We have unfinished business... And so do we, Zara._  
  
_What the fuck!? Taste of my lips? Unfinished business with Bucky and I?_  
  
Zara rolled her eyes, dropping the phone back down on the counter as she went to the bedroom to dress herself again, pulling comfy sweat pants on. Her phone buzzed again as she pulled a tank top on over her head, straightening it over her body. She let out an annoyed breath, stomping back into the bathroom to check her phone again.  
  
_Unknown, 9.49am_  
_Don't be like that, ignoring my messages... We had a date, and you ruined it_  
  
_Zara, 9.50am_  
_Okay loser, you're messing with the wrong person. I warned you..._  
  
_Unknown, 9.50am_  
_Good, get angry. Come and get me. Bring the asset with you and wear that little white dress you had on in Bora Bora... P.S, hope our pictures turned out well. I wouldn't mind a copy of those ;)_  
  
_Holy fuck... HOLY FUCK..._  
  
Zara's heart raced and she found herself pacing back and forth just to get her head together. Her mind was going a million miles per hour, first instincts were to hide the messages and try to work them out, second instinct screaming at her to get Bucky on the phone right this second...  
  
_Maybe I call Tony and have him trace the number? But that's what they want, they want me to go to them. THEM? Why am I saying that, there's only one person who saw me in Bora Bora other than Bucky. The only other person with a Polaroid camera and a very sick sense of humor... Which means he's been waiting for me... Don't keep him waiting any longer. STALL HIM..._  
  
_Zara 9.52am_  
_I'll be in touch, Ward. See you real soon, Z._


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another angsty chapter for you guys - Bucky and Zara still trying to relax into each others' company. Zara falls apart a little and starts plotting to try and save them from Ward and Hydra once and for all, but it won't be easy when someone starts suspecting she's up to something... Things are definitely going to get serious for B & Z over the next few chapters...  
> Thanks for reading, everyone! Hope you enjoy this one :) Luv, Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Zara paced back and forth, eyes on the clock for a moment as she tried to work out what to do about the text messages that were SUPPOSEDLY from Ward. She ran her hands through her hair, pausing for a moment as she drew in a breath.  
  
_No. This is ridiculous. You've been through worse, don't lose your head over a text message. Or multiple text messages as it were... How do you know if it was Ward? It could have been any one of his goons, it could be someone playing a sick joke..._  
  
She shook her head at her own musings, realizing she was pacing again. She told herself firmly to sit down, a decanter of something that looked like scotch or bourbon catching her eye.  
  
_Well you DO need to relax..._  
  
She let out a breath, getting up to pour herself a glass, bringing the decanter with her and setting it down on the coffee table in front of her. She pulled the lid off and gave it a sniff, coming to the conclusion that it was almost certainly whiskey. She poured herself a glass, gulping it down straight, scrunching her face up as she swallowed the last mouthful.  
  
_Okay... So back to the Ward situation... First of all, texting is really not his style, especially given the effort he went to on the island. UNLESS things are getting a bit crazy in Hydra's camp. That would certainly explain Hydra soldiers shooting at me, and their precious asset. Why would they endanger him when he is so important to their cause? A containable super weapon that works on command... They'd be crazy to try and kill him... Unless they were just trying to subdue him, which is what I'd tried to do... Obviously they'd given him more credit than I had..._  
  
She poured another glass, necking it straight, thinking of the amount of bullets she'd unloaded into him. He'd barely even stumbled, coming after her like death itself. She shook the memory off, getting back to business.  
  
_Okay, and what about Bucky? If I tell him, he's only going to fly off the handle, and go into angry, protective mode... Are you really ready to face angry Bucky again? ...Yeah, didn't think so... But then again he'll be pissed if you don't tell him won't he?_  
  
Zara reached out to the decanter and took a big swig straight from the bottle, followed by another.  
  
_Wouldn't you rather do a bit of research and present him with facts? Beats the hell out of doing the scared little girlfriend thing and hiding behind him. Ward isn't only tormenting Bucky, he's tormenting YOU as well. The only thing that comes to mind is that fucking dream... He takes you both, and uses you for psychological torture to keep Bucky 'motivated'. They don't have their mind wiping machine, nor will the code-words work on him anymore. Without that tech all they have are the odd few telepaths. That's probably not enough control on it's own, especially if they burn out or die..._  
  
She sat up, reaching for the remote control to the stereo to turn it on, hoping that background noise would help her think a little more rationally. She hit play, Bucky's iPod coming to life in the dock, a favorite song of hers coming on. She laid back down on the couch, drumming along on her thighs with the music as she confronted her thoughts again.  
  
_Okay... So the plan is to not make a big deal of this, you don't even know how legitimate it all is, and if it really is him, then you know things are desperate if he feels the need to flush you out of hiding. You're going to need to trace the phone number if you can, and maybe do a ring around, see if Jessica can bring up any leads from her office. Maybe you can get Tony onto it, you just have to think of a way to bring it up that will keep Ward's name OUT of it..._  
_Yes, this is good..._  
When you get the chance, trace the number. If you can't find a location, chances are he's used his brain and it's him. If you get an obvious signal, then it could be a lure. Fucking hell, it makes no difference really, does it!?...  
The next stage is up to you. Maybe you can go down there and blow the base up. It wouldn't be the first time you've done it. Hell, this time you'll have a fair idea of what NOT to do, and if you leave Bucky out of it, then there's zero chance of another brainwashing, especially if Larson dies as well.  
  
Zara smiled to herself for a moment, letting out a breath as her expression was once again replaced by one of worry. Bucky wouldn't like it, but then again, Bucky wouldn't have to know... He could get as mad as he liked, but at the end of the day he'd be safe, and then by default, she'd be safe as well. Then they could go back to being together without fear or any of the shit they'd been plagued with since, well... forever.  
  
"Some say a comet will fall from the sky, followed by meteor showers and tidal waves. Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still, followed by millions of dumbfounded dip shits... Some say the end is near... Some say we'll see Armageddon soon..." She sang along with the song, the words striking a chord within her, that imaginary ball of ice in her chest reminding her of its presence as she closed her mouth, clenching her jaw as she held back the sudden urge to cry again.  
  
_Get your shit together... You're better than this._  
  
She shook her head at herself, replacing the decanter lid before laying back down, her hands drumming on her thighs again as her eyes closed. She exhaled again, commanding herself to relax, her body deciding to obey her as she felt herself sinking into the soft couch cushions...  
  
_No, don't fall asleep here, Bucky doesn't need to come home to this... He needs to come home and everything be fine, or come home and I've gone out to see a friend... Yes, good idea..._  
  
Zara glanced at her phone, still nothing from Jess. There was only one other person who'd tolerate her while she was having a bad day, and coincidentally it was someone who could also help her with her little mystery phone number problem.  
She stood up, and made a concerted effort to cross the room without falling over, regretting the amount of whiskey she'd necked from the bottle. Her skinny jeans were hanging in their usual spot, and she managed to change into them while holding onto the wardrobe door and pull a knit sweater she didn't know she had from the back of the dining room chair.  
With little effort, she got her winter boots on, and on the way out the front door she shoved her phone into her back pocket and pulled the sweater over her head, letting out an annoyed sigh.  
  
_It's down to your knees, you idiot... No wonder you don't remember having a dark red knit, it's obviously Bucky's..._  
  
She gave a shrug, not caring any more. If she was honest with herself, it was warm and comfortable and she really didn't care what she looked like. It was a wonder she'd even bothered to swap sweatpants for jeans.  
After a walk that took longer than it should have, and an interesting descent down a flight of stairs, she arrived at a set of double doors she'd gone through hundreds of times, not bothering to knock.  
  
"Jones! What are you doing here?" Came Tony's voice from across the lab.  
"Hey" She answered, stepping over cables and strange devices that had been spread out over the floor. She smirked to herself as she pictured herself in a minefield, only to look up to see Tony had come over to assist her.  
"What the hell have you been doing?" He asked, putting his arm out to catch her as she navigated her way through a tangle of floor cables. She stepped over the last of the junk, thanking him for his help as they made their way over to where his desk was.  
"Just chillin-out" She said, trying to come off as sober as possible.  
"Yeah, well you smell like a distillery. Sit down." He said, pulling the edge of the leather couch over enough that she could sit on it and stay close enough to him to talk.  
"What's going on, Zeej?"  
"Nothing much... Bucky said to relax, and I'm feelin preeeeety relaxed" She smiled. "I just wanted to ask a favour, and see if you needed me to come hand you wrenches and stuff in return?"  
  
Tony let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair.  
  
"What favour?" He asked after a few minutes of quiet.  
"Well..." Zara started, pulling her phone out, "Uuh... A friend of mine has been getting calls from a weird number. And I wanted to see if you could trace it or not? I said I'd ask you..."  
"Got the number?"  
"Yeah" She said, unlocking the phone and reading it out "We're pretty sure we know who it is, if we have an area code then we'll have a pretty good idea if it's him or not."  
"Someone harassing said 'friend' of yours?"  
"Yeah you could say that..."  
"Hmm..." Tony pursed his lips, dialling the number, much to Zara's surprise.  
"NO, DON'T CALL IT!" She blurted out, reaching out to snatch the phone from him, "He can't know we're trying to find him... Gotta keep it on the D.L, trust me"  
  
Tony let out another frustrated breath, hanging up the phone and setting it down on the bench top.  
"Who is this guy?"  
"Someone who my friend had an unwanted encounter with, but she doesn't want to go to the cops unless she knows for sure it's him, which it may not be... But she's kinda thinking it may be him? It's complicated... But the area code or even better, the location will help clear it up for sure" She said, swaying a little in her seat and covering her mouth as a hiccup surfaced.  
"And remind me why you're involved?" Tony asked, shooting her a concerned look.  
"Good friend."  
"Right."  
"And she hasn't called the cops?"  
"No. No point unless she knows for sure if it's him or not"  
"That's not like you to let the authorities handle something..."  
"Oh believe me, I would have kicked his ass myself, but a promise is a promise..."  
"Okay, makes sense... And what's with the whole... You being drunk before 10.30am thing?"  
"Needed to relax, and I guess I'm a bit of a lightweight these days..." She said, laying down on her side on the couch, covering her eyes with a hand.  
"Are you okay? Not going to be sick?" Tony asked, suddenly worried about his very expensive couch...  
"Just tired..."  
"Have you eaten?"  
"Nope"  
"I'll call Barnes..."  
"No, don't... I'll just rest here... Don't call" She mumbled, her eyes getting heavy as she succumbed to the alcohol.  
"I'm calling..." He muttered, shaking his head.  
  
  
  
Bucky answered his phone on the second attempt, his tone short and irritated.  
"Oh good, you can answer a phone" Tony sassed, rolling his eyes in frustration.  
"Don't start. What is it, I'm kinda busy..."  
"I believe I have something of yours, passed out on my leather couch"  
"Is she okay?" He asked, letting out a breath of relief.  
"Of course she is, she's with me"  
"I'm on my way"  
  
Predictably, Bucky burst through the double doors into Tony's lab, stomping over to the couch in full protective boyfriend mode. Tony rose from his seat by the desk, stopping him before he could reach her, raising a single finger to his lips. Bucky took the hint, stepping back from Tony, the two of them finding a quiet corner to talk.  
"What happened?" Bucky demanded, keeping his voice low.  
"You'd know what happened if you didn't leave her on her own. I told you to LOOK AFTER her!" Tony snapped, "If that was Pepper, I wouldn't have let her out of my sight"  
"Stark, you have no idea what you're talking about. She's not my prisoner, she's my fucking girlfriend"  
"Well start acting like it, or you're going to lose her. We all are."  
  
Bucky grit his teeth, the plates on his arm flexing as he fantasized punching Stark in the face for a moment, changing his mind thanks to better judgement. Tony smirked, cocking his head, his eyes going from the arm and back up to Bucky's face.  
  
"You have no IDEA how worried I am about her. You haven't been there for the conversation's we've had, tears shed, or any of the deep, dark things she's said in her sleep. I know her, you don't. Maybe if you'd payed that kind of attention to Pepper, she'd have hung around..." He said, towering over Tony, his best intimidating face plastered on.  
  
Bucky turned away, ignoring whatever it was that Tony snapped back in response as he made his way to the couch. His face fell when he saw her, dead to the word, curled upon her side.  
"Zee?" He said softly, shaking her gently. Her eyes creased a little but when she didn't wake Bucky scooped her up, holding her tightly. He let out a long breath as he made his way out of the lab, shooting Tony a look as he passed him.  
"I mean it Barnes... Watch her" He said, his tone less accusing this time, and more filled with concern. Bucky didn't stop, instead acknowledging Tony with an angry 'I don't wanna hear it' look, pushing past him.  
  
He made his way down the corridor quickly, Zara in his arms. He glanced down at her occasionally, cradling her head against his chest gently. As much as he tried to ignore Tony's words, the guilt swelled inside him to a point that was just about unbearable. He clenched his jaw, hurrying, just trying to get back to their room as fast as he could without running into anyone.  
It was a relief when he got to the door, kicking it shut behind him, letting out a long breath. He looked down at her again, she hadn't stirred once since he'd picked her up.  
He made his way over to the sofa, stopping himself for a moment as he considered laying her down, instead sitting down himself, Zara still in his arms. He pressed the button to recline them back, and when he was comfortable he just sat and held her.  
He closed his eyes, swallowing down the anger at himself, and the guilt that Tony had placed within him. She'd asked for space, and he'd granted her that. As far as he guessed, that didn't make him a bad guy...  
  
Bucky let out a breath, brushing her hair back from her face, Zara finally stirring a little. He reached down, pulling her boots off one by one, her hand reaching up, gripping his shirt over his chest. His hand found hers, a metal thumb gently dusting her knuckles, making her grip tighten on him. She screwed her face up as she fought against herself to wake, turning to press her forehead into his chest as she let out a barely audible groan.  
"You okay?" Bucky asked, his voice soft.    
  
It took her a few moments to get her head together, but once a simple 'yep' came out, Bucky felt some of the tension drain from his shoulders, and minute by minute she became more 'human' again.  
"You came back for me" She mumbled, still gripping the front of his shirt, Bucky letting out a small chuckle to himself.  
"Of course I did... I wasn't gonna leave you on Stark's couch..."  
  
She mumbled something that he couldn't understand and drew her knees up, snuggling herself into him as his arms tightened around her. She stayed completely relaxed with him, much to his shock and relief.  
  
"So what's all this about, huh?" He probed, keeping his voice soft and kind.  
"Hmm?"  
"Drinking... That's not like you..."  
"No big deal" She said in the middle of a yawn,  
"Well... It kinda is when it's out of the blue" He countered, rubbing her back with his flesh hand, "Talk to me..."  
"I was just... Stressed. I poured a glass to make me feel better, and I guess It's been a while"  
"Was it because of me? We can get you your own room if you need the space... Don't think you're obligated to be here for my sake, I understand"  
"No... I wanna stay... Please"  
 "What if we go speak to Reeves?"  
"She has no idea..." Zara said, her words becoming clearer as her brain pulled itself out of the fog.  
"What do you mean?"  
"She thinks I have a fear of allowing myself to be vulnerable" She said, her head still resting against his chest. "It's ridiculous"  
"Why is that so ridiculous?"  
"Because everyone here is vulnerable. Those of us without super powers are helpless against Banner, Maximoff, Rogers... You... Just being in the same room as any of you guys, we're literally putting our lives in your hands"  
  
Bucky let out a sigh, he didn't like what she'd said, but at the same time he didn't disagree with it.  
  
"But here I am sharing a room with you, sharing a bed, sitting here in your arms... If that's not trust, then I don't know what is..." She added, her voice trailing off.  
"Have you always thought of us like that?"  
"No, not always. I was very naive for a long time I think..."  
"Are you afraid of all of us that are enhanced?" He asked, "Of me?" He added, flinching a little at his own words.  
"No, not at all... I trust you"  
"Are you sure?" He asked, not completely convinced. She nodded against him, still holding onto him tightly.  
"Yeah, I'm sure."  
  
Bucky pressed a kiss to her forehead, neither of them ready to move just yet. Zara lifted her head, kissing him under his jaw, Bucky dropping his chin to look at her. She kept her expression neutral, looking into his eyes as if trying to solve a puzzle, before her hand left his chest to run her fingers down his jaw. He let out a hesitant breath, still watching her as she closed her eyes, leaning in to kiss him slowly and tenderly, both of them tensing a little. He gave her a smile, pulling away a little as he studied her as she had done to him.  
  
"I think you _are_ afraid of me" He said quietly, cutting the bullshit, Zara sitting up a little somewhat stunned, shaking her head.  
"I have a very healthy respect for what you're capable of... But while you're 'you', I have nothing to be afraid of. Do I?"  
"Of course not"  
"Well then... There's your answer"  
"It's not that simple" He said, a frown on his face now.  
"Yes it is... Unless deep down you WANT me to be afraid of you?" She said accusingly.  
"Don't try to psycho-analyze me" He said, annoyed now.  
"Well don't try to psycho-analyze ME" She countered, both of them sitting face to face again, both irritated and worried at the same time. "I'm not as delicate as you think I am... You think I'm made of glass"  
"I'm not saying you're delicate, Zee... I just worry that this last 'adventure' hit you harder than the others - and understandably, too. I don't want you to feel claustrophobic here with me, but it'd be good to be able to talk about it if you need to"  
  
Zara nodded, letting out a long breath, the room spinning far too much for a conversation so heavy.  
  
"I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind, but you killing me in my sleep - or beating me to a pulp isn't a worry to me... And the day it is, then we'll talk"  
"What's on your mind?"  
"Can we talk about it some other time?" She asked, exhausted again. Bucky relented, nodding as she laid herself back down against him again, her arms finding their way around his neck as she closed her eyes and pressed a kiss above his jaw.  
  
"Only if you promise not to get drunk again without me" He said, Zara nodding against him again. He wrapped his arms around her again, feeling her body relax as he held her. Uncertainty gripped him again as he glanced down at her peaceful face. She said she was fine, but every instinct he had screamed at him that that wasn't the case, and that there was more to the story she wasn't telling him...  
  
The rest of the day was an uneventful, quiet day. Bucky was grateful that he was pretty much 'off duty' for the time being, while the others were sent out on various missions.  
The 'serious' conversation topics were swept off the table, the two of them vegging out on the couch under a quilt having a junk food and funny movie day - a rare pleasure for them both.  
Pizza was on the cards when it got late, followed by another movie which they chose at random after not being able to agree what to watch.  
  
  
  
  
Bucky opened his eyes on hearing a female voice muttering something in front of him. It took him a few moments to realize they'd fallen asleep on the couch, Zara laying in front of him, her back to his chest. The T.V lit the room up with a faint blue glow, the movie having finished hours ago, the display on the clock showing that it was after 3am. He let a breath out, deciding that despite everything, they were both warm and comfortable, and she was still wrapped in his arms where he knew she was safe.  
  
The muttering came and went as it often did when she'd had a few crappy nights of sleep, nothing specific or anything that he could understand clearly until both 'Hydra' and 'Ward' got a mention. Bucky's interest was piqued as he listened intently, Zara unexpectly rolling over in his arms to face him, gripping the front of his shirt in both fists and burying her face in his chest. Bucky wrapped an arm around her to stop her falling if she moved again, and she was quiet again for a few moments, laying quite still until she started trembling. He frowned, wishing he could dive into her dreams and save her from whatever was plaguing her.  
Her grip on his shirt tightened as she pressed herself harder against him, the muttering starting up again...  
  
"It doesn't matter... It doesn't matter... He's no use to you without me... You can't torture him if I'm dead..."  
  
Her breathing picked up pace and her body tensed, Bucky would have been tempted to wake her if he didn't want to find more out. He held her, trying to stay as still as possible as to not interrupt her train of thought - or speech as it were...  
  
"Your days are numbered... Just you wait, Ward... You can't hurt him if I kill you first..."  
  
Bucky frowned, his lips parting as his mind ran at one hundred miles an hour... He wondered if her erratic behavior could be attributed to a plan that she'd been formulating? Did SHE even know what she was doing, or was her subconscious plotting something? Was Zara going on a solo mission, or was it all just crazy nightmare-talk? People often spoke in their dreams of things they wished they could do, and usually this wouldn't have bothered him, but this WAS Zara, and she was well known for acting recklessly and on impulse.  
  
_Christ Zara... What's going on in that head of yours? I can't protect you if you don't talk to me..._  
  
"I can save Bucky... One of us is going to die, Ward... And I'm not afraid anymore" She muttered, letting a breath out and going limp in his arms again, deep sleep taking her again.  
Bucky felt his heart pick up pace, he suddenly hoped that he'd been right and that it was just the nightmare talking. If not, the clock was ticking and he'd have to figure out what she was planning before she put whatever it was into action.  
  
"You're not gonna die, Zee, and I won't let anyone hurt you... You're safe" He soothed her as she slept, not completely sure if he was convincing her or himself. The knot in his stomach suggested that maybe it was the latter... Bucky let out a breath as that horrible out-of-control feeling that he hated took him over.  
He sure as hell wasn't going through losing her again to a stupid Hydra attack, nor was he ready to let her go on one of her crazy missions. A gut feeling was something he never ignored, and everything inside him screamed to keep her safe. Easier said than done if she wouldn't talk to him. Bucky of all people knew there were way to make people talk, if it came to that...  
  
He'd rather scare the hell out of her than lose her to a suicide mission... He let out a sigh, looking down at her again, her face peaceful and trusting as she snuggled herself against his chest. He suddenly hated himself for all she'd been through, and all she was going to go through if he had to force information out of her.  
It was clearly going to be a long night, and he was going to have to work out what course of action to take, preferably the course that would leave her not hating him, but any course would have to do if it meant she wasn't going to go out and get herself killed.  
  
_As long as she's safe, it doesn't matter. I owe her that much..._  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another update! A little confrontation, a few revelations, and some plans made to go talk to people and do stuff. Enjoy! :) xx

  
  
Condensation on the glass window seemed to isolate Zara from the outside world even more than she felt she already was. She let out a huff of breath, focusing on her stretches, killing the time until Bucky arrived back at the room. She stood up, reaching to place her palms flat on the ground, feeling the muscles stretch. She slowly lifted her feet off the ground, testing her strength and balance in a handstand, letting herself back down again just as slowly.  
  
_Christ..._  
  
She grit her teeth, annoyed at how sore her body still was from what she could only assume was the car crash... She paused for a moment thinking of that night and the weeks after it, the changes she'd noticed in both herself and Bucky. She'd been incredibly tolerant of his ever changing moods, and he'd been incredibly supportive of her, even when she didn't want him to fuss over her.  
She hadn't heard a peep from Ward in days, and Tony's trace hadn't given them any information on the number, which is what she'd feared. Bucky had been quiet in the last couple of days since she'd stupidly gotten herself drunk, whereas she'd been completely expecting him to confront her or bring it up now that the dust had settled, but nothing...  
This frustrated her more than she thought it should. For Bucky to let something like that go, and then go all quiet was very unlike him. Either he was having a couple of bad days or it was the calm before the storm...  
  
She shrugged her thoughts off, continuing on with her stretches, only stopping when the click of the door interrupted her, Bucky stepping into the room. He paused, looking at her quizzically for a moment as he dropped his gym bag down before closing the door behind him.  
"Hey" She said with a smile, breaking the awkwardness as best she could.  
  
He made his way over to her, muttering a 'hey' in reply on the way. He held out a hand to help her up when he got to her, which she took.  
"What are you doing, you're supposed to be resting..." He said, a clearly unamused expression on his face. Zara frowned, a little bothered by his demeanour.  
"I was just having a stretch, I was feeling a bit stiff..." She said, stretching her neck both ways, a loud crack startling them both, "See?" she added, rubbing the sore spot.  
"You shouldn't do that..." He half-scolded her, raising his hand to wordlessly ask permission to feel it for himself.  
  
Zara closed her eyes, mentally commanding herself not to flinch or jump which she was pretty sure worked, until he let out an exasperated puff of breath when his flesh hand started kneading the muscle. He hit a spot that hurt, making her screw her face up, Bucky quickly withdrawing his hand.  
"Sorry, sore spot-"  
"-Which is why you should be resting." He said, his voice still stern and grumpy. He leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the forehead, that frown that had been there for days still on his face. "I'm having a shower"  
  
He made his way to the bathroom without another word, Zara biting her lip suddenly feeling very insecure... She went over the last couple of days in her head, thinking of all the things she might have done to annoy him. It had to have been the alcohol, he hadn't mentioned it since, but he'd been stand-offish and grouchy... More so than usual...  
She blew out a frustrated breath, crossing her arms for warmth as she made her way to the coffee machine, turning it on and pulling two cups from the shelf in the kitchen. She glanced at her phone while the machine warmed up, her usual text from Jess was on there, which brought a little brightness to her otherwise dull morning. She shot her a light hearted text back as always, her eye catching the word 'Unknown' among the names of the last contacts to send her a message. Her mind went into overdrive again wondering what to do about those messages. She locked her phone, the coffee machine going quiet beside her as she added the milk.  
  
_It COULD be Ward... It makes sense that the GPS on his phone would be switched off... But then again... Ugh, who knows!?_  
  
She'd spoken to Jessica Jones very briefly when privacy had presented an opportunity, glossing over what had happened, but more to the point to get her on Ward's trail. As always she was already a step ahead, the Larson family offering a substantial reward for the return of their missing son which she'd gotten straight onto. Her logic was that if she found Larson - she'd find Ward. Only problem now was avoiding mind control which meant she'd have to get in touch with Tony Stark... Something she'd been hoping to avoid for the sake of anonymity, and keeping her abilities off a potential 'superhero registration act' or whatever they were calling it now. Zara had had to end the call when Bucky had walked in, Jessica stopping her for a moment and asking when they could catch up.  
"We have stuff to talk about... About Dad..."  
Zara had agreed, the subject of having a living relative nearby something that tugged at her heartstrings. The two of them promised to have that discussion sooner or later, both in agreement that the Ward and Larson situation took priority for the moment.  
"Look after yourself, Little Jones" Jessica has said, ending the conversation...  
  
  
  
"I made you a coffee" Zara said when the bathroom door opened, Bucky stepping out in a cloud of steam, rubbing his wet hair with a towel.  
He said a quiet thank you after setting the towel down over the back of a chair to dry, making his way over to her in a fitted T-shirt and fresh sweatpants. She let out a frustrated breath, Bucky noticing as he stopped in front of her, leaning on the kitchen counter with one hand.  
"It's gotten weird again... Hasn't it?" She asked, not feeling brave enough to look him in the eye. "You've gone all quiet..." She added, lifting herself onto the bench where she could sit at eye level with him.  
"Something's been bothering me" He admitted, clearly trying to work out how to say whatever it was he needed to say... Zara's heart took off, worried now.  
"I'm gonna level with you..." He said, leaning against the bench, one hand either side of her knees, "You've been talking in your sleep, and I think you're planning something"  
  
Zara let out a breath of relief, even smiling for a moment.  
  
"I'm not planning anything" She said, reaching forward to push his wet hair off his face, her hands lingering on his cheeks for a moment. She pulled back again when his expression didn't change, confusion sweeping over her as she cocked a brow.  
"You don't believe me do you?" She asked, a little sad suddenly.  
"The last three nights in a row, you've said the same things, and it's been a fight, and then you've announced you're sacrificing yourself for me-"  
"It's just a dream. A really, really shitty dream..." She assured him.  
"It just worried me because you've run off before to save the world, and I can't let you do that again... And there's no way in HELL you're giving your life for mine," He said, his face sombre, "I can't go through that again, Zee"  
Zara frowned, nodding in response, understanding where he was coming from.  
"It's just a dream, Buck. As much as I wish I could make all this go away, I have no idea where Ward is, why we were shot at that night or why any of this is going on at all... I just want to keep you safe..."  
"And I want to keep YOU safe" He came back, his hands creeping to her thighs to grip them gently as he looked intently into her eyes.  
  
Zara let out a breath, grabbing him by the front of the shirt and pulling him towards her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, his arms finding their way around her waist, holding her a little tighter than usual. She closed her eyes, just enjoying being in his arms where she knew she was safe, pushing any traces of fear or worry to the back of her mind for the moment.  
"Can we just stay like this forever?" She whispered, her voice shakier than she'd prefer it to be.  
"That'd be fine by me" He whispered back, leaving a kiss on her cheek as he gave her another squeeze. "What happened in your dream?"  
"We don't need to talk about that..." She said back, Bucky pulling away from her for a moment, eyes on hers again.  
"I want to know what going on in that mind of yours... Good or bad." He said, "Maybe I can help?"  
  
She bit her lip, giving her head a little shake before looking back over to him.  
"It's all just about what happened with us, mixed with some stuff from the past. It's really not worth bringing it all up again. We're good now, it's just a stupid dream, and I'll get over it eventually. Really." She said, Bucky not moving again.  
"So I hurt you in your dream?"  
"You aren't gonna let this go are you?  
"Nope."  
  
"Okay" She said, letting out a sigh, "So in my dream, you're being controlled again. This time there's no safe house or time to come up with a plan... We both know I can't fight you off, you take me, and next thing we're at the Hydra base in the mountains - the one you got me out of last year..." She said, making eye contact with him, Bucky nodding as he set the scene in his head.  
"You turned me over to the men in the tunnels and then left, and it's an exact repeat of what really happened back then-"  
"What men in the tunnels?"  
"Bad men, the kind that beat up and do terrible things to girls... Not the sort of story a guy wants to hear about his girlfriend, trust me" She said with a dark chuckle as she pushed the memory back out of her head. "Anyway-"  
"-Hang on... What happened, Zee?" He asked gently, ducking his head to try and coax her into looking at him.  
"Come on Buck, use your imagination and save me the re-hash" She said quietly, her eyes embarrassed when they eventually found his.  
He drew in a sharp breath, a frown forming on his face as he reached out to take her hands. Zara pulled them away, placing them on his chest enough to push him back a couple of steps.  
  
"You know what? Some other time..." She whispered, sliding off the bench, landing in front of him. She glanced up at him when he stood his ground, both hands still leaning on the counter, blocking her in. She drew in a breath, backing herself against the bench, looking up at him uncomfortably.  
"I should have gotten you out earlier. We should have gone looking when you weren't recovered..." He said, hanging his head. "You didn't have to go through that, I should have been there to protect you, so many times... But I wasn't"  
"Don't say that... You all thought I was dead, Tony's machine read my vitals and there was nothing there" She shrugged dismissively, looking down as she picked at her fingernails.  
"Tony's machines don't work for SHIT!" He snapped, making her jump as his metal hand closed hard enough to crack the bench top. The plates on his arm recalibrated, making a robotic whir as he seethed, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.  
  
Zara sucked in a breath, feeling her body tremble as she backed herself against the counter as hard as she could. Bucky raised his hands apologetically as he calmed himself, Zara staying where she was.  
"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry..." He said, gently reaching for her again, pulling her into his arms. "What kind of guy leaves a girl in that situation... And then kidnaps her and beats the hell out of her? ...I don't deserve you"  
"I was dead, Buck. Most people don't come back from that. We both knew I was wasn't gonna last long, I remember it. I was so scared, and you were trying to be brave for me. You held me and kept me warm... In my last moments you kissed me, and I died safe and warm in your arms..."  
"You weren't safe at all, you would have been safer if I'd done my job properly, or if I'd kept you the hell away from that bunker like I should have done!"  
"You couldn't have kept me away if you'd tried, that was my battle to fight, and I don't regret taking that bullet for you. Not for a second..."  
"The bullet wasn't the hard part, the six months of torture-"  
"-It was hard, but that was the price I had to pay to protect you that day, and I'd do it again if I had to... That's what I dream of. The beatings, the attacks, starvation, threats, and that fucking chair..." She said, her breath hitching as she swallowed down the urge to cry, staying tough. "I remember it all. I woke up and I didn't know where I was. It was freezing cold, and dark down there, and all I wanted was you. I asked for you over and over and they kept saying 'soon enough, soon enough'... I can still hear those words as clear as day in my head"  
"That won't happen again, Zee... I promised I'd keep you safe before, and I broke that promise. This time I won't okay?" He said, desperation in his eyes as he took her face in his hands.  
"I've never told anyone what they did to me..." She said, shame in her voice, "I wasn't going to tell you... No-one wants a girl with THAT kinda baggage"  
"You think YOU have baggage?" He asked, gesturing at his arm in such a way that she couldn't help but smile a little, wiping her eyes.  
"I just didn't want you feeling sorry for me or anything. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself, and I guess that's why I didn't tell you any of that stuff earlier, or any of the other stuff that happened. You were right, it's good to get it out, but I don't want your pity, okay? I don't want anyone's pity..."  
"I know you can take care of yourself, but everyone has their limits... I just hate that the whole thing was because of me. I've done a lot of bad stuff in my life, but the things I've done to you... I'll never forgive myself for."  
"You didn't make those choices for me that day in the field... And I was the one that made you go back to the warehouse the night Larson got into your head. It's all on me." She said, Bucky shaking his head at her.  
"Shut up... Just... No more of that, okay?" He said, pulling her against him again, holding her tightly, "I'm the super soldier, I've been through wars and I know when it's time to fall back. I didn't make the call and it cost you, both times. I'm supposed to be the hero, not the fucking villain"  
"You are my hero, you've saved my life more times than I can count-"  
"And I'll continue to do it for the rest of your life, which is why I won't let you anywhere near Ward or Hydra or any of them... And if they try to hurt you, I'll rip their throats out, just like I'm gonna do when I find those men that hurt you"  
"You and Steve already killed them all..."  
"...Just as well"  
  
"Buck?" She asked, stepping back enough to look him in the face again, "This Ward and Hydra thing... I won't be left on the sidelines. If I'm on the bench, then so are you. Just so you know..."  
  
Bucky pursed his lips, stopping himself from arguing back now that they were both on good terms with each other.  
"Let's talk about it some other time... Okay?" He offered, Zara nodding, "I love you, Zee" He whispered, taking her face in his hands as he leaned in to kiss her.  
"I love you too."  
"Are you gonna tell me the rest of your dream?"  
"Some other time... That's enough doom and gloom for one morning, don't you think?" She smiled, making him chuckle. "Your coffee's gonna go cold..."  
  
He smiled as he took a sip, letting out a dramatic moan.  
"You make a good coffee, babe"  
"That's the real reason you keep me around, isn't it?"  
"Maybe... Maybe not" He said, his eyes smiling, the mood significantly lighter now.

Zara chuckled, giving him a playful shove as she picked her phone up, unlocking the screen.  
"Who are you messaging?"  
"All my other boyfriends..." She teased,  
"What are their names, I'll sort them out" He threatened, making her laugh again.  
"No I was actually just deleting a few messages, I've been talking to Jessica Jones a bit lately. I was going to ask you to take me into the city to meet up with her... But obviously that will have to wait" Zara said, giving a dismissive shrug.  
"Not necessarily..." Bucky said, cocking his head as he gave her a smile. "What's the fascination with this woman anyway?"  
"Well... We're actually related..."  
"Are you sure? There are thousands of Jones's around"  
"Not many out there who's father was Brian Jones, who supposedly died in a car accident with his family in the late 90's"  
"But your father's name was Donald..."  
"That's right, in Massachusetts after 1991 he was Donald Jones... He started a life there after he knocked my Mom up. He was still 'Brian Jones' in New York up until his death in '98 or '99..."  
"He had a double life?"  
"Yeah you could say he was quite clever about it... The car accident was obviously staged so he could fake his death and dispose of the family. Jessica was still in junior high, she survived somehow, she wasn't supposed to. According to state records he died then and there. I guess the lie was too hard to keep going... He was good at that obviously, y'know, the whole him turning out to be a Hydra agent thing..."  
"No shit..."  
"So Jessica went off to a foster home, later found out that she was actually enhanced. Again, no idea if it was from the crash, or already in there, but that's all she remembers. She said he was always away on business, obviously off cheating on his wife with my Mom. I was an accident, but by then he was too deep in the Hydra game to commute back and forth so he did what he felt he had to. You kind of have to be around a little more when a baby comes along, I don't even know if Mom knew about the other family. Probably not!" She said with a shrug.  
"I suppose she was Hydra as well, which explains my upbringing... That's all I know, and I've dug up everything I could. Jessica has some old photos and a few bits and pieces. She wanted to meet up away from Shield to talk to me in person. Neither of us have any other living relatives, so I guess that's something, huh."  
"Absolutely" Bucky said, still shaking his head in awe, "You should try and connect, I know if I had family, I'd want to know them. It was something having Steve after all these years... Even if it took a while for me to realize it." He smiled fondly.  
  
Bucky bit his lip, ideas beginning to form in his head. Maybe being cooped up all this time was doing more harm than good? Zara was clamming up and walking on eggshells, and he was no better, always worrying about frightening her or getting in her space, when all she seemed to want was to be with him for some reason he couldn't fathom. Maybe they were so institutionalized that they weren't seeing things clearly? Whatever the reason it tore him up just to look at her, and if she looked up at him with that fake smile one more time he was sure he was going to lose it altogether. Who's idiotic idea was it to put an unstable super soldier in a room with a girl who he'd just kidnapped, held hostage and beaten half to death? And then made them share a bed together!? Given the revelation of her past experiences it was a wonder she trusted men at all, never-mind one that had continually let her down and threatened her.  
  
_Maybe she's crazier than I am?_  
  
Bucky shook his thoughts off, self deprecating was stupid, and he knew damn well she wasn't crazy, just crazy for him... Okay maybe she WAS a little crazy, but that was okay, wasn't it?  
  
_Ugh, the only thing that's driving us nuts are these four walls along with their rules and their cameras... We gotta get outta here_  
  
  
  
  
"Tell you what," He said after a thoughtful pause, "why don't we make that trip into the city? I'll take you, we'll go by road and stay under the radar. You'll be safe with me, especially if we keep it all on the down low... Might be good to get away from this place for a few hours"  
"Or dangerous... What if Wards' lurking somewhere with his mind control friend?"  
"We happen to know for a fact he's nowhere in New York..." He assured her, watching as she arched a brow. "What, you think you're the only one around here with contacts?"  
  
Zara let out a defeated sigh, "What if half the cars here are bugged?"  
"Then we take the bike."  
"A motorbike? Are you serious!?" Zara chuckled, nervously.  
"What, you don't trust me?" Bucky teased her back.  
"Last time I got on the back of a bike with someone, I almost got killed!"  
"I bet it wasn't on a bike full of gun holsters with an armed super soldier?" He said, his face grinning with excitement now. "I won't let you fall... Easier to make a getaway if we do get chased, anyway."  
"How am I supposed to hang on if I'm so sore? I'll come straight off the back."  
"Passenger backrest, plus you're on board with me. If you move, I'll grab you."  
  
Zara pushed her hair back off her face and blew out another breath, trying her best to hide a smile, which proved difficult with Bucky grinning at her like a cheeky schoolboy.  
"What happened to 'you need to rest, Zara, you're so fragile, Zara'" She said, imitating him in her best 'moody Bucky' voice. He raised a brow at her, Zara cocking her head as if waiting for a good answer.  
"You weren't going to rest anyways, how is that any different to sitting behind me on a bike for a couple of hours?"  
"What if I get stiff and cramped?"  
"Then I'll give you a massage"  
"Hmm..." Zara pondered, "that actually sounds really nice"  
"I can give you one before we go if you like? Just say the word..."  
"Lets see if she's even going to be around, first!" Zara scolded him, picking up her phone.  
  
_Zara Jones 8.10am_  
Hey Jessica, are you around today? Was thinking of making a trip to the city in stealth mode to have that family bonding time we discussed...  
  
While she waited for a reply she got a pair of jeans and leather boots out for herself, Bucky tossing her a leather jacket which she caught and set down on the bed as she dressed. She put her hair back in a French braid, making a quick dash to the bathroom to put a little makeup on.  
"Oh what a shame, looks like she hasn't replied and we can't go out like Evel Knievel this morning" Zara said, pretending to be upset, Bucky smirking at her.  
  
Right on cue her phone vibrated on the bench, Zara beating Bucky to it to snatch it up, Bucky stifling a laugh in the background.  
  
_Jessica Jones 8.32am_  
 _Yeah I'm home for a few hours. Obviously Ward isn't around?  
  
Zara Jones 8.32am  
Apparently he's not in NY at all. Bucky offered to bring me down to see you after I filled him in on the whole family thing, is that okay?_  
  
_Jessica Jones 8.34am  
Sure, I'll send you the address_  
  
_Zara Jones 8.35am_  
_Awesome, looking forward to it. Oh, and he doesn't know about me looking for Ward so if we could keep that between us for now, that'd be great. I'll tell him once we know more, he worries... See you soon, we'll leave now x_  
  
_Jessica Jones 8.35am_  
_Got it. Sent you a map link, it's a bitch to find otherwise. Drive safe._  
  
"Looks like we're going after all..." Zara sighed, deleting any incriminating messages from her phone, waiting for the map link to come through. Bucky smiled as if he was way too happy about getting her on the bike, Zara smiling back weakly.  
"Hey..." He said, stepping over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders as he looked into her eyes. "I know you're nervous about leaving the base, going out into the world, and getting on that damn bike... Maybe even being alone with me, not that I'd judge you for it-"  
"Buck-"  
"-No, listen." He cut her off, his face serious, "I owe it to you to keep you safe, and I promise that I'll look after you and get you there and back without a scratch..."  
  
Zara blew out a breath, puffing out her cheeks as she did, looking up at him nervously. She gave him a nod, despite herself.  
"I trust you..." She said, Bucky giving her a kiss on the forehead in reply. He reached over, passing her the leather jacket and helping her into it before pulling his own on and zipping it up.  
"I love you too much to let anything happen to you, Zee. What do I always say to you?"  
"That you'll keep me safe?"  
"Exactly... And I might even buy you lunch, too." He said, that flirty smile crossing his lips again for the first time in weeks.  
  
"Okay, in that case... Let's do this"


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freaking HUGE long chapter - sorry, I got carried away! Hope you guys enjoy, thanks to everyone for reading, commenting and leaving me a kudos. Such a great motivator! Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Bucky shot Zara a sideways grin as they made their way down the corridor, hand in hand. She smiled weakly back up at him, not sure why she'd agreed to go out in public on the back of a motorbike of all things, while such a huge threat was still looming over them both. Nerves had definitely kicked in, and is if he could read her mind, he moved his hand to interlock his fingers with hers, and pull her nearer to him at the same time, all without saying a word.  
They didn't pass anyone else on their way to the basement garage, nor was there anyone down there as they stepped through the heavy door, Bucky closing it behind them. Their footprints echoed as they quickly crossed to the back of the room, Bucky glancing over his shoulder once at the sound of the timed door lock latching shut.  
By the time they stopped in front of the bike, Zara's heart was racing like crazy and try as she might she just couldn't stop her damned hands from shaking. Bucky looked over at her, his face worried as he cupped her cheek with his free hand.  
"Zee, we don't have to take the bike if you don't want to..."  
  
Zara opened her mouth, the words not wanting to come out as she realized the real reason for her worry... She was alone with him and nobody else knew it, nobody knew where they were or where they were going. She was suddenly overcome with guilt at the very thought of not trusting him completely, or even the thought that once they were away from the base that Larson could regain control of him...  
  
_Once we're on the move, how will I possibly know if he's still him or not..._  
  
"The bike's fine" She stammered, shaking her head dismissively, realizing he was looking at her awaiting an answer. "I was just having a 'moment', it's fine..."  
He frowned in confusion for a moment, a couple of seconds later having some sort of a light bulb moment as a possible conclusion came to him.  
"It's me, isn't it..." He said in a regretful tone...  
"No it's not that, I was just thinking... Does anyone else knew where we're going? Just in case something was to happen, or we got intercepted..." She asked, her hand giving his an encouraging squeeze.  
  
Bucky nodded, biting his lip as he considered her thoughts, letting go of her hand to pull his phone from his pocket and punched out a text. He gave the bike a quick but thorough look over, locating a tracking device under the seat as he waited for a reply which came through quicker than he'd expected.  
  
"Rogers knows" He said, holding up the phone to show Zara the screen, "There's a tracker on the bike, If Shield can track us, then so can Hydra. If it was up to me I'd take it off, but I need you to feel safe..." He said gently.  
"You don't need to show me the screen..." She said, embarrassed suddenly, "It was just a thought. Maybe we take the tracker off. If Hydra can't find us, then Larson can't get into your head... We stay anonymous, and safe. If Rogers knows where we are, and we don't come home, he'll know to send help." She said, feeling brave again.  
  
Bucky nodded and wasted no time pulling the tracker off, leaving it on the ground next to the bike. He opened the locker that had been built into the wall, pulling out 2 helmets and 2 sets of leather gloves, handing her the smaller set.  
"You sure about this?" He asked, testing the waters again.  
  
Zara smiled at him, pulling him over to her by his leather jacket. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him, pulling apart far enough that he could look into her eyes.  
"I'm not worried about you, I just want to keep away from certain organizations that could put us into trouble. The bike is just a stupid fear that I'm sure you'll help me get over like all the others."  
  
Bucky smiled and nodded to her, giving her a squeeze as he kissed her again, "I'll take good care of you, I promise."  
"I know you will" She answered, the two of them pulling apart to put helmets on, Bucky helping Zara with the strap under her chin. They pulled their gloves on, Zara reaching over to Bucky's metal arm, pulling the sleeve of his black Henley down to hide his wrist, tidying the top of the glove and tucking it under the leather jacket sleeve.  
"That's better" She smiled up at him.  
"Thanks"  
  
He swung his leg over the bike, Zara pulling her phone out when a last minute thought came to her. She turned off her Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and GPS, reminding Bucky to do the same which he did, both of them turning their phones off afterward.  
  
"Ready?" He asked, flicking out the passenger foot pegs, Zara nodding nervously at him. She put her foot on the peg, holding onto Bucky for balance as she swung on, landing softly in the seat behind him.  
"If you wanna stop, or something's wrong, just tap me on the shoulder, okay?" He said, handing her a pair of sunglasses he had tucked into his top, "I got you these"  
  
She put the sunglasses on, giving him a dramatic pout which made him chuckle.  
"Hot" He said in between laughs, "keep your knees tucked in close to me, safer, less wind resistance and much warmer too" He added, pulling her legs in close, hugging his hips."  
"Real smooth, Buck" She said, noticing his hand lingering on her thigh, making him chuckle again.  
"Can't blame a guy for trying" He said, giving her a wink. She shook her head, rolling her eyes as she smirked, holding a laugh in.  
"There are grab handles either side of the seat just under there" He said, pointing to them, "But honestly, you'll be much better off holding onto me, and I'll feel better knowing you're okay and still with me" He added, his voice serious.  
  
Zara leaned forward, putting her arms around him, giving him a tight squeeze for a moment, making him smile.  
"That's the way" he encouraged her, "ready to go?"  
"Yep"  
  
Bucky started the engine, slipping on a pair of sunglasses and pulling a familiar black mask from his jacket pocket. One that Zara hadn't seen since the collapse of the shield building almost a year ago... The very mask that had helped her breathe surrounded the smoke that day, and also the one and the same that Bucky had worn in 'one of his many previous lives' as he referred to it...  
He looked over his shoulder, checking again that she was okay before pressing the mask to his face, clipping it on inside his helmet. He stood the bike up straight, walking it backwards out of the parking space with his feet before putting it in gear and slowly pulling out.  
Zara felt him reach out and rub her hand gently as they approached the now open garage door, giving her a bit of reassurance that she was safe before they accelerated off up the road.  
  
It had been years since Zara had been on a bike, this time was already proving more pleasant than the last - except for the cold that is. She was suddenly grateful to Bucky for making her put a warmer top on under her jacket, and for suggesting she hang onto him, rather than the handles. As usual he radiated warmth, and aside from that the contact itself was comforting. She watched as the world whizzed by, Bucky expertly maneuvering the bike, changing gears and reading the traffic and conditions. Like all things he did, he was seasoned and competent, her thoughts going back to his time as a young man pre-serum.  
The thought of sitting behind someone with super strength and super senses was comforting enough as it was, but when she factored in the 80 odd years of experience he'd had riding bikes during the war, and on Hydra missions, she certainly felt much safer.  
She finally let her body relax as they pulled onto the highway, suddenly not worried about the speeds they were traveling at. She noticed Bucky's eyes would flicker to his mirrors occasionally as if to check her, and then back to the road again.  
  
It was a long ride, Zara enjoying the experience, as well as just being close to him. When the traffic got thicker they slowed down, Zara noticing more and more buildings around her.  
When they stopped at the first set of traffic lights Bucky's hand found her thigh, giving it a squeeze as he looked over his shoulder. He gave her a thumbs up which she nodded back to, the sounds of the bike and the city too loud to bother having a conversation. The stop was brief and Bucky navigated through the congestion to find the street they were after, eventually finding a dilapidated old building with a underground parking garage sign at ground level.  
They pulled in, finding a parking space near the elevator easily, Bucky turning the bike off, his hand giving her thigh another squeeze. Zara pulled her sunglasses off, tucking them into her top and dismounted the bike, holding onto Bucky for balance as she did. They both took their helmets off, Zara shoving her gloves into hers and stepping back to Give Bucky the room to step off the bike and do the same. He hung both their helmets off the hooks under the rear seat, turning to give Zara a smile. She grinned back at him, putting her arms around his neck and letting her lips find his.  
"Told you I'd look after you" He said with a throaty chuckle, Zara smiling at him still, "Not too scary?"  
"No, not too scary" She agreed, "But freaking freezing cold"  
"You're always cold" He teased, rubbing her arms briskly.  
  
They made their way to the elevator door, pressing the ground floor button. Bucky protectively placed her in front of him, Zara reaching up to give the forearm around her a squeeze. The door opened, revealing an empty lift, both of them stepping in quickly and closing the door. Zara reached over, instinctively taking his hand as the lift began to move, Bucky turning to watch her for a moment. They stepped out into the foyer, Zara letting out a breath that she'd been holding without realizing.  
"You okay?" He asked, as they looked around for an intercom for Jessica to buzz them up.  
"Yeah, a little nervous, but I'll be fine... I mean I have you here with me, right?"  
"Sure do"  
"Thanks for being here for this... I guess it's weird coming face to face with her now that we know we're, well... Family" She said with a shrug as she blew out a nervous breath.  
"I'll always be here for you, whenever you need" he said gently, taking her face in his hands and leaving a tender kiss on her lips.  
  
Zara pressed the button on the intercom next to the appropriate apartment number to announce their arrival, a very casual 'come on up' coming back in response.  
Bucky led the way up the flight of stairs, both of them amused that there were no elevators in the upper floors of the building. they'd come to the conclusion that it was something to do with the age of the place, both of them having a laugh for a few moments. They came to Jessica's door, Zara knocking twice and listening to hear something inside get knocked over, and some loud cussing. The door opened, revealing a slightly disheveled looking Jessica, and an apartment messier than Zara had imagined.  
"Hey" They were greeted, "I see you brought your bodyguard..."  
"This is Bucky" She corrected, with a giggle. "Boyfriend, not bodyguard"  
"Sometimes both..." He said, cocking a half smile, "Nice to meet you finally"  
"Likewise" Jessica said, her tone short. Zara blew a breath out, peering around the room as she crossed her arms, feeling a little awkward. "Coffee?" Jessica offered, "I've only got instant..."  
"Thought you'd never ask" Zara smiled, following her to the island bench in the kitchen, pulling up a stool, Bucky doing the same.  
  
The three of them were quiet as Jessica passed mismatched mugs around, taking a sip of her own before letting out a breath.  
"So... You two are sisters..." Bucky said, trying to salvage what was becoming an awkward visit.  
"But you got the height..." Zara sassed  
"Oh shut up, you got the blue eyes" Jessica chuckled, the mood instantly lifted.  
  
Zara felt Bucky relax beside her, and in turn let herself relax while Jessica turned to pick up an old looking overfilled envelope. She slid it across the table and nodded for Zara to open it.  
She put her coffee down, lifting the tab to peer in. Her eyes lit up as she tipped the contents into the palm of her hand. A smile forming on her face as she started flicking through the old photographs in her hands. She sucked in a breath and paused when she came to one, her eyes widening.  
"It's Dad..." She said breathlessly, putting the photo down on the counter so Bucky and Jessica could see, "Much younger than the guy I remember, but it's definitely him..." She said, looking up at Jessica who nodded in response, sipping her drink.  
  
Bucky picked up the picture as if to study it, Zara flicking through the rest, not seeing much else that she recognized, other than the odd picture of her Dad here and there.  
"I remember him" Bucky said breaking the silence, both girls turning to him. "Hydra, early 90's... He tried to get on the team that worked with me, gave my orders, kept me in control."  
"Are you sure it was him?" Zara asked.  
"I never forget a face" Bucky answered, his tone shorter than he intended. "I overheard them speaking... They told him he had to move closer to the base to even be considered... He agreed, and he said he'd sweeten the deal by making them an offer they couldn't refuse"  
"What offer?" Jessica asked, cocking her head, her voice flat.  
"A young, fully trained, lethal combat specialist with all the skills they needed... Someone that lived and breathed Hydra from their very first breath..." He said, his voice trailing off as he was overcome with realization. He turned his head, looking at Zara as he clenched his jaw, "It was you..."  
"Impossible, early 90's I was still a baby"  
"And I went back under the ice shortly after that, what's that telling you?"  
"Holy shit" Zara gasped, "They put you under while I grew up and got all my training done..."  
"Exactly"  
"I was pulled out of school after the bike crash, it all makes sense"  
"Bike crash?"  
"Yeah, I tried to run away with a boy from school, early teens... There was an accident, and we both got hurt. Dad was FURIOUS with me, like CRAZY angry. Maybe it wasn't for protection of me, but more himself and his own future... I was grounded and home-schooled after that for the next few years, and then dragged in at 17"  
"Well that explains the motorbike thing..."  
"Wait-" Jessica interrupted, "So he promised his baby daughter to Hydra?"  
"Yeah, I did fight training, acrobatics, archery, gymnastics, shooting, advanced driving... You name it, he was right into his extracurricular activities... I was none the wiser, I'd never even heard of Hydra. I just thought he was a 'stage Dad' as I was his only child... Well, that we knew of... And then I was pulled out of bed in the middle of the night, and ended up in a Hydra base full of kids my age. We did further training, until we were old enough to be put up against him" She replied, gesturing towards Bucky.  
"So you guys knew each other back when he was a 'baddie-assassin' guy, and you were a tortured, kidnapped kid..." Jessica asked, fingertips against her temples as she struggled to put the pieces together.  
"Yeah, but I was wiped and she was crushed under a building... So neither of us remembered until the memories were dug out by a telepathic at Shield recently..." Bucky explained, stifling a chuckle as he realized how ridiculous it all sounded.  
  
"Okay, okay, so what were they doing with you there, any why were you put up against an enhanced person?" Jessica asked after a few quiet moments.  
"Super soldier programme" They both answered at the same time.  
"They had so much success with Buck, that they wanted to make more soldiers, but they didn't have much of the serum available. So they were basically going to pick the best young fighters, and whoever worked best alongside him were chosen to be injected. Then when everything happened with DC, they lost him, and I was first in line to become his replacement."  
"And how did you get here?"  
"I blew up the base from inside with help from some of the others down there. Only 2 of us survived..."  
"Holy shit" Jessica said, shaking her head... "And then you went to work for Shield?"  
"Well kinda. The other girl and I were rescued, the rest is a kind of a long story..." Zara shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee as the three of them sat pondering the past.  
  
"Okay I have to ask..." Jessica started after a long pause as if gathering courage, "What happened with Dad and your Mom... They were found dead, you said you did it. What happened?"  
  
Zara let out a long breath, glancing at Bucky who had his eyes on her, attentive as always which didn't go unnoticed by Jessica.  
"I was killed, captured, and revived by Hydra last year - another long story - but the short version is that they wiped my memories when I woke up, and I was brainwashed to kill. I don't remember killing Mom and dad, but I know they sent me there to catch Shield's attention. Successfully as it were." She said, glancing over at Bucky who reached across and gave her thigh a squeeze. "I'm not sad that it happened though... How horrible does that sound?" She added, not game enough to look Jessica in the eye.  
"Not at all. I knew he was an asshole, but I didn't think he'd trade his child for a promotion at work..."  
"We didn't have any kind of relationship growing up, he was like a drill sergeant and if I didn't do what I was told, I suffered the consequences. You can understand why I tried to run away... After the bike crash I wasn't allowed to see friends or leave the house without him, and then I was taken and the rest is history."  
  
"He wasn't that bad with us growing up." Jessica started, "Strict, yeah, but never laid a hand on us. Mom raised us on her own as he was always away on work trips, but as long as the money was coming in, she didn't really care. I think deep down she knew something wasn't right, but why break up a family unit when we lived so comfortably, y'know?" Jessica said, Zara nodding.  
"It wasn't until years later I accidentally found out he was alive while working an unrelated case... But by then he'd obviously shipped you off, and was living with your Mom. I could never pin him down though... By the time I thought to get back to looking for him he'd moved again and it took me years to find him. By then it was too late..."  
  
The three of them went back and forth over another coffee and several stacks of photos before it was time for Jessica to meet her client. She hadn't mentioned Ward, but promised to call Zara soon for another talk, or possibly to come visit them at Shield. When they parted, Jessica stepped in to hug Zara, squeezing her tightly, Zara doing the same.  
"Look after yourself little Jones..." Jessica had said to her when they'd left, patting her on the shoulder as she stepped out the door. Bucky had given her a friendly smile and a wave, putting his arm around Zara as they made their way down the hall.  
  
The ride back to the base was shorter with Bucky having to go a bit quicker to beat the weather. A rainstorm was looming behind them, the temperature dropping considerably. Zara hung onto him tightly, burying her face into his back and hugging him with her knees. The downpour held off until they were only a couple of miles out, Zara gritting her teeth as the first flash of lightening flickered as the heavens opened up on them.  
Bucky pulled into the garage, getting them home safely, the two of them getting off the bike quickly and making a dash for their room where it was warm and dry.  
They laid their helmets, gloves and jackets out to dry, both of them ending up in the bathroom together stripping their wet clothes off, Zara in fits of giggles as Bucky struggled to peel her wet skinny jeans off. With one mighty yank they finally came free, Zara still on the floor, Bucky kneeling in front of her with a triumphant look on his face. She propped herself up as she leaned herself against the counter, going quiet when Bucky crawled towards her on all fours, stopping between her knees, his face an inch from hers. She bit her lip, suddenly feeling nervous, but at the same time wanting him to stay there. He went to back off at her reaction, Zara closing her knees against his sides, stopping him.  
"Don't go" She whispered, his lips turning up into a small smile. He leaned back in, kissing her tenderly, pausing to look into her eyes as if to check she was okay with it. She gave him a smile with her blue lips, Bucky standing up and pulling her up with him by her cold hands. She crossed her arms as he turned the shower on, pulling her in after him. He stood behind her, both of them getting under the stream, both still in their underwear. Bucky put his arms around her, kissing her on the cheek as they both warmed up.  
  
Zara turned to face him, reaching behind herself to unclasp her bra, letting it fall to the floor as she stepped in to kiss him, Bucky eagerly returning the kiss, snaking his arms around her, pulling her closer. He ran his hands down her back, letting them come to rest on her waist where he tightened his grip, feeling her body tense. She gasped a little, Bucky pulling away from her, a worried look on his face.  
"Sorry" She mouthed, leaning over to kiss him again, Bucky dodging her.  
"No, I shouldn't have pushed you" He said, glancing down at his hand, realizing it was gripping a deep bruise, "Or gotten busy with my hands..."  
"I like it when you're busy with your hands..." She chuckled.  
"Not when my hands did THAT" He said, crouching down to get a closer look at the purple mark up her side.  
"That wasn't you, that was my fault... I was the one who decided to cause a car wreck"  
"Only because you were running from me"  
"Only because I wanted to save you... Because I love you, Buck..." She said quietly, looking down at him as he stopped to look up at her. He closed his eyes, kissing the darkest part of the bruise before standing back up again.  
"I love you too, Zee."  
"We really have been through a whole lot together, haven't we" She said, pondering aloud as she thought back to the conversation with Jessica. She snuggled into his chest, relaxing as her body warmed up.  
"I was thinking that, myself before" He admitted, wrapping his arms around her again, gently this time, "Which is why I need to look after you, and you need to let me..."  
"I've been really good lately" She argued, feeling a chuckle reverberate through his chest.  
"You have... But don't be in such a rush for this" He said, running his fingertips down her side suggestively, Zara struggling to suppress a grin.  
"It's not your job to please me, and I don't want to hurt you. We'll be back to normal before you know it, you just have to be patient" He said, his voice almost a whisper, "I'm not going anywhere" Zara nodded against him.  
  
Bucky was the first one out of the shower, drying himself and heading into the main room to turn the heater on while she finished washing her hair. She was almost dry when he called out to her, something about a meeting with Stark in the morning. They spoke briefly through the crack in the door as she dressed herself in the sweatpants and fitted long sleeve top he'd brought in for her, and he pottered around tidying the apartment. Both Candice and Wanda would be on base first thing in the morning and a new mind shield would be getting tested, Bucky the first one to try the new design.  
Much to Zara's surprise he sounded really excited and positive about having his mind bombarded with attacks while trusting one of Tony's devises to protect him...   
  
Zara walked out after shoving all their wet clothes in the machine, deciding to do a quick lap around their room to gather up any other clothes that needed a wash, finding the off sock or shirt here or there. She picked her phone up, holding the 'on' button down as she made her way back into the bathroom, dumping the last few things in the machine. The phone lit up and vibrated as it came to life, Zara tucking it in her pocket while she added the washing liquid, pressed a few buttons and closed the lid, the machine coming to life. She hung the towels up, finally feeling content with the state of the room when her phone buzzed in her pocket.  
She pulled it out, unlocking the screen, her eyes darting up on hearing Bucky sit himself down on the couch and flick the TV on.  
  
_Unknown, 4.45pm_  
 _Little disappointed I haven't heard from you in a few days, princess..._  
  
She grit her teeth, deciding to ignore it as she locked the phone, only to have it vibrate in her hand again.  
  
_Unknown, 4.45pm_  
 _And don't ignore me, I know you're back home from your little trip today ;)_  
  
_Zara Jones, 4.46pm_  
 _And what little trip would that be?_  
  
Zara shook her head, no trackers, no GPS and only Rogers and Jessica Jones knew where they were for the day... Whoever this was, was clearly full of shit.  
  
_Unknown, 4.47pm_  
 _Testing the waters, I see?_  
  
The reply puzzled her until another message came through with a map, showing all her movements for the day, including the impromptu stop to get something to get lunch on the way home, which of course nobody but her and Bucky knew about...  
  
_Zara Jones, 4.58pm_  
 _So you have someone following me? Real ballsy, why not just show your face so we can get this over with, or did my company today intimidate you? Maybe something to do with what was left of your little organization dumping you and disbanding? Don't think we don't know what's going on. Fuck off or front up._  
  
_Unknown, 4.58pm_  
 _I'm well aware you know full well what's going on. You better believe we'll be fronting up sooner rather than later, and no matter where you are or who you're with, we'll be able to find you. Sleep well knowing you're being watched, you won't be laying next to him for long. The countdown is on, see you soon -Ward xx_  
  
Zara turned her phone off again, realizing that her breathing had deepened and her heart had taken off at a million miles per hour. She looked up through the gap in the door, Bucky laughing at whatever TV show he was watching, blissfully unaware of someone threatening her in the next room.  
  
_TELL HIM!!!  
_  
She shook her head at herself, one more day... Well not even a day, in a matter of hours they'd have a mind shield that worked. Once they had that set up, then she'd tell him. Yes, definitely... She let out a breath, making her way to the front door to test it was locked, Bucky looking up at her, raising a brow.  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah, just making sure we're safe in here."  
"If you had any idea how many weapons there were in this room, you'd leave the door open and invite trouble in" He chuckled.  
  
_Yeah, well I don't think I need to leave the door open for that..._  
  
She forced a smile, offering to make them a coffee before he had the chance to pull her up on it.  
  
_Okay, I know it's Ward, I know he's watching me, and I know he's planning to hurt, kill or capture me, possibly Bucky too... If I tell him, we go back to battle stations and everyone flies into a panic. If I wait till morning I'll have time to figure out how he's watching us, and Bucky will be protected, regardless. If he has a working shield, then we're both safe, simple as that. He won't let harm come to either of us if his mind is safe... Even if I did tell him now, there's nothing that can be done until the morning anyway... Suck it up, only a few more hours to go._  
  
"Hey Buck, what do you say we skip the coffee and have a nice, relaxing bourbon each?"  
"Sure, what's the occasion?"  
  
_To chill me the fuck out..._  
  
"No occasion, I just want to enjoy some time with you, and we haven't had a drink together in a while"  
"Sounds good, I'll get the bottle out"


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another long one for you guys as we get started on the really actiony-y part of this finale. Hope you enjoy, thanks again for all the hits and kudos on all three installments, you guys rock! :) Luv Kaytee xx

  
  
Being on the other side of a thick pane of glass, looking in at Bucky made Zara uncomfortable. She looked in at him sitting on an examination bed waiting for Tony, Wanda and Candice to come in and get started with him. He played with his fingers, looking down at them, obviously anxious to get the ball rolling when he looked up at Zara, giving her a smile which she returned.  
She let out a breath, knowing he was okay meant she was okay too.  
Tony entered the room after a short wait, Bucky looking uncharacteristically cheerful to see him, Tony even giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder as he set a bag down on a table out of Zara's view. Bucky watched as Tony opened it, holding up what looked like a microchip in a pair of long tweezers. The two men spoke briefly, Bucky nodding as if he'd heard it all before, glancing at Zara through the glass, catching her horrified expression when she realized it was an implant.  
Bucky offered her another relaxed smile to let her know it was okay, the telepathic girls entering the room shortly after. Tony opened up a laptop computer, booting it up as a nurse entered the room, sticking wires to Bucky's head with suction cups, his thick hair proving to make things difficult.  
  
_Don't even THINK about cutting it, you bi- ...Phew, thank god..._  
  
Zara let out a breath as she looked on, wishing she could hear what was being said in there. Tony had his back to her, calling Candice over to stand beside Bucky, the two of them listening intently, nodding occasionally as Tony explained what was going to happen. When he stepped back out of the way, Bucky gave Candice a smile and a nod, closing his eyes as she put her fingers to his temples.  
  
Bucky un-clenched his jaw, willing himself to relax as pleasant images entered his head little by little. Candice was being gentle with him as instructed. Unlike his last session with her, he was still very much aware of the rest of the room, her presence in front of him, the cool touch of her soft fingertips.  
He could hear Tony typing something in the background, and the images fizzled out after a minute or so, Bucky opening his eyes again.  
"Did it stop?" Tony asked, Bucky nodding.  
  
Tony grinned, telling Candice she could take a break while he entered in some information, watching as a progress bar loaded on the screen. His eyes darted down to the little plastic covered chip when the information had uploaded, and he instructed Candice to dig a little deeper, and push Bucky's mind a little further. Bucky signaled that he was ready by turning to her and giving her another nod and closing his eyes.  
  
  
  
  
_****_  
_The scene opened up before him as the dust from the quinjet began to settle... This was not an environment he cared to be in, crushed and half burned bodies in smouldering rubble as far as the eye could see. Rogers stepped out behind him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, saying something that made him relax. Backup had been called, and their job in the meantime was to see if there were any survivors. Seemed easy enough. After pulling the eleventh or twelfth body from the rubble, it was clear to see they were all Hydra. It had been a base, and someone had flattened it, someone who wasn't from Shield...  
They were ready to call it when Steve heard movement, snapping back into action pulling chunks of concrete up from the pile to reveal a young girl, battered but alive. Bucky's heart started to race at the thought of live Hydra agents being in the vicinity, if it was up to him, he'd give every last one of them a bullet between the eyes. He wheeled around, catching the sight of a bloody hand coming from under a cement stone wall. He lifted it up, pushing it aside as he lifted enough chucks of concrete and brick to find another girl, around the same age as the one Steve had pulled out. He stuck two fingers up under her jaw, the second shock of the morning coming when he felt a weak pulse.  
She had to have been a rookie, given her age, and someone either dangerous, or ranked fairly highly given she was the only one with a tracker around her wrist. The kind that was implanted into her skin with deep hooks to ensure it couldn't be removed. He pulled another chunk of rubble off her, wiping the soot from her face and tilting her chin up towards him. His stomach knotted when he got a good look at her, for reasons he couldn't pin down. Familiarity and guilt ate him up right there on the spot. Did he know this girl? He shook the thoughts off as he continued to clear the rubble from her body, his eyes darting to her face every few moments, a ball of ice forming in his chest. He cleared his throat, crossing her arms over her chest in preparation to lift her out, taking care with one that was very obviously broken. That tracker catching his eye again...  
No, he wouldn't freak out, he needed to calm down. There was no way he knew this girl, she was just a kid in her 20's. Pretty little thing, really... No! Why the hell was he feeling... What, empathy towards her? Ugh, don't go soft now... The more he looked at her bloody face the more feelings flooded him that he didn't like.  
Putting a bullet in her head crossed his mind while Steve was preoccupied, just to get rid of that uncomfortable sick feeling she was giving him. He wasn't ready to feel concerned for someone, never mind guilty that they were hurt. He'd hardly let his guard down to Rogers, never mind some mystery dark haired girl in a concrete grave. Was she even breathing? Damn... She was...  
He lifted her out gently, cradling her head against his chest as he stood. He wiped the rest of the soot and mud from her face, the knot in his stomach tightening again.  
How did he know this girl, and why the hell did he care so much about what became of her? What was the attachment, the fascination with her, and why the hell did he feel like keeping her safe was so damned important?  
Steve approached him, reaching out to check her pulse, Bucky pulling her away from him protectively.  
"She's alive" He said, his voice husky and quiet, "I've got her..."  
***  
  
  
  
  
_ Zara bit her lip, hands up against the glass as she watched his expressions go from pain to anger to sadness and back again. Either one of the girls would take their turn getting into his head, and Tony would make his tweaks on the computer until he relaxed again. They gave him a minute or two to gather himself up, and went again and again until eventually he didn't react at all to their attacks.  
By the time they were done he was obviously exhausted, a doctor came in, tilted his head forward until his chin touched his chest and gave him a local aesthetic. She quickly implanted the chip at the base of his skull, holding a cotton swab over the site for a few seconds before gathering her things up and leaving again just as quickly.  
The girls gave him one more hard hit each, Tony's face lighting up when Bucky sat without giving a reaction. He thanked them both and dismissed them, having a quick chat to Bucky, both of them turning to look at Zara for a moment. Tony nodded, approaching the door between them, Zara stepping back as he opened it slowly.  
  
"Is he okay?" Zara asked, worry on her face as she looked over Tony's shoulder.  
"He's fine, but it's taken a lot out of him and he's exhausted..." He said, Zara nodding.  
"So it works? He's safe?"  
"Those girls gave him absolute hell and he didn't feel a thing... Now that we know they work, I'll be making one for everyone."  
"And they're just a mind shield, nothing else? No trackers or anything?"  
"No, we decided against tracker implants, too dangerous... Too many people looking for us" Tony said, much to her relief. "Now get in there, he was asking for you."  
  
Zara nodded, Tony stepping out the way to give her room to get past.  
"I'll be back in a few minutes, just gonna get the big guy a drink"  
"Thanks Tony"  
  
The door closed behind her, Bucky looking up with tired eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. Zara stopped in front of him, her hands reaching up to push his hair back off his face. He smiled weakly at her, wordlessly wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest. Zara closed her eyes and held him, her hand rubbing his back gently, comforting him.  
"You okay?" She whispered, Bucky nodding in response as he let out a tired breath.  
"I just wanna go home..."  
  
  
  
  
Within the hour they found themselves back at their apartment, Zara setting Bucky up on the couch, reclining the seat back for him. She leaned over to get him a cushion, Bucky surprising her when he pulled her down beside him. She landed ungracefully half on top of him, both of them having a laugh as she straightened herself up.  
"You're supposed to be resting, not throwing me around the room" She chuckled, "I was gonna get you a cushion and make you a hot drink, maybe put a movie on for you"  
"I don't need any of that, I just need you here with me"  
"I'm here, Buck... Not going anywhere, I promise" She said softy, leaning over to leave a tender kiss on his lips. A frown stayed on his face when she pulled away from him, worrying her a little, Zara frowning as well now.  
"What's that face for?" She asked, settling herself in beside him, his arm still around her.  
"They showed me things that I'd forgotten about... All the things I've done to you over the time we've known each other... I haven't been a good guy to you" He said, his eyes avoiding hers for a few moments.  
"Yes you have, you've been amazing. I don't wanna hear otherwise, okay?" She scolded, tilting his chin with her finger to get his attention again.  
"All the times I should have kept you safe, but I didn't... I just wish I had of been there more for you when you needed me. It's any wonder you always tried to get yourself out of trouble, maybe you felt like you couldn't rely on me, or thought I'd only get angry or something-"  
"-Buck"  
"No... I think about that a lot. I used to get so mad at you for putting yourself in danger, and in every last one of those flashbacks I could have been there for you, but I wasn't." He said, his face solemn.  
"I put myself if danger, because that's just how things are for us, every mission in dangerous, and for as long as I can remember we've both had a target on our backs. Nothing's gonna stop me going out there and fighting my own battles, that's just who I am, I'm not going to sit around hoping someone's gonna run in and save my ass for me,"  
"But that's the whole point, Zee... I love that you're tough and you're brave... But I'm here to protect you okay?" He said, "No matter what happens, no matter what shit you get yourself into, I'll back you up every time - whatever the circumstances"  
"I know you are, Buck, you always have been. You were there one who pulled me from the rubble that day, you've run me out of the woods, shot and bleeding more than once... Stormed a Hydra base to rip me off an electric chair..."  
"Which you never would have been on if it wasn't for me"  
  
Zara let out a breath and rolled her eyes, frustrated now.  
  
"Enough of that talk. None of it was your fault. I was doing my job... Evidently, not very well" She said with a shrug, "Point is, you were there when I needed you, or I wouldn't be here right now to tell the story - you jumped off the Memorial Bridge into icy cold water for me! Not many guys would be up for that" She said, cocking a half smile as she caught eye contact with him again.  
"It's not really a big deal" He chuckled,  
"Yeah it is, I can't tell you how much I would have preferred NOT to go for a dip in the Potomac that day, or practice my high-diving" She chuckled back.  
"It really wasn't that bad"  
"I'm getting cold just thinking about it... Water isn't fun for me"  
"You liked it at Bora Bora"  
"Yeah because it was warm, and I knew you weren't about to let me drown"  
"That's because you hung onto me like it was life and death" Bucky laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.  
"It WAS life and death - we were in deep water, remember? Nothing to like about it"  
"We'll have to fix that"  
"Not today. You need rest, and I need to go make you a hot drink, get you a blanket and do nurturing girlfriend things"  
  
Bucky smiled, reaching up with his free hand to pull the quilt from the back of the couch over so it was covering them both, pulling Zara close enough that they could recline back together. She let out a sigh as she took the hint, rolling onto her side and resting her head on his chest, feeling his arm tighten around her, his hand coming to rest on her waist.  
  
It wasn't long before she felt his body relax and his breathing slow down and deepen, she'd never seen him this worn out before. Zara closed her eyes as well, not wanting to move from fear of waking him, and if she was honest with herself, there wasn't anywhere she'd rather be.  
  
When she opened her eyes there was that weird sensation of not being sure how long they'd slept, if someone had told her it was the following day she probably would have believed them given how stiff her muscles felt. Bucky had woken up at the same time, Zara reaching over to the armrest to unlock his phone to check the time, surprised that only a couple of hours had passed. She put the phone back down, realizing that Bucky was watching her, and somehow he looked 100 times more alert than she did.  
"Was just checking the time" She mumbled, wiping her eyes as she stretched.  
"I know"  
"You've got missed calls from Stark too. Your phone must have been on silent"  
Bucky groaned and yawned at the same time, stretching his neck to both sides, the bones cracking each way. He rolled over so he was face to face with her, his fingers tracing her jawbone for a second before he kissed her, both of them smiling when he pulled away from her.  
"How are you feeling, headache still there?" She asked, pushing the hair from his face.  
"It's gone, and I actually feel fine... Must've needed the rest"  
"Told you" She sassed, Bucky shutting her up by pressing another kiss to her lips, "You better call Stark back, he was probably ringing to check up on you"  
  
Three loud bangs on the door made them both jump, Zara's first instinct being to hang onto Bucky, and his first instinct being to sit up, shield her and pull a gun from wherever the hell he was hiding one.  
"Barnes, it's Tony, open up!" Came the voice from the other side, giving Zara's heart a chance to slow down before it exploded.  
"Where'd the gun come from!?" She asked, surprised.  
"I have them everywhere" He whispered back, pushing the footrest of the couch in, sitting them both upright.  
  
Bucky jogged to the door, pulling it open for Tony to burst through, the worried look on his face sending Zara's heart into overdrive again. She pulled the quilt up to her chin as if to protect herself as her and Bucky waited for an explanation.  
"There's been an attack nearby. It's Hydra"  
"-What happened?" Bucky cut him off.  
"Botched assassination, not like them at all. A bar down town got blown up, and cops were shooting at their own. Obviously something big going down, we need to get you guys out"  
"No, we need to get down there. Which bar was blown-"  
"-All non-enhanced agents are being moved to a safe location. I'm not asking, Zee" Tony snapped, shutting Zara up. He threw Bucky a set of keys, "That means you too while you're recovering. Keep yourselves safe. Take my car - nobody can track you in it, not even me. Got a safe house?"  
"Yeah I have a few-"  
"Don't say it out loud, just pack a bag, take her, and get out. I'll call when I have news... Stay safe" He said, his voice softening at his last few words. He darted back out the door, Zara having already pulled a bag out ready to pack. Between her and Bucky, they had themselves ready to go in minutes. They pulled jackets and boots on, Bucky doing a final lap to gather up a few weapons, strapping an alarming number of them to himself. Zara had to admit she was impressed that she couldn't tell there was a single one on him. He handed her a couple, shoved more in the already bursting bag and swung it over his shoulder. He grabbed her hand and before she had time to think they were jogging down the corridor and making their way into the underground garage. They found the car, a sporty two door, Bucky unlocking it and trowing the bag on the back seat.  
  
"Get in the back, Zee" He ordered, Zara giving him a look as memories from their last drive to a 'safe house' came flooding back, "I know babe, trust me I get it. But I need you in the back where you can stay down" He said, taking off his jacket as she begrudgingly pulled the seat forward and got in.  
"Jesus Christ..." She muttered, ignoring the sick feeling in her stomach.  
"Trust me... Lay down, hang onto something, and cover yourself with this... I'm not taking any risks with you this time, you just gotta trust me, okay?" He asked, throwing her the jacket as he closed the passenger door, put the seat back up and got in the driver's seat.  
  
The car came to life with a roar, Tony's taste in cars sending a wave of relief through Bucky as he reversed and pulled out of the driveway. The scene that unfolded in front of them as they got closer to the edge of the city was one of chaos, Bucky calling back to her to hang on tight, stay down and to apologize to her once again as he negotiated the roads.  
The plus side of there being so much drama unfolding is that they weren't likely to be pulled over for speeding, not that the cops would have bothered giving chase, given the speeds they were traveling at.  
Zara scrunched her eyes shut, hanging onto the seat-belt as the car swerved, memories of her last car trip plaguing her, her breathing picking up pace as she felt a panic attack threatening. At least this time she'd gotten in the car of her own accord, although she wasn't so sure if she would have preferred being as aware as she was now.  
She grit her teeth, counting in her head, thinking of anything other than Hydra or laying in across the back of a speeding car, hidden under a super soldiers' jacket... The very super soldier who strangled her and threw her into the last car, dazed and bleeding.  
  
_No! You're over that, it wasn't his fault and you know it._  
  
Bucky was saying something to her that she couldn't make out over the ringing in her ears or the sound of her heart thumping hard in her chest. She felt the car slow down and come to a stop and she listened hard for gunshots or anything else that may threaten them, instead hearing Bucky repeat her name as he pulled the jacket away from her.  
Zara gasped in fright, sitting up straight and pushing herself as far away from him as she could, all her senses overwhelmed as fear gripped her. Bucky unbuckled his seat-belt, keeping the car running as he reached out for her.  
"Zee, it's just me, we're okay..." He soothed.  
  
She took a deep breath, nodding as she swallowed hard.  
  
_Get a grip!!!_  
  
"Zee, come here..." He said gently, reaching a hand out to her which she scooted close enough to take, "It's okay, you're allowed to be freaked out. You're safe with me..."  
"I know, I'm sorry... I'm fine" She stammered looking everywhere but at him.  
"Come on up front, climb over... I've got you" He said, Zara nodding as he hung onto her, helping her as she awkwardly stepped over the center console and sat down on the front seat. He reached back, spreading the jacket over her lap to keep her warm, and handing her phone to her. She buckled her seat-belt as he shifted back into first, the car taking off again.  
  
He shifted into sixth, reaching over to take her hand which was still shaking, his thumb gently stroking her knuckles as he interlocked his fingers with hers. She let out another breath, commanding herself to relax.  
"You okay?" He asked, glancing over to her.  
"I'll be fine" She lied, looking straight ahead through the windscreen.  
  
Bucky let out a breath, giving her hand a squeeze, deciding it wasn't worth arguing with her. She'd settle in her own time like she always did, it was any wonder she was a shaking mess, given the situation. He shut his mouth, dropping his foot lower to the floor, eager to get to the house as soon as possible.  
It was a good forty minutes before either of them said another word, Zara's hand relaxing in his finally before the peace and quiet was interrupted by her phone beeping. She looked over at him, Bucky releasing her hand so she could check her messages.  
  
_Jessica Jones 3.55pm  
Hey, are you safe?_  
  
"It's Jessica..." Zara said, feeling Bucky's eyes on her, as if waiting for an explanation.  
  
_Zara Jones 3.55pm  
Yeah we got out, are you okay? What's going on down there?  
  
Jessica Jones 3.56pm  
We're fine. Came home to a ransacked apartment, so went to see Luke. I got there and his bar had just been blown up... Not sure what's going on, have gone somewhere safe. Will keep in touch._  
  
"Fucking hell..." Zara muttered, reading the messages out to Bucky as he pulled down a quiet gravel road, "Do you think it was Ward trying to get our attention? Why else would they go after Jessie and Luke?"  
"Well they got our attention alright... But we won't get theirs where we're going" He said, going back through the gears before turning down a long straight road, Zara glancing out both windows as the car was engulfed in shadows.  
"Where are we going?" She asked nervously,  
"A little place that neither Hydra or Shield know about... Somewhere we'll both be safe"  
"Please tell me it's not a tree-house?" She said, watching as they headed deeper and deeper into the woods, a chill running through her.  
"No," He chuckled, "But it's pretty secluded... Like I said, I'm not taking any chances with you this time"  
  
_Zara Jones 4.01pm_  
_Shit, sorry to hear... Look after yourselves, talk to you soon. Z_  
  
Zara tucked her phone back into her pocket, crossing her arms over her chest for warmth as they finally came to a driveway, pulling into it quietly, Bucky parking the car behind the house where it was out of sight from the road.  
  
"Here we are..." He said as he turned the car off, "home sweet home for a while"  
  
Zara peered out the window, the first thing she noticed is just how cold and dark it was under the cover of the trees. They stepped out of the car, Bucky pulling a gun from his holster and thumbing the safety off as he swung their bag over his shoulder. He gestured for Zara to follow him, his metal arm shielding her protectively as they made their way to the back door.  
A code pressed into a hidden key-panel unlocked the house, Bucky locking the door behind them. He handed Zara a gun and ordering her to stay alert. They searched the house between the two of them, finding it was clear of any hidden threats.  
  
It didn't take them long to make up the master bed, Zara sitting on the edge of it to test the mattress.  
"It's actually really comfortable..." She said, surprised.  
"Of course it is, I set this place up... As I said, nobody knows about it, not even Rogers" He smiled, sitting down beside her, "The windows are sealed, bulletproof glass, the doors are all fitted with deadlocks from the inside and the outside is only accessible by password, which I'll get you to memorize. There are weapons hidden everywhere, I'll show you where they all are just in case" He said, taking her hand again.  
"Hot water?"  
"Yeah, just gotta turn it on, electricity too and security blinds so no-one can see the lights on from the outside."  
"It's like a fortress..." She said darkly, "Or a prison..."  
"Definitely not a prison. It's MY version of a safe house, so it should actually be safe... So don't look so nervous" He said, giving her a playful nudge earning a hint of a smile from her.  
"Sorry... My track record with 'safe houses' hasn't been that great..."  
"Well I'm in control of it this time, so you have nothing to worry about" He said, Zara nodding, still not completely comfortable, "I'll go turn the power and water on, why don't you have a hot shower and I'll give you a massage when you're out?"  
"You don't have to do that"  
"I want to. Get your butt into that bathroom right now, you'll feel better for it. I promise."  
  
Zara let out a sigh, standing up and taking his hand to follow him through the dark house, keeping an eye out for the baddies she'd convinced herself were hiding in the shadows. Bucky opened one of the kitchen cupboards, reaching in to turn everything on from the hidden fuse box.  
The house lit up, a smile crossing Zara's face as she saw the kitchen and lounge room for the first time.  
"Wow..." She said, her voice quiet, "It's nicer than I thought it'd be"  
"As I said, Its all mine"  
"You've got good taste"  
"I certainly do" He said, turning to her, leaving a kiss on her forehead, "It's not the only house, either..."  
"Seriously? There are others like this?"  
  
Bucky nodded, chuckling at her disbelief and curiosity as he led her into the bathroom, hitting the light and watching her face light up at all the rooms' modern features.  
He pulled the shower door open, turning the tap on to let the water run for a minute to warm up.  
"How many others?" Zara asked as Bucky took her jacket off, laying it on the counter.  
"A couple..." He smiled, dodging the question.  
"And how the hell did you pay for it all!?"  
"A lot of people I assassinated were pretty well off... There was a time when I was out of cryo for a while, long enough to start getting my head together and make plans to get away from Hydra. I stashed away a little nest egg before I was tracked down and wiped again. That was the last time I was kept off the ice for more than a few weeks... Too risky." He said with a shrug as she unlaced her boots, pulling them off one by one.  
"Then there's the old bank accounts that had military payments in them until I was declared dead... I had Pepper look into it for me, once they worked out the interest and all the paperwork they legally had to give me access. Well, once I was done with all the court hearings, which took a couple of years..."  
"Holy shit..." Zara said, shocked as she peeled her jeans off.  
"I guess I can tell you all my secrets now that we're away from prying eyes and listening ears..."  
"I never asked you about all that legal stuff... I've always been curious about what happened with all that, and how you weren't locked in a cell after all those kills..."  
"They eventually considered me a 'victim of war' and in this day and age being mentally unstable gets you out of pretty much everything. Tony came to my defense as far as explaining how the machinery was used, and the damage it did... Then there was the psychological torture and all that shit. That's why I had to surrender to Shield, see a shrink regularly and there's a few other conditions, but it beats the hell out of being caged up."  
  
Zara gave him a smile as she stepped under the steady stream of water, the warmth relaxing her instantly. She had to stifle a laugh at Bucky, awkwardly not knowing where to look.  
"Wanna join me?" She asked, Bucky rubbing the back of his neck, letting out a chuckle.  
"I'd love to, but first things' first - I need to find us something to eat and turn the heater on"  
"Okay, I won't be long, I wanna hear more of these Bucky Barnes bits of back-story"  
"There's not a whole lot to tell, really" He said, pulling a towel out and leaving it by the door. "All just court rooms and legal mumbo-jumbo..."  
"I can't believe you have houses..." She chuckled, "I never knew"  
"Nobody knows. I've only set them up since being back at Shield so it's been a bit of a project to keep us safe if we ever needed..."  
"Not even Rogers?"  
"Nobody, you're the only person other than me who knows... And you're the only person that NEEDS to know..." He said, stepping back over to the glass door, Zara pushing it open. "I'll help you memorize the locations and the entry codes, we'll go over it when you're done in here"  
"That's kind of a big deal, Buck..." She said, humbled.  
"I hope you now understand how serious I am about you, Zee" He said quietly, tucking her wet hair behind her ear as he leaned over to kiss her gently. She bit her lip, nodding when they pulled away, suddenly feeling guilty for every secret she'd ever kept from him, for every time she'd been afraid of him, and for every time she didn't trust him completely...  
  
"I love you Buck..." She said, her voice croaky from threatening tears, making him chuckle a little.  
"I love you too" He said, leaning in to kiss her again, "Have your shower, I'll find us something to eat, okay?"  
  
She made a mental note to lay all her cards on the table, all the messages from Ward, everything. Every fear, every insecurity, every single thing that had ever stood between them. It all needed to come out in one way or another, and it needed to be done here in this house where the walls didn't have ears...  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zara spills about everything, and Bucky takes appropriate action to protect them both. All the cards are laid on the table, so to speak, the two of them relived to have some normalcy between them again... For now.  
> Holy crap I've been so lazy with this chapter. I did another extra long one so that should keep you all occupied. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy! Really loving all the recent hits on the other two parts of my fic, really happy to hear you're enjoying it :)  
> Luv, Kaytee xoxo

  


The following morning Zara found herself in the kitchen after a restless sleep. She'd stayed up talking with Bucky after a bowl of canned soup, going over his early days at Shield. The conversation had steered in the direction of their first training room encounter, Zara getting a rise out of teasing him.  
  
"So when I first walked in that door what did you think of me?" She'd asked, batting her eyes at him.  
"Troublemaker, for sure!" He'd laughed, Zara swatting him over the chest, "What!? I'd been warned about you!"  
"Oh come on, I wasn't THAT bad - you could have ended up with one of the barbies" She'd joked back, Bucky biting his lip as he stifled another laugh, gathering himself up.  
"I definitely WOULDN'T have ended up with one of the barbies... That's for sure. I hate ditzy girls"  
"They sure liked you" She teased, "You had a room full of potential 'Mrs Barnes' in there just waiting for their chance" She said, giving him a playful elbow, stirring him again.  
"Who would have thought I'd fall for the snarling pain in the ass in the back row?" He'd stirred her right back, pushing her onto her back on the couch, pinning her there as he hovered over her. He'd leaned in, kissing her in a way that made her heart race, Zara having to catch her breath as he pulled away.  
"Fine... I did think you were cute... I admit it" He'd said, giving her a grin that she couldn't help but return.  
"I thought so"  
"Why do you think I suggested private classes?"  
"So I didn't kill anyone?"  
"Yeah that, and I wanted to figure you out... Something that's evidently taking longer than I first thought" He teased again, kissing her, the two of them breaking apart again when the giggles had set in. Bucky's face had gone from joking to serious, making Zara a little nervous like it always did. She propped herself up on her elbows, their faces almost touching as Bucky stood his ground hovering over her, not backing off.  
"What's wrong?" She'd whispered, a little worried.  
"Nothing... I've got you here, and we're safe..." He'd said, leaving a kiss on her forehead, "It's nice not having to worry..."  
"That _would_ be nice" She'd agreed, Bucky's expression softening as he brushed a loose hair from her face.  
"You know... It's okay to be scared, Zee" He'd said, letting out a breath, Zara breaking the eye contact, looking away self-consciously.  
"I'm not sca-"  
"You're talking to _me_ , remember? You don't have to have this fake brave face plastered on all the time. I don't know about anyone else, but I can see right through it. I'd rather you be honest then tough" He'd said, his voice low. Zara had nodded, the Ward texts on the tip of her tongue, guilt consuming her for not telling him earlier. She'd opened her mouth to speak, to own up to everything, stress showing on her face. Bucky had shushed her, putting a finger to her lips and leaving a kiss on her forehead before lifting himself off the couch, and helping her to her feet.  
"I'm here, you're safe" He'd said, her face in his hands, "Let's go to bed, we'll talk in the morning, okay?"  
Zara let out a sigh, nodding to him before he pressed his lips to hers again.  
  
  
  
It was cold in the kitchen that morning, Zara wished she had of asked Bucky how the heating worked in this strange house. She plugged the coffee pot back in, turning it on as she turned to find where the mugs were kept. She stood on tip-toes peering into one of the upper cabinets, spotting 6 shiny black mugs which were unfortunately pushed to the back out of her reach. She stretched out as far as she could, her fingertips barely touching the handle of one, when movement behind her caught her attention.  
Bucky chuckled at her predicament, making his way up behind her, one hand on her waist, the other reaching in to retrieve two mugs, placing them on the counter.  
Zara let out an amused huff as Bucky pressed a kiss to her temple, letting it linger as he pulled her close for a few moments. She leaned back into his chest, relaxing there as she reached up to absent-mindedly hold on to the arms that were now wrapped tightly around her, closing her eyes and enjoying the security of his embrace.  
The ding of the coffee pot interrupted their moment, Bucky pulling a vacuum sealed bag of powdered milk from another cupboard while Zara poured the drinks.  
"Sorry, this is all we have..." He said, pulling it open and scooping a spoonful into each coffee, stirring them both.  
"That's fine" She said kindly, her voice quiet and a little hoarse as she reached over and picked one up, taking a sip.  
  
"Feeling any better after last night?" He asked, sympathy in his voice. Zara had to think about it for a few moments, the memory of waking up from a nightmare coming back to her.  
"Ugh, I'm so sorry about that..." She said, embarrassed.  
"Don't be, I told you I'd look after you didn't I?"  
"Yeah, but not at your own expense-"  
"-Says the girl who literally died for me"  
  
Zara blushed, looking down at her coffee, letting it warm her hands.  
"To be honest I was touched -well, relieved, really- that you were calling out for me in your dream" He smiled, making his way over to lean on the counter where he could be beside her, "beats trying to take on the whole world by yourself, huh?" He asked, giving her a wink. Zara's stomach dropped... It was now or never.  
  
"...Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that..." She said, setting her drink down nervously. Bucky picked up on her worry, his whole body stiffening as if to brace itself.  
"I should have told you earlier, but I didn't know if it was legitimate or not... I thought someone was playing a joke on me, and now I just feel like you're going to be mad at me for not saying something earlier, well I KNOW you're going to be mad at me-" She babbled, gesturing with her hands, Bucky losing patience with her.  
"Zara, what's going on?" He cut her off, setting his drink down on the counter harder than he meant to.  
"I'm in trouble..." She blurted out, letting out a shaky breath, "well 'we're' in trouble... And I don't know what to do about it..."  
  
Bucky frowned as if he was going to go into Winter-Soldier death mode, Zara's heartbeat quickening as she held his gaze, her jaw clenching as she let out a breath before continuing on.  
"Ward contacted me, but I didn't know for sure if it was him... I don't know how he got my number" She said, stepping away from Bucky as she pulled her phone from the charger in the wall. She opened her inbox, flicking through until she found the saved messages.  
"He knew we went to the city the other day..." She said, handing Bucky the phone so he could see for himself, "He said he's been watching me, but I don't know how."  
  
She watched him scroll through the messages, an intense look on his face and a clenched jaw. Zara bit her lip, awaiting the inevitable wrath of Bucky. He set the phone down gently, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose as he let a breath out.  
"Has he contacted you in the last 24 hours?" He asked calmly, looking up at her.  
"Not that I know of, but there's been no reception" She answered honestly. He picked the phone back up and made his way to the back door of the house, peering out the window in all directions before stepping out into the yard. Zara followed him, watching as he held the phone up, looking for the hot spot. Right on cue the phone buzzed, a message coming through which Bucky opened and read before handing it to her.  
  
_Unknown 5.34pm_  
You're a long way over state lines, princess. Not running away from me are you? See you real soon - W  
  
"Holy shit..." She whispered, looking up at Bucky who was staring at her with arms crossed and an unimpressed look on his face. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier, Buck. I wasn't sure-"  
"That doesn't matter right now" he snapped, holding his hand out for the phone, Zara giving it to him without another word. She followed him back into the house, locking the door behind her. She jogged after him as he stomped back over to the kitchen and watched as he pulled a drawer out, pulling out a small screwdriver and began pulling the handset apart.  
"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, not finding what he was looking for. He paused for a moment, looking up at Zara, his face suddenly full of worry.  
"...What?" She asked nervously.  
  
He pulled a small flashlight from the same draw the screwdriver had come from and stepped over to her, pressing his free hand against her chest, backing her up against the wall.  
"Take your sweater off" He ordered her, Zara obliging him. She dropped it on the floor by her feet, hugging herself nervously as she looked up at him, body shaking.  
"Don't look at me like that..." He said, his voice softer and more forgiving than it was earlier.  
"I'm sorry..." She whispered, her expression still defensive.   
"Don't worry about it" He said after letting out a breath, as if pulling himself back into line, "We'll talk about it later. Right now I need to know how he knows where you are"  
  
Bucky reached over her shoulder, entering a code into the keypad on the wall, the shutter blinds coming down to seal the windows from the outside. The lights in the kitchen came on, Zara now feeling more claustrophobic than ever.  
"You were scanned for trackers last time you were with Hydra... But they didn't re-scan you after the time we spent together when I wasn't... Myself..."  
"You'd remember implanting someone with a tracker, surely?" She gathered the courage to ask, Bucky shaking his head before she even finished her sentence.  
"Not if they ordered me to inject myself with some sort of sedative first" He said, reaching over to feel her over, pressing hard around her hairline behind her neck, and tracing his fingers under her jaw. Zara held her breath and closed her eyes, not daring to move as she felt his hands searching her skin for any abnormalities, a single lump or bump, anything.  
"There's a few hours from when we first got to the house that I don't remember" he admitted, pulling the flashlight from his pocket, "Open your mouth" he ordered, holding her jaw. Her eyes widened at his strange request, Bucky pressing her even harder against the wall to keep her still as he tilted her head back. She opened her mouth, chest heaving as panic set in, Bucky jamming the metal flashlight in, tilting her head back even further. She felt him feeling around under her jaw, his thumbs pressing against the skin making her flinch as he found a tender spot.  
  
He cursed under his breath as he removed the flashlight from her mouth and let go of her, Zara gathering the courage to open her eyes and look at him. He had a frown on his face as he set the flashlight down, leaning back against the counter behind him, giving her space. She kept her mouth shut, not daring to speak, hoping he'd come up with some sort of an explanation before the suspense gave her a heart attack.  
"You've got a tracker chip under your jaw... And it's gonna have to come out" He said, his voice regretful. Zara nodded, watching as he pulled a switchblade from his other pocket. She swallowed hard, ignoring the thoughts in her head that made her want to cry. It was her worst nightmare all over again - locked up, and a super soldier with a knife to her throat. Twice within the same few weeks...  
"I guess that's karma for me not telling you earlier..." She said with a shaky voice and a shrug, trying to lighten the mood. She bit her lip to hold tears back, trying her best to shake off her fear and let him do what needed to be done.  
"Don't say that... I should have spoken to you, I could see you were worrying about something. You clammed up and I let you, because I thought you were afraid of me..."  
"I'm not afraid of YOU, Buck. I'm afraid of THEM... I admit it, okay?"  
"Then why didn't you come to me when this happened?"  
"Because I knew you felt guilty about what happened. You were angry and on edge... Last thing you needed was more drama when I wasn't even sure if it was really him or not... I wanted to figure it out first"  
  
There were a few minutes of awkward silence before Bucky spoke up as he played with the knife in his hand.  
"Last thing I wanted to do while we were here is stick a knife blade into your throat or hold you against your will... I wanted you to feel safe and welcome here with me, but that's not gonna happen at this rate..." He said, sadness in his voice.  
"You wouldn't have to do either of those things If I was honest with you from the start" She said apologetically, her voice still shaky and stressed.  
"Or if I had the guts to confront you... We're too protective of one and other. It's not always a good thing is it?"  
"No, it's not..." Zara agreed, letting out a breath as she mentally ordered herself to relax.  
"If this is going to work, we both need to start being honest with each other. It can't be me protecting your feelings, or you protecting mine anymore. We're both guilty of doing it, and it's gotta stop."  
"I guess it's not even a matter of being hurtful with us... It's life and death, huh"  
  
Bucky nodded, making his way towards the cabinet above the refrigerator, retrieving a bottle of vodka from it.  
"I'm sorry for everything, Buck. I thought I was doing the right thing... I was an idiot." She said, Bucky letting out a sigh as he approached her again.  
"I'm sorry too" He said, leaning over to kiss her tenderly, "really, I am..." that apologetic look on his face still.  
"We're cool?" She asked,  
"We're cool" He answered, kissing her again. "You ready to do this?" He asked, nodding towards the knife and the vodka bottle.  
"No, but let's just get it over with..."  
  
He led her down the hallway into the bathroom, turning all the lights on as they stepped in the door. He took a towel from the cupboard, rolling it up and placing it on the bathroom counter, along with the knife and the bottle before pulling the drawer open to retrieve a long pair of tweezers and some steri-strips.  
He laid out everything he needed, including the flashlight before turning to her. He scooped Zara up, laying her flat on the counter, placing the towel gently under her neck so her throat and jaw was exposed. He wet a cotton ball with some vodka, rubbing it over the site before picking up the flashlight again, turning it on.  
"This needs to go back in your mouth, Zee" He said, showing her the flashlight. "It'll illuminate the skin under your jaw so I can see the chip. It'll make for a quick, neat cut"  
  
Zara reached out, taking it from him and sticking it back in her mouth, closing her eyes as she shoved her hands under her butt, pinning them there so she wouldn't react. He washed his hands, dried them and flicked the blade out, sterilizing it with the alcohol. Zara's body trembled as she listened for each sound. She felt his hands under her jaw, stretching the skin taut.  
 "I'll be gentle..." He assured her, Zara noticing a shadow over her as the skin behind her eyelids went from a pink glow to darkness. He touched the blade to her skin, asking her again if she was ready, her breathing picked up pace.  
"Zee?" He asked again, gently taking the flashlight out, Zara's eyes opening, full of fear. She looked up at the blade in his hand, before her eyes met his, her body trembling even harder.  
"Sorry... I'm okay" She stammered, giving him a nod to reassure him.  
"I don't like this any more than you do, but it's the only way to keep you safe" He said, leaning over to kiss her tenderly, his face sincere,  
"I trust you... Let's do this" She whispered, tilting her head back again and putting the flashlight back in her mouth as she closed her eyes.  
  
She gasped when she felt the sting of the blade, Bucky moving quickly with the tweezers to remove the chip. Zara's toes curled at the same time her fists clenched against the pain, feeling him dig for the tiny piece of technology in her flesh. It was all over quickly which she was thankful for, and he was quick to press a gauze pad onto the wound and gently take the flashlight from her mouth.  
"All done, babe. I got it" He said, pulling her hand out from under her butt and pressing it over the gauze pad to hold it there, "You okay?"  
"Yeah..." Zara said as she opened her eyes, looking up at Bucky who was still holding the chip in the tweezers, examining it.  
"Sorry I had to do that" He said, looking down at her, brushing the loose hair from her face with his free hand, his thumb stroking her cheek gently, her expression softening.  
"What now, do we destroy it?" She asked, gathering herself back up again.  
"Hell no... We take it to another location to lead them away from here... After I patch you up" He said with a smile.  
  
Bucky was just as nifty with the first aid as he was cutting the tracker out, Zara loosing minimal amounts of blood and leaving little mess on the counter top. She'd insisted on him letting her have a swig of vodka from the bottle, Bucky not having the heart to say no. They both dressed warmly for the drive, arming themselves thoroughly while they were at it. Zara slipped the chip into a small plastic bag as Bucky re-assembled her phone, a triumphant smile crossing his lips when it turned on without a hitch.  
  
They left the house, locking up before making their way to the car quickly, Bucky checking it over for explosives, trackers or damage as he always did. Zara kept her mouth shut, deciding not to pick on him for it this time. She placed the chip carefully in the cavity beneath the car stereo so it wouldn't get damaged.  
The drive itself was quiet, Bucky not being a big talker while he was driving - well, not a big talker when he was concentrating on anything, rather. Zara took advantage of the silence, willing herself to relax as the first hour ticked by. She glanced over at Bucky who was intensely glaring out the front window, relieved when his expression softened and he looked back at her, offering a gentle smile.

  
"Not far away now..." He said as if answering her unspoken question.  
"Where are we headed?" She asked, Bucky nodding towards a sign that she barely had time to read before they whizzed past it. All she got out of the whole thing was something about a truck stop with a motel.  
"You're going to plant it at the motel to buy us time?" Zara asked, Bucky glancing over to her, a worried look on his face.  
"If you were on the run, would you stay in the one place?"  
"Oh... I guess not..." She said feeling utterly stupid - "So what's the plan?"  
"Watch and learn" Bucky said with a wink as he pulled into the truck stop.  
  
He pulled a baseball cap onto his head, discretely handing Zara a loaded gun, firmly instructing her to stay in the car at all costs. He closed the door locking it from the outside as he made his way into the building, picking up a few supplies and studying the people around him. He emerged from the shop a few minutes later, a ridiculous amount of full shopping bags in his arms as he approached the car. Zara smiled to herself, finding something about Bucky carrying groceries utterly adorable in comparison to the usual blazing-guns version of himself.  
He unlocked the car, sliding the bags onto the back seats, glancing over his shoulder again for a moment before his eyes met hers again. The tiniest hint of a smile crossed his lips as he took the chip, attaching a small square of duct tape to one side of it. He stood up again, closing the car door and locking it from the outside, Zara watching on as he approached a big rig.  
  
The driver was leaning against the side of the truck having a cigarette, and seemed like an okay guy. Bucky struck up a conversation easily with him, and from where Zara was sitting, she could see he was obviously all too happy to have a stranger admire his truck. Before long the truck driver was happily gesturing at it, explaining something that Bucky looked super interested in, both of them laughing together occasionally.  
The two of them walked together to the back of the truck, Bucky's hand reaching out to touch it occasionally, continuing to ask questions as he did. The two shook hands with a warm smile and parted ways not long after that, the look on Bucky's face completely devious and satisfied at the same time as he made his way back to the car.  
  
He opened the door, sliding into the driver's seat, giving Zara a smile before he started the engine.  
"Let's get outta here" He said as they pulled out onto the road, the car accelerating hard like always. The drive was a relatively quick one with conversation kept to the usual minimum except for a brief explanation that the chip was now attached to the truck and bound for the other side of the country.  
  
_Clever!_  
  
Zara checked her phone as they made their way up the long driveway, Bucky glancing at her as she did. She told him there was nothing there, showing him the screen as he pulled the car up behind the house where it was out of sight.  
Bucky was the first one out, instructing Zara once again to stay put as he pulled a pistol out, checking the area for threats before entering the code in the keypad by the back door and opening it. He disappeared into the house for a few moments before making his way back out and over to the car, letting her know it was safe to get out.  
He gathered up the bags of groceries and they made their way up the back porch, Zara following Bucky in, closing the door behind him. The bags were dumped on the bench, both of them letting a sigh of relief out that they were home safe.  
"I got us some supplies..." Bucky said as he started unpacking the bags. They were all items that would last, lots of vacuum sealed things, canned soup and jars of sauce. He grinned as he pulled out a couple of blocks of chocolate, Zara letting out a gasp of excitement, both of them laughing together.  
The two of them put everything away, Zara pausing when she came to the last bag, turning to face him as she bit her lip as if to gather the courage to speak.  
  
"Buck?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm really sorry for all of this... Well, for everything really" She started, letting out a breath as she pulled two cans of soup from the paper bag in front of her, her hand diving in for the rest.  
"I just wanted you to know that. I should have been honest with you as soon as that message came through, it might have saved a whole lot of trouble... And it wasn't that I thought you couldn't handle it, or that I couldn't trust you... I just have this irrepressible urge to keep you safe, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't swallow it down, even when I know I should. It's my fault these things happen to us, and I just wanted you to know how sorry I am, and that it won't happen again" She added, letting out a breath before making eye contact with him again.  
  
"You don't have to apologize, Zee. I have the same problem when it comes to you, believe me - I understand"  
"No, it's not good enough, Buck. We're a team, and I'm the one who's not being a team player... I know you get this idea in your head that I'm afraid of you sometimes, or I don't trust you, and it's just not true. Well, maybe I was a little cautious after THAT few days, but it's only because of everything that we've been through. My nerves are just shot... I don't handle things like I used to" She said, stepping back from him when he'd tried to comfort her.  
  
"So much has happened to us... From our starts at Hydra to now. Especially when I was shot and taken, that was hard on both of us, and  since then we've had targets on our backs... And now Ward is after us. He even turned you against me and we _both_ almost died... Truth is you're right. I AM scared. I'm absolutely scared to fucking death that they're coming back, and once again we'll be either taken or running for our lives, and sometimes I just don't think I'll have it in me to fight back. I'm not as brave as I was, my hands still tremble when I hold a gun, and I can't stop them-"  
"-Zee" He cut her off, "I know all of that, and I'm still here, aren't I?" He asked, closing in on her again, Zara letting him this time as he wrapped her in his arms.  
"I'm not going anywhere, and you don't have to apologize. Yeah, I get mad at you for keeping things from me. Like, really mad, but on the same token I know why you do it. I don't like it, but I get it. There've been plenty of times where I haven't given you the whole truth to protect you, the only difference is that you haven't found out, and it's worked out.." He said, feeling her nod against his chest and let out a breath of relief.  
"I know your nerves are shot, you haven't slept through the night since you came back from Hydra, you jump at your own shadow, and you freeze up in the sparring ring - I've seen it..."  
"Oh god..." She moaned, beyond embarrassed.  
"But you know what? I'm here to help you, and if you got yourself in trouble - I'd be the first to step in" He said, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "you can count on it"  
"I know you would, I just don't want to be that girl who needs saving... I used to be so brave"  
"Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You just need to relax, know that you're safe, we're good and all the cards are on the table... There's nothing else is there?"  
"No" Zara said, stifling a chuckle, "that's everything, I swear"  
"Good" He said with a smile, Zara standing on her tiptoes to kiss him softly, Bucky kissing her back with enthusiasm as he tucked the loose hair off her face behind her ear.  
"I don't deserve you" She whispered when they broke apart, Bucky raising a brow at her.  
"Enough of that talk, you're just having a rough patch is all... You've been there for me, now I'm gonna be there for you. That's how this whole thing works - in case you didn't realize" He said with a smile, making her chuckle.  
"You're such a smart-ass" She said, pulling him in for another kiss, feeling his lips smile against hers.  
"You wouldn't like me if I wasn't"  
  
Zara glanced over at her phone when they pulled apart, suggesting they go back into the yard hot spot to check for messages. Bucky agreed, watching from the door as Zara made her way over to the corner of the yard, eyes on the screen. Sure enough after a few moments it beeped and vibrated in her hand.  
"Here we go..." She said quietly as she opened the message, glancing over at Bucky who was waiting with baited breath.  
  
_Unknown, 2.15pm_  
 _On the run again are we my princess? Don't worry, we'll catch up real soon. I promise - W_  
  
Zara swallowed hard, looking over her shoulder as she made her way back over to the porch, handing Bucky the phone as she stepped in beside him.  
"The truck must be on the move again... Is the driver in danger? I don't want anyone dying because of-"  
"He's a veteran, still young enough to defend himself. He's also carrying an arsenal in that cabin... The worst Ward will do is have the truck searched by his uniformed guards - for stowaways - and send the guy on his way. He won't want to draw attention to himself after what happened in the city yesterday. Security's gonna be tight."  
"And when they realize that the tracker's been planted on board?"  
"That'll take a couple of days... And by then we'd better be on our way home..."  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this update has taken so long. Life has been crazy and I haven't had much time to write, but here it is. Hope you enjoy!  
> Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
A smile crossed Zara's lips as she woke, the room materializing around her. Strong arms were wrapped around her, an almost inaudible robotic whirr of the metal arm draped over her catching her attention as it came to life for the day, along with its owner. Zara felt him move behind her, his metal hand brushing the hair off her face, the cold touch to her skin being warmed by lips, kissing her neck, jaw and cheek. She tried her best to stifle a giggle as she rolled over to face him, her hands running up his body as she kissed him, before her forehead came to rest against his chest, both of them simultaneously letting out a sleepy breath. They stayed like that for a while, just happy to be in each others' arms, Zara nearly falling back to sleep again.  
"Come on sleepy head, get up and I'll cook you breakfast" He chuckled, giving her a squeeze.  
"Five more minutes..." She moaned, trying to ignore him as she buried her face into his chest.  
"What if we add coffee to the mix?"  
"Ugh, fine..." She chuckled, pretending to be annoyed.   
  
Zara propped herself up on her elbow, stretching till the bones in her back cracked, letting out a satisfied breath.  
"You okay?" Bucky asked, his eyes going to her bare ribs to check for fresh bruises as the quilt slipped off her.  
"Of course I am, just tired and feeling a bit stiff... SOMEONE kept me up half the night" She said with a giggle.  
"Well, you seemed to be enjoying yourself..." He retorted, "I was just worried I'd gotten carried away and hurt you" He added, looking into her eyes for clues.  
"Oh Buck..." She sighed, leaning over to kiss him, "You didn't hurt me, I promise. You worry too much"   
He nodded, a smile crossing his face again as they both sat up.   
"If anything I was impressed - for a guy who hasn't had any action in weeks you were very restrained"  
"Well I couldn't swing you off the chandeliers first time back, could I?" He laughed, "Not when you're still bruised from the crash... Amongst other things..."  
"We'll get there" She smiled, leaning over to kiss him again, "just remember as much as you worry about me - I worry about you the same. It's just another thing we've conquered together"  
"True... Hopefully we can do some more conquering soon" He grinned, cocking a brow.  
"Definitely" She chuckled, batting away his advances, "But first I need coffee, and I believe you mentioned something about breakfast?"  
  
  
  
  
After showers, Zara predictably found herself in front of the kettle, waiting for it to heat through while Bucky surprised her with his culinary skills, whipping up pancakes from scratch.  
"So since when could you cook?" She teased, her face betraying her mocking tone as she watched him flip them in awe.  
"I lived on my own for two years after everything with DC... Had to feed myself didn't I?"  
Zara giggled, nodding in response, her face still colored impressed as she poured a coffee for each of them. She put his cup beside the stove where he could reach it, giving him a pat on the butt, making him grin.  
"Careful, I might get used to this" She said, nodding down to the perfectly golden stack on the plate.  
"If we didn't live at Shield, I'd cook for you every day" He said with an endearing smile.  
"Hey, I can cook, too you know?"  
"Breakfast tomorrow? You're on" He grinned, Zara returning the smile as she gathered up a couple of plates and they made their way to the table.  
  
As usual, conversation was kept to a minimum while they ate, both of them having plenty on their minds. Zara was the first to finish, Bucky teasing her about how little she could fit in compared it him, both of them having a good laugh about it.  
  
"So I've been thinking..." Bucky started out of the blue as Zara rose from her seat to gather the plates, "Instead of staying here another night, I say we make a move... And sooner rather than later"  
"Last known location?"  
"Exactly"  
"I was thinking the same thing..." Zara said in agreement, taking the dishes to the sink and filling it up, testing the water temperature on the back of her hand before adding the detergent. She got through the washing up quickly, Bucky finishing his pancakes and bringing his plate to the sink, Zara taking it from him to wash.  
"So when were you thinking we make a move? Like, now? Or later on?" She asked, not making eye contact with him.  
"I thought if we hit the road as soon as we could, get a good head start?"  
Zara nodded, putting the last plate in the dish drainer. She turned to pull the tea towel from the hanger, Bucky stopping her.  
"What's wrong?" She asked  
"You washed, I'll dry."  
"You cooked, so I'll clean..."  
"Why don't you go get your stuff together, we'll load the car up, and go from there?" He suggested, "I'll dry these and put them away"  
"My stuff is together - I never unpacked" She said, handing him the tea towel, "I'll pack the car"  
"You're not going out there alone"  
"Why, do you think we're in danger here?"  
"There's no way of knowing that... I'm not taking risks with you, we've been over this." He said, his no nonsense face on and his tone firm.  
  
Zara let a breath out and paused while she chose her words.  
"You can literally see the car from here through the back door... Why don't you arm yourself with your usual six million guns and go check that the yard is safe then?" She suggested with a shrug, "...Oooor I could be a big girl and check for myself?" She added with a bored look on her face.  
"Take a gun" Bucky relented after a breath, pulling one from a drawer and handing it to her. Zara bit her lip to hold in a chuckle, finding it funny that he literally had guns hidden everywhere.  
  
_Remind me never to break into Bucky Barnes' house..._  
  
Zara reached out to take the gun, Bucky using it to pull her over to him as she grasped the handle.  
"If it doesn't feel right, Zee-"  
"-Jesus, Buck... Why don't you go poke your head out the door and check for me, it'll take 2 seconds" She cut him off, growing tired of the dramatics, "Please?"  
Bucky let out a breath, trying to look annoyed, but relieved to be secretly getting his own way. Zara let go of the gun, letting him take it and lead the way down the hallway. He opened the door, methodically checking the yard for intruders, not forgetting to check the car and either side of the house as well just to be sure. He handed her the gun and the car keys, Zara pulling him over to her where she planted a kiss on his lips.  
"Thank you" She said, not letting him go until a smile finally crossed his face.   
"No problem"  
"I knew you wanted to check the yard yourself..." She teased, "You _are_ a bit funny about these things..."  
"Funny?" He repeated, brows raised in mock-offense, Zara nodding matter-of-factly. Bucky chuckled, letting out a breath as he considered her words.  
"Fine... I guess I am a bit protective..." He admitted,  
"A _bit_?"  
"I can't help it, you mean too much to me"  
  
Zara smiled, touched, taking his face in her hands and pressing a tender kiss to his lips.   
"I'm glad I've got you" She said, "it definitely feels safer with you around"  
"That's the idea" He smiled, looking over his shoulder to scan the yard again as Zara disappeared back into the house to get their bag.   
  
Bucky made his way back to the kitchen and started drying the dishes, watching her like a hawk as she made her way down the hallway and loaded the first bag into the trunk of the car.  
"Buck, are you done with all your bathroom stuff, can I take it out?" she called out as she wandered back into the house, heading for the bathroom.  
"Yeah all done, thanks babe" He called back, trying his best to look like he hadn't had eyes glued to her.  
  
She wandered into the bedroom to do a clean sweep, coming out with his phone and charger which she gave to him as she pulled hers from the wall in the kitchen.  
"Can't forget these!" She beamed, tucking her handset into her back pocket. "I'll put the chargers in the bathroom bag, they won't fit in the big one... Should we take some of the extra food you got with us?"  
"Good idea" He said, putting the last plate away and hanging up his tea towel to dry, "I'll bag it up and bring it out - you just want the chocolate don't you?"  
"Hmmm, maybe?" She chuckled, "What about the towels and bed sheets? I hung the towels up and they're almost dry..."  
"We'll pick up the washing when all this crap is over" he said, Zara nodding.  
"So have you heard any news from New York or what was going on down there?" She asked, pausing, lost in thought suddenly.  
"No, nothing yet... We know it had to have been a ploy to get attention, they're not usually that sloppy. Especially the fact that Cage's bar was the only building that was attacked"  
"And Jessica's apartment..."  
"That, too" Bucky agreed, "That's all I know about the attack, but we have reason to believe that Hydra are divided because of Ward. It's bad enough that they've gone to war with themselves, but they're still doing what they can to 'recruit' anyone enhanced so they can take Shield over while they're at it"  
"Recruit or take against their will?"  
"Obviously the latter" Bucky said with a shrug as he pulled a shopping bag from under the bench and started loading food into it.  
"Well... Lets hurry up so we can get going then. I'll run these few things out to the car, and come back to help with the food. The sooner we can hit the road, the better" Zara said, swallowing hard as the thought of Bucky being captured entered her thoughts.  
  
_Of course that's why Ward's been harassing you, you idiot. He's using you to get to Bucky. What better asset could he get his hands on than a super soldier they can control... It worked pretty well for them last time they had him. But they can't use mind control, can they? No. They don't know about the implant...  
  
_ Zara shook off the dark cloud that seemed to have formed over her head, loading the bathroom bag into the car and tucking the chargers into the side pocket. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she pulled her phone from her pocket, wondering to herself if there had been any more messages from ward. She unlocked it, stepping away from the car towards the back of the small yard, the bars on her phone lighting up as it found signal, only to drop out again. Frustrated, Zara smacked it against the palm of her hand a few times, having never been very patient with technology. She let out a breath, shrugging to herself as she shoved it back in her pocket, deciding that is wasn't worth the hassle.   
A glance up into the house made her smile, Bucky was hurrying around the kitchen packing what looked like several very heavy bags. She chuckled a little, sure she hadn't said to pack it ALL...   
  
The noise of a snapping twig behind her sucked her back into reality quickly, Zara wheeling around to see a man approaching her slowly, tactical gear on and a gun raised.  
  
_Oh how typical..._  
  
She pulled her own pistol from the back of her jeans, ignoring his warning that she'd be shot, successfully calling his bluff.  
"Gutsy, aren't you, Jones?" He remarked, a sadistic smirk on his face.  
"Me?" She laughed, "You're the one who's about to have more shit rain down on you than you can possibly comprehend..." she added, stifling a grin knowing a certain super soldier would be storming out the back door any second to see her being threatened by someone with a sizeable rifle. Just for good measure she flicked the safety off her pistol and put her finger on the trigger to show him she was unafraid and up to the challenge, shrieking with surprise when an unexpected bullet blew the gun right out of her hand.  
Open mouthed she turned in the direction of the offending bullet, finding she'd been ambushed from both sides and was now unarmed.   
  
_Come on Buck, now's the one time I'll let you swoop in and do the hero thing...  
  
_ "Put your fucking hands up and turn around" The first guy yelled out to her, the sound of the second guy reloading his gun making her swallow hard.  
She begrudgingly did as she was told, listening out for them as she turned, raising her hands. She caught eye contact with Bucky who had looked up from his bag of groceries as he stepped onto the back porch. His face went from relaxed to furious as he produced a powerful handgun, making his way over to them with a threatening stomp. He pulled the trigger, releasing three bullets at lightning speed, shielding his face when they bounced back at him, seemingly hitting some sort of an invisible barrier.  
  
_Oh fuck..._  
  
Zara's stomach dropped, that horrible feeling that she was in deep shit engulfing her as Bucky made eye contact with her again, his face screwed up in a mixture of fear, anger and worry. His mouth was moving, Zara's breath picking up pace when she realized that whatever barrier that had formed between them was also soundproof.  
Her eyes darted sideways when the gunman reached her, Zara whipping around to grab the offending rifle by the barrel and throwing her elbow into the guys' face. He let out a grunt, fighting back against her, not letting go of the gun. In the meantime the two who were flanking her came running up to join the fight, Zara using the barrel of the rifle in her hand as a baton to smash into the face of one of her attackers, knocking him to the ground. The guy at the other end of the rifle gave it another hard yank to try and free it from her grip, forcing her into him, but she was quick to raise a knee to his crotch and take possession of the gun, swinging it like a baseball bat at his face, hard. She wheeled around to point it at her last remaining attacker, finger on the trigger, when something hit her in the back of the head, making her drop to the ground.  
  
Zara groaned as she composed herself, looking up through foggy eyes to see Bucky desperately laying into the force field as if trying to smash through it. He paused for a breath, glancing down at her on the ground, his expression utterly heartbroken. She tried to get up, a foot in the back pressing her back into the cold, wet ground, muffled voices above her muttering something she couldn't make out over the ringing of her ears.  
  
_Shit, shit, shit...  
  
_ She was pulled to her feet, her back against the chest of someone tall and muscular, arms constricted around her. A familiar voice called something out and suddenly like flipping a switch she could hear outside the force field again.  
"Bucky RUN! Get out of here-" She started before a hand was slapped over her mouth, shutting her up.   
"LET HER GO!" Bucky roared, his fists hitting the invisible barrier between them again, her captor emitting an amused chuckle before speaking up.  
"Let's get this thing straight, Barnes" The voice behind her snapped, no longer amused with Bucky's anguish, "I'm the one calling the shots here. Got it?"  
  
Bucky glared...  
  
"I've wanted to get my hands on this little spinner for quite some time - for a number of reasons..."  
"Take me instead-"  
"Shut up! What part of 'I call the shots' don't you understand?" Came the unamused voice again, "Let me cut to the chase, we'll be taking you BOTH"  
"Yeah good luck with that" Bucky chuckled, the wheels in his head turning as he stalled for time, trying to think up a plan to get them both out of there. Zara made eye contact with him again, wishing that his presence was more reassuring...  
"Well you can always stay behind, we'll just take Jones and be on our way-"  
"STOP!"  
"Thought so."  
  
Zara glanced down, it quickly becoming evident that her captor was none other than Grant Ward... No wonder Bucky looked so angry, and no wonder the arm around her felt like a steel vice. Still, she'd beat him before and there was no reason she couldn't try and beat him again. He always kept guns on him, and today would be no exception. She listened as he explained that if Bucky didn't come quietly, she'd be shot, and watched as his face fell, no doubt thinking back to the last time she was shot in front of him. He also said something about Larson which she didn't catch all of, but was sure it was along the lines of 'if you don't co-operate, you'll be forced to'...  
  
Bucky made eye contact with her again, this time reading her as she thought up a plan, subtly shaking his head at her as if to will her not to do anything rash.  
  
_Screw it..._  
  
Zara swallowed hard as she lifted her foot, bringing her heel into his shin, catching him by surprise long enough for her to swing her closed fist into his crotch. Wards' henchman all snapped into action in a heartbeat, Zara spinning to grab his gun, shooting three of them dead in seconds. She dropped out of his grip, taking advantage of the distraction, pointing the gun at him and pulling the trigger.  
  
*Click, click, click*...  
  
_Oh shhhhhit..._  
  
She could hear Bucky yelling and pounding at the force field, Zara's adrenaline pumping like crazy as Ward straightened up. She hurled the gun at him, being too far away for physical combat, Ward catching it and tossing it aside, a sinister grin crossing his lips as his hand went to his hip.  
Zara's eyes darted up to the woods which started at the edge of the yard, only a few steps away. There was no more options, so she decided to make a run for it. Her legs started before her brain had finished making the decision, part of her now full of regret as she wondered how the hell she was going to outrun a bullet.   
Her chest burned as she darted in between the first few trees, the deafening crack of gunfire filling the air, followed by a sharp sting in her right shoulder. She heard Bucky scream out as she fell to the ground, it occurring to her that it wasn't an ordinary bullet she'd been hit with. She reached behind her, pulling a dart out, thanking her lucky stars it was just a tranquilizer. A look back saw Ward laughing as he re-loaded, and Bucky raging like she'd never seen, his fists pounding against the invisible barrier in slow motion as the world darkened...  
  
"As I was saying, Barnes... You can either come quietly, or we leave you behind. Your choice dictates her fate. Obviously if you come, she's just an insurance policy if my boy Larson runs out of steam. If you don't, she'll be taken to a secret location and you can guarantee she'll be begging me to slit that pretty little throat by the time we're through." Ward snarled, narrowing his eyes as one of his men threw Zara over his shoulder and took her off to an awaiting jet.  
"What's it gonna be, Barnes? Ready to come back to Hydra?"  
  
Bucky let out a breath, his hands up against the 'glass', and his heart torn to shreds. It was an easy choice to make, he knew the mind shield would protect him as long as he could keep it secret. Most cells or restraints wouldn't hold him, and going with them, he'd be with her and could break them out when opportunity presented itself. Maybe he could even take Ward down once and for all while he was at it... Watching him shoot her had only stoked the fire in his gut, the frightened look on her face as she hit the ground etched into his memory already.   
He already knew Ward had started his own division of Hydra, and that things weren't going so well for them. He also knew they didn't have the tech to do mind wipes or brainwashing, the best thing they had was this Larson character who was no threat to him...  
  
Bucky glanced up, watching as the uniformed soldier disappeared into the woods with Zara over his shoulder. He turned back to Ward and raised his hands in surrender, Ward grinning as he signaled with his hand, more soldiers emerging from the scrub with guns pointed and fingers on triggers.  
The force field was dropped in time to see the first jet take off, Bucky dropping to his knees on command soldiers restraining him with high-tech cuffs.  
  
_Back into the lair of the beast... Let's do this._  



	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, another chapter for you guys after a long time away from writing. Finally starting to wrap this series up, I'll be sad when it finishes! Thanks so much for all the hits, kudos and comments, have had a few this week which was what spurred me into action! Hope you all enjoy this latest chapter, will get stuck into the next one soon - lots of action coming :D  
> Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Bucky squinted, shielding his eyes with the back of his hand against the harsh fluorescent lighting as he woke up. The first thoughts entering his head were a fluster of things like _'Where the hell am I?'_ And _'How the hell did they knock me out long enough to bring me here?'_ Closely followed by _'Where the hell is Zara?'_ And _'They better not have hurt her'...  
_ He groaned inwardly as he sat up, his eyes settling on the familiar smug face of Grant Ward, who'd clearly been waiting for Bucky to wake up.  
"Where is she?" He snarled, his voice hoarse and gravelly, Ward barely able to contain his amusement.  
"Somewhere secure"  
  
Bucky grit his teeth and let out a deep breath as he studied his surroundings. The room was dark and cold, concrete floors and walls, and a noticeable lack of windows or fresh air. He screwed his face up at the damp smell, his eyes now locked on the jail-like upright bars around his cell. Something like that would be a piece of cake for him to break out of with his superhuman strength and metal arm, but if he knew one thing, it was that things were never that easy. Especially where Hydra and Ward were concerned.  
  
"Yes, you have a force field around you..."  
  
Bucky glared at him, not dignifying his remark with an answer.  
  
_Well no shit...  
  
  
  
_ The next few days came and went uneventfully. No amount of yelling, screaming, threatening, and thumping fists against bars got his questions answered. Every time he asked if Zara was okay and where she was, he was either sneered at or told the same thing - "she's secure".  
Bucky had overheard a few of the guards talking about the 'pretty, dark haired girl' in another cell and it was enough for him to work out she was behind the thick metal sliding door on the far side of the room. He'd figured out there was some sound-proofing going on as his attempts to call out to her had fallen on deaf ears... Or unconscious ones... The fact that he could hear the guards but not her was enough to make him worry even more, he hated knowing she was on the other side of the room, probably hurt, and he couldn't get to her. It was bad enough that she was supposed to have been under his protection, in his safe house when all this happened. What kind of guy let someone shoot and kidnap his girlfriend, right out from under his nose!?  
  
He began pacing back and forth again while worst case scenarios entered his mind, followed by desperate attempts to come up with escape plans, none of them feasible the more he thought about it. He slammed his fists against the bars again out of sheer frustration, someone yelling back at him to settle down.  
  
Bucky grit his teeth and let out a long breath, trying to calm himself.  
  
"What's the matter, Barnes?" Came the smug, cockney voice of an armed guard as he sauntered up to the cell, coming face to face with his prisoner. "All riled up are we?" he added with an arched brow and a grin that Bucky would have loved to knock straight off his face.  
"Where is she?" Came the same inane question Bucky had been asking since he woke up on the floor several days ago, the guard letting out a chuckle, amused at his worry.  
"Like we keep telling you - she's secure" He said, lapping up the power trip. "Feisty little thing, isn't she? I bet you like that though, don't you?"  
  
Bucky glared.  
  
"Don't worry though, we settled her down good and proper. Bet you haven't heard a peep from behind that door, have you? Think about it, Barnes. Let that thought sink right in" He said, giving a wink which made Bucky feel sick.  
"We had our bit of fun first, though. Waste not, want not, and all that... A few of us got our pound of flesh, don't you worry about that, eh!" He said with a laugh, Bucky losing his temper, slamming against the bars again over and over until the guard was called away, Ward stepping into view in the dim light.  
"BARNES!" Ward called out over the ruckus, Bucky stopping for a moment, chest heaving, jaw clenched and hands pulled tightly into fists.  
"What the FUCK is going on, Ward!?" He demanded, almost unable to control himself at the thought of those men touching her, or worse... "WHERE IS SHE!?"  
"Don't mind my guys" Came Ward's answer with a relaxed, nonchalant shrug.  
  
Bucky screwed his face up as if he could hardly believe what was going on. He shook his head as his breathing picked up pace again, the urge to explode becoming harder and harder to suppress.  
"Zara's fine. Well, she WILL be fine... Can't have her dropping dead on us just yet - not when I have so many plans for you guys" Ward said with a wink, "I'm always thinking of the future, Barnes, so don't you go worrying about a thing. I've got you covered."  
"Let her go... I told you I'll stay. You've got control of me, you already know that. _I'M_ the one you want-"  
"Don't assume anything about what or who I want, Barnes" Ward snapped, cutting him off, "She's the one who caused all of this. She's an enemy of Hydra-"  
"They've had their revenge already, they destroyed her-"  
"You don't take out hundreds of people, bases and put them at war with Shield and live to tell the tale-"  
"Hydra's ALWAYS been at war with Shield, Zara made no difference there!"  
"Shield have never carried out an all-out attack and taken out all their fucking bases! She was responsible for that-"  
"-And she paid with her life!"  
"Bullshit, she's still alive now - for the moment. We only got 6 months out of her until you fuckers took her back, only for her to take my arm... Which worked out okay for me in hindsight once they got me all teched up," He said, holding out his metal arm, "But Hydra don't forget an enemy, and if they get her, she's fucked, you both are."  
"They!? You mean YOU!" Bucky snapped,  
"I'M not Hydra"  
"...WHAT!?" Bucky almost spat at him, shaking his head in disbelief at what he was hearing,  
"Oh come on, Barnes. Surely you've figured it out by now?"  
"What, you've gone rogue? No surprises there-"  
"I want Hydra finished. Gone."  
"So I'm supposed to believe you're one of the good guys now?"  
"Oh I never said that" Ward shrugged with a sideways smile, "But that's all you need to know. Zara's secure, like I said... She's safe and alive as long as she's here."  
"No, that's bullshit, Ward... If you're not Hydra, then why the hell are we here? I don't believe for a second you've got Zara locked up for her own protection after what I've seen and heard-"  
"No, you're here because I need your help. Zara's here because I need leverage to control you... _And_ I have a personal vendetta against you both." Ward said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms, "I always get what I want, Barnes. It's time you learned that."  
"Just answer my question... Is she okay?"  
  
"She will be if you co-operate with us. So far the few times you haven't been so compliant, she's paid for it... Just remember that next time you lash out at one of my guys."  
  
  
  
  
Zara shivered, knees pulled to her chest as she sat on the cold concrete floor in the corner of the room she was locked in. She licked the inside of her lip where it had split when they'd hit her, the sting a stark reminder to not try anything again. She'd heard some sort of a commotion across the other side of the huge room they were in and had assumed that it was Bucky, the guards confirming it when she heard them making fun of them. One of them telling the other how he'd told Bucky they'd done certain things to her, Zara thanking her lucky stars that it was untrue at this stage. She was under no disillusion that they weren't capable of unspeakable things, her thoughts going to the men in the tunnels when she was at Hydra. She felt sick, the urge to throw up in her mouth becoming harder and harder to suppress the more she thought about it.  
  
She wondered what would happen to them and hoped that they hadn't done anything terrible to Bucky. If the chip worked, then he'd be safe against mind control attacks, and there wasn't much a mere mortal could do to hurt him physically... Zara felt sick again, the harsh reality being that if they wanted to hurt him, they'd hurt her and shove it in his face. She was there for leverage, simple as that.  
  
Zara let out a breath, closing her eyes so she could concentrate... There had to be a way out, and as much as she wished and hoped, Bucky was not going to be the one to bust them out, not with a force field around him...  
  
_Come on, THINK!  
  
_ Her eyes explored the room she was in, looking for any imperfections in the walls and doors, any clues pointing to  a way out... The roof would have made a nice escape point if it weren't so damn high up, obviously they'd thought about that when setting the place up. She was still yet to work out what kind of building they were in, her guess was some kind of bunker or basement, maybe even a refitted underground car park or something? It was anyone's guess if she was honest with herself.  
The only rooms she'd seen was the one she was sitting in, which was little more than a concrete box with a heavy steel sliding door - and then there was the room they had set up as a medical examination room. Granted, she'd only seen snippets of it through swollen, sore eyes when she'd first woken up from whatever drug they'd pumped into her system to knock her out. Her thoughts wandered to Bucky again, what kind of room he was in, and how long they'd been trapped there - again, time had escaped her with the lack of windows, clocks, or routine. The fact she'd been knocked out had thrown her as well as she had no idea how long she'd been out of it for.  
  
Zara let out a long breath, her eyes still closed as her mind continued to do its thing, working her situation out... There were only a few things she was absolutely sure of - she was alive and uninjured. Well, reasonably uninjured. Bucky was alive, she guessed that much when two of the guards came in on a couple of occasions, one roughing her up while the other one filmed it. She'd learned her lesson not to fight back, they made sure it hurt twice as much when she resisted them... No doubt it made for a more dramatic piece of footage then, too. It'd hurt Bucky more to see her helpless, so she'd decided to tough it out, shut her mouth, and take the damn hit without showing a shred of emotion.  
  
_Don't  cry, don't even flinch... Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing it hurts...  
_  
She shook her head at the thought of being a human insurance policy, and wondered if Bucky had been shown the videos yet. Maybe that's what the commotion was? Maybe they were stockpiling them to make up some sort of a sick compilation tape?  
Zara shuddered at the thought.  
  
The urge to get up and pace took her over as more thoughts entered her head - there were times where she could hear a commotion from the other side of their floor, guards yelling and taunting, and she was almost certain she'd heard Bucky's voice scream out at least once. She'd called out in case he could hear her, only for someone to come in and shut her up - that's where she'd gotten the split lip from. Since then she hadn't heard a peep from Bucky, despite the yelling and taunting continuing on. Sometimes the guards would brag to the others that they'd managed to set him off, which confirmed the force field theory in her mind - they had to have one around his cell. How else could they contain him without technology otherwise? It was the only thing that explained the occasional soundproofing effect, otherwise surely she'd hear him if he 'went off'. Bucky wasn't quiet when he was _really_ angry.  
   
Zara stopped pacing long enough to turn, leaning against the metal door, absentmindedly tapping it with the heel of her boot as the wheels in her head continued to turn. There HAD to be a way out, she'd gotten out of worse situations before-  
  
***BANG***  
  
She gasped with fright as someone hit the door hard, her ears ringing for a moment before she realized she was being told off.  
"Keep tapping on that fucking door, and you'll spend a night strapped to a gurney upstairs, GOT IT!?" Came a threat that suddenly sounded more tempting than it probably should have.  
  
_Upstairs... So we ARE in some sort of building basement.  
  
_ "JONES! DID YOU HEAR ME?" _  
  
 Any other room would be easier to escape than this perfect concrete box... If I can get out, maybe I can get to Bucky... But then there's the force field... How the fuck am I going to get through that? What if Bucky gets out and can't find me because I'm busy trying to find HIM? What if-  
  
_ "JONES!!"  
  
_Ugh crap... There's only one way out of this room and it's through that screaming idiot, and the team of other screaming idiots that will inevitably come running.  
You can't beat them all, or you wouldn't be here in the first place...  
Good point... If I can't beat them, and I sure as shit aren't about to join them, then there's only one option left...  
  
_ Zara swallowed hard and started tapping again at the door, louder than before as she listened to the jingling of keys on the other side of the door. She stepped away from it when it was opened, a very pissed off looking guard on the other side.  
  
_Here we go..._  
  
"Sorry, was I making noise?" She asked innocently, the guards' face becoming redder and redder as he strode over to her. She effortlessly ducked out of the way as a backhand came flying for her face, laughing at his annoyance as she dodged a second attempt. The third swing came as a punch, Zara deflecting it and returning one square in his nose and another in his cheek, making him stumble backward. He called out for backup as he came back for more, Zara making him look like an amateur as she dodged all of his attacks. The sound of several heavy sets of boots came echoing up towards them, Zara deciding she'd better make a move and make it quick. She grit her teeth stepping into him again, laying into him with a well timed combination of punches, followed by a knee into his ribs, doubling him over. He let out a gasp, winded, Zara taking the opportunity to send a boot into the side of his face, dropping him unconscious to the ground.  
She crouched down, admiring her handiwork while she searched him for anything useful she could conceal on herself, quickly pocketing a cigarette lighter before rolling him over to check his other pockets. She'd pulled out a set of keys and a small switchblade which was still in her hand when another two guards burst through the half open door.  
  
_Damn it, not quick enough...  
  
_ She stood up and held the knife up to them, swaying on her feet a little to fool them into thinking she'd been concussed in the scuffle. The guard closest to her grinned, striding over to her as she made it clear she wasn't playing around. She made an intentionally half-assed attempt to thrust the blade at him, letting him disarm her and taking a hard punch to the cheek. She stumbled back, feeling dizzy for real now as she watched them come at her.  
  
_And now for the finale...  
  
_ She clenched her jaw, fighting back for real, landing a few decent hits that even Bucky would have beamed with pride at. She managed to knock one of the guys to his ass, the second guy grabbing her by the throat and throwing her against the wall which she bounced off before hitting the ground. She looked up at him with a brow cocked and an amused expression as he bent down to pick her up by the front of her shirt, a sickening smile crossing his lips as he restrained her, her back against his chest.  
Zara swallowed hard when the second guy got to his feet, striding towards her. She braced herself as his fist sunk into her stomach, and another in the ribs, making her gasp as she lost her breath for a few moments. He hit her again, hard in the same rib for good measure, clearly happy with himself when she let out a strained whimper.  
"Is that all you've got?" She croaked out when she'd composed herself, spitting in his face when she got her breath back. He growled as he wiped his face off, wasting no time in letting his fist connect with her cheek, Zara struggling against the grip of her captor.  
The hits kept coming now, and were enough to dislodge her from the grip of the first guard, their laughter echoing around the room over the sound of her ears ringing.  
  
Zara hit the ground, laying motionless and quiet as they kicked her until they were satisfied. The original plan was to fake unconsciousness to warrant a trip to the infirmary, and to obviously make out she was hurt badly enough to be in there for a couple of days. Right now she was partly glad she wouldn't have to play it up after the beating she'd just taken... The other part of her regretted egging them on so much, and she worried to herself that she'd let it go too far. Now if the opportunity to escape presented itself she wasn't so sure she'd be able to get up and take it.  
  
_No. That's bullshit, you're fine. You've been hurt worse than this and come out of it in one piece, don't you dare start doubting yourself now... Bucky's depending on you, are you about to give up on him? No? Didn't think so... Suck it up.  
  
_ She stayed perfectly still and quiet, letting her body go limp when one of the guards lifted her arm off the ground by the wrist, letting it drop as if to test her.  
"She's out..." Confirmed one of the guards.  
"Ward's going to kill us for this"  
"No he's not, one look at Davis and he'll understand. Looks like she broke his nose, besides, Ward knows what she's capable of..."  
  
There was a pause while the two of them stopped to consider their situation, one of them eventually speaking up.  
"I thought she'd be harder to take down after the stories I've heard..."  
"You drug and starve someone - they're not going to be at their best"  
"You're right"  
"No shit..." Came the nonchalant reply as the guard bent down to scoop her up, Zara letting herself go as limp as she could. They had to believe she was unconscious for her plan to work...  
"Come on, let's get her upstairs. You'd better call ahead, make sure you tell them she pulled a knife on us... Make it sound bad."  
  
  
  
_I'm out. Everything hurts, but I'm out of that damn room... Christ, this is the stupidest plan ever and I'll only get one shot at pulling it off..._  
_Please, please, pleeeeeaaaase let this work!_  
  



	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Had a day off and thought I'd get a little writing done :D Hope you enjoy this chapter, a huge thank you to everyone who's read my story and been kind enough to leave a kudos or a comment. It really makes my day when a notification pops up, you guys rock!  
> Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
A deluge of thoughts flooded Zara's head over the next few days, the main one being how shocked she was at how hard just laying still was. There were plenty of times in her life - especially during especially demanding missions - when she thought she'd go home and sleep forever... Apparently this was easier said than done, given the opportunity.  
  
Initially, simple things like time became difficult to gauge without having eyes open to see when day became night, never mind having access to the clock she could hear ticking on the wall nearby. She'd tried counting the ticks but found it to be too monotonous a task, finding herself losing patience with it quickly.   
  
_I thought counting was supposed to put people to sleep!? Ugh..._  
  
She eventually got herself into a rhythm when she came to the realization that the machine to her left beeped every 30 minutes or so, and with every second beep, a medic would enter the room. The same one would enter the room three times before the footprints and mutterings would change, giving her a grasp on when the shifts would change.   
Her left wrist was handcuffed to the rail on the bed, which she was pretty sure was made from some sort of thick plastic. Unlike regular infirmaries, they hadn't bothered to bathe her or make her comfortable in any way, just doing enough to keep her well enough to serve her purpose. There was a blanket only just warm enough to stave off further illness, and the skin on her forehead and cheek felt tight and hard where the blood had dried and not been cleaned off. The beauty of this meant that she hadn't been stripped off, which also meant that the cigarette lighter she'd taken from the guard was still shoved into the band of her underwear.   
  
With that information she began to nut out the finer details of her plan...  
  
  
  
Bucky stretched his neck, his head going from left to right, straightening up before he rolled his shoulders back a couple of times, his metal  arm emitting a low whir. He looked down at the 'uniform' they'd given him, an almost exact replica of the one they'd made him wear during his time as the soldier. The leather was soft and tight to his body, stretching to fit his form with every movement he made.   
"Why the hell do I have to wear this shit if you're not Hydra, and I'm not the Winter Soldier?" He asked, his voice low and his tone annoyed.  
"Because what Ward says, goes... I believe you know damn well who pays for it if you don't comply" Came the cockney voice of the guard, a smug look on his face.  
  
Bucky let out a frustrated sigh, pacing quietly, wearing the leather and boots in.  
"What happened to your face?" He asked, not being able to resist being a smartass, his mouth curling up into an amused smile, which the guard didn't appreciate.  
"Never you mind that, soldier..."  
  
A dark cloud formed over Bucky for a few moments as it occurred to him that it may have been Zara... Every disobedience came with a consequence, and if she'd lashed out enough to cause that kind of damage to one of the guards, it was easy to guess what kind of shape _she_ was in... Unless Ward had intervened. 'She's safe... As long as she's here...' he'd said.   
  
_Safe... Yeah, like hell...  
  
_ He swallowed hard and tried to push the thoughts from his head. Worrying was only going to dull his senses, and he needed his wits about him if he was going to get them both out of there. He glanced up at the glass around the small office the guards had stationed themselves in, the reflection revealing to him that there was a man caged next to him on the other side of a thick concrete wall. His cell was much like Bucky's- three concrete walls, and bars across the front and over the top.   
Looking up, the roof was high above him with large square metal duct pipes that ran along the room with vents to let air through. He began pacing again as he tried to piece together all his options to formulate a possible escape strategy.   
The man in the cell beside him never spoke, and hardly ever moved. He was often addressed by the guards and seemed to have some sort of a positive rapport with them, which made Bucky wonder why he was locked up. The guards often handed him things through the bars which made it clear that he was the only one not contained within the force field.  
  
_Strange...  
  
_ "Get  your rest, Barnes. We have a mission for you in a few hours" Came the cockney voice again, Bucky making eye contact with him briefly before sitting back down on his cot.  
  
_Oh I'll get my rest, alright... The second that door gets opened, all sorts of hell is going to rain down on you, asshole...  
  
_  
  
  
The machine to Zara's left had emitted its beep and she knew she'd have about half an hour until the medic came in to do his checks. She'd made her mind up that it'd be this cycle that her plan would kick into action. She dared to open an eye just enough to study the room, confirming that the rail was indeed some sort of industrial plastic, and that the only sensor in the room was a security camera which was pointed at the door, rather than her bed.  
Zara swallowed hard, it was now or never...   
She opened her other eye, the glaring florescent light in the room forcing her to squint as her eyes adjusted. She shoved as much bedding under the rail as she could, pulling the cigarette lighter out and giving the little wheel a few flicks with her thumb, lighting it. It went up pretty quickly, the synthetic nature of the material giving the flame a hot, blue glow. The flaw to her plan presented itself when she realized that not only did the sheets burn too quickly to make a dent in the plastic, but it was incredibly hot against her arm.   
Zara grit her teeth as she folded the rail down, sliding off the bed, still cuffed to it. Her legs collapsed a little when they took her weight, Zara letting out a gasp as she winced, pain hitting her all over her body.  
  
_Suck it up..._  
  
She swallowed hard, holding the lighter against the mattress, relieved when it finally took, the heat coming from it much hotter than that of the sheet.  
She was initially disappointed when the plastic didn't start immediately melting like she pictured it would in her head, relief soon hitting her when she realized it was softening a little. She pulled against it as hard as she could, the cuff moving through the thick rail little by little, Zara worried now that she was making too much noise, drawing attention to herself with every hard yank. The cuff bit into her wrist, the broken skin quickly going from sore and red to bloody. She clenched her jaw, pushing through the pain, yanking at it again and again to get away from the heat of the flames which had now engulfed the bed in its entirety.   
Zara's breath picked up as panic and doubt took her over, her heart rate through the roof as she struggled to yank the cuff through the softening plastic of the bed rail. She put her foot against the bed and gave another series of violent yanks, the thought entering her mind that breaking her wrist might have been a better option in hindsight... It was only a matter of time before someone burst into the room and busted her now.  
  
With one last explosion of effort she pulled herself free, falling onto the concrete floor in a heap. She looked up and with perfect timing, someone had entered the room. She kept low, using the black smoke as a cloak to hide beneath as she snuck up on the man who was now wielding a gun and on high alert.   
Zara pounced on him, not wasting any time in disarming him. She used the butt of the pistol as a baton, thumping him in the temple twice, hard. He dropped to the floor unconscious, Zara searching him for anything else of use, finding a pocket knife that looked like it'd seen better days... She shrugged as she shoved it in her pocket - anything was better than nothing. She held her breath as she carefully maneuvered the burning bed under the air vent in the roof, climbing up onto it, avoiding the flames as best she could. She pushed the vent aside, and pulled herself up into the roof duct, the burning bed tipping onto its side as she pushed off it. She replaced the vent cover, peering back down into the room as the flames took to the wooden cupboards and made their way up the wall.  
  
_And that would be my cue to make tracks..._  
  
 Zara swallowed hard and looked over each shoulder, hesitantly making the decision which direction would be the best way to go... She hastily crawled on all fours to the next room, smoke following her along the duct quicker than she'd like.  
She peered down through the vent, realizing that she'd have to go much farther than she first thought if she was to find a way to get to Bucky. Now that the smoke was spreading, she'd have to hurry to get to him before security was stepped up, too.   
She held in a cough, hurrying along as fast as she could, peering down every vent she could to get an idea of where she was.   
Zara came to a small room, dark and obviously unused. She assumed it to be an office, and took the chance on it, pulling the vent back and dropping from the duct pipe onto a conference table, landing as softly as she could. She blew out a breath, her eyes crunched shut for a moment as she breathed through the pain in her ribs and chest.   
  
_What the hell am I doing?_  
  
_Come on, you can do this...  
_  
She shook off that horrible doubt feeling and got up, one hand over her sore ribs and the other holding the gun up as she made her way to the door quickly and quietly. She peered through the window in the door with her wits about her and her finger on the trigger. The corridor was empty and dark, making it an easy escape. She half jogged, half limped down the hall, coming to an elevator door, her heart sinking when she noticed that the lights on the floor buttons where out.   
  
"Shit... The fucking power's been cut" She cursed under her breath, wiping her brow as she took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm herself, panic well and truly setting in. She glanced over each shoulder while figuring out her next move...  
  
_There's no stairwell to the basement, and they've either cut the power, or it's gone out on its own. They either know something's happening or they're about to find out... Come on, Bucky needs you, THINK!  
  
_ Zara bit her lip, her eyes darting back to the elevator door. She shoved the gun into the band of her pants and squeezed her fingers into the gap in the door, forcing it open. She'd seen Bucky do this before and it wasn't until now that she appreciated how much strength it actually took... If he wasn't hurt, she was going to need every bit of that strength, speed and stamina to get them both outta there...  
The doors finally parted enough for her to peer into the elevator shaft, smoke pouring out, making her eyes water. Her stomach dropped, reminding her of an intense fear of heights that she wished she didn't have, even worse now that she couldn't see what she was doing amidst all the haze.   
  
_One slip and you're dead as a door-nail...  
_  
She said a silent prayer and jumped from the door, almost missing the elevator cable which she was aiming for. Her hands locked onto it desperately, the skin on her palms burning like hell as she slid to a stop. The pain in her hands was almost too unbearable to ignore, the air leaving her lungs in sheer unbridled panic. Suddenly she was convinced she couldn't do this, fear paralysing her-  
  
"You can fucking do this, Zara. Get it together or you both DIE!" She scolded herself out loud.  
  
She swallowed hard, involuntary tears leaking from her eyes as she loosened her grip, pushing through the pain as she hung onto that cable like life itself. One hand under the other she began to climb down, every movement hurting like hell.  
  
_Pick up the pace... You don't have time to fuck around, Bucky's life depends on this, and so does yours..._  
  
She found a rhythm, imagining she was on the ropes in the gym again, getting closer and closer to the basement floor. The lower she climbed, the easier it got for her, and the clearer the air got - for now.  
As her eyes adjusted to the dark she came to realize that the air ducts like the one she'd just been in, vented into the elevator shaft.   
  
_That would explain the smoke, I guess..._  
  
She smiled to herself as she decided to take a gamble on one of them. The floor was somewhere in the vicinity of twenty feet below her, which meant that she'd pop out somewhere above his cell if she had the right duct. She began to swing on the cable, her stomach in a knot now as she built up enough momentum for her feet to kick the vent in.   
She kept swinging, knowing she'd only get one chance at this or she'd fall to her death...  
  
_One... Two... Two and a half..._  
  
She let out a grunt as she let go of the cable on three, flying towards the square shaped hole in the wall. She caught it, struggling to hold onto the shiny metal edge, but managing to pull herself up into it.   
"Jesus Christ..." She muttered, pausing for a second to catch her breath, shaking like a leaf. She glanced down at the palms of her hands, the skin burned, red and stinging like crazy. Zara thanked her lucky stars she'd gotten this far, surely Bucky wouldn't be too much farther and she'd have a little backup. She wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hands and patted her hip to make sure the gun was still there.  
  
_No time for melt-downs... get on with it, girl..._  
  
She gathered herself back up again, making her way down the duct, peering down each vent as she passed over them. It became obvious that word had gotten out that she'd escaped, commotion spreading between the guards in the halls.  
  
_Fuck, fuck, fuck..._  
  
Soldiers were on high alert, some were running, and every single one of them were armed. Her chest tightened and she kept moving, hoping Bucky was okay. She pictured him surrounded, and her thoughts wandered to her pistol and its' very limited amount of bullets. She kept moving, becoming aware of the smoke thickening and following her along the duct.  
  
_Surely the rest of the building hasn't caught alight!?_  
  
She stopped in her tracks over the fifth vent she came to, looking down to see a long haired, leather clad Bucky, pacing back and forth. Her breath hitched and she covered her mouth to quiet a sob that threatened to come out. Her eyes darted around the room, from where she was she could see a bald man in the cell beside him, and guards in front of a makeshift office beside the main door. She wouldn't be able to drop down to him as his cell had a roof of steel bars - eliminating the possibility of him attempting to escape. The other obvious problem she faced was the fact that his room would be sealed with a force field.   
It was an easy call to make that it had to have been generated by an inhuman, rather than a machine, much like the one that'd caught them out at the safe house.   
Peering around the room, the advantage was that aside from the two guards, there was only the bald man in the room with him. None of them knew Zara was there, and if she could take the force field out, then they'd have no chance of stopping Bucky once he escaped. She swallowed hard, taking a moment to think about what she was about to do, deciding the bald man had to be the one responsible for the force field. He looked like a nice enough guy, and was there against his will if he was in a cage. Him and the guards were going to have to die, and countless others when Bucky was free, innocent or not.   
She exhaled as she held the gun out, taking comfort in the fact that the innocent couldn't be rescued anyway. As much as she'd love to save them all, it was going to be impossible. Time was against them and now the building was filling with smoke and armed guards.   
  
There was no time for remorse or regret, it was now or never. Kill em' all. Escape. Go after Ward.  
  
She aimed the gun through the holes in the vent, pointing the barrel at the bald man. She exhaled as she pulled the trigger, watching him fall to the floor before the guards snapped into action. She kicked the vent out, the grid hitting the metal bars above Bucky's cell, Zara dropping the gun down to him as a shower of bullets bounced off the duct she was hiding in.   
In her panicked attempt to get out of the way she slipped, falling from the vent hole, the bullets miraculously missing her. She hit the bars across the top of Bucky's cell, landing hard on her stomach, winded. Gunshots rang out, Zara jamming her eyes shut in the hopes that she wouldn't be hit.   
The room went quiet, save for the sound of the fire sprinklers in the ceiling coming to life. Relief flooded over her that the guards were dead, and Bucky was alive. His eyes were full of worry as he hurried to the cell door, effortlessly tearing it from its hinges. Zara pulled herself to the edge of the cell, unable to speak out loud to him, struggling with every breath still. She glanced up at the air duct she'd just been in, it only now occurring to her the height she'd fallen from and how lucky she really was.  
  
Bucky was quick to position himself under her when she got close enough, glancing over his shoulder before his eyes met hers again.   
It took everything in her not to cry as she paused at the edge, not sure whether she was relieved or still scared out of her mind. Probably both if she was honest....  
"I got you baby. Just jump..." He soothed, a sense of urgency in his voice behind the kindness. She pushed off the edge, trusting him to catch her. She landed in his arms with a thud from that height, letting out a whimper when the pain in her ribs hit her again. He was already running with her before she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his chest.   
They made their way to the guard office in seconds, Bucky setting her down momentarily as he pulled half a dozen guns and spare magazines from them. He scooped her back up before she had the chance to argue with him, her head still spinning from the fall as he ran them down the hallway at super soldier speed.  
Explosions rang out above them making the building shake, and the room quickly filling with smoke, gunfire ringing out again as Bucky went into soldier-mode, relentlessly taking down anyone who came into sight.  
  
Bucky ran them down the corridor, holding his gun up again when he heard several sets of footprints coming towards them through the smoke. His arm tightened around Zara protectively as he was hit with the realization that he couldn't take out every single one of the men approaching and get them out safely.   
He backed into an empty dark room, closing the door quietly behind them, cradling Zara's head against his chest to keep her quiet. He backed them into the corner where he crouched to stay hidden in the shadows, listening to the soldiers making their way past them. Zara got her bearings together enough for him to set her down in front of him, both of them remaining silent while they hid. Bucky looked her up and down, examining her for a few moments with a regretful expression on his face before pulling her trembling body into his arms again.   
They both remained silent until the sound of the last set of boots was well into the distance, Bucky pulling away enough to look into her eyes, pausing for a moment before he spoke, his voice a whisper.  
  
"Jesus Christ, Zara... What the hell happened to you?" He asked, brushing the wet hair from her face,  
"I got you out" Came her wheezy, hoarse reply, Zara trying her best to smile despite their precarious situation. Bucky let out a pained sigh as he pulled her back in, holding her protectively against his chest. Her eyes closed as she suppressed the urge to lose it right then and there when his arm tightened around her, his hand rubbing her back, soothing her.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Zee" He whispered into her ear, followed by a kiss on her cheek as he listened for the commotion in the hall to die down, "This never should have happened while you were with me"  
"It's not your fault" She croaked, tears stinging her eyes again as she bit her lip, hanging onto him even tighter.  
"Yes it is, I should have killed every last one of them when I had the chance... You should have been safe"  
"I am, I've got you don't I?"  
  
Bucky let out a breath, nodding as he gave her another squeeze, "I don't care what I have to do, but I'm gonna get us both outta here. That's a promise..."  
"I know you will" She said, pulling away enough for her lips to find his, her eyes closing as his hand cupped her cheek. He kissed her tenderly, Zara feeling protected in his arms amid all the smoke and water and chaos around them, a rumble reverberating through the building.  
  
They pulled away from each other mid kiss, exchanging a worried look.  
"Yeah, I kind of set the building on fire..." Zara admitted, Bucky nodding, having come to that conclusion for himself when the sprinklers had been set off.   
"You don't do things by halves do you?" He said standing, pulling her to her feet gently, Zara still holding onto him as she tested her shaky legs.  
"I'll carry you" He said, bending to scoop her up, Zara putting her hands out to stop him.  
"No I'm fine. You shoot, I'll stay at your six..." She said, objection showing on his face, "Feel like saving the day?"  
  
Bucky let out a breath and nodded, cocking his gun and tossing her a spare pistol as he stepped towards the door to peer out the window.  
  
"You stay behind me" He said, his no-nonsense voice on, "No hero stuff"   
"No hero stuff" She agreed, flicking the safety off her gun.  
"I mean it, Zara. You did your part, now I'm gonna do mine. I'm in charge from here on out"  
  
She nodded her head and relaxed a little as she reached out for him, Bucky leaning down to kiss her, pausing before his lips touched hers. Water dripped from his hair as his piercing blue eyes bore into hers as if waiting for an answer to a very serious question.  
  
"You're in charge, Buck... Now kiss me and get us the hell outta here..."


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter FINALLY up! A bit of action in this one, so I hope you all enjoy it. I know I say this every time, but thank you so much to everyone who's reading, and I really appreciate all the kudos etc. You guys are amazing and it's awesome motivation to write in my spare time. Starting to wrap this fic up, only a few chapters to go so I hope you all enjoy it :) Luv Kaytee xoxoxo

  
  
Zara blew out a breath, wincing as the muscles around her ribs contracted. Her hand went to the site of the pain involuntarily , Bucky pursing his lips as he noticed. She gave a brave smile as he reached out to give her shoulder a squeeze, his face painted with concern, followed by another offer to carry her which she hastily declined.  
  
The hallway was mostly clear now after the influx of soldiers that had stormed through while they'd hidden in the empty office. Bucky stood back up from his crouched position, helping Zara to her feet again, watching her face carefully as she grit her teeth, downplaying the pain she was in.  
"I'm okay..." She whispered, cutting him off as he opened his mouth to speak. She pulled the slide back on her gun, arming it, and pushed the wet hair off her face, the sprinklers having saturated them both.  
He let out a sigh, pulling the door open quietly and peering out of the room. He took Zara's hand wordlessly and pulled her behind him gently as they made their way along the corridor, the overhead lights flickering on and off intermittently. The floor was two inches underwater and it occurred to Zara as it sloshed over her boots that it was an unusual amount of water for just a sprinkler. The other question burning into her mind was wondering where it was going to drain to if they were underground?  
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of gunfire, Bucky shooting four agents before Zara's eyes had even picked them up through the sprinkler mist and smoke haze. She was suddenly very grateful for her company.  
He turned to check if she was okay after he'd abruptly shoved her behind him, relieved that she'd grabbed onto the back of his vest to balance herself. She suddenly gasped with fright and reached around him, shooting another two guards in quick succession as they appeared in front of them.  
Bucky wheeled around again as more shots rang out, his metal arm raised to shield them both from incoming bullets, the ricochet echoing along the hallway as each shell bounced off his hand. He shot back until all of them were dead, Zara losing count as to how many dropped onto the wet floor after he'd shoved her behind him again.  
He turned to survey the area both in front of them and behind before taking her hand again and breaking into a fast jog. They rounded a corner, Bucky pulling her in after him, Zara suddenly concerned when he frantically started checking her all over for wounds.  
"Bucky- Wha- What are you doing, I'm fine!" She stammered, grabbing his wrists to stop him, panic in his face, "I'm fine, they didn't get me.."  
  
He stopped and pulled her into an unusually tight hug, Zara worrying a little, she'd never seen him this stressed in combat situations.  
"I'm fine, Buck" She said again, reassuring him as he took her face in his hands and laid a kiss on her lips, "Are you alright?" She asked, her voice hoarse.  
He nodded in response, letting out a tense breath before looking over each shoulder to check if the coast was still clear.  
"That was too close..." He muttered, Zara not sure if she was meant to hear or not. She could feel his heart racing in his leather-clad chest, despite the cool demeanor he was trying to put on as he gathered himself together.  
"We have to keep moving" He said, keeping his voice low as he shoved a fresh magazine into his gun, clenching his jaw as he tried to work out their next move.  
"There's no stairwell on this level" Zara started, "I came down through the elevator shaft and kicked a vent in... The building's running on backup power, so the fans aren't running. The ducts are full of smoke so we'll have to get in and out as quick as we can... Not a great idea, but might be our best chance to get out?"  
Bucky nodded thoughtfully, chewing the inside of his cheek for a moment before checking over both shoulders and turning to her again.  
"Which way?" He asked.  
  
Zara followed him down the hallway, her pistol ready to go in her left hand. Their journey to the nearest elevator was an uneventful one, the pair of them running with their heads ducked to avoid as much smoke as possible, Zara pulling her long sleeve over her hand and covering her mouth with it. The sprinklers were still going and the floor was soaked, their boots sloshing through an inch or two of water as they ran.  
They came to a halt at the end of a long corridor, a set of steel doors presenting themselves on the left which Bucky made easy work of prying open. They peered into the shaft, not being able to see anything above or below them due to the thick smoke, Bucky cursing under his breath in frustration. He bit his lip for a moment as if trying to decide what they'd do, gently grabbing Zara absent-mindedly to pull her closer to him.  
  
The building groaned again, the sounds of more yelling echoing up the elevator shaft spurring Bucky into action again.  
"I don't like that we can't see in there, but we've got no other choice..." He said as if answering Zara's unspoken concerns, "If it was just me, I'd go in a heartbeat. Things are different when you're trying to keep someone else safe..."  
  
The worry in his voice sent a chill up her spine, Bucky never got worried unless things were _really_ bad... Zara let out a couple of muffled coughs into the sleeve of her shirt, closing her eyes for a few seconds, not sure if the water or the smoke was making them sting. She gave them a rub, shaking off any traces of vulnerability she thought she may be showing as she took his hand, putting up a united, strong front. The two of them looked up, watching a cloud of smoke making its way down the corridor towards them, swallowing them up in darkness. Bucky reached up with his free hand to quickly push his dripping wet hair back off his face, blowing out a breath as he grabbed her and pulled her into the elevator shaft.  
He lifted her onto the service ladder in front of him and ordered her to climb, following close behind her. She grit her teeth and pulled herself up, rung by rung, trying her best to ignore the pain she was in. Tears stung her eyes as the smoke got thicker and thicker, the very act of breathing nearing impossible, never mind trying to climb a ladder. Dizziness took her over as she struggled against herself, the only thing keeping her going was Bucky's encouraging words coming up from below her. She gasped in every breath, her hands shakily trying to grip the wet ladder rungs, when a noise above them got her attention.  
"SHIT!" She heard Bucky curse before she realized he'd yanked her away from the wall and they were free-falling. Her body crashed into his as he pulled her into his chest with a thud, holding her there tightly as sparks above them lit the shaft up enough for her to see what was going on.  
They slid down the elevator cable, Bucky's metal hand gripping it as he tried his best to slow them down. Zara risked a glance upward to see the elevator coming down above them, before she had to jam her eyes shut again as they dropped through a thick cloud of black smoke.  
"Hold your breath!" He only just had time to yell, Zara quickly obeying him as they plunged into cold, dark water. Terrified, she opened her eyes underwater to see Bucky prising the nearest door open before dragging her through it, the elevator barely missing them as it crashed down where they'd just been.  
The breath left Zara's lungs in horror at their extremely close call, Bucky pulling her along behind him by her arm as he desperately kicked to the surface. The pair of them simultaneously gasped in a breath when they popped up into an air pocket, their heads inches from the ceiling.  
Zara coughed wildly, panic taking her over when she realized the water was slowly rising. She desperately reached up, clinging onto an overhead pipe, tears running down her face as her worst nightmare came into fruition.  
"Bucky? " She called out, frantically looking for him, "BUCKY!?"  
"I'm here, I'm here..." He reassured her, unable to hide the worry in his voice as he came up beside her, both of them clinging onto the overhead pipe, water pouring into the room.  
"Are you okay?" He asked, Zara bravely nodding in response.  
"Are you?"  
"Yeah"  
Her eyes flicked around the room, looking for a way out as she tried to steady her breathing, before turning to him again. She shivered against the cold, her teeth chattering furiously as she made eye contact with him again.  
"I don't know what to do..." She said hopelessly, choking up as the tears fell again, "I wanted to save us, but I don't know if I can... I'm so sorry..."  
  
Bucky frowned, his heart breaking as he desperately tried to think up a plan to get them out, his eyes locking onto the pipe that the water was pouring out of. He grit his teeth when he came to the realization that it'd been cut, along with the pipe at the opposite side of the room.  
He looked back over to Zara who had all but completely unraveled, hanging onto the pipe for all she was worth as she lifted her chin to keep her face above the water. He'd never seen her so scared and more than anything all he wanted to do was save the day, get them out and protect her. To hold her and keep her safe and warm...  
  
"Don't you dare start that" He soothed, "there's still time..."  
  
Zara gave in to the tightening of her chest again, wheezing turning into a coughing fit as more smoke seeped into the room through an overhead vent. Bucky pulled her away from the pipe, keeping her above water level as best he could as he swam them as far away from the smoke as possible. He placed her hand around another exposed pipe so she had something to hang onto, the building groaning loudly above them again.  
Her eyes shot to his, full of fear again as if reading his mind...  
  
_It's going to collapse...  
_  
"I've gotta find us a way out" He said, not wanting to leave her, but finding no other option, "you stay right here and don't move from this spot" He added authoritatively.  
"Bucky-"  
"-I'll be right back, okay? I won't leave you in here, Zee. That's a promise."  
  
Zara nodded, her lip trembling again despite trying hard to be brave.  
"Be careful... _Please_..." She begged, trembling still as she reached out to put an arm around his neck, the other still holding the pipe above her to stay afloat.  
Bucky nodded, his free arm wrapping around her and pulling her into him, tight. He let out a breath before leaving a kiss on her temple.  
"I will. Stay here and don't let go of that pipe, I'll be right back. Okay?"  
"Okay"  
"I love you"  
"I love you, too"  
  
He kissed her tenderly, something about his lips leaving hers making Zara's chest tighten uncomfortably again. She watched as he took a deep breath and disappeared below the water, biting her lip as that horrible feeling of dread overwhelmed her, a ball of ice seemingly forming in her chest.  
The building groaned again, a loud crash erupting in the room above her, the few emergency lights in the room flickering before totally losing power. The room plunged into darkness, Zara losing her breath as panic and hysteria settled in, Bucky nowhere to be seen. She could hear her heart thumping in her chest over the sound of water gushing and her rapid breath.  
She waited for a minute or two, worried now that Bucky hadn't resurfaced yet. The thought of him being trapped underwater entered her head, and she wondered if the super soldier thing meant he could hold his breath longer underwater...  
  
_No, that's ridiculous..._  
  
She gave it another minute before she decided she was going to have to dive under to find him, the thought of duck diving into cold, black floodwater terrifying, but the thought of losing him even worse.  
The building groaned loudly above her head again, snapping her out of her train of thought. She let out a gasp when a chunk of concrete dropped from the ceiling, opening up the ceiling above them, along with a whoosh of more water, like a floodgate opening.  
Zara gasped and held her breath before her body was forced under, and she began kicking like mad to try and find her way to the top. She managed to drag a breath in when her face surfaced momentarily before being washed away by another gush of water like a surfer being sucked through a barrel.  
She was slammed into a concrete wall, her head bouncing off it hard, dazing her. Her body went limp, dread setting in as the fear of dying crossed her mind.  
  
_Where the hell is Bucky!?!?_  
  
Relief hit her like a truck when she was pulled out of the water by a strong arm, Zara still not with it enough to open her eyes or answer the voice calling her name. She had just enough strength to cling onto him as he climbed through the rubble, up out of the water, dragging her behind him.  
"Zara..." Came his voice again when they paused, solid ground below them, "Zara!"  
She groaned and tightened her grip on his bicep, feeling a hand behind her neck, followed by lips on her forehead. She opened her eyes, not seeing much in the dark, her hands making their way to his cheek, his familiar stubble scratching her hands gently. She let out a breath of relief as her other hand found his metal arm, reassuring her brain that it was in fact him and not Ward.  
"Are you okay?" She asked, her voice hoarse and tired as her hand settled on the back of his head, feeling warm blood in his hair, "Jesus Christ, you're bleeding!"  
"I'll be fine, I just got in the way of the ceiling when it fell..."

Zara blew out a tense breath, her thumb tracing his cheekbone as she cupped his face. Another loud crash made them both jump, Bucky pulling her against him protectively, Zara's head snapping towards the direction of the noise. A chunk of ceiling came down, hitting the water with a loud 'splosh', revealing dim emergency lights still working in the floors above them.  
Bucky was already on his feet, pulling Zara to hers as his eyes locked onto a desk on the other side of the room. He tightened his grip on her hand, running with her to the other side of the room, carefully going around the gaping hole in the floor and keeping his head ducked from the falling debris.  
He lifted Zara onto the desk, climbing up after her and helping her up through the hole in the roof to the floor above them. The rubble surrounding them made it easy to go up through the floors, Bucky in full 'super hero mode' now as he worked tirelessly to get them both out of there.  
They stopped for breath, both of them peering down through the gaping hole that was now the collapsed center of the building. It was hard to tell how many floors they'd climbed up through now with concrete, furniture, and various other pieces of debris scattered everywhere. Worryingly, it hadn't taken long for the water level to rise, Zara now also becoming aware that the pipes had been cut off and the building had been flooded intentionally. When she gave it some thought, it was probably all too convenient that they hadn't been intercepted on the way to the elevator shaft, and that the elevator itself had come down above them, forcing them back into the basement...  
Movement above them interrupted their moment of peace, Bucky swallowing hard and looking up as vibration shuddered through the building, another section of the roof collapsing. Bucky pulled Zara in tight, wrapping his arms around her and trying to shield her as much as possibly while she clung to him. He'd deflected as much of the ceiling with his metal arm as best he could, the sheet breaking in half as it hit them.  
  
A whistle above them got his attention when the dust settled, along with two dozen soldiers with rifles pointing at them. His heart sank instantly when he realized they were terribly outnumbered, his eyes darting back down to the very out-of-it girl who was now slumped unconscious in his arms.  
"Barnes..." Boomed a familiar, smug voice amidst the crowd, "It's over"  
  
Bucky drew in a breath, uncertainty taking him over as his mind raced, desperately searching for a solution. His heart thumped in his chest and his breathing picked up as he took in the scene around him.  
Surrounded by enemies, Zara's limp body in his arms, and the gaping, rubble filled, smoking cavern that was opening up underneath them...  
His chest tightened as he looked down at her still face in the dim lighting, she was so pale, so vulnerable. She'd gone through hell to get him out, and now he wasn't so sure if he was going to be able to return the favor. He brushed the wet hair off her face, a condescending laugh erupting from above him, infuriating him.  
"Bucky, Bucky, Bucky... Look at what you've become..." Came the voice again, Bucky glaring in response.  
"What's it gonna take, Ward?" He asked, his voice dripping with hostility, "If you want me, you've got me... Let her go and I'll do whatever you want."  
  
Ward let out a deep, throaty laugh, thoroughly amused.  
"Giving up that easily?" He taunted, pulling a gun out and pointing it at them, coming up alongside his soldiers, joining the ranks.  
"You'll only keep coming for us... Coming for her..." Bucky said, "This ends here and now"  
"Let's just get one thing straight - I'M the one calling the shots here, not you."  
  
The building groaned again, snapping Ward into business mode as he motioned for someone to come to his side, Bucky clenching his jaw as he tightened his arms around Zara. She stirred in his arms, her eyes opening slowly as the scene materialized around her. He rubbed her back reassuringly as he watched her expression go from realization to fear, his eyes going back to Ward and the man beside him.  
Bucky let out a breath, trying his best not to look relieved as he realized it was Larson.  
  
Ward smiled, relishing the fact that everything was going exactly to plan; he had Bucky and Zara right where he wanted them. With the Winter Soldier under his control, he would be a force to be reckoned with. Not only was Bucky a valuable asset when he co-operated, but he would also become an invaluable bargaining tool to be used against Shield if things went south. He'd be able to take down the Hydra leaders once and for all, and the inter-faction war would be over. No more political agendas, no more competing within the upper ranks... Hydra would be whole again, and it would be his to manipulate how he pleased.  
  
Bucky screwed his face up, suddenly hit with a strange dizzy feeling which was followed by a ringing in his ears.  
  
_No, no, no... This is NOT happening..._  
  
He jammed his eyes shut, trying to shake it off, Zara picking up that he was in trouble, her frightened expression hitting him hard as guilt suddenly took him over. His body trembled, panic rising up in him as familiar feelings manifested, his thoughts going straight to the microchip in his head, and the blood in his hair...  
  
That's when he heard the command in his head.  
  
_Get up, and hand Zara Jones over to us..._


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooh - loads of action in this one! Hope you guys enjoy it, thanks again for all the messages, such good motivation when you are all such lovely readers. Wrapping this fic up in a couple of chapters, just gotta tie a few loose ends up first! ;) Thanks so much to all of you who've taken the time to read it, leave me a kudos or a comment. Big love to you all! -Kaytee xoxoxo

  
  
A grim scene opened up before her eyes, worse than any of the many nightmares she'd had over the last few months. After slipping in and out of consciousness she fought to stay awake, her cheek pressed against Bucky's wet, leather-clad chest. Zara clung to him as the water level rose, shivering with cold despite being wrapped in his arms as they both looked up into several gun barrels.  
Zara's heart pounded furiously in her chest as she made out a smirk forming on Wards face through the smoke that was still filling the room. She tightened her grip on the chest straps on Bucky's vest, her eyes darting up to his when his grip around her body loosened. His expression had gone from one of worry to one of, well, blankness...  
  
_No..._  
  
Her stomach dropped as he stood, yanking her roughly to her feet by her arm. Panic hit her hard as she pulled against him, her thoughts going immediately to the blood in his hair, and suddenly she worried about the chip in his head being damaged. His grip tightened like a vice around her arm, making her gasp in pain and fear. She glanced up to see Larson standing beside Ward, being given commands, his eyes glazed over as he stared into space like a zombie.  
  
Bucky moved again, his metal hand going to the gun at his hip, Zara losing her breath as pure terror took her over. She did the only thing she could do in that split second and went for his other gun, Bucky stopping her in time to spin her in against his chest. His flesh arm constricted around her body, holding her there uncomfortably tight as he threw his gun into the water below them.  
  
"Bucky, what the hell are you doing!?" She choked out, hardly able to believe what was happening.  
  
He pulled another gun out and threw it as well, one by one unloading his arsenal into the water below them, even taking her weapons and throwing them away, too. She struggled desperately to pull away from him, all her worst nightmares coming into fruition at once in front of her; the icy dark water rising, Bucky being under control, and the inevitability of Ward winning the battle against them - the burning building around them being an added bonus.  
  
_This can't be happening... I can't go through this again... I, I..._  
  
Zara gasped as her breath started to leave her, a panic attack imminent as she looked around for a way out, knowing it was absolutely hopeless. She twisted in Bucky's grip enough to see his blank expression as he looked up at Ward and Larson as if waiting for his next order.  
  
_Think, think THINK..._  
  
She knew without even trying that she couldn't fight Bucky, he was far too strong, easily double her weight, and had a height advantage of close to a foot. She looked up at all the guns pointed at them, the smoke filling the building, a dim orange glow from the fire above them, and the water spewing from the broken sprinkler pipes. The building groaned loudly, another chunk of ceiling falling into the water from across the room, and a crack making its way up the wall.  
Zara swallowed hard and tried to settle her nerves, knowing that she'd have to use her brain to get out of this, and use it fast. Bucky began to move, dragging her along behind him as he made a beeline for a pile of rubble and began climbing it. Zara dug her heels in, trying to struggle against him, knowing if nothing else it would buy her valuable seconds to formulate a plan. Without thinking twice, he swung her over his shoulder, the pressure against her sore ribs taking her breath away.  
"Bucky STOP... _PLEASE!!_ " She cried, her plea falling on deaf ears as he lumbered along.  
He effortlessly pulled them up towards the next floor, Zara gasping for breath as she looked over her shoulder towards their awaiting captors, Ward obviously loving what was unfolding.  
  
Bucky reached up, pulling them onto the next floor through the gaping hole in the ceiling. He stopped beside Larson, setting Zara down on her feet beside him, a sinister smile on Wards face. Zara's eyes flickered around the room before she decided that her only chance was to take out Larson like she took out the force field guy. One bullet between the eyes and Bucky would be free, and she was fairly sure he could get them out.  
There was a problem with killing Larson though - not only was he a local celebrity, but he also came from a family of attorneys... And then there was the ethical dilemma it presented of killing an innocent man. Bucky had been in the same boat only a few short years ago, doing horrible things under the control of Hydra...  
  
Zara let out a strained breath, now wasn't the time to worry about remorse. Innocents had already died in this battle, and if Ward wasn't stopped, then the numbers would just keep stacking up. There was always going to be collateral damage...  
  
_Ugh, now is not the time to feel guilty. There was NO way to free Bucky without taking force-field guy out, and there's no way to get either of us out of here without taking Larson down. Bucky says it all the time - 'I'd rather be dead than under control again'..._  
  
She grit her teeth and lunged towards the soldier to her left, her fingertips grazing the handle of his pistol before Bucky grabbed her, yanking her away. The soldier was quick to get his act together, turning his gun to her, Ward letting out an amused laugh.  
The building groaned again, another big chunk of burning debris falling through the ceiling above them, taking out part of the floor below as it crashed down.  
Ward ordered some of his soldiers to get to safety, before muttering something to Larson. Without warning, Bucky shoved her into Wards grasp, Zara's trembling hands against his chest as she looked up into his dark eyes.  
He spun her so her back was against him, one of his henchmen hurrying to tighten a zip tie around her wrists.  
  
"How does defeat taste, Miss Jones?" He purred into her ear, before leaving a lingering kiss on her neck, his eyes floating up to meet Bucky's.  
"Get the _fuck_ off of me!" She screamed, squirming in his grip, Ward restraining her effortlessly, slapping a hand over her mouth while he was at it.  
He ran his metal hand over her flat stomach, his fingers tracing up the curve of her waist suggestively as if to test Bucky for a reaction. He stopped under her breast, Zara letting out another muffled cry as she struggled in vain to get away. Ward chuckled to himself when he got no reaction from Bucky, absolutely relishing the moment.  
Zara looked up at Bucky with big, frightened eyes, not sure now where escape might lie. Her breathing picked up pace as she started to accept defeat, the fire loudly picking up ferocity in the room above them.  
  
_What now... What the hell do we do now..._  
  
  
  
  
Everything inside Bucky SCREAMED at him to get her out of Wards arms; his lips on her neck and the sadistic smile as his hands explored her body making Bucky want to rip his spine out. The look on her face was something he just couldn't even think about right now as the wheels turned in his head.  
He'd heard the first command in his mind from Larson loud and clear, and was faced with a gut-wrenching decision- to roll with it, or to fight? Fighting meant taking on Ward, a collapsing, burning, flooded building, and the two dozen soldiers with assault rifles pointed at them. He knew he was good, but he wasn't _THAT_ good. Rolling with it meant that they thought they had the upper hand, and even better - security would be relaxed.  
The fact that he could hear Larson's commands but wasn't under any obligation to follow them was a huge bonus and meant he could play right into their hands. He'd earned their trust enough for Ward to have already sent some of his men away, the soldiers either side of Bucky not worried by his presence in the slightest.  
Trying not to show any reaction to Zara was the hardest thing, she'd cried in his arms as he'd restrained her, his grip biting into her flesh. He knew he'd hurt her and hated himself for it. Even more so the fact that she'd probably never trust him again. He'd not only lied to her and betrayed her completely, but he'd literally handed her over to the very person who'd been terrorizing them both... All those months of her suffering nightmares would surely be back tenfold, and he was sure that every time he closed his eyes he'd be plagued by the sight of her looking up at him in fear.  
  
He looked on, keeping his expression blank and obedient while his thoughts raged on in his head, the guilt eating him alive where he stood. The only thing that was keeping him going at this point was the lesser of two evils; Zara might hate him after all this was over, but at least she'd be alive. Hate, distrust and fear was a whole lot less permanent than death or capture. He'd make sure that Ward would pay dearly for that as well, if this cost him his relationship with Zara, then heads were going to roll - quite literally if Bucky had his way.  
  
The tears had stopped rolling down Zara's cheeks and she just stared hopelessly into space, swaying on her feet occasionally as if she was about to collapse under the stress. She'd initially struggled against the zip ties around her wrists and the skin had split and bled, but by the looks of it she didn't care anymore. She knew there was no use in trying, and for the first time in her life, she'd just given up.  
  
Her breathing picked up pace as Ward mumbled something to Larson, and barked an order at his soldiers. They were quick to follow their instructions to leave as more burning pieces of the building came down with a crash, embers flying around the room.  
  
Bucky's eyes flicked between them all, making sure nobody saw him working things out, until that voice filled his head again.  
  
_Get Ward, Jones, and myself out of this building alive. Now._  
  
Bucky let out a breath, giving Larson and Ward a nod of acknowledgement before turning to the soldier on his right. He reached over at lightning speed, snatching something from the young man's backpack and tossed it across the room. Zara's eyes followed it, widening when she heard the beep over the roar of the flames.  
  
"NOO!!" Ward cried out, barely having time to turn away as the grenade detonated, a huge explosion bringing down the roof above them. There were shrieks of terror and pain as the soldiers he'd ordered out had been crushed in their tracks, flames engulfing the room they were in. Ward coughed violently, blinded by smoke, embers and gushing water for a moment, the sound of gunshots snapping him back into reality.  
He sucked in a breath, realizing he was being dragged by the back of his vest, and his prisoner was no longer in his arms. Bucky picked up momentum, breaking into a jog as he carried Zara to safety, dragging Ward behind him. They made their way up a smokey, wet corridor which hadn't yet succumb to the flames, Bucky's boots sloshing through the water covering the floor. There was a loud crash overhead as a burning beam dropped through the roof, the wall quickly catching alight. Time was running out, fast.  
  
He picked up the pace, still holding Zara over his shoulder securely as he ran them down the corridor looking for an escape route. A loud, robotic sound interrupted his thoughts as a metal arm hit him in the leg, hard, tripping him up. He came down with a crash, Zara landing hard, unable to stop herself as her hands were still bound.  
Furious, he stood up, turning to face Ward, who was still on the ground. Bucky stood on his chest, pressing down hard with his heavy boot, pulling out a handgun and aiming it at his head.  
  
"I was ordered to turn you into Shield... But why bother? It'd be so easy to end you, right here, right now..." Bucky snarled aggressively as he thumbed the safety off, pulling the trigger quickly without thinking twice. Ward roared in pain, his hand going to the bullet wound in his shoulder above the joint to his metal arm.  
Bucky let off another three shots, his gun going to clicks being the only reason he stopped. Ward gasped for breath, shocked that Bucky had let him live. He writhed in pain, looking up into the eyes of the former fist of Hydra, his expression serious and terrifying. The well placed shots had rendered Wards' metal arm useless, and at a guess he wouldn't be able to stand up on his own, much less run out of the flames when the time came.  
  
Zara looked up in horror from her spot on the floor, having been unable to get to her feet. Bucky crouched down to pick Wards foot up, dragging him by it towards the nearest door off the hallway they were in. They passed Zara, Ward reaching out to her in vain, absolute terror in his eyes.  
"Stay there" Bucky said coldly, making eye contact with her. A chill ran up her spine as she watched him kick the door open and toss Ward in like a ragdoll. He turned to close the door, his eyes meeting hers again, the fear showing in hers angering him again.  
  
Zara jumped as the door was slammed, leaving her alone in the smokey, dark corridor, sitting in two inches of icy cold water. Her breath picked up pace as she looked to her left, the orange glow getting closer and closer to her, the sprinklers overhead not making much of a difference to the flames. She heard a gut-wrenching scream behind the door that Bucky and Ward had just gone in, suddenly feeling sick at the thought of what might be going on in there. She pushed the wet hair off her face, heart racing as she struggled to stand. Another horrible scream rang out, followed by a gruesome cracking sound and more screaming.  
  
Zara's hands went to her mouth in horror as she contemplated making a run for it, her imagination running wild, having never seen this terrifying side of Bucky before. She stood, frozen in fear under the sprinkler as another series of screams rang out, more cracking and a final scream which was quickly hushed by a loud crash.  
  
Bucky came out of the room a second later, eerily relaxed as he closed the door behind him. He made a beeline for Zara, her mouth dropping open involuntarily as he got closer. She stumbled backwards away from him, Bucky reaching out to grab her, pulling a knife from his pocket. Zara screamed, her hands coming up to shield her face as he grabbed her wrist. She was snapped back into reality, when she realized that he'd cut the zip tie, freeing her, rather than hurting her as she'd expected.  
She swallowed hard, somewhat embarrassed at her assumption, confused as to what was going on with Bucky. He frowned as if reading her thoughts, hating the uncertainty in her face.  
  
"We've gotta go" is all he said, keeping his voice low.  
  
The orange glow got closer, the fire making its way along the corridor now. Zara took one look at it, and turned back to Bucky, knowing deep down that he'd get her out safe. She nodded, trying to slow her breathing down and get her composure back. He reached out, taking her hand and before she had time to argue, they were off running.  
Zara grit her teeth, shielding her face from the water coming down overhead with her free hand, the smoke getting thicker and thicker the further down the corridor they ran. Bucky suddenly skidded to a stop, pulling Zara out of the way before a section of ceiling dropped down in front of them, crashing right through the floor. They backed away quickly as the floor began to fall out from under them, the walls around them quickly going up in flames too.  
Bucky frantically looked over both shoulders before his eyes landed on Zara, both of them panicking now. Zara coughed as the smoke overwhelmed them both, her head spinning and her ribs still hurting like crazy. She shook her head hopelessly at Bucky, now more certain than ever that they weren't getting out of this one.  
  
He grit his teeth again, there was no way in hell things were going to end for them like this. Not on his watch. He scooped her up and shielded her face, Zara coughing harder now as the smoke got too much, burying her face in his chest.  
Bucky took a few steps back and with a short run-up, he jumped the gap in the floor, powering along as fast as he could go. He leaped over chunks of debris as they fell, the building starting to come down around them. They eventually came to an elevator shaft, Bucky testing the heat of the metal doors with his flesh hand.  
  
_Red hot... God dammit..._  
  
He looked back over his shoulder, the flames getting closer and closer. He swallowed hard and jammed his metal hand into the gap between the doors and pulled, getting out of the way as quickly as he could. Flames roared out of the elevator shaft, the doors opening kick-starting an inferno, the heat almost unbearable. A glance down to Zara made his chest tighten as he saw her drifting in and out of consciousness.  
  
_Fuck, fuck, fuck..._  
  
His heart raced in his chest as the flames subsided enough for him to step into the shaft, a rare moment where he was grateful for his metal arm. He held his breath, tossing her over his shoulder and jumping towards the ladder, praying that it'd hold them. He climbed as fast as he could, the soles of his boots melting on the metal rungs of the ladders, the heat and smoke suffocating him.  
  
He took a gamble at the second elevator door they got to, and pried it open, keeping out of the way for the sudden inevitable burst of fire, shielding them both as best he could.  
The room before him was the worst one yet damage-wise. The air rippled in front of him, the heat like nothing he'd ever felt before. He scanned the room in seconds, and locked onto a row of blown out windows. There was no way they were getting out without getting burned, but it was a whole lot better than dying, and they were well and truly out of options now.  
  
_Here goes..._  
  
Bucky swallowed hard and made a run for it, sticking to the edge of the room where the building would in theory be the most sound. Embers flew at him as he ran through the flames trying desperately to shield them both as he made a beeline for the window. A loud crack rang out as his foot went through the floor, tripping him up. Zara flew from his arms despite his best efforts to grab onto her.  
"NOO!" He screamed out as she landed, Zara's body rolling towards a hole in the floor, jolting her back into consciousness for a moment. She gasped, reaching out for him in that split second as he yanked his foot free and clumsily lunged for her at the same time. His metal fingers grazed her fingertips as time seemed to stop, Bucky's world running in slow motion as he held his breath. He barely had time to notice the floor underneath him had dropped as his flesh hand desperately swung to catch hers as she fell.  
  
His hand locked around hers with a loud slap, Bucky looking down into her frightened eyes, the scene taking him back to the Hydra battle. He'd watched her fall into a pit of flames, much like the one underneath her now... This time she hadn't fallen, he'd caught her, and through some miracle, his metal arm had locked around a beam and they were both still okay. He swallowed hard again, relieved for a moment but knowing they weren't out of danger yet as he pulled them back up.  
He scooped Zara back up, more determined than ever as he took off running again, keeping his steps as light as possible as they got closer to the window, the building groaning as more and more of it collapsed around them. He held his breath, taking a leap of faith, the window being higher above ground level that he'd counted on.  
  
The cold night air just about knocked the air out of his lungs, Bucky bracing himself as they came down, hitting the snowy ground outside. He landed in a crouched position still holding Zara, his metal hand against the ground to steady him before getting back to his feet. He ran like hell into the woods nearby, looking over his shoulder a couple of times to make sure the coast was clear without slowing down. He ignored his heaving breath and the pain shooting up his leg where it had gone through the floor, only caring about getting them as far away from the building as possible.  
He slowed to a jog, eventually stopping in a particularly sheltered area, his legs giving out as he sunk to the ground in sheer exhaustion. Zara was still in his arms, Bucky beyond relieved that she was still breathing as he checked both of them for wounds. Their clothes were quite torn up with plenty of jagged burn holes revealing sore red flesh underneath. They'd certainly have scars to show if they made it through the night.  
  
He gathered himself up, trying to catch his breath, suddenly worried when he realized they were both soaking wet, shivering, and sitting in half a foot of snow.  
  
"Where the hell are we..." He wondered aloud as he looked around him, his hand over his chest as he caught his breath. He'd had himself convinced that they were in a city building, it coming as a surprise that they were in an underground bunker in the middle of nowhere... His next thought went to home where it had stopped snowing weeks ago. Bucky shook his head, deciding he'd have time to work it out later. He peered down at Zara's pale face, chattering teeth and blue lips, deciding that he'd have to find them somewhere dry to hide out until the morning - whenever _that_ was.  
He let out a long breath as he struggled to his feet, still holding her close as he looked around, confused as to which direction would get them anywhere.  
  
_Why do we always get into these situations when it's fucking cold, wet and dark!?_  
  
They now had a whole new set of obstacles to worry about, the threat of hypothermia now looming over them as the heavens opened up, dropping a fresh layer of snow which could be seen in the clearing nearby. He decided to head in the opposite direction to the burning bunker, the sky full of embers becoming a good guide that they were going in the right direction.  
  
He trudged on, breath hanging in the air, and wet clothes sending a chill down to his bones. Bucky let out a breath, planting a kiss on Zara's forehead, making a silent promise that he'd get them to safety. One way or another, they'd get home safe...


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Zara find their way to safety and law low while they figure out their next move <3 x

  
  
It didn't take Bucky long to find a reasonably sheltered area in front of a huge collapsed tree. Most of the trunk had rotted out, giving them somewhere dry to camp for the night. He set Zara down and started building a fire, reluctant at first because of any attention it may draw, but the unease not outweighing that of the threat of hypothermia. He'd gathered tinder and found an ideal stick to use as a spindle, and within minutes he had a coal. All those nights alone out in the cold had taught him a thing or two about survival, after all.  
  
He gathered sticks and small logs for himself and Zara to lay on so they were up off the damp ground, and took their boots and socks off and hung them near the fire to dry, along with his leather vest. He was thankful for a still night, although it was cold, there wouldn't be a wind chill - something that would have made it even harder to warm up and dry off.  
He held Zara on his lap,  positioning them so their feet were nearest to the flame, warming them as quickly as possible along with their hands. She was still out cold, Bucky dutifully watching her and hoping like hell she kept breathing. He turned them around occasionally, steam pouring off their clothes when the fire built in strength and heat.  This brought him some relief, as it'd be a whole lot easier to stay warm when their clothes finally dried.  
  
Bucky stayed up all night keeping the fire going, and keeping watch for any enemies that may be on the hunt for them. He was sure most of them were dead, but one could never be too careful. Larson and Ward certainly wouldn't bother them - he'd made sure of that, personally. A bullet for Larson, and as for Ward... Well, his death had come as promised - painful and torturous. If he'd had the time he would have drawn it out, but as much as he'd have relished that, it was too important to get himself and Zara out and safe as quickly as possible.  
He peered down at her as she shivered into his chest, lips still blue and teeth still chattering like they had for most of the night. He'd wrapped the leather vest around her to make up for the flimsy long sleeve shirt she'd been wearing, but it hadn't done a whole lot.  
  
_At least we're still alive..._  
  
The sun finally began to rise, revealing grey skies - not what Bucky was hoping for, but at least the day should bring a little warmth. He'd pulled his boots and socks on when they were dry enough, doing the same for Zara before he stood up and stamped their fire out. He scooped her up, holding her close to his chest and looked around, deciding to get moving again.  
The fresh snow crunched under his boots, having fallen thicker than he'd realized throughout the night. The clouds overhead kept gathering, and just as he'd predicted, more snow fell.  
He pushed on, losing track of time as they got deeper and deeper into the woods, Bucky now worried that he'd taken them the wrong way. His thoughts went to finding food and more importantly, accessible water. Dehydration was not their friend, and he'd been walking for hours.  
  
_This weekend just keeps getting better and better..._  
  
He let out a breath, feeling gradually more and more hopeless, but not willing to give up. He stopped in his tracks when he heard a noise, not quite sure whether it was a gust of wind or...  
  
_No... Is it? YES!!!_  
  
Bucky could hardly contain a grin when he realized what it was - the sound of a truck. They were near a road. He broke into a jog, a surge of energy hitting him along with a whole lot of relief. He carefully stepped towards the edge of the road, watching for any more cars, realizing it was a fairly desolate route. Not to be disheartened, he began making his way up the roadside, knowing that sooner or later it would lead to either a town or a freeway. He slid the safety off his gun tucked into the waistband of his pants just to be prepared, and trudged on. He cast the odd glance down to Zara's face, hoping she'd show some sign of waking up. He cradled her head against his chest, trying to keep her warm as he carried her, the sound of another vehicle approaching them from behind.  
He stepped back into the trees, squinting his eyes to try and make out the occupants, seeing it was an older couple in a pickup truck. Bucky did all he could do, turning towards them so they could see the frail girl in his arms, and stuck out his thumb, hoping they had a bit of sympathy about them.  
  
As he'd hoped, the truck rolled to a cautious stop not far from him, and cracked a window. Bucky put on his best 'polite and humble' expression as he approached the car, keeping a respectful distance, and peered over to the old couple.  
"In a spot of trouble, young man?" Came the reserved voice of the driver, the hint of a southern accent shining through.  
"Yes, sir. Is there any chance we could hitch a ride to the nearest town? We've been in an accident, and she needs help" Bucky answered respectfully with a sense of urgency, nodding down to Zara as he turned so they could see her pale face. The old man muttered something to the old lady, and whatever he'd said, she'd disagreed with him. Bucky's heart sank, realizing that his rugged appearance could be coming off quite threatening...  
  
"We've been out in the woods all night and I don't know how much longer-"  
"-It's okay, son..." The old man started, letting out a breath, "You can ride in the back, but any funny business... Well, I'm ex marine, and I'm armed. Hearin' me?"  
"Loud and clear, sir. Thank you"  
  
The truck rumbled along, picking up speed as it wound its way around the snow covered mountains. Bucky was grateful for the lift, only realizing just now how far out of the way they were, and how deep into the woods they'd been. They never would have made it out on foot before dehydration or the cold got the better of them. He hugged Zara tightly against him, his chin resting on her head as he tried to shield her from the cold wind with the leather vest she was still wrapped in.  
  
A good half hour passed before they rolled into a town, shops, a service station and a motel all lined up beside one and other on the main stretch. The truck pulled up and Bucky got out of the tray, taking Zara with him.  
"Thank you both..." Bucky said, a grateful smile on his face, "I wish I had something to offer you, but I don't have a cent on me..."  
"Oh, we wouldn't hear of it!" The kindly old lady said from the passenger seat, a sympathetic smile on her face, "Is there someone you can call? Will you be alright?"  
"Yeah, we'll be ok" he answered respectfully, "thanks again for the ride, I appreciate it a whole lot" he added. His eyes locked onto a motel a few buildings away as he stepped back, giving the couple a smile and a nod as he turned to walk away.  
"Wait!" The woman called out, letting out a sigh as she opened her purse, "I can't leave you on the side of the road with nothing-"  
"-No, no... You don't have to do that-" Bucky started, the woman shushing him before thrusting a few notes at him.  
"Take it. Please..." She said, her face insisting, Bucky full of uncertainty, "I know I don't HAVE to, but we were young once, and we've been in trouble before and had someone help us out..."  
"Uh..." Bucky shifted awkwardly, not sure if it was a trap or not, glancing over both shoulders before looking back at the lady, frowning as he tried to work out if she was genuine or not.  
"Don't be too proud to take help when it's offered, I can see that you need it... Make an old lady happy." She insisted, "I'll sleep well knowing I've helped someone"  
  
Bucky let out an uneasy breath, looking up at the old man who was clearly exasperated with his wife, but in agreement with her charitable gesture. She looked up at Bucky, trust in her eyes as she continued to hold the money out to him.  
  
He knew they needed hot showers, food and somewhere to lay low, and the motel was the only place in sight. He also knew the only way they were getting a room was with money - which he didn't have, or putting a gun to the desk clerk's head - which was only going to get them into trouble. He hated the thought of accepting money, or any favor for that matter, but one glance down to Zara's pale face convinced him that he didn't have much of a choice.  
He reached out slowly and begrudgingly took the cash, finding himself a little overwhelmed at their random act of kindness. They refused to pass on their names, and wouldn't hear of him paying them back, only asking for him to one day do the same for someone else, which he swore he would.  
  
He thanked them again, mentally taking note of the car registration number as they drove off, and made his way to the motel entrance. He managed to pick up the last available free room under fake names, having to turn the charm up at the girl behind the counter to convince her to let them stay without ID.  
  
The room was small, but had all the amenities they'd need - a bathroom with a washing machine and drier in the corner, a bedroom, and a stocked bar fridge. He locked the door and pulled the blind shut, making his way to the bathroom and filling up the tub. He stripped both himself and Zara off, throwing their clothes in the washing machine and starting its cycle. He placed his gun beside the bathtub where he could reach it easily, and lowered himself into the water, Zara in front of him. He let out a breath of relief as she shifted a little, a quiet whimper escaping her.  
"Shhh..." He soothed, gently resting the back of her head against his chest as he ran the hot washcloth across her collarbone, taking care over the many scrapes and bruises that had come up. He lifted her wrists, washing her hands and arms, making his way to her body, taking in every injury as he went. He frowned, anger rising up in him again as he pictured the beating she must have endured to get bruising like that... The split lip, back eye and bruised cheek were bad enough, never mind the shades of black and purple blanketing her ribs, back, chest and limbs. They both had burns which had stung against the heat of the water, and various grazes, cuts and scrapes which Bucky was now on a mission to clean up as best he could.  
They sat in the tub until the washing machine had finished its cycle, Bucky getting out and lifting her with him, relieved that they were both clean and warm. He dressed them both in the robes provided, laying Zara down on the bed and pulling the covers over her before throwing their clothes in the drier.  
  
An inspection of the bar fridge revealed that there wasn't much in there aside from snacks, Bucky settling on a cheese and cracker pack to stop his stomach grumbling as he peered over to Zara who was still asleep. He sat on the edge of the bed, noticing a sheen of sweat on her forehead and movement under her eyelids. He placed his hand on her forehead, suddenly worried at the heat radiating from it.  
"Zee?" He asked softly as she stirred, Bucky leaning over her, his hand on the other side of her body. She let out a quiet groan, her eyes slowly opening a little, squinting as the room took shape around her. She frowned in confusion, her breath picking up pace as she tried to sit up, wincing in pain.  
Bucky pushed her chest back down gently, reassuring her so she wouldn't panic.  
"It's okay" he soothed, "we're alone, and we're safe..."  
  
Zara frowned again, her head spinning as her face paled. She rolled onto her side, leaning over the side of the bed as she coughed, nausea rising up but nothing coming out. Bucky had done the gentlemanly thing and pulled her hair away from her face, rubbing her back with his free hand. She struggled to her feet, predictably ignoring Bucky's insistence for her to stay in bed. He helped her to the bathroom despite himself, putting the toilet seat down and sitting her on it. He steadied her with one hand while pressing a cold washcloth to her forehead, listening to the chesty sound of her breathing. It was any wonder she'd gotten sick after the few days they'd had...  
"You've got a fever" He said quietly as she swayed, her hand gripping the side of the vanity to keep herself upright as she let a breath out. Her lips parted as if she was about to say something, deciding she didn't have the strength before dropping her chin to her chest. Her vision faded as she wobbled again, Bucky quick to catch her shoulder, holding her upright. He lifted her chin with a metal finger, letting out a worried breath when he realized she was out again, before standing and scooping her back up.  
  
Bucky ran his fingers through his hair, pacing while he worked out their next few moves.  
  
_Call shield. Organize a pick up, find medicine for Zara, get food into both of us, and keep her safe while we wait for help._  
  
He stopped in his tracks, giving himself a nod and headed for the bathroom. He rinsed the washcloth in cold water, ringing it out and placing it back over Zara's forehead as gently as he could, a knot forming in his stomach at the thought of leaving her. He let out a breath, thinking of the row of shops along the main road, remembering seeing a medical logo on one of the buildings. He convinced himself he could get there and back again in less than an hour, and they'd surely have something that could kill a fever. Hopefully she'd still be asleep by the time he came back, and never even know he was gone...  
  
He scribbled a quick note on the souvenir pad, leaving it on the nightstand beside the bed for her in case she woke up and panicked;  
  
Zee,  
I've gone to get medicine and make a phone call to get us out of here. It's 5.45pm, I'll be back within the hour. I've locked the door and taken the key. Stay where you are and  DO NOT LET ANYONE IN THE ROOM EXCEPT ME. There's a gun under your pillow, safety is on.  
-Bucky x  
  
  
  
  
Zara's eyes cracked open, the room materializing around her slower than what she'd like. Her head was thumping like she was in a rave club, her ears were ringing and she couldn't move. A dark figure slumped in an armchair to her right stirred, and her chest tightened, thinking she was in trouble. He mind was screaming for her to run, but she could barely lift her arm, never mind anything else. A tear welled in her eye as she stirred helplessly, her breath hitching as her gaze locked onto a needle in her arm.  
"Zara... Zara, you're okay..." Soothed the voice from across the room, the dark figure getting up from the chair and appearing by her side before she could blink.  
She coughed again, feeling congested, tired and cold, despite the sweat on her brow. Her free hand went to yank the needle out, being stopped by the much bigger hand of the man beside her.  
"It's me, Bucky... You're safe..." Came the voice again, Zara swallowing hard as she composed herself, his familiar face materializing in front of her.  
"Don't touch that... It's just fluids, you're sick..."  
"Wha..." She started, her face screwing up in confusion as she struggled to put a sentence together, much less speak at all.  
"The bag's almost empty..." He mused aloud, her eyes traveling up to the clear plastic bag hanging from a bent coat hanger that he'd hung from the back of the desk chair.  
  
Zara frowned, a frightened look on her face as she tried to put the pieces together. Bucky let out a breath as he stood up and examined the plastic bag, giving it a light squeeze as his eyes followed the tube down to the canula on the inside of her elbow. Zara's free hand went back to the needle, Bucky stopping her a second time.  
"Leave it there, babe." He soothed, his expression soft. "It's gotta stay in until you can sit up and drink."  
With those words she stubbornly began to stir, Bucky pursing his lips and shaking his head at her.  
"Help me" She croaked out, her voice small and hoarse. He let out another sigh and sat her up, Zara wincing as he shimmied her back to rest against the headboard.  
"Can you drink?" He asked, gesturing towards the water bottle on the nightstand. She gave a small nod and shakily reached over, using all her strength to grip the bottle, sliding it towards her. Bucky clenched his jaw, picking up the bottle for her in spite of himself, cracking the lid open, dropping a drinking straw into it and holding it up to her lips. She managed a small smile before taking a sip, looking up to him for approval. The corner of Bucky's mouth crept up a little, turning into a breathy chuckle. He ducked his head, his hair flopping into his face momentarily before he pushed it back.  
"Fine..." He said, mock-stern as he looked back up at her, "But you have to drink when I tell you to, or it goes back in. Got it?"  
"Yep" She managed, her face looking brighter already.  
  
He picked up her arm, instructing her to stay still as his other hand disappeared into a bag on the floor, fishing out a roll of tape and a pack of cotton balls.  
He held the skin taut and gently pulled her needle out, taping a cotton ball over the hole it left. He capped the needle, throwing it into a separate bag and looked back up into her eyes, still reading confusion in them as she glanced down to the bag of medical supplies.  
"...There's a clinic up the road, I went down a few hours ago and got a few supplies. You were still out when I got back, so I hooked you up and let you rest."  
"Why?" She breathed,  
"You're sick and dehydrated. We were out in the snow all night, you don't remember?" He asked, Zara shaking her head a little, "Do you remember getting away from the bunker?"  
"It was burning..."  
"That's it. We helped each other get out... I ran us into the woods, and tried my best to keep us warm - didn't do a good enough job evidently" He said, cracking a small sideways smile, "I gave you a shot of penicillin too, so you should start feeling a little better soon..."  
"How did you know to do that?" She asked, sentences finally starting to come together as she slowly became more alert.  
"Penicillin kills infection. You're sick - it was an easy call to make..."  
"The IV?"  
"How else was I going to get you hydrated? Wasn't like I could pour water down your throat... Plus I have this really accident-prone girlfriend" He said, Zara letting out a breath, amusement on her face, "So many times I've sat by your bedside... It's called watch and learn - you can thank Reeves for that" He added, giving her a wink.  
  
Zara chuckled lightly, her hand grasping her sore ribs making her grit her teeth in pain. Bucky frowned, suddenly feeling guilty all over again.  
 She nodded over to the water bottle, Bucky passing it over again, holding the straw so she could drink.  
"So where are we?" She asked when he took the straw from her lips and screwed the cap back onto the bottle.  
"Not far from the Canadian border... We're a long way from home, but I've called for help. I left a message with Steve so it's just a waiting game now. If he's not here by tomorrow, we make a move."  
  
She nodded again, not liking the thought of being on the run yet again, but knowing how important it was to keep mobile - especially when things were so uncertain for them.  
"That means we both need to get some rest. I'm no good to you if I'm tired, and you won't get better without sleep" He said, pulling his boots and pants off, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
"Are we safe?" She asked, slipping the robe off, preferring to sleep in a shirt.  
"Doors and windows are locked, nobody knows where we are, and you're with me..." He said, Zara dropping the robe on the floor and laying back down on her side, her eyes on Bucky as he pulled his shirt off over his head.  
"I know I've let you down before, but it won't happen again, Zee. That's a promise." He said determinedly.  
"Bucky, you never let me down-"  
"-The fact that _any_ of this happened while you were under my protection means I _did!_ " He cut her off, more aggressively than he meant to. Zara swallowed hard, uncomfortable now, Bucky letting out a breath as he calmly continued on.  
"I took Ward and Larson out - AND their whole army... Anyone else comes for either of us, they'll meet the same fate. I'm not playing games anymore. They so much as LOOK at you the wrong way - they die. That's it." He said, pulling the sheets back and sliding into bed beside her.  
He took her hand, laying face to face with her, a certain fearlessness in his eyes that Zara wasn't sure whether to be comfortable with or not...  
"I know you don't like this side of me, Zee... But I can't live like this anymore. I've never cared about anyone like I care about you, and, well..." He stopped himself to choose his words carefully, "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Zee. I won't lose you again."  
  
Zara reached up and took his hand, giving it a squeeze which made him relax a little. She lifted it to her lips, kissing his wounded, red knuckles before letting out a tired breath. Bucky reached out, smoothing her hair away from her face, his expression softening a little.  
"I thought you'd hate me after I handed you over to Ward..."  
"You scared the _shit_ out of me, but you did what you had to do..."  
"I'm so sorry Zee, I hated doing it. More than you'll ever know"  
"I thought your chip was damaged and Larson had you... I thought that was it for us. Thought that it was all over" She admitted, her eyes glossing over a little.  
"I didn't know what else to do, I figured it was the one way for them to trust me on the spot. I had to get close enough to do damage, or they would have shot one of us and used it against the other-"  
"I know..."  
"Well, at least it worked... Ward won't bother us again"  
  
"I'm afraid to ask what happened to him..." Zara said nervously after a pause,  
"Then don't" Bucky said abruptly, "Just know that I made sure that chapter of our lives was definitely over... He's just lucky that time wasn't on my side..."  
  
Zara closed her open mouth, wishing she hadn't even brought it up, an apologetic look crossing Bucky's face.  
"Come on, lets get some shuteye." He said, changing the subject. He switched the lamp off and helped her roll over so her back was against him, his arms wrapping around her, "Big day tomorrow, whichever way it goes."  
  
She nodded, deciding it was probably lucky that she was feeling so tired and unwell. There would have been little chance of her falling asleep otherwise.  
Visions of the last 24 hours entered her mind as she started to drift off, her aching body keeping her reminded of everything she'd endured. Even her labored breathing brought back memories of icy cold water, the fire and thick smoke. Once again they'd gotten themselves both in and out of a situation which could have changed the course of their lives forever - sure, they'd have plenty of scars to show for it, but they were here, together again.  
  
She shut her eyes even tighter as sounds of terrified screaming began echoing in her head, along with the sickening sounds she could only assume were bones being crushed to dust, and limbs being torn off... She shivered, unsure if it was with fear or from the icy cold water... Maybe the idea that someone so loving, gentle and kind could be so sadistic. She'd have given Ward a bullet and been done with it, but Bucky was dishing out some sort of unbelievable, horrifying punishment. He emerged from the door, his expression eerily calm and casual, like he was completely detached from whatever had gone on behind that door.  
  
Zara stirred uncomfortably, her body giving a shudder as her imagination gave her a running play-by-play of their time at Hydra.  
  
"Zara... Relax..." He soothed, his voice breathy and low, "I've got you..."


End file.
